Beware the Ides of March. A tough day to be a leader of a foreign country. This is Julius Caesar. Or somebody playing him. I don't think Caesar really looked like a comic playing Vegas. There's enough reason to celebrate this day. Read on.
44 BC: JULIUS CAESAR IS STABBED TO DEATH BY MARCUS BRUTUS AND SEVERAL OTHER SENATORS.
He died without even tasting his salad creation.
220: CAO CAO OF THE HAN DYNASTY PASSES AWAY.
Well, at least, nobody stabbed him.
280: SUN HAO OF EASTERN WU SURRENDERS TO SUMA YAN WHICH BEGAN THE JIN DYNASTY.
Another day where I wasn't paying attention in World History class.
493: ODOACER, THE FIRST BARBARIAN KING OF ITALY, IS SLAIN BY THEODERIC THE GREAT, KING OF THE OSTROGOTHS, WHILE THE TWO KINGS WERE DINING TOGETHER.
Something on the table didn't agree with him.
856: MICHAEL III, EMPEROR OF THE BYZANTINE EMPIRE, OVERTHROWS THE REGENCY OF HIS MOTHER EMPRESS THEODORA.
Again, this is no day to be king or queen.
1493: CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS RETURNS TO SPAIN AFTER HIS FIRST TRIP TO THE AMERICAS.
"A nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there."
1783: IN AN EMOTIONAL SPEECH AT NEWBURGH, NEW YORK, GEORGE WASHINGTON ASKS HIS OFFICERS NOT TO SUPPORT THE NEWBURGH CONSPIRACY. THE PLEA IS SUCCESSFUL AND THE THREATENED COUP D'ETAT NEVER TAKES PLACE.
Coup D'Etat....French for "get him the fuck out of office."
1820: MAINE BECOMES THE 23RD US STATE.
Lobsters for everybody!
1874: FRANCE AND VIET NAM SIGN THE SECOND TREATY OF SAIGON.
France was smart when they got the hell out of there.
1875: ARCHBISHOP OF NEW YORK JOHN MCCLOSKEY IS NAMED THE FIRST CARDINAL IN THE US.
Stan Musial was the second.
1906: ROLLS ROYCE LIMITED IS INCORPORATED.
For those people with lots and lots and lots of money.
1913: ACTOR MACDONALD CAREY IS BORN.
So begins the days of his life.
1916: BANDLEADER HARRY JAMES IS BORN.
He married Betty Grable. No dope.
1916: US PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON SENDS 4,800 UNITED STATES TROOPS OVER THE US-MEXICO BORDER TO PURSUE PANCHO VILLA.
Couldn't get such easy access if there was a wall there.
1921: TALAAT PASHA, FORMER GRAND VIZIR OF THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE, IS ASSASSINATED IN BERLIN BY A YOUNG ARMENIAN.
One more time...it sucks to be a foreign leader on March 15.
1921: "I LOVE LUCY" WRITER MADELYN PUGH IS BORN.
A brilliant writer, a nice lady, and a good friend.
1935: ACTOR JUDD HIRSCH IS BORN.
Soon starting a new series called "Uber."
1935: TV EVANGELIST JIMMY SWAGGART IS BORN.
God help us.
1939: WORLD WAR II - GERMAN TROOPS OCCUPY THE REMAINING PART OF BOHEMIA AND MORAVIA.
Didn't Bob Hope and Bing Crosby make Road movies to both those places?
1952: IN CILAOS, 73 INCHES OF RAIN FALLS IN A 24-HOUR PERIOD.
1956: MY FAIR LADY DEBUTS ON BROADWAY.
They couldn't have written a song "The Rain in Cilaos." Doesn't rhyme.
1965: US PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON, RESPONDING TO THE SELMA CRISIS, TELLS THE US CONGRESS "WE SHALL OVERCOME."
Just in case you thought that phrase was coined by Richard Pryor.
1975: ACTRESS EVA LONGORIA IS BORN.
A Desperate Housewife.
1975: BUSINESSMAN ARISTOTLE ONASSIS DIES.
He just missed Eva Longoria.
1985: THE FIRST INTERNET DOMAIN NAME IS REGISTERED.
It's for symbolics.com. Whatever the hell that is.
1990: MIKHAIL GORBACHEV IS ELECTED AS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE SOVIET UNION.
2001: ACTRESS ANN SOTHERN DIES.
2007: BASEBALL COMMISSIONER BOWIE KUHN DIES.
Who names their kid "Bowie?"
2007: THE POPULAR BLOG "LEN SPEAKS" IS PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Ten years later, I have yet to be paid for any of this.
2014: COMIC DAVID BRENNER DIES.
With that nose, I wonder if they were ever able to close the casket.
Dinner last night: Leftover SPO. That's sausage, peppers, and onions for the non-New Yorkers.