Friday, March 31, 2017

Giving Up Proofreading for Lent

More honest-to-God misprints in church bulletins.

1. The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.

2. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

3. The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".

4. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

5. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

6. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

7. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

8. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

9. A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

10. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

11. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

12. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

13. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

14. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

15. Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

16. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

17. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."

18. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

19. The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved... the financial secretary gave a grief report.

20. If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

Dinner last night:  Roasted Brussels sprouts with pancetta and onions.

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