Happy birthday, Stephen Sondheim. A Broadway genius.
238: GORDIAN I AND HIS SON GORDIAN II ARE PROCLAIMED ROMAN EMPERORS.
Having co-leaders of a country never works.
1508: FERDINAND II OF ARAGON COMMISSIONS AMERIGO VESPUCCI CHIEF NAVIGATOR OF THE SPANISH EMPIRE.
Hopefully with an expense account.
1622: JAMESTOWN MASSACRE - ALGONQUIAN INDIANS KILL 347 ENGLISH SETTLERS AROUND JAMESTOWN, VIRGINIA DURING THE SECOND ANGLO-POWHATAN WAR.
Powhatan sounds like a perfect name for a future Indian casino.
1630: THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY OUTLAWS THE POSSESSION OF CARDS, DICE, AND GAMING TABLES.
So there goes the casino idea.
1638: ANNE HUTCHINSON IS EXPELLED FROM MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY FOR RELIGIOUS DISSENT.
Meanwhile, her Westchester County parkway is one of the worst roads to drive in the nation.
1765: THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT PASSES THE STAMP ACT THAT INTRODUCES A TAX TO BE LEVIED DIRECTLY ON ITS AMERICAN COLONIES.
And we've been nailed ever since.
1784: THE EMERALD BUDDHA IS MOVED WITH GREAT CEREMONY TO ITS CURRENT LOCATION IN THAILAND.
I've got a take-out menu for Emerald Buddha somewhere in this house.
1871: IN NORTH CAROLINA, WILLIAM WOODS HOLDEN BECOMES THE FIRST GOVERNOR OF A US STATE TO BE REMOVED FROM OFFICE BY IMPEACHMENT.
I'm surprised there haven't been thousands of politicians facing impeachment.
1872: IILINOIS BECOMES THE FIRST STATE TO REQUIRE GENDER EQUALITY IN EMPLOYMENT.
Before they could vote?
1887: ACTOR CHICO MARX IS BORN.
Get-a your tootsie frootsie ice cream.
1888: MY GRANDFATHER WAS BORN.
Oddly enough, he died on March 23...the very next day...78 years later.
1894: THE FIRST PLAYOFF GAME FOR THE STANLEY CUP STARTS.
Even then, the playoffs were too long.
1912: ACTOR KARL MALDEN IS BORN.
American Express Card Member Number 1.
1920: ACTOR WERNER KLEMPERER IS BORN.
1930: COMPOSER STEPHEN SONDHEIM IS BORN.
Merrily He Comes Along.
1931: ACTOR WILLIAM SHATNER IS BORN.
I use the word "actor" loosely.
1939: WORLD WAR II - GERMANY TAKES MEMEL FROM LITHUANIA.
Germany took everything in those days.
1945: THE ARAB LEAGUE IS FOUNDED WHEN A CHARTER IS ADOPTED IN CAIRO, EGYPT.
This league featured a DT....Designated Terrorist.
1958: FILM PRODUCER MIKE TODD DIES IN A PLANE CRASH.
Married Liz Taylor, won an Oscar, and then died. Life ain't fair.
1960: ARTHUR LEONARD SCHAWLOW AND CHARLES HARD TOWNES RECEIVE THE FIRST PATENT FOR A LASER.
Just in case it ever comes up when you're a contestant on Jeopardy.
1972: THE US CONGRESS SENDS THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT TO THE STATES FOR RATIFICATION.
See how long this shit takes to pass.
1978: KARL WALLENDA OF THE FLYING WALLENDAS DIES AFTER FALLING OFF A TIGHTROPE BETWEEN TWO HOTELS IN PUERTO RICO.
Well, he said he would be right down.
1992: US AIR FLIGHT 405 CRASHES SHORTLY AFTER TAKEOFF FROM NY'S LAGUARDIA AIRPORT, LEADING TO A NUMBER OF SUTDIES INTO THE EFFECT THAT ICE HAS ON AIRCRAFT.
1993: THE INTEL CORPORATION SHIPS THE FIRST PENTIUM CHIPS.
In Ranch and BBQ flavors.
1994: ANIMATOR WALTER LANTZ DIES.
Woody Woodpecker weeps.
1995: COSMONAUT VALERI POLYAKOV RETURNS TO EARTH AFTER SETTING A RECORD OF 438 DAYS IN SPACE.
He obviously had a lot of vacation time coming.
1997: THE COMET HALE-BOPP HAS ITS CLOSEST APPROACH TO EARTH.
Slow news day...that March 22, 1997.
2013: BASKETBALL STAR RAY WILLIAMS DIES.
From my home town of Mount Vernon, New York.
2016: ACTRESS RITA GAM DIES.
And I bet she had nice ones.
Dinner last night: Roast beef sandwich at the NY abode.