Friday, March 17, 2017

Your Weekend Movie Guide for March 2017

And another one bites the dust.   A single screen movie theater going the way of hula hoops and Silly Putty.

This one is the Regent in Westwood Village near UCLA.   Now, when I moved to LA, Westwood was the place to go for an evening out.   A great dinner and a movie in a classic cinema.   Well, the theaters now left there can be counted on one hand.   And the Regent above will be giving way to...wait for it...two new restaurants.

So where can you see a movie this weekend and feel like it's a special event?   Probably nowhere.   It might be the multiplex and the food court at the mall. Yeech.   You know the drill, folks,   I'll scoot through the movie pages and give you my gut reaction to the garbage being dumped on our cinematic doorsteps this weekend.

RIP Regent.   You will be missed.

The Sense of An Ending:   The title gives me the idea that perhaps the movie goes on too long.

Moonlight:   The disputed "Best Picture."  Well, at least, in my house.

La La Land:   The disputed runner-up to "Best Picture."  Well, at least, in my house.

The Last Word:  Recently reviewed here.   Don't believe the crummy reviews from regular critics.  Believe mine.

A United Kingdom:   Hardly.

Fences:   Watch as blowhard and dirtbag Denzel Washington literally has cinematic diarrhea.  I am not opposed to a wall.   I am opposed to these fences.

Personal Shopper:   Kristin Stewart in something from France.  Ne interested pas.

Lion:  Blog review coming.   For a Best Picture nominee, it was just okay.

Logan:   Everybody is going to see this.   I have no idea what it is.

Table 19:  A comedy about a bunch of mismatched strangers at a wedding reception.   Anna Kendrick is in it.  Yeah, I'll see it.

Kong - Skull Island:  One more time.  Except I hear that Kong isn't it enough.

The Salesman:  Won the Oscar for Best Foreign Film.   Did they FedEx the award to the director yet?

The Lego Batman Movie:   Apparently some people are never too old for Legos.

Before I Fall:  No clue what this is.   Like so many movies that Hollywood dumps out in the quiet months of March and April.

Fifty Shades Darker:   Doesn't anybody pay attention to SPF numbers any more?

Hidden Figures:   My choice for runner-up to "La La Land" for Best Picture. Shows you how much I know.

I Am Not Your Negro:   The title sounds angry.

Song to Song:  Two couples in the Austin, Texas music scene.   Didn't realize that Austin, Texas had a music scene.

Suntan:   Should be on a double bill with Fifty Shades Darker.

T2 - Trainspotting:   Nothing like a sequel that was 20 years in the making.

Mean Dreams:  I see the late Bill Paxton is in the cast.   I have no idea what it is about, but we should all probably see it.

The Last Laugh:   A documentary where comics explore what is funny.   I think I know...most comics today.

Beauty and the Beast:  Disney again cannibalizes itself with a live action version of the cartoon.  Nothing is sacred there.

All Nighter:   An LA musician battles the tough father of his girlfriend.  Dad is played by JK Simmons, who still makes me shiver from his performance in Whiplash.

Atomica:  Drama around a nuclear reactor.   What would scare if this was labeled as a comedy around a nuclear reactor.

The Belko Experiment:  Unseen forces lock a bunch of Americans in a Colombian high rise.  The real mystery should be what they're doing there in the first place.

Betting on Zero:  A documentary about global nutrition.   Not the place to order butter on your popcorn.

Contemporary Color:  Documentary on David Byrne's 2015 salute to color guards.  Seriously?

The Devil's Candy:  A new house is inhabited by evil spirits.   Yeah, they should see the idiot that clomps around above me.

Get Out:   Not a welcoming title for a movie.

Dinner last night:  Sausage and peppers.

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