Friday, March 31, 2017

Giving Up Proofreading for Lent

More honest-to-God misprints in church bulletins.

1. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.

2. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

3. The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".

4. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

5. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

6. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

7. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

8. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

9. A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

10. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

11. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

12. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

13. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

14. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

15. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

16. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

17. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."

18. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

19. The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved... the financial secretary gave a grief report.

20. If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

Dinner last night:  Roasted Brussels sprouts with pancetta and onions.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Len's Recipe of the Month - March 2017

When I was growing, there was just one family meal that we ate together. Sundays at 2PM.   Ironically, it was my dad who shepherded the cooking while my mother sat at the kitchen table and fiddled with a crossword puzzle.  

Usually the Sunday meal was a roast of some sort.  Chicken.  Loin of pork. But, most of the time, it was roast beef.  And specifically an eye round.

Now, as I have learned, eye rounds are not the most sought-after cuts of beef. That is reflected in the price which is considerably cheaper than, say, a beef tenderloin which I have prepared the last two Christmases.   Tenderloin filets can cost up to 90 bucks for a three pound slab.  

Eye rounds at the cheaper price are also not as great a cut, taste-wise.  If simply roasted, it can be very tough and dry.   Trust me, I know.   That's how it got served on Sundays in my house.   My father would throw it in a pan with some potatoes, onions, and carrots.   Dinner.   The meat showed up on my plate as gray.

Now look above at the eye round roast I recently cooked.   You see the pinkish color?  It is possible to do an eye round with this end result.   It took a little research on my part.   Sorry, Dad.

Get yourself an eye round roast and pay attention to how much it weighs.   This is important.   Let's say yours is at three pounds.

Here's one key that never happened in my house.   Remove the meat from the refrigerator and let it stand at room temperature for at least an hour.   While it's on your counter, brush on liberal amounts of EVO, Kosher salt, and pepper.

Preheat your oven to 500 degrees.   Yes, you read that correctly.  Now, to do the whole dinner like I did above with the veggies, you hopefully have two ovens.

Place the meat in a pan and put it in the oven.   Yes, at 500 degrees.  You want to cook it five minutes for each pound.   In this example, that would be 15 minutes.   You'll hear all the spattering going on at this high heat.   At the end of the fifteen minutes, turn off your oven.   Yes, you read that correctly as well.   Now you keep the meat in there for the next two hours.   And this is important...

DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR FOR TWO HOURS!

Now, you can throw all the veggies in the same pan but I can tell you that they don't cook as well as they would in their own oven.   Ideally, for the last hour, you want to roast whatever veggies you want in a pan at 300 degrees with nothing but some EVO, salt, and rosemary sprinkled over them.

At the end of the two hours, pull the meat out and let it rest for ten minutes so all the juices get absorbed by the meat.   Carve and serve.   You will get a nice medium rare piece of beef from a cut that is almost impossible to cook.

You're welcome.

Dinner last night:   From my freezer...leftover homemade beef vegetable soup.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

This Date in History - March 29

Happy birthday to Denny McLain, a baseball star who was in and out of jail more than a politician.

502:  KING GUNDOBAD ISSUES A NEW LEGAL CODE AT LYON THAT MAKES GALLO-ROMANS AND BURGUNDIANS SUBJECT TO THE SAME LAWS.

I'm just amused by the name Gundobad.

845:  PARIS IS SACKED BY VIKING RAIDERS, PROBABLY UNDER RAGNAR LODBROK, WHO COLLECTS A HUGE RANSOM IS EXCHANGE FOR LEAVING.

Viking Raiders?   That's like two NFL franchises in one.

1500:  CESARE BORGIA IS GIVEN THE TITLE OF CAPTAIN GENERAL AND GONFALONIER BY HIS FATHER RODRIGO BORGIA AFTER RETURNING FROM HIS CONQUESTS IN THE ROMAGNA.

I'm just amused by the title Gonfalonier.

1792:  KING GUSTAV III OF SWEDEN DIES AFTER BEING SHOT IN THE BACK AT A MIDNIGHT MASQUERADE BALL IN STOCKHOLM.

"I didn't see who did it.   They had a mask on."

1809:  KING GUSTAV IV ADOLF OF SWEDEN ABDICATES AFTER A COUP D'ETAT.

I wonder where he was on March 29, 1792.

1831:  GREAT BOSNIAN UPRISING - BOSNIAKS REBEL AGAINST TURKEY.

A good day to be a Bosniak.

1865:  AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - FEDERAL FORCES MOVE TO FLANK CONFEDERATE FORCES UNDER ROBERT E. LEE AS THE APPOMATTOX CAMPAIGN BEGINS.

It's almost over, old man.

1867:  PITCHER CY YOUNG IS BORN.

I wonder whose award he won.

1871:  ROYAL ALBERT HALL IS OPENED BY QUEEN VICTORIA.

And Prince Albert is still in a can.

1882:  THE KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS ARE ESTABLISHED.

Meetings every Tuesday night at the VFW.

1886:  JOHN PEMBERTON BREWS THE FIRST BATCH OF COCA-COLA IN A BACKYARD IN ATLANTA.

The pause that refreshed.

1891:  PAINTER GEORGES SEURAT DIES.

Sunday in the Cemetery with Georges.

1916:  POLITICIAN EUGENE MCCARTHY IS BORN.

Peace and love.

1918:  SINGER PEARL BAILEY IS BORN.

One of my grandmother's favorites.

1936:  IN GERMANY, ADOLF HITLER RECEIVES 99% OF THE VOTES IN A REFERENDUM TO RATIFY GERMANY'S REOCCUPATION OF THE RHINELAND.

The other 1% were shot.

1942:  THE BOMBING OF LUBECK IN WORLD WAR II IS THE FIRST MAJOR SUCCESS FOR THE RAF BOMBER COMMAND AGAINST GERMANY.

Well, they had to hit one sooner or later.

1944:  BASEBALL PITCHER DENNY MCLAIN IS BORN.

He pitched, played the organ, and got arrested for gambling...a lot.

1951:  ETHEL AND JULIUS ROSENBERG ARE CONVICTED OF CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT ESPIONAGE.

If they were still around, they'd be hosting a show on MSNBC.

1961:  THE 23RD AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION IS RATIFIED, ALLOWING RESIDENTS OF WASHINGTON DC TO VOTE IN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS.

Oh, okay, if they insist.

1971:  MY LAI MASSACRE - LT. WILLIAM CALLEY IS CONVICTED OF PREMEDITATED MURDER AND SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON.

Today, he'd be a host on Fox News.

1973:  THE LAST UNITED STATES COMBAT SOLDIERS LEAVE SOUTH VIET NAM.

It's about freakin' time.

1980:  MUSICAL CONDUCTOR MANTOVANI DIES.

Without a first name apparently.

1984:  THE BALTIMORE COLTS LOAD ITS POSSESSIONS ONTO MOVING TRUCKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND HEAD TO INDIANAPOLIS.

Class act not.

1992:  ACTOR PAUL HENREID DIES.

Lots of acting roles, but best known for lighting cigarettes.

1999:  THE DOW JONES AVERAGE CLOSES ABOVE THE 10,000 MARK FOR THE FIRST TIME DURING THE HEIGHT OF THE DOT.COM BUBBLE.

http://thiswontlast.com.

2014:  THE FIRST SAME-SEX MARRIAGES IN ENGLAND AND WALES ARE PERFORMED.

I'd make a George Michael joke but I'm still withing the mourning window.

2016:  ACTRESS PATTY DUKE DIES.

Here's Cathy who's lived most anywhere...until now.

Dinner last night:  Long travel day....nothing.






Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Whatever Happened to "Whatever Happened..."

You would think that a mini-series about the legendary catfights between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis on the set of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" would be off-the-chart fun.  

At least, that's what I thought.   Now I've hung in there for most of it and I am still waiting for the claws to come out.  In the hands of super-gay producer and director Ryan Murphy, this should have been as bitchy as they come.  But, indeed, Murphy has done the impossible.   He's made this all dull and boring.

Okay, I've got to give the guy some props for delving deep into Hollywood lore and looking at a movie production from 1962.  After all, most people think that the first movie ever made was "Star Wars."   And, from the hearsay on the film, you know there was a lot to work with.   But, somehow, it doesn't turn up on the screen.   Yawn.

Jessica Lange is Joan Crawford and Susan Sarandon is Bette Davis and I wonder if their own battles would have provided best fodder than what Murphy shares.   Indeed, the mini-series meanders from one sleep-inducing scene to another and, frankly, the acting is pretty mediocre.

To make matters worse, the production values are sort of a bargain basement variety.  While the attention to detail is there when they are redoing actual scenes from the film, the rest of the set pieces look cheap.   At one point, a Golden Globe Award ceremony looks like it was shot in a Cheesecake Factory.

Oh, the missed opportunities, one after another.

Now if you want to have some real fun with this, go seek out the original movie and perhaps it's playing on a big screen near you.   This happened in Beverly Hills a few weeks back.   The place was packed and they loved every scene-chewing moment.   To make the fun even giddier, there were two drag queens in the lobby playing Baby Jane and Blanche reciting scenes from the movie.
Now that was fun.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 27, 2017

We conclude our tenth anniversary month with one more classic Monday morning giggle.   Ouch.

Dinner last night:  Leftover sausage and peppers.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Our Class Is Going Where?

Driving around my hometown of Mount Vernon, New York the other day, I naturally passed by my grade school on South 11th Avenue.  The Grimes School. From the recent photo above, I think you could make it singular, not plural. Just plain Grime School.

A few blocks away, I saw a school bus and this carted me back to a marriage of those images.  School trips I had in elementary or junior high school.

Ah, the memories.

Over the years, I've heard about some really nifty class trips taken by the kids of my friends. Washington DC, Canada, Europe.

Me? I went to Manhattan. Twice. On two of the perhaps most miscalculated excursions for seventh or eighth graders.

I had a music teacher, Mr. Ferraro, who liked to indoctrinate us all in the various forms of musical presentations. At Christmas time, we dug into "Amahl and the Night Visitors" for a while. And, for some reason, he loved to get us wrapped up with Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. Remembering now a little bit more about Mr. Ferraro, I probably should not have been surprised by that.

And then he tried to bring us into the world of opera.

He got us a special deal to go down to the Metropolitan Opera in Lincoln Center for a Wednesday matinee performance of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." For weeks before, we took entire classes to listen to the music and read the libretto. Every nuance of the story was studied and digested. God help us, we were going to get cultured.

Except Mr. Ferraro had goofed. He had acted so quickly on that great deal of tickets he had neglected to note that this afternoon's performance of "The Magic Flute" would be done in German. "Die Zauberflote."

Huh????

All the English libretto advance work went up in flames as the first word was sung by somebody who might as well have been reading us "Mein Kampf." The scene in our balcony turned ugly very quickly. Bic pens were hallowed out to be used for spitballs. Mr. Ferraro got the brunt of the spit-laden wads. Never before had Lincoln Center been the scene of such a battle. Three hours of singing the word "schnitzel" over and over seemed longer and more deadly than the Battle of the Bulge.

My class trip two years later wouldn't be much better. It was English class taught by Miss Dennis, a nasty bit of business who also loved to cram some Broadway dramas down our windpipes. Remembering now a little bit more about Miss Dennis, I also should not have been surprised. Nevertheless, she wanted to bring us to the "theatrah" and did so by scoring a great deal on tickets to a Wednesday matinee performance of Joseph Heller's "We Bombed in New Haven" and it bombed in New York as well. This would be my first ever Broadway show. It is miraculous that it was not my last.

Perhaps this was a play that Miss Dennis desperately wanted to see. Because, had she done a little homework, she would have realized that this was not one suited for a bunch of thirteen-year-olds who were still being challenged by last night's episode of "I Dream of Jeannie." I think this was an anti-war piece. Or existential? Or about saving an endangered mule? 

We had no clue. This thing was so far over our heads, most of us wound up in catatonic states high up in the balcony of the Ambassador Theater. With Bic pens not available, we resorted to another teen-age pastime: snoring. I've done some research and I see that this play starred Jason Robards Jr., Diana Sands, and Ron Liebman. Unless they were appearing on the back of my eyelids that afternoon, I never saw any of them.

The yellow school bus never looked more inviting than on the trip home from these two disasters.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions at Carlo's.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - March 2017

Fifty years ago this month.  Remembering one of Mary Tyler Moore's rare big screen appearances.

Dinner last night:  Chateau briand at the Hilton Woodcliff Lakes.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Hey! Did You See That Sign?












Dinner last night:  Skirt steak at Kingside.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Un Dia A La Vez

No, you didn't hit the Spanish button on your computer.   I'm just trying to join the diversity bandwagon.  Of course, if you're watching any TV show these days, you can't avoid that diversity bandwagon.   So many people have climbed on board that the wheels are starting to come off.

The latest example is a new Netflix series that is a reworking of the popular Norman Lear sitcom of the 70s and 80s, "One Day At A Time."   You probably know that if you read Spanish and saw today's blog entry title.  Indeed, Lear is working actively with Sony and Netflix to re-imagine and re-engineer all those famous "social content" sitcoms.   I am sure in short order that Archie Bunker will be a Black conservative, George Jefferson will be a Muslim, and Maude Findlay will have just gone through a transgender process.

Everything old is diverse again in 2017.

Okay, so first up for a 21st century update is the old "single mother in Indianapolis" concept that starred the late Bonnie Franklin, Mackenzie Phillips, the late Pat Harrington Jr, and Valerie something or other.  All right.  I admit to watching that show but largely due to raging hormones for that...er...Valerie something or other.

Now there are those that will argue the original was loud and shrill and I won't put up an argument to that.   It's amazing how raging hormones will tone down what others hear as histrionics.  Indeed, I did enjoy that show when it was not preaching from Norman Lear's political soap box and concentrating more on typical teenage issues like dating.  

To those of you who thought the first edition of "One Day At A Time" was loud and shrill, well, cover your ears if you want to sample Season 1 of the reboot.  It will challenge your auditory senses in ways not imaginable.

Right from the get go, you know this is "One Day At A Time."  The opening credits feature the old theme song but with a salsa twist.   The apartment set is virtually same, although it has been moved from Indianapolis to a Hispanic neighborhood in East LA.  There is even a lummox of a handyman named Schneider, albeit a trifle younger.  And, in even better news, the show is once again shot in front of a live studio audience, many of whom must be amped up on sugar because they scream delight at every joke.

But, in 2017, the old Romano/Cooper household has been replaced by a Cuban-American family.   Elena is newly separated from both the military and her husband.   Now she's doing her best, earning a living as a doctor's assistant and raising two snarky teenagers.   Instead of two girls, the kids are now a girl, Penelope, and a younger boy/con artist named Alex.  

Also deviating from the original is the inclusion of Lydia, their feisty live-in grandmother.  Rita Moreno has scored this role.   Rita's in her 80s but playing 70 and actually pulling that off.   The only problem is her character is so super annoying that she will get old in a hurry.   She's trying to be the same comic relief that Estelle Getty provided on "The Golden Girls."  Except Moreno's delivering every line like Manny Pacquiao in the 8th round of a prize fight.   How do you say "oy" in Spanish?

I've sampled four episodes so far and the tone is typically loud and overbearing when it comes to social issues.   Again, just like the original, the series is a lot more interesting when the plots are kept simple.  And the screaming is kept to a minimum.  But, as I've said, this is 2017 and we are going to have this type of content crammed down our throats like it is castor oil.  Indeed, another diversity box is supposedly clicked later on in Season 1 when I hear that Penelope announces that she is...  Okay, you connect the dots.

At the end of the day, I really have nothing against reboots like this "One Day At A Time" especially if they continue to push the multi-camera, live studio audience format.  But, this one feels like change for the sake of 2017 change and, while mildly entertaining, it's really pointless.

And trust me.   There are no raging hormones as I watch this one.

Dinner last night:  Spicy cashew chicken at the Cheesecake Factory.





Wednesday, March 22, 2017

This Date in History - March 22

Happy birthday, Stephen Sondheim.   A Broadway genius.

238:  GORDIAN I AND HIS SON GORDIAN II ARE PROCLAIMED ROMAN EMPERORS.

Having co-leaders of a country never works.

1508:  FERDINAND II OF ARAGON COMMISSIONS AMERIGO VESPUCCI CHIEF NAVIGATOR OF THE SPANISH EMPIRE.

Hopefully with an expense account.

1622:  JAMESTOWN MASSACRE - ALGONQUIAN INDIANS KILL 347 ENGLISH SETTLERS AROUND JAMESTOWN, VIRGINIA DURING THE SECOND ANGLO-POWHATAN WAR.

Powhatan sounds like a perfect name for a future Indian casino.

1630:  THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY OUTLAWS THE POSSESSION OF CARDS, DICE, AND GAMING TABLES.

So there goes the casino idea.

1638:  ANNE HUTCHINSON IS EXPELLED FROM MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY FOR RELIGIOUS DISSENT.

Meanwhile, her Westchester County parkway is one of the worst roads to drive in the nation.

1765:  THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT PASSES THE STAMP ACT THAT INTRODUCES A TAX TO BE LEVIED DIRECTLY ON ITS AMERICAN COLONIES.

And we've been nailed ever since.

1784:  THE EMERALD BUDDHA IS MOVED WITH GREAT CEREMONY TO ITS CURRENT LOCATION IN THAILAND.

I've got a take-out menu for Emerald Buddha somewhere in this house.

1871:  IN NORTH CAROLINA, WILLIAM WOODS HOLDEN BECOMES THE FIRST GOVERNOR OF A US STATE TO BE REMOVED FROM OFFICE BY IMPEACHMENT.

I'm surprised there haven't been thousands of politicians facing impeachment.

1872:  IILINOIS BECOMES THE FIRST STATE TO REQUIRE GENDER EQUALITY IN EMPLOYMENT.   

Before they could vote?

1887:  ACTOR CHICO MARX IS BORN.

Get-a your tootsie frootsie ice cream.

1888:  MY GRANDFATHER WAS BORN.

Oddly enough, he died on March 23...the very next day...78 years later.

1894:  THE FIRST PLAYOFF GAME FOR THE STANLEY CUP STARTS.

Even then, the playoffs were too long.

1912:  ACTOR KARL MALDEN IS BORN.

American Express Card Member Number 1.

1920:  ACTOR WERNER KLEMPERER IS BORN.

Hogan!

1930:  COMPOSER STEPHEN SONDHEIM IS BORN.

Merrily He Comes Along.

1931:  ACTOR WILLIAM SHATNER IS BORN.

I use the word "actor" loosely.

1939:  WORLD WAR II - GERMANY TAKES MEMEL FROM LITHUANIA.

Germany took everything in those days.

1945:  THE ARAB LEAGUE IS FOUNDED WHEN A CHARTER IS ADOPTED IN CAIRO, EGYPT.

This league featured a DT....Designated Terrorist.

1958:  FILM PRODUCER MIKE TODD DIES IN A PLANE CRASH.

Married Liz Taylor, won an Oscar, and then died.   Life ain't fair.

1960:  ARTHUR LEONARD SCHAWLOW AND CHARLES HARD TOWNES RECEIVE THE FIRST PATENT FOR A LASER.

Just in case it ever comes up when you're a contestant on Jeopardy.

1972:  THE US CONGRESS SENDS THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT TO THE STATES FOR RATIFICATION.

See how long this shit takes to pass.

1978:  KARL WALLENDA OF THE FLYING WALLENDAS DIES AFTER FALLING OFF A TIGHTROPE BETWEEN TWO HOTELS IN PUERTO RICO.

Well, he said he would be right down.

1992:  US AIR FLIGHT 405 CRASHES SHORTLY AFTER TAKEOFF FROM NY'S LAGUARDIA AIRPORT, LEADING TO A NUMBER OF SUTDIES INTO THE EFFECT THAT ICE HAS ON AIRCRAFT.

Duh.

1993:  THE INTEL CORPORATION SHIPS THE FIRST PENTIUM CHIPS.

In Ranch and BBQ flavors.

1994:  ANIMATOR WALTER LANTZ DIES.

Woody Woodpecker weeps.

1995:  COSMONAUT VALERI POLYAKOV RETURNS TO EARTH AFTER SETTING A RECORD OF 438 DAYS IN SPACE.

He obviously had a lot of vacation time coming.

1997:  THE COMET HALE-BOPP HAS ITS CLOSEST APPROACH TO EARTH.

Slow news day...that March 22, 1997.

2013:  BASKETBALL STAR RAY WILLIAMS DIES.

From my home town of Mount Vernon, New York.

2016:  ACTRESS RITA GAM DIES.

And I bet she had nice ones.

Dinner last night:  Roast beef sandwich at the NY abode.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

38 Minutes

That's how long I lasted in the theater before I picked up my stuff and left "Song To Song."   This is a movie that goes down in Len history as the very, very first film that I have ever walked out of.   

Think about it.   I go to the movies a lot.   I've seen tons of them in my life.   For this to be the very first that drove me to the exit early, this has to be pretty monumentally bad.   Especially when you consider ticket prices of $17 and up these days.

But, indeed, "Song To Song" was disastrous to epic, 9/11 proportions.   I mean, I innocently considered it because I wanted to have a nice Saturday night out.  I look at the logline and see it's about the Austin, Texas music scene and several romantic entanglements amongst its characters.   You look at the cast and you are intrigued.  Michael Fassbender.   Ryan Gosling.   Natalie Portman.  Rooney Mara.   Cate Blanchett and Holly Hunter in support.   Easy to buy in.

But I should have paid attention to the fact that the director was legendary blowhard Terrence Malick who photographs landscapes and calls them movies. To say that "Song To Song" had no plot would be an exaggeration.   There was very little dialogue as his characters simply spun out fields or puddles or apartment drapes.   

Surprise, surprise...there were four other people who left before we did.   Had we acted sooner, we could have crawled into Kong:Skull Island next door.   Too late.

As I write about this complete waste of an evening and money, I am getting even more incensed.   The less said about "Song To Song," the better.

LEN'S RATING:  Is it possible to grade a movie with less than zero stars?

Dinner last night:  Leftover franks and beans.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 20, 2017

This month we continue the tenth anniversary celebration of this blog with this classic Monday morning laugh.   Watch where you're going.

Dinner last night:  Franks and beans.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Very First Sunday Memory Drawer

Well, they had to start some time.   During this, my tenth anniversary week of my blog, I thought it would be fitting to look back at the very first time I did one of these Sunday Memory Drawers.   While those entries are certainly not up there in terms of page views (videos apparently rule), it's the Sunday pieces that earn me the nicest compliments.   People really appreciate the childhood retrospectives and can usually make comparisons of my past to their own.  

I recall how I started to do them and, frankly, this feature is only about nine years old.  The first year of the blog I did something completely different on the blog.  I would devise some list of favorites and we count down from # 25 to #1. I did my Top 25 Favorite Movies and then my Top 25 Favorite TV Shows.   I was stuck to what I could count down next.  

I had possibilities. My Top 25 Favorite Baseball Players or Games?  That was limiting and ultimately boring for a lot of readers.  Baseball tales also garner the least page views here.  My Top 25 Favorite Songs? My head would have exploded given that I can remember many a melody but nary a song title. I could go on and on and let it get sillier by the day.

Perhaps I could have done a list of My Top 25 Favorite Friends. Okay, I envisioned some problems there, especially when you're all surprised to see myself listed at #1.

I thought about what I enjoyed most about the two lists just completed. It was the memory bank that always seemed to be attached to the viewing of a film or the weekly watching of a TV show. That, for me as a writer, was the gold mined each and every week.

So, there I was with my new Sunday feature. Every week, I would take a look at my memory drawer. Something from the past that resonates with me and hopefully does the same for you. It could be something that happened when I was a kid or something that happened last week. I remember Sunday afternoons would often find me stretched out on my grandmother's couch while she rambled on about something that happened 30 years ago. 

Almost 470 Sunday Memory Drawers later, I am still reminiscing.  And today I take you back to that very first Sunday.   When my mind had wandered back to...my grandmother's kitchen pantry.

This room was a full-out treasure chest for me. Situated right off her kitchen, it was a full-sized room that had a counter where I could do homework. And there were shelves all the way up to the ceiling. Lots of places for me to hide whatever toy figurines or soldiers I was occupied with at the time. One side would hide behind the double boiler and the other would secrete themselves behind cans of Libby's vegetables. And I could hide myself in another corner and let it all play before me for hours and oodles of fun.

There were many other fringe benefits. My grandmother baked every single Saturday morning and there was usually some sort of cake or pie stored there. Pieces disappeared regularly. And, of course, her Poppin' Fresh cookie jar was always loaded with Jane Parker or Ann Page's finest chocolate chip cookies. Only the best that the local A and P had to offer. I still have that cookie jar here in LA and it's always filled. With chocolate chip cookies. The tribute that just keeps on giving.

One day, I noticed something else. My grandmother would go into the pantry, hop on a stepstool, and reach up to the very top shelf. Where apparently she was keeping some very special chocolate bars.

Hmmmm.

It didn't take many days after this discovery before I wanted to tap into this reserve myself. If my grandmother was hiding this candy, it must be damn good.

The stepstool still left me about three shelves too short for the reach. So, I essentially climbed gingerly from one shelf to another. The Wallendas had nothing on me, especially if there was a tasty treat at the end of the stunt. I got to that chocolate and munched. One piece and then another. And then another. She wouldn't miss a whole bar. I reasoned she probably had others stashed away all over the house.

And then it came. Or, in reality, there it went. About an hour later, I was sick to my stomach. And couldn't stop visiting a certain room in the house. Where I would be sitting and not standing. It was so bad that I missed two days of school and even was summoned to appear before the always feared pediatrician, Dr. Fiegoli. Nobody had any answers and I certainly didn't make the connection. Until my grandmother asked the question that begged for an answer...

"Who ate all my Ex-Lax?"
See you next Sunday.

Dinner last night:  Bacon cheeseburger at the Arclight Cafe.


Saturday, March 18, 2017

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - March 2017

One of those shows where the best part was the opening credits.

Dinner last night:  Chopped salad.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Your Weekend Movie Guide for March 2017

And another one bites the dust.   A single screen movie theater going the way of hula hoops and Silly Putty.

This one is the Regent in Westwood Village near UCLA.   Now, when I moved to LA, Westwood was the place to go for an evening out.   A great dinner and a movie in a classic cinema.   Well, the theaters now left there can be counted on one hand.   And the Regent above will be giving way to...wait for it...two new restaurants.

So where can you see a movie this weekend and feel like it's a special event?   Probably nowhere.   It might be the multiplex and the food court at the mall. Yeech.   You know the drill, folks,   I'll scoot through the movie pages and give you my gut reaction to the garbage being dumped on our cinematic doorsteps this weekend.

RIP Regent.   You will be missed.

The Sense of An Ending:   The title gives me the idea that perhaps the movie goes on too long.

Moonlight:   The disputed "Best Picture."  Well, at least, in my house.

La La Land:   The disputed runner-up to "Best Picture."  Well, at least, in my house.

The Last Word:  Recently reviewed here.   Don't believe the crummy reviews from regular critics.  Believe mine.

A United Kingdom:   Hardly.

Fences:   Watch as blowhard and dirtbag Denzel Washington literally has cinematic diarrhea.  I am not opposed to a wall.   I am opposed to these fences.

Personal Shopper:   Kristin Stewart in something from France.  Ne interested pas.

Lion:  Blog review coming.   For a Best Picture nominee, it was just okay.

Logan:   Everybody is going to see this.   I have no idea what it is.

Table 19:  A comedy about a bunch of mismatched strangers at a wedding reception.   Anna Kendrick is in it.  Yeah, I'll see it.

Kong - Skull Island:  One more time.  Except I hear that Kong isn't it enough.

The Salesman:  Won the Oscar for Best Foreign Film.   Did they FedEx the award to the director yet?

The Lego Batman Movie:   Apparently some people are never too old for Legos.

Before I Fall:  No clue what this is.   Like so many movies that Hollywood dumps out in the quiet months of March and April.

Fifty Shades Darker:   Doesn't anybody pay attention to SPF numbers any more?

Hidden Figures:   My choice for runner-up to "La La Land" for Best Picture. Shows you how much I know.

I Am Not Your Negro:   The title sounds angry.

Song to Song:  Two couples in the Austin, Texas music scene.   Didn't realize that Austin, Texas had a music scene.

Suntan:   Should be on a double bill with Fifty Shades Darker.

T2 - Trainspotting:   Nothing like a sequel that was 20 years in the making.

Mean Dreams:  I see the late Bill Paxton is in the cast.   I have no idea what it is about, but we should all probably see it.

The Last Laugh:   A documentary where comics explore what is funny.   I think I know...most comics today.

Beauty and the Beast:  Disney again cannibalizes itself with a live action version of the cartoon.  Nothing is sacred there.

All Nighter:   An LA musician battles the tough father of his girlfriend.  Dad is played by JK Simmons, who still makes me shiver from his performance in Whiplash.

Atomica:  Drama around a nuclear reactor.   What would scare if this was labeled as a comedy around a nuclear reactor.

The Belko Experiment:  Unseen forces lock a bunch of Americans in a Colombian high rise.  The real mystery should be what they're doing there in the first place.

Betting on Zero:  A documentary about global nutrition.   Not the place to order butter on your popcorn.

Contemporary Color:  Documentary on David Byrne's 2015 salute to color guards.  Seriously?

The Devil's Candy:  A new house is inhabited by evil spirits.   Yeah, they should see the idiot that clomps around above me.

Get Out:   Not a welcoming title for a movie.

Dinner last night:  Sausage and peppers.