Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - April 2024

 Part cartoon, part trailer.  Totally wonderful from about 60 years ago.

Dinner last night:  Ham and gruyere sandwich from Clementine's.

Forty Eight Years Ago Yesterday

 God bless Rick Monday.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pasta.

Paul Lynde to Block

When you recuperate from knee surgery, you find yourself watching old game shows...just like I did when I was home from school in the fourth grade.  The Buzzr network has a lot of good ones, but, for some bizarre reason, no vintage "Hollywood Squares."   And this got me to remembering the brilliance of Paul Lynde.

Peter Marshall: In the movies, Frankenstein's monster was always big and ugly. And he had lots of scars. What was his biggest fear?

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

Peter Marshall: Can you get 12 pounds of feathers out of a goose?

Paul Lynde: I got them in there, didn't I?

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: Oh, the Ty-De-Bowl Man.

Peter Marshall: According to research at USC, is it okay for your marriage to fantasize that your wife is Farrah Fawcett Majors?

Paul Lynde: If that doesn't work, try Lee Majors!

Peter Marshall: You've gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What's next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

Peter Marshall: Who are Mark Trail, Steve Roper and Tank McNamara?

Paul Lynde: Oh, you found my address book!

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the primary problem that develops with men's zippers?

Paul Lynde: Rust.

Peter Marshall: Is it possible to drink too much water?

Paul Lynde: Yes, it's called drowning!

Peter Marshall: True or false, Dan Rowan hasn't spoken to either his daughter or Peter Lawford since their marriage?

Paul Lynde: I don't think anyone has seen them except for room service.

Peter Marshall: Mama Cass Ellott has an official royal title. What is it?

Paul Lynde: Tubby!

Peter Marshall: The state of New York is repainting something that will be 90 next may. What are they repainting?

Paul Lynde: Arlene Francis.

Peter Marshall: During the 18th century it was common for a bride to sell something at her wedding reception to help pay for the cost of the wedding. What did she sell?

Paul Lynde: Her first born.

Peter Marshall: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?

Paul Lynde: No, but he's a terrific end table.

Peter Marshall: Why was Daniel thrown to the den of lions?

Paul Lynde: For jaywalking in Jerusalem.

Peter Marshall: You are leaving Hawaii by boat. Legend says that you'll return if you do something. Do what?

Paul Lynde: I guess have Don Ho's baby.

Peter Marshall: According to Mythology, if a Sphinx asked a man a question, and the man answered it incorrectly, what woud happen?

Paul Lynde: Circle gets the square.

Peter Marshall: The newest best selling album by this top star is entitled "To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With". Who's the recording star?

Paul Lynde: Little Baby Rose Marie.

Peter Marshall: Olivia De Havilland once sat on something in a movie that Roy Rogers says he grew to love. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A box of Milk Duds.

Peter Marshall: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they'regoing to do something together one more time. What?

Paul Lynde: Trade hairpieces.

Peter Marshall: Ann Landers recently wrote a book titled "How To Tell The Difference Between Love And..." what?

Paul Lynde: A kidney infection.

Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, "Things aren't always as bad as they seem if you..." do what?

Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.

Peter Marshall: Way up in the frozen north, what was Eric The Red's famous discovery?

Paul Lynde: Little Boy Blue.

Peter Marshall: Richard Burton wants one very much, but Liz is reported to be afraid to give him one. One what?

Paul Lynde: The Certs breath test.

Peter Marshall: Does Mark Spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster?

Paul Lynde: Well, it's easy to steer.

Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher says that he hasn't had one in eight years, but he's looking. For what?

Paul Lynde: Oh, an accompanist who takes Mastercharge.

Peter Marshall: Howard Cosell's wife recently said in an interview that her husband tells her this at least five times a day. What does he say to her?

Paul Lynde: Is my toupee back from the cleaners?

Peter Marshall: True or false, Paul...champagne glasses were designed to resemble Marie Antoinette's bosom?

Paul Lynde: And we have Karen Valentine to thank for the shot glass!

Peter Marshall: According to Compton's Encyclopedia, when Columbus returned from his famous trip, he brought Queen Isabella six naked savages, some animals, some plants, and something valuable. What was it?

Paul Lynde: I'll say the six naked savages.

Peter Marshall: Julie Nixon Eisenhower recently told reporters "You don't know what a relief it is not to worry about having them around all the time!". What are "they?"

Paul Lynde: Oh, Mom and Dad.

Peter Marshall: When is it a good idea tp put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for two minutes?

Paul Lynde: When your house is surrounded by the police.

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, King David asked beautiful and wise Abigail to do something after her first husband died. What?

Paul Lynde: Get him out of the room.

Peter Marshall: In the United States, what do we call the number one followed by 12 zeros?

Paul Lynde: Dean Martin And The Golddiggers.

Dinner last night:  Rigatoni and meatballs.

This Date in History - April 24

 

Happy birthday, Shirley McLaine.  It's also Barbra Streisand's birthday but I like you more so it's your photo I use.

1479 BC:   THUTMOSE III ASCENDS TO THE THRONE OF EGYPT, ALTHOUGH POWER EFFECTIVELY SHIFTS TO HATSHEPSUT.

Is it me or do these sound like cartoon characters?

1184 BC:  TRADITIONAL DATE FOR THE FALL OF TROY.

And the untraditional date is?

1342:  POPE BENEDICT XII DIES.

Dies.  This one didn't quit.

1558:  MARY, QUEEN OF SCOTS, MARRIES THE DAUPHIN OF FRANCE, FRANCOIS, AT NOTRE DAME DE PARIS.

She married Flipper???  Oh, wait, I read that wrong.

1704:  THE FIRST REGULAR NEWSPAPER IN THE UNITED STATES, THE NEWS-LETTER, IS PUBLISHED IN BOSTON.

And immediately trashed the Red Sox.

1800:  THE UNITED STATES LIBRARY OF CONGRESS IS ESTABLISHED WHEN PRESIDENT JOHN ADAMS SIGNS LEGISLATION TO APPROPRIATE $5,000 TO PURCHASE BOOKS.

So what else would you put in a library?  Hammers?

1885:  SHARPSHOOTER ANNIE OAKLEY WAS HIRED BY NATE SALSBURY TO BE A PART OF BUFFALO BILL'S WILD WEST SHOW.

You can't get a woman without a gun.

1907:  HERSHEYPARK, FOUNDED BY MILTON S. HERSHEY FOR THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF HIS EMPLOYEES, IS OPENED.

Until he figured out how much dough he could make by going outside the company.

1913:  THE WOOLWORTH SKYSCRAPER IN NEW YORK CITY IS OPENED.

They nickeled and dimed the construction costs.

1914:  MOVIE PRODUCER WILLIAM CASTLE IS BORN.

Scream.  Scream as loud as you can!!!

1914:  COOK JUSTIN WILSON IS BORN.

I guarantee.

1915:  THE ARREST OF 250 ARMENIAN INTELLECTUALS AND COMMUNITY LEADERS IN ISTANBUL MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE.

There goes Glendale, California.

1916:  ERNEST SHACKLETON AND FIVE MEN OF THE IMPERIAL TRANS-ANTARCTIC EXPEDITION LAUNCH A LIFEBOAT FROM UNINHABITED ELEPHANT ISLAND IN THE SOUTHERN OCEAN TO ORGANIZE A RESCUE FOR THE ICE-TRAPPED SHIP ENDURANCE.

Long historical sentences like that don't necessarily prompt a funny joke.

1926:  THE TREATY OF BERLIN IS SIGNED.  GERMANY AND THE SOVIET UNION EACH PLEDGE NEUTRALITY IN THE EVENT OF AN ATTACK ON THE OTHER BY A THIRD PARTY FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.

But, after those five years, watch the hell out.

1933:  NAZI GERMANY BEGINS ITS PERSECUTION OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES.

Somebody must have rang Hitler's doorbell on a Sunday afternoon.

1934:  ACTRESS SHIRLEY MCLAINE IS BORN.

For the seventh time.

1940:  AUTHOR SUE GRAFTON IS BORN.

B as in Birthday.

1942:  ACTRESS BARBRA STREISAND IS BORN.

See, Babs, what happens when you're a big mouth.  You don't get your picture on the top of my blog when it's your birthday.

1953:  WINSTON CHURCHILL IS KNIGHTED BY QUEEN ELIZABETH II.

As if she has anything else to do in a given day.

1957:  THE SUEZ CANAL IS REOPENED FOLLOWING THE INTRODUCTION OF PEACEKEEPERS TO THE REGION.

Has there ever been a day of peace in this region????

1967:  COSMONAUT VLADIMIR KOMAROV DIES IN SOYUZ I WHEN ITS PARACHUTE FALLS TO OPEN.  HE IS THE FIRST HUMAN TO DUE DURING A SPACE MISSION.

If it's me, I'm not looking to get on Soyuz II.

1967:  DURING THE VIETNAM AR, AMERICAN GENERAL WILLIAM WESTMORELAND SAYS THAT THE ENEMY HAD GAINED SUPPORT IN THE US THAT GIVES HIM THAT HE CAN WIN POLITICALLY THAT WHICH HE CANNOT WIN MILITARILY.

And the entire country says "huh."

1974:  COMEDIAN BUD ABBOTT DIES.

Nobody's on first.

1980:  EIGHT US SERVICEMEN DIE IN OPERATION EAGLE CLAW AS THEY ATTEMPT TO END THE IRAN HOSTAGE CRISIS.

Should have had the folks from Argo in charge.

1986:  SOCIALITE WALLIS SIMPSON DIES.

Wife of King Edward VIII and grandmother of Homer I.

1990:  GRUINARD ISLAND, SCOTLAND, IS OFFICIALLY DECLARED FREE OF THE ANTHRAX DISEASE AFTER 48 YEARS OF QUARANTINE.

They must have run out of milk and bread years ago.

1996:  IN THE US, THE ANTI-TERRORISM AND EFFECTIVE DEATH PENALTY ACT OF 1996 IS INTRODUCED.

That worked well.

1997:  COMEDIAN PAT PAULSEN DIES.

The only Presidential candidate I could ever get behind.

2004:  BUSINESSWOMAN ESTEE LAUDER DIES.

My mother wore her scents exclusively.  For those of you who care.

2005:  CARDINAL JOSEPHY RATZINGER IS INAUGURATED AS THE 265TH POPE OF THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH TAKING THE NAME POPE BENEDICT XVI.

Ratz-singa.  He's the Pope, the Pope with the Midas touch....  BTW, don't get attached to him.

2005:  SNUPPY, THE WORLD'S FIRST CLONED DOG, IS BORN IN SOUTH KOREA.

And promptly cooked for that night's dinner.

Dinner last night:  Ramen noodle soup.

Hollywood Then and Now - April 2024

The more things change...yeah, they stay the same.   

One of my truly favorite TV shows was "The Wonder Years" set on Long Island in 1968.  Meanwhile, they never ever got out of Burbank even if the exterior of the house looks so...well...Long Island.

And nothing has really changed with the exterior since they wrapped production approximately 30 years ago.

Yep, Los Angeles is nothing but one big back lot.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - April 22, 2024

 You can always depend upon live TV.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My First Baseball Summer

 

Travel back with me again to where we left off last Sunday.

I was basking in the afterglow of my first days in love with the New York Mets.

Despite my father who probably was hoping I would follow in his footsteps and pinstripes with the New York Yankees.

Those first months in Metdom were all consuming. I devoured anything and everything about the team. I figured that, to be a true Met fan, I first needed to memorize all the uniform numbers. Done.

I tried to commit to memory their batting averages. Done. But, wait. I soon discovered that the numbers changed every day. Oops. Well, a new baseball fan was bound to make a mistake or two.

I even tried to impress my dad with my baseball knowledge.

"Mickey Mantle wears number 7," I announced to him with pride.

Dad was starting to smart a little less about my baseball devotion. It wasn't long before he made the ultimate parental sacrifice.

He started to pay attention to the Mets. I guess that he figured if his son was this rabid, he might as well get involved as well. And, in short order, he got sucked in as badly as I did. I don't remember if there was a formal ceremony, but my father became a Met fan. He joined me on weekends in front of the TV. Games immediately popped on the radio as soon as we got into the car.

On a very hot Father's Day, my family made their usual holiday visitation to see all the dead relatives at Ferncliff Cemetery. Alongside the street where "Uncle Fritz" was buried, everybody hopped out of our car to do the necessary grave trimming. Grandma bounded out with hedgeclippers in hand. But my dad and I sat in the car, glued to the Met game on the radio. This was no ordinary contest. My father explained.

"This is history happening. The guy has a perfect game in the ninth inning."

I was a baseball fan, but I still didn't the complete significance.

"But the Mets are losing."

Minutes later, we listened to Phillies pitcher Jim Bunning strike out Met John Stephenson for the final out in this masterpiece. I didn't understand why this was such a big deal, but Dad did. That was good enough for me. Outside, Grandma continued to pull weeds out of "Uncle Fritz" and called out to my grandfather for assistance.

"Pop, get the shears!"

With summer upon us, my lobbying began in earnest. Since Dad was now on board with the Shea Faithful, it was time to complete the circle.

I wanted to go to a game at my other church. Shea Stadium.

For one of the only times in our lives together, Dad didn't use his usual response to our going any place.

"It's too far."

"There's too much traffic."

"It's too hot/too cold."

I guess he really wanted to go, too. None of those old standards seemingly applied. And he had a direct connection to some nifty seats. The guy he carpooled to work with had a wife who worked for Rambler, then the "Official Car of the New York Mets." Her dealership had a season box right behind the visiting dugout. She got four seats for a July Friday night. Her husband and her son. My father and his son.

Me.

I counted the days, the hours, the minutes, and the seconds. I started to plan out the Met rotation to see who would be pitching on this hallowed night. It would be Jack Fisher, wearing my favorite baseball number to this day. #22. This date would cement the love affair for all time. The Mets. Me. Together in the same place. I could reach out and touch them. Well, sort of.

This would be the best day of my life.

I could barely sleep the night before. Full of awe and wonder?

Nope, it was the rain pelting my bedroom window.

How could this be happening? God, why have you foresaken me? I mean, I went to Sunday School every week. I said my prayers every night. Rain??? Doesn't everybody in the universe know that I'm supposed to go to Shea Stadium tonight? And I dreaded the inevitable. This was totally playing into my father's back-up excuse for the usual trilogy of reasons why not to do something.

"It's too wet."

Uh oh.

My father had already taken the night off from work. His friend still wanted to go. The game was still on. Downpour or no downpour, we popped into the car around 6PM for the trip to Flushing.

I can still remember traversing the Bronx Whitestone Bridge with the sparkling lights of Shea piercing the raindrops on our windshield. This is where I was going. I had a ticket. Nothing could stop me now.

Thunderclap.

Lightning bolt.

Perhaps my first utterance of a curse word.

"Shit."

Not audible enough to be slapped across the kisser.

When we arrived at the blue and orange aluminum paneled palace, the grounds were a soggy mess. One puddle after another. We huddled under an umbrella. The game would be delayed but only a little. I stared with amazement at everything I saw as I entered Shea for the first time.

"Scorecard, scorecard here."

I wanted one. I would learn how to score that summer.

The souvenir stands. The amalgamated smell of hot dogs, pretzels, popcorn, and spilled beer. Like no other aroma. The escalators that raise up to the heavens. Well, in my case, the field level behind the third base dugout.

Billy Crystal has made a career talking about his first visual memory of Yankee Stadium. Walking up the ramp of darkness and suddenly emerging in the sun-kissed stands and the field with the brightness shade of green that God ever created.

Unfortunately, it was a little different for me that evening at Shea. Coming out of the tunnel onto the field level stands, I saw more darkness. And rain. And a soaked canvas covering the playing area. Indeed, having seen the Mets in nothing but Zenith black and white hues, the colors at that moment were almost the same. Muted, dull, and unimpressive.

It would grow on me in a matter of minutes.

Looming up in front of me was the gigantic scoreboard, which is spotlighted in the original artist rendering that tops today's entry. To me, at my tender age, it was nothing short of magical. Colors danced around the white backdrop. It had baseball scores from all around the country. I looked at the Met lineup and immediately recited to all who would listen those players we would be privileged to see that night.

"Number 10, second base, Rod Kanehl. Number 42, centerfield, Larry Elliot. Number 23, right field, Joe Christopher. Number 2, in left field, George Altman. Number 25, at first base, Frank Thomas. Number 12, catching, Jesse Gonder. Number 1, at third base, Charlie Smith. Number 11, playing shortstop, Roy McMillan. Number 22, and pitching, Jack Fisher."

With a less squeaky and even less juvenile voice, I could have replaced the public address announcer.

Around the third inning, little obnoxious Me decided to use my proximity to the Milwaukee Braves dugout and give them a child's version of Hell. No epithets. Just some good natured booing. At one point, their third base coach, Jo Jo White, was amused by me. As he headed back to the dugout, he stuck his hand in his pocket. And pulled out a handful of Bazooka Bubble Gum pieces. He tossed them into a rain puddle on the dugout roof. I grabbed them quickly.

The comic strips were soaked and not legible. The gum, however, was delicious. And I suddenly didn't hate the Milwaukee Braves so much.

Truth be told, other than the sense of shock and awe, I remember little about the game itself. Retrosheet tells me the Mets lost, 8-5, in front of a crowd that numbered 20,646.

As far as I was concerned, it was me, my dad, and 20,644 other people.

This game was my first. It would not be my last.

To be continued.

Dinner last night:  Beef with broccoli.