Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - A Decade of Me

A never-before-seen look at my blog's dashboard.   This is where it all happens. And that's been the case for the past ten years.

Wednesday, March 15 will be the tenth anniversary of the very first blog entry of Len Speaks.  We've celebrated it all here before and you know the reasons why I began this.   I wanted to give myself a daily writing exercise.  I wanted to get more computer proficient.   I wanted to ultimately put ads on it as a money making device.

Blah, blah, blah.   Well, true, true, and I really haven't gotten around to the monetization thing yet.   

If you told me on March 15, 2007, that I would be still doing this daily ten years later, I would have called you insane.   But this little bit of nonsense has become a part of my life and I personally would be lost without having to, on a nightly basis, type in what I had for dinner and then set it to run at midnight the next day.

Okay, a daily writing exercise?  Ha.   Look at the picture above.   You see that I have 20 Drafts in queue.   Yes, I write in advance.   There's usually one early morning a week where I will compose five or six pieces at once.   I also do the "This Date In History" stuff way in advance.   Late last year, I actually started to repeat that Wednesday entry because I had already done that date five years ago.   But, wait, 2017 is a leap year.   Starting on March 1, I had to research all new dates never before included here.

Then there are the videos which I also store in advance.   I would be lost without the services of You Tube.   Oddly enough, videos are now the most viewed entries on here.   For some reason, the page views to these features went through the roof starting last January.   I would like to say that it's my prose and witticisms that have the largest readership here.   Alas, alack, it's the glory of watching a drunk fall down that entices my blog utilization.

The Sunday Memory Drawers have been immensely therapeutic for me.   Essentially I am writing memoirs here and I am revisiting my life in a way that makes me understand things a little better many years later.

Indeed, there is one hidden reason never before revealed of why I started this blog.

I found I was losing my voice in life.  And that's all tied to a self esteem issue I have harbored my whole life.   I realized that I always had something to say but could never voice it because I generally surround myself with people who have large personalities.   

If I am in a dialogue that is one-on-one, I am fine.   But, if there are more than three people at a dinner table, I retreat and don't bother to compete with those who have something to say.  I allow myself to get lost in all the noise, thinking that nobody wants to hear my opinion.

But that didn't mean I didn't have one.   With this blog, I found a way to say what I had to say.   Sans competition.   Sans noise.   Sans self esteem limitations.  It was either I do this blog.   Or find a whole new bunch of friends to spend time with.

You are reading the results of that decision right now.  On the tenth anniversary this Wednesday, I will post Blog Entry #3669!  Obviously, I have something to say.

That's also an awful lot of my creativity that I don't get paid for.

Hmmm.   I really need to figure out that monetization do-hickey on this blog.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions at Vito's.

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