Wednesday, December 13, 2017

This Date in History - December 13

Happy birthday to Dick Van Dyke.   Okay, here's one more genius who needs his birthday to be declared a national holiday.

1294:  SAINT CELESTINE V RESIGNS THE PAPACY AFTER ONLY FIVE MONTHS TO RETURN TO HIS PREVIOUS LIFE AS A HERMIT.

Not everybody likes all the papal bling.

1577:  SIR FRANCIS DRAKE SETS SAIL FROM PLYMOUTH, ENGLAND ON HIS ROUND-THE-WORLD VOYAGE.

With this much free time, he must be retired.

1636:  THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY ORGANIZES THREE MILITIA REGIMENTS TO DEFEND THE COLONY AGAINST THE PEQUOT INDIANS,.  THIS ORGANIZATION IS RECOGNIZED TODAY AS THE FOUNDING OF THE NATIONAL GUARD.

National Guard flows off the tongue a lot better than saying "let's call in the Massachusetts Bay Colony."

1642:  ABEL TASMAN REACHES NEW ZEALAND.

Funny.   He just went out for a pack of cigarettes.

1769:  DARTMOUTH COLLEGE IS FOUNDED.

When does the gift shop open for sweat shirts?

1818:  FIRST LADY MARY TODD LINCOLN IS BORN.

Later on, there will be a night at the theater she will not enjoy.

1862:  AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - AT THE BATTLE OF FREDERICKSBURG, CONFEDERATE ROBERT E. LEE DEFEATS UNION GENERAL AMBROSE BURNSIDE.

Hey, let's erect a statue...oh, never mind.

1908:  ACTOR VAN HEFLIN IS BORN.

The plane bomber in "Airport."

1925:  ACTOR DICK VAN DYKE IS BORN.

Going strong at 92.

1928:  GEORGE GERSHWIN'S "AN AMERICAN IN PARIS" IS FIRST PERFORMED.

Not one of my favorite MGM musicals.

1934:  FILM PRODUCER RICHARD ZANUCK IS BORN.

And died in 2012, which means Van Dyke beat him on both ends.

1936:  BASEBALL PLAYER J.C. MARTIN IS BORN.

The New York Met famous for running out of the first baseline.

1938:  THE HOLOCAUST - THE NEUENGAMME CONCENTRATION CAMP OPENS IN HAMBURG, GERMANY.

Gee, this shit started a lot earlier than I thought.

1941:  WORLD WAR II - THE KINGDOMS OF HUNGARY AND ROMANIA DECLARE WAR ON THE US.

Oh, yeah, now I'm scared.

1941:  SINGER JOHN DAVIDSON IS BORN.

I wonder how much hair he had at birth.

1945:  POLITICIAN HERMAN CAIN IS BORN.

I wonder which parent ultimately raised Cain.  Ouch.

1949:  THE KNESSET VOTES TO MOVE THE CAPITAL OF ISRAEL TO JERUSALEM.

I'd like a potato knesset please.   Oh, wait, I read that wrong.

1950:  ACTRESS WENDIE MALICK IS BORN.

Wow, older than I thought.  Luke Warm in Cleveland.

1960:  WHILE EMPEROR HAILE SELASSIE OF ETHIOPIA VISITS BRAZIL, HIS IMPERIAL BODYGUARD SEIZES THE CAPITAL AND PROCLAIMS HIM DEPOSED AND HIS SON BECOMES EMPEROR.

That's why world leaders should never go on vacation.

1961:  PAINTER GRANDMA MOSES DIES.

At 101.   Nobody call this passing premature.

1972:  APOLLO SPACE PROGRAM - EUGENE CERNAN AND HARRISON SCHMITT BEGIN THEIR FINAL MOONWALK OF APOLLO 17.   TO DATE THEY ARE THE LAST HUMANS TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.

Does that include Alice Kramden?

1977:  AIR INDIANA FLIGHT 216 CRASHES NEAR EVANSVILLE, KILLING 29, INCLUDING THE UNIVERSITY OF EVANSVILLE BASKETBALL TEAM.

Game cancelled.

1988:  PLO CHAIRMAN YASSER ARAFAT GIVES A SPEECH AT A UN GENERAL ASSEMBLY MEETING IN SWITZERLAND AFTER US AUTHORITIES REFUSED TO GRANT HIM A VISA TO VISIT UN HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK.

A travel ban and Trump is nowhere to be found.

2003:  FORMER IRAQI PRESIDENT SADDAM HUSSEIN IS CAPTURED NEAR HIS HOME TOWN.

Well, he had a good run.

2016:  ACTOR ALAN THICKE DIES.

Jeez, has it been a year already?

Dinner last night:  Had a long travel day back to LA.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Goodbye, Dolly

Well, it will be in about six weeks and that's what makes my review of the "new" Broadway show so utterly useless.  Oh, the show at the Shubert Theater is not closing but stars Bette Midler and David Hyde Pierce are and they're the main reasons to see this spectacular production.

Hey, I'm one of the lucky ones who once got to see the Dolly originator, Carol Channing, do the role in a revival about twenty years ago.  But, with the placement of the Divine Miss M as Dolly Levi, they finally got the casting right.  Dolly is an old Jewish busybody now being played by Bette Midler, also an old Jewish busybody.  Add to the mix the legendary comic brilliance of David Hyde Pierce as Horace Vandergelder and you have a show that, perhaps for the first time since the original opened in 1964, is finally perfect.

Now don't rush out there and buy tickets.   They were all gone at the box office prices way back in February.   The only availability is on Stub Hub with a mark-up that sometimes rivals the national debt.  But, if you want to go by yourself, there are isolated single deals to be made and I finally managed to do that last week.   Hey, why do you need somebody to go to a show with?  You read the Playbill before it starts.   You don't talk during the production.   You can easily go by yourself if need be.

Like I said, this rendition of "Hello Dolly" is like seeing the show for the first time because the leads are so ideal.  At my performance, Midler's singing voice seemed a little scratchy to me.  Luckily, with a twenty minute intermission and the fact that Dolly doesn't make her Act Two entrance at the Harmonia Gardens until about twenty minutes in, Bette was able to take a nice long breather in the middle of the evening and it paid off.  The second half of the show was electric.
Of course, the piece de resistance is the "Hello Dolly" production number and it shines brightly here.   It goes on for about ten minutes, gets a rousing standing ovation, and then continues on with an encore for another five minutes.  In the middle of it all, Midler hams it up appropriately and she loves doing it as much as the audience loves seeing it.   

Bette works just the right amount of her usual "shtick" with clever asides to the audience and her attempts to break up her co-star Pierce (who did snicker a bit when I saw it).  But, the good news is that she never completely crosses the line of turning this into a joke.   The show always stays on the right track and the result is pure nirvana for the audience.
It should be no surprise to those who loved David Hyde Pierce's work on "Frasier" that his comic timing is equally exquisite as Vandergelder.   He manages to keep up with Midler every step of the way and he never ever becomes simply part of the background.  The same goes for the rest of the exquisite casting, especially Tony-Award-winning Gavin Creel as Cornelius.  There's not a weak link in the chain.

Meanwhile, the closing curtain call is all that you can expect from a curtain call and the adulation is real and deserved.  And no, my seat wasn't this close and this is not my video.

If it was still last April, I'd tell you to run out and get tickets for "Hello Dolly." Well, I guess you still can before Midler leaves and Bernadette Peters takes over in January. But be prepared to pay a fortune. 

Or simply go by yourself.   You don't need somebody else to experience this once-in-a-lifetime Broadway miracle.

Dinner last night:  Turkey burger at the Cheesecake Factory.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 11, 2017

This scene from "National Lampoon's Christmas" never ever gets old.

Dinner last night:  Had a big brunch so nothing really.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Christmas Movies I Have Watched and Loved

It's back.   My annual holiday service to you.   And don't we all need a break today?  One more year and one more Sunday for me to push these wonderful holiday-themed movies.

Maybe the weather outside is frightful.  Or you're wrapping presents.  Baking cookies.  You might want to multi-task by watching one of these movie suggestions.  They're all available on DVD.  And Turner Classic Movies shows several of them every year. 

These are my 10 must-watch movies for every Christmas.  And please note that "Miracle on 34th Street,"  "It's A Wonderful Life," and "A Christmas Story" are not included.  Don't get me wrong.  They are all terrific films, but played to death everywhere but in my house.  These movies all have personal connections to me in some shape or form.  So, if you disagree, I hope there's some coal mixed in with your buttered popcorn.
1.  I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" in a theater for the very first time two years ago.  They dragged out co-star June Lockhart for a post-film question-and-answer.  Ironically, most of the people were there to ask her all about the TV show "Lost in Space."  Hell, I want to know what Angela Cartwright is doing myself.  

None of that has anything to do with how wonderful a holiday treat this movie is.  Truth be told, Christmas only makes up one-quarter of the movie as it follows the Smith family through one whole year prior to the opening of the St. Louis World Fair in 1904.  Each portion is devoted to a calendar season and Christmas dominates the winter as it should.  

The scene where a dateless Judy Garland has to dance with her grandfather at the big Christmas Eve ball is priceless.  He twirls her around the Christmas tree and she magically reappears with her beau who was late in arriving.  One of those very simple cinematic moments that only director Vincente Minnelli could turn into pure gold.  

Of course, this is the film that sports my very favorite Christmas song..."Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."   If you've heard countless versions of this ditty, you need to listen to the very best rendition by Miss Garland.

I remember watching "Meet Me in St. Louis" with my mom when I was about seven or eight.  In the middle of it all, she blurts out "if you had been a girl, I was going to name you Judy."

Okay.   So, there's that. 
2.  This is a mid-40s classic from the Warner Brothers back lot. In fact, they don't even get off a soundstage. For a movie from that era, it is still surprisingly modern. Because star Barbara Stanwyck plays a character very similar to Martha Stewart. A magazine writer who specializes in being an expert on hearth and home. And supposedly the greatest cook on the planet.

Her publisher hits on a publicity stunt where Stanwyck will provide a home-cooked Christmas meal for an injured soldier. Except nobody knows the woman can't cook and hasn't got one single domestic talent. The plot spins out into several directions from there, but it is all delicious screwball-y fun. And any movie that features S.Z "Cuddles" Sakall is okay in my book. This is a perfect film to watch while wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve day.  Or if you're finished off a quart of egg nog.   With popularity of the Food Network, this movie should be remade.   I want to work on that script now.
3.  This is technically not a Christmas movie, but it should be, since all the action happens around the holidays. This 1941 movie is another one that never leaves a Warner Brothers soundstage, but it really doesn't have to. You may know that this was originally a big hit on Broadway as written by Moss Hart and George S. Kaufman. And two members of that cast, Monty Wooley and Mary Wickes, reprise their roles in the movie, which features the most razor sharp dialogue ever captured on celluloid. 

There's not one unclever moment in the entire six reels. Who can't identify with the holiday guest who just won't leave? In this case, it's renowed critic and lecturer Sheridan Whiteside, who sprains his ankle and then sets up camp in somebody else's house for the holidays. As portrayed by Wooley, Whiteside is loosely based on Alexander Woolcott and he has one great barb after another. He's described this way: "He would have his mother burned at the stake if that was the only way he could light his cigarette." I wish people talked like these characters in real life. 

When Whiteside's nurse (Mary Wickes) forbids him from eating some candy, he retorts, "My great Aunt Jennifer ate a box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be one hundred and two, and when she had been dead for three days, she looked better than you do now." If that's not enough, throw in the fact that this is the only movie in history that co-starred Bette Davis and Jimmy Durante! Grab a box of your own candy and savor this great Christmas treat.

4.  Yeah, yeah, I know.   An obvious choice.  And, gee, Len, isn't this movie shown to death already?  Sadly, "White Christmas" is starting to fall in that category---the Christmas movie that is starting to look like your tree on January 15.  Dried out and ready for the dumpster.  You can thank some cable networks like the woefully annoying AMC for playing it over and over and over.  

Gee, thanks, idiots.  Because you're destroying another movie that landed on the list of my Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time at slot #23.  Sure, after repeated viewings, this film starts to look like "Off White Christmas."  But, miraculously, recent digital restorations have made this look glorious all over again.  All of a sudden, it's the hot and in thing to run this movie in theaters.   Try to see it on the big screen if you can.  The Aero Theater in Santa Monica runs it every December and I plan to be there one more.  But if you can't experience it on a large screen, the Blu Ray edition will do.  I'd be happy to loan you mine.

Right from the moment that Paramount's Vistavision logo exploded onto the screen to the last frames of the movie when the Pine Tree Lodge is celebrating a snowy Christmas Eve, I was moved to tears all over again.  Just like the very first time I saw it about 26 years ago.  When I was having a pretty crappy holiday and this boosted my spirits like a Vitamin B-12 injection. 

I had both my parents housed in separate hospitals with illnesses. Unfortunately, my dad was in the final stages of his cancer and this year would be his last Christmas. My mom was sequestered elsewhere dealing with one more smoke-provoked bronchial episode. I spent the holiday season shuttling between semi-private rooms located on opposite ends of Westchester. And I felt incredibly alone.

"White Christmas" gave me a little bit of hope and brightness for some darker days that would come. And it still shines for me every year.  Plus it's my second "must watch" holiday film featuring Mary Wickes.
5.  Yeah, yeah, you've never heard of it.  I did list it as #25 on my list of Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time, but perhaps you missed that entry.  And you say it's not a Christmas movie??

Oh, pish and tosh.  The film opens and ends on Christmas day one year later.  Good enough for me.  And it embodies everything that Christmas is all about.

"Since You Went Away" came out in 1944 and it is 100% devoted to the homefront during WWII. For what "Mrs. Miniver" and "Hope and Glory" did for the London bombings (and I have a good friend who lived through that), "Since You Went Away" wonderfully depicts life in the United States when most men were overseas someplace and completely out of touch with their family and loved ones. David O. Selznick produced it and hoped to do for World War II what his earlier effort "Gone With the Wind" did for the Civil War. Yes, it's almost three hours long, but it sails by and, for me, is a big screen version of the best macaroni and cheese you can ever eat.

Claudette Colbert plays the mother of Jennifer Jones and Shirley Temple (here, she's a teenager and Bill Robinson-less). The family is semi-well-to-do and lives in Everytown, USA. Hattie McDaniel, who was obviously highlighted in Selznick's phone book for all servant roles, is their housekeeper and there is not a single stereotypical note to her performance. You never see the father as he has just left for active duty on Christmas Eve as the film opens. What follows is a year in the life of the Hilton family with Dad gone.

You visit USO dances. You experience food rationing and scrap metal drives. You watch as neighbors lose loved ones in battle and then sense the uneasiness as others in the community grapple to find the right words to comfort them. It is probably the truest picture of life in our country as that war raged on in Europe and the South Pacific. The courage. The resiliency. The dread. It is all here in this terrific slice of Americana.

I came to see this movie for the first time about 20 years ago. I've probably seen it once a year ever since and always during Christmas week.  For me, it is a annual reminder of my grandmother, who was a mother during World War II. And she shared virtually all of the stories that are portrayed on screen. On cold winter Sunday afternoons, I would sit in her living room and hear about rationing and community dances and the fear that wrapped around you when a letter from the government arrived in the mail. She lost a son in France in 1945---I was named after him. This movie gives me more than a history lesson. It gives me back my grandmother one more time.

"Since You Went Away" turns up on Turner Classic Movies. It is worth three hours of your time. I defy you not to well up at the end of Act 1 or just prior to the finale. I double defy you.

6.  Forget "Elf" and any other Yuletide crap that Hollywood has passed off the last few years. The best Christmas movie to be produced in the last ten or so years is "Love Actually." It's one of those ultra-episodic scripts where about 15 characters have different storylines that may or may not be connected. It's a little confusing at first, as you meet practically the entire London phone book. But, hang on and you will get a wonderful present. 

Sure, there are about five characters and three storylines too many. But, they will scoot by quickly and you can revel in the more compelling tales. Laura Linney as a single woman who can't commit to any romance. Liam Neeson who is trying to be a parent to his young stepson as they both experience their first Noel without the recently-died Mom. The shaky marriage between Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson, who breaks your heart as she listens to a Joni Mitchell CD version of "Both Sides Now." I even liked Hugh Grant as a Tony Blair-like British Prime Minister. And there is a rendition of "All I Want for Christmas is You" that gives you goose bumps. If you've ever wanted to spend Christmas in London, this is the ideal virtual way to do so.
7.  Okay, what's a Christmas without one Disney cartoon?  And this one is the best in my book.  Because it was my mother's favorite cartoon.  Curiously, I don't remember seeing it with her on one of the many Disney re-issues over the years.  But, when it came out on...wait for it...VHS several decades ago, I bought it and we watched it together one Christmas afternoon.  Suddenly, I was the child again and Mom was the parent again.  Indeed, as always happens with aging folks, the dynamic had reversed.  But, not on this day.  Thank you, Lady and the Tramp, for one of the very last good and lasting memories of my mom.
8.  And then there's Christmas with Dad.  Here's the movie that connects me to him every December.  And, no worries.  This rollicking World War II comedy has a set piece that happens on Christmas Day when Tony Curtis is trying to steal some Polynesian farmer's pig for dinner.  But, moreover, this is the movie that I remember hearing my father laughing out loud for the very first time.

I know I saw it with him in a theater.  I do believe it played at the RKO Proctors in Mount Vernon, New York around Christmas time.  This may have been the way that I was shuttled out of the house for a few hours so that Mom could wrap my presents.  A lot of the ribald gags might have gone over my head.  But I didn't care.

My dad was convulsed with laughter.  And this was not a sight I saw frequently.  Plus there was one line that he repeated over and over and over when we got home.

"Can this submarine go down?"

"Like a rock."

For some reason, Dad loved that exchange.  Meanwhile, I did the same thing with this film when it came out many years ago on....wait for it again...VHS.  I watched it with my father one holiday season. 

He still laughed.
9.  Okay, truth be told, I don't watch "Ben-Hur" every year.   Since I'm already devoting three hours to "Since You Went Away," I'm not sure I have the time to view this three-hour-plus epic.  But, frequently, I can hear the voices in my head.  Most notably that of my mother, who used to drag me to every Biblical movie ever made.  She may not have gone to church, but she sure did run to the theater every time Charlton Heston appeared in a gladiator outfit.  Oddly enough, this was not one of the movies she took me to.

But then there was one holiday season where Judah Ben-Hur and I finally crossed paths.

On December 30, 1987, I tripped on my sneaker laces coming out of my bathroom.  Falling forward, I landed on my right arm with pain so severe that it actually made me laugh.  Nevertheless, I still headed out for the evening, totally ignorant of the fact that I had fractured the rotator cuff in my right shoulder.

I was less ignorant in the morning when the excruciating pain and a neighbor drove me to the emergency room.


Happy F-ing New Year!

I couldn't raise a glass of cheer, because I could barely raise a pencil. So, I was cooped up for the frivolity. And, to get my mind off my chipped bones, I decided to rent the longest movie I could find at the video store. That would be the 1959 rendition of "Ben-Hur," which I had surprisingly never seen. And, so I sat in front of a 19 inch television, arm in a sling and watching, for the first time, one of the biggest and successful epics Hollywood had ever made. It was probably the worst way to sample this film. And I certainly have seen it several times since in much better viewing conditions. But, I can't say that I have enjoyed it more than I did that very first time.

"Ben-Hur" is total validation that, at one isolated point in the fixed universe, Charlton Heston could really act. For a movie that is so large in scope and long in running time, "Ben-Hur" is an incredibly intimate story. Because, indeed, it's about one man's spiritual awakening.


Many of the movie's sequences are so legendary that all I have to do is simply mention them and you can conjure up an immediate image. The ship's galley. The chariot race. The leper colony. But, for me, the most memorable scenes are the ones where Judah Ben-Hur encounters Jesus Christ. The first time finds a beaten Judah, enslaved in a road gang, and a traveling Jesus gives him a drink of water. Many reels later, Judah returns the favor when Christ falls in front of him while carrying the cross to his own crucifixion. The symmetry of those two points in the movie is truly amazing and wonderfully choreographed by director William Wyler.

Of course, this was in the day when Hollywood worked hard to never show Jesus Christ's face on camera. Today, they probably would have no shame and they'd probably even cast Tyler Perry in the part.

You can't truly appreciate "Ben-Hur" until you see it on a big screen. And a wide one. A really wide one like the Egyptian Theater had several years back when I saw it there.   But the Blu-Ray on the 42 inch-screen in my living room last year wasn't bad either. 

And my arm wasn't in a sling.
10.  Okay, one more and I'm saving the best for last.  Truth be told, I watch "The Apartment" every year during the week between Christmas and New Year's.  Both those holidays are featured in the film, but it's the really organic blend of comedy and drama that makes it perfect for the post-Christmas doldrums.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will be moved.  It is life itself and that's why "The Apartment" is my #1 favorite movie of all time.  To understand it is to understand what we all deal with every single day.

There's no magical story why I am so connected to this film.  I did not see "The Apartment" till well after I got out of college. Now, it's one I see every year. It is an essential part of my annual film viewing. But, every time I see it, there is some new emotion or nuance that reveals itself to me. Perhaps it's a look or gesture from Shirley McLaine or Fred MacMurray that I missed. Maybe it's a line of dialogue that I suddenly realize was set up by another line of dialogue one reel earlier. There's always some new discovery for me.

And maybe it will be a discovery for you.  As well as the rest of the movies on this list.  Sure to bring holiday cheer...and even a tear...to your Christmas festivities.  Watch them with friends and family.  Watch them alone.

Just watch them.   And, if the Christmas tree lights are twinkling in the background, even better.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions at Carlo's.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Classic Newsreel of the Month - December 2017

Christmas around the world.

Dinner last night:  Szechwan beef at PF Chang's.

Friday, December 8, 2017

Christmas Albums You Don't Have...Or Want












Dinner last night:  Chicken cordon bleu at Playwright Grill before Hello Dolly.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

It's Christmas Time on My Blog

It's time for my annual holiday housekeeping in Blogland.

We celebrate Christmas on this site.   If you're looking for a more generic look at the holiday season, you won't find it here.   If you want to embrace Kwanzaa, go see if Jesse Jackson has a blog.  Since this process involves putting two coherent sentences together, I would doubt it.
This blog is almost eleven years old and we've been through a lot of Christmases together.  So, as a tradition, I will be rerunning some of my favorite Yuletide pieces of the past.  No, I'm not getting lazy.  But, during this month, I am a little busier than usual.  I will be in New York for a week doing the season with my East Coast friends.  In general, there's egg nog and other adult beverages.   

So, in an attempt to make sure there is something posted here every day, you will see some repeat entries.   I will try to refresh most of them where possible.   You'll be seeing again my "salute" to Christmas songs.   My listing of Christmas movies that you need to watch.   And there might be an old Sunday Memory Drawer or two.

That said, you'll still be laughing.  Or maybe laughing for a second and third time.  Hell, if you can watch Linus doing that reading from the Gospel of Mark a few dozen times, you certainly can read some of my best stuff once more.

A lot of this month's blog entries are already written and in the can.   If there is such a thing as a virtual can.  This allows me to take some time off and enjoy the holidays.  As a matter of fact, my Wednesday history lesson is already done right through to the middle of February.  One does what one has to do to keep this damn thing rolling.

So, bear with us.  Wait, I mean bear with me.  I don't have a staff putting this together.  It's just little old me.   Even Santa had elves.  And I'm thinking Mrs. Claus got shoved into the assembly line from time to time.  There will be fun and games here.  So what if some of it was written last month?   Or maybe four or five years ago?

Merry, merry Christmas.  We'll see you for some glad and funny tidings tomorrow.

Dinner last night:  Had a huge lunch so nothing really.  

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

This Date in History - December 6

Happy birthday to Jobeth Williams, who turned down the role of "Murphy Brown."   I wonder if you can still see the bruises where she kicks herself.

1060:  BELA I IS CROWNED KING OF HUNGARY.

Where number was Lugosi?

1648:  COLONEL THOMAS PRIDE OF THE NEW MODEL ARMY PURGES THE LONG PARLIAMENT OF MPs SYMPATHETIC TO KING CHARLES I OF ENGLAND, IN ORDER FOR THE KING'S TRIAL TO GO AHEAD, CAME TO BE KNOWN AS "PRIDE'S PURGE."

Pride's Purge sounds like the name of one of those supermarket brands of canned peas.

1768:  THE FIRST EDITION OF THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA IS PUBLISHED.

Look that up.

1790:  THE US CONGRESS MOVES FROM NEW YORK CITY TO PHILADELPHIA.

Back when you actually paid attention to Congress.

1865:  THE 13TH AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION IS RATIFIED, BANNING SLAVERY.

There are some in 2017 who think this never happened.

1877:  THE FIRST EDITION OF THE WASHINGTON POST IS PUBLISHED.

Now known as the Washington Compost.

1884:  THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT IS COMPLETED.

An erection that did not need Viagra.

1886:  POET JOYCE KILMER IS BORN.

Plant this.

1889:  CONFEDERATE PRESIDENT JEFFERSON DAVIS DIES.

I assume there are no statues left, right?

1897:  LONDON BECOMES THE WORLD'S FIRST CITY TO HOST LICENSED TAXICABS.

Too easy to make an Uber joke?

1900:  ACTRESS AGNES MOOREHEAD IS BORN.

Endora on "Bewitched."

1904:  THEODORE ROOSEVELT ARTICULATED HIS COROLLARY TO THE MONROE DOCTRINE, STATING THAT THE US WOULD INTERVENE IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE SHOULD LATIN AMERICAN GOVERNMENTS PROVE INCAPABLE OR UNSTABLE.

Regretting this now.

1917:  FINLAND DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM RUSSIA.

Fin-ally.

1917:  HALIFAX EXPLOSION - A MUNITIONS EXPLOSION NEAR HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA KILLS MORE THAN 1,900 PEOPLE IN THE LARGEST ARTIFICIAL EXPLOSION UP TO THAT TIME.

Hardly artificial to me.

1924:  ACTOR WALLY COX IS BORN.

The Hollywood Square on the top left.

1933:  US FEDERAL JUDGE JOHN WOOLSEY RULES THAT JAMES JOYCE'S NOVEL "ULYSSES" IS NOT OBSCENE.

I'll bet he never read between pages 20-30 of "The Godfather."

1941:  MURDERER RICHARD SPECK IS BORN/

Insert your favorite eight student nurses joke here.

1947:  THE EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK IN FLORIDA IS DEDICATED.

After the last hurricane, half of Miami looked like a swamp.

1948:  ACTRESS JOBETH WILLIAMS IS BORN.

And still kicking herself for turning down "Murphy Brown."

1953:  VLADIMIR NABOKOV COMPLETES HIS CONTROVERSIAL NOVEL "LOLITA."

Sweet sixteen...and then some.

1956:  A VIOLENT WATER POLO MATCH BETWEEN HUNGARY AND THE USSR TAKES PLACE DURING THE 1956 SUMMER OLYMPICS IN MELBOURNE.

How violent can water polo get?

1967:  ADRIAN KANTROWITZ PERFORMS THE FIRST HUMAN HEART TRANSPLANT IN THE US.

I don't see the letters "MD."   WTF!!

1973:  THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES CONFIRMS GERALD FORD AS VICE PRESIDENT OF THE US.

Don't get comfortable.   You'll be changing addresses again soon.

1977:  SOUTH AFRICA GRANTS INDEPENDENCE TO BOPHUTHATSWANA, ALTHOUGH IT IS NOT RECOGNIZED BY ANY OTHER COUNTRY.

Probably because nobody else could pronounce it.

1985:  PUPPETEER BURR TILLSTROM DIES.

Kukla, Fran, and Dead.

1989:  ACTRESS FRANCES BAVIER DIES.

Aunt Bee was found dead at home with 14 cats.   I'm gagging as I write this.

1989:  ACTOR JOHN PAYNE DIES.

I wonder how many times he got confused with John Wayne.

1993:  ACTOR DON AMECHE DIES.

He won the Oscar for "Cocoon" and then died a few years later.  So there.

1996:  NFL COMMISSIONER PETE ROZELLE DIES.

Aw, he missed the January 1997 Super Bowl.

2000:  ACTOR WERNER KLEMPERER DIES.

Hogan!!!

2006:  NASA REVEALS PHOTOGRAPHS SUGGESTING THE PRESENCE OF LIQUID WATER ON MARS.

Well, Martians need to hydrate, too.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich at the NY apartment.






Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Moron of the Month - December 2017

Oh, I bet you thought the December Moron was going to be Matt Lauer.  Or Louis CK.  Or Kevin Spacey.  Or Garrison Keillor.

Nope, too easy and frankly, I am getting bored with all that news.   Of course, if some bigger names come to fruition as I predict, I'll be all ears.

You're looking above at the crack pot Elizabeth Warren, the screwball senator from Massachusetts, which is a statement that is redundant.   I mean, how could anybody from Massachusetts not be a screwball?

Truth be told, I pay little attention to the news these days.   It's all ridiculous and totally filtered by whichever outlet you are getting it front.   So I'm not up on President Trump's latest dastardly tweets.   I wasn't up on Obama's tweets either.   They all stink.

But one didn't manage to get through to my brain.  It was one where Trump referred to the idiot Warren as "Pochahontas."   That caused everybody on one side of the aisle to go ballistic, but, let's face it, somebody political seems to be going ballistic every hour on the hour.

I was curious enough to dig into the Indian reference to see what all the fuss was about.  And, as I learned on-line...

From 1986 to 1995, Warren listed herself as a racial minority in some directory of law professors.   Seriously?

Well, when this was publicized in early 2012, it sparked a controversy, further fueled by the fact that Harvard Law School had publicly touted Warren as a "woman of color" law professor, in response to criticisms about a lack of faculty diversity.   Seriously?

Warren defended her listing as a racial minority in the directories (which did not specify which racial minority one was) by stating that she was Native American. She stated that she was unaware about Harvard touting her as a woman of color hire.

Yes, seriously.

I'm not unaware to how some of this works in the marketplace.  Warren is not the first person to pull some sort of shenanigans like this.  I once inherited a female employee through a merger and it was clear to me that she was not going to make the cut.   So, as I amassed the proper documentation to get her terminated, I ran across her original employment application.

For ethnicity, she wrote "Hispanic."

Yep. 

The only problem is this chick, who hailed from Hawaii, was about as Hispanic as I am.  She had leveraged herself into a job.

I am guessing Warren did the same.   Now this clown fancies herself as the new queen of the Liberals and likely wants to run for President in 2020, despite the fact that she will be in her early 70s by then.

I say that, before she mounts her campaign, she follow the procedures of this infomercial I have seen from Ancestry.com.   She can spit into a cup and we can find out just how much of a Native American she is.

My guess is that the results will show Elizabeth Warren to be one heap big liar.

Woo hoo.

Dinner last night:  Leftover sausage, peppers, and onions.


Monday, December 4, 2017

Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 4, 2017

Santa needs a new belt for Christmas.



Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, onions, and tomatoes.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Revisiting The Dick Van Dyke Show

It's amazing how these memory trains get started.

A few weeks back, I saw the new documentary about the legendary Rose Marie.  "Wait For Your Laugh."    I reviewed it here last Thursday with mucho accolades.   

Meanwhile, one memory jag leads to another and I found myself very quickly immersed again in reruns of the "Dick Van Dyke Show."   Now I've got the entire series on DVD, but I rarely drag that off the shelf.  But I'm also now a Hulu subscriber and the series is two keystrokes away on my tablet.   

And I am sucked in all over again.

Oddly, the show had also come up in conversation a few weeks ago when I was temporarily housing a young actor on our project.  In my conversations with him, I became painfully aware of how the new generations are not finding this show.   Or the folks in it.  He shook his head when I mentioned both Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore.

"Who?"

D'oh.  

As his punishment, I made him sit down and watch an episode which he found amusing.   Actually and almost inexplicably, he laughed the most at neighbor Millie Halper played by the late Ann Morgan Guilbert.

As I have now climbed back into a "Dick Van Dyke Show" binge, I thought of the generations sadly unfamiliar with this program.   And how important it was to me when I was a member of the so-called new generation.

"The Dick Van Dyke Show" made me feel like an adult. It made me smarter. It made me want to write. It made me laugh. And it made me funnier.

And I wasn't even a teenager yet. 

Actually, while I watched it as a tyke, I didn't really get to appreciate it until it went into reruns after its initial network run. When it first aired, "The DVD Show" was on Wednesday nights, right after "The Beverly Hillbillies," another favorite that I watched religiously with my grandmother. But, after Jed and Granny went off, my grandmother didn't join me in watching Van Dyke and the gang. She would go off to do other things: wash the dentures, pull down the bedspread, or have a nip of Black Berry schnappes if she needed to settle her stomach. She didn't care for the Petries and I never knew why.

Until I finally got the show myself years later. Because, while there were tons of wonderful slapstick, "The DVD Show" was one you had to listen to. Carefully. Because it was rapid fire dialogue that might have gone a little too fast for my grandmother.

Hmm.

On my list of Top 25 Favorite TV Shows, we are heading into a very sitcom-populated territory, and, indeed, each and every one of them forms a lot of me today. Each one was just another writing class. And "The DVD Show," ranked at #16 on my list, was essentially Sitcom 101 for me.


There are some episodes that stand out for me more than others and I dip into the complete DVD set at least once a year to sample them anew. The one where Laura gets her toe stuck in the bathtub faucet. The walnut dream episode where Mary Tyler Moore comes sliding out of the closet. Or the show when Rob thinks he took the wrong baby home from the hospital. And the one where Laura, on national television, reveals that boss Alan Brady is bald.   This is the one I screened for my young actor friend.  Check out the chemistry in the closing scene of this episode.   Brilliance on multiple levels.


There is one episode, however, that has never been seen by me again. It's the one where they throw a birthday party for little Ritchie. When I first saw it, I thought it was awful. Had there been a complete shift in writers? The energy was completely off. The acting was terrible. The live audience was replaced by canned laughter. I never could understand how this mess was actually part of this series.

Until years later. When I learned this particular episode was filmed on Tuesday, November 26, 1963. The day after the funeral for President John F. Kennedy.

Great television can be more than just entertaining. In this one case, it's a reflection of American history.

All of this because I saw a new documentary.   Come on, kids, get with it.   Check out "The Dick Van Dyke Show."

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just some popcorn at the movies.