Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 31, 2018

Hey, everybody, welcome 1966!!

Dinner last night:  London broil and pan roasted tomatoes.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thank God New Year's Eve Comes Once A Year

It wraps up the holiday period with a big bow.  It's a unfortunate reminder that, after some good time off, you are headed back to school and/or work.  And it means that you have to finally think about taking down that damn Christmas tree.

Yes, it's New Year's Eve.  The day before the first date of the new year.  And, unless you're a college football fan or love to stare at glued-on flowers, January 1 is usually a blur.  Not because of drinking.  Well, of course, maybe a little because you were chucking down some cocktails.  But it's also that dreaded day where you are forced to think about your regular life.  And, oh, yeah, that diet you need to begin.

But, first, there is December 31 and a time for frivolity.

Yeah, right.

Realistically, it's the most overrated of holidays. If you don't have something to do that night, you feel as if you've been relegated to the local leper colony. And, I've had a range of experiences on New Year's Eve.

Regular readers will recall my past pieces on the parties that my parents threw in our basement for family and friends.  At the age of six, I spent one New Year's Eve acting as bartender and sending some relatives into a high-ball-provoked coma.  That tale is being rested this year.  Maybe I'll share it again when the clock ticks down on December 31, 2019.

Oh, there was that New Year's Eve when I was a freshman in college.  You think I was sowing the wildest of oats that year?  Nah.  I had the flu.  And this is noteworthy since it was the very last time I ever had the flu to the current amazement of my internist.  As a result of this miraculous streak, I never have endured a flu shot.

The very next year I was healthy, though.   And a bunch of completely bored and over-served sophomores played hockey in a dormitory elevator bank, using  somebody's crunches as hockey sticks.

There was the one where I was fresh out of college and trying to impress some girl with my ability to cook in that new wok I had just gotten for Christmas.  Note to all: you really do have to chop up the ingredients or your meal can be a disaster.

There was the year where my fractured shoulder was in a sling and I could barely reach for the dice playing Trivial Pursuit at a neighbor's home.  I won the game and the painkillers were delicious, thank you very much.

There was the fateful Eve when I returned from a house party to hear that my mom had just lapsed into a coma at the hospital.  My first official act of the New Year was putting my John Hancock on a "do not resuscitate" order.

And, several years back, there was that wonderful restoration of the night.  Out to dinner with good friends in Los Angeles and then hear Kristin Chenowith ring in the new year with some song at Disney Hall.

Yeppers, the memories swing wildly like an out-of-control pendulum.

But, I certainly can remember hands down what the best New Year's Eve was.  I've written about it before but it's a story worth repeating.

1984. 

Typically, I had not made definitive plans, when my good friend Glenn in New York called with a bright idea. He and his wife were going downtown to an oldies club called Shout. In the true spirit of marketing, the place played the song several times that night. My friends even had another girl going, so we could easily divide the drink bill equally four ways.

To be honest, I don't remember who they brought along, because I danced with so many people that night. The night was electric. One big hit from the 50s and 60s after another. At several points out on the dance hall, we toasted catcher Gary Carter, who the Mets had just obtained in a trade. At midnight, they dragged out "Shout" one more time. And we all did. I kissed a few of the other patrons around me. I had no clue who they were. I didn't give a shit. 

It was that free. 

And easy. 

And spontaneous.

We had so much fun that, by January 2, I was already making plans to recreate it the following year. And we kept spreading the words amongst other friends as if we were sharing a secret handshake. 

By the time December, 1985 had rolled around, most of my address book had been invited. And I had a girlfriend, to boot. A non-stranger to kiss at the stroke of 12. This was going to be super-electric.

It was horrible. 

What had been spontaneous the year before was now over-planned to the hilt. And the cast of thousands of my friends didn't exactly mesh. It was a disaster. To make the gloom even more pronounced, we got word in the middle of the evening that Ricky Nelson had been killed in a plane crash.

To this day, I still don't know what happened from one year to another. Indeed, I'm not even sure the club stayed open much longer.

Who can figure?

I do know one thing for sure.  In a potpourri of New Year's Eve memories, that one year chimes in brightest.  And, as if I am reliving the wonderment of it all, I now maintain a New Year's Eve tradition.  Every year, when it's 9PM on the West Coast, I will call Glenn on the East Coast.  To wish him a Happy New Year.

And remember that my very favorite New Year's Eve was all his idea.

Dinner last night:  Pepperoni pizza at Stella Barra.

Classic Musical Comedy Production Number of the Month - December 2018

Yippee!  A five Saturday month.  We get to enjoy a classic clip from a musical comedy.  And since it is the holiday season, let's watch this wonderful number from the recent Broadway revival of "She Loves Me."  I was lucky to see this show in person.

Dinner last night:  A rarity - A Big Mac and fries.

Hope You Have All Returned Your Ugly Sweaters

Dinner last night:  More leftover Christmas dinner goodies.

Len's Recipe of the Month - December 2018

Here's one you can save for next Christmas.   Because a perfect beef tenderloin is for very special occasions, given its market price of 100 bucks or more at a reputable butcher.  Don't judge by the red tint of the photo above.   My Christmas beef tenderloin was perfectly done and yes, the cow was dead.

If done right, a beef tenderloin melts in your mouth like butter and is quite succulent.  But there are some steps you need to undertake before making it or risk 100 dollars being thrown down the garbage disposal along with some tough-to-chew meat.  Follow these tips and your gala feast will be a success.

1.  Get a beef tenderloin from a butcher.   They know what they are doing with this most tender part of the cow.   If you can get a tenderloin from an animal that has been grass fed, even better.   There is a difference.

2.  On the day that you are going to serve the meat, pull it from the refrigerator at least two hours before you are going to cook it.

3.  While it's sitting on the counter and getting used to room temperature, you must season it.   This is the key.   First melt some butter and brush it down.  Remember to do the ends and all sides.

4.  The seasoning?  Here's another trick.  Mix together lots of kosher salt and black pepper.   Salt must be on the meat at least two hours before because it creates some sort of chemical reaction that makes the beef even more tender.   

5.  Add to this rub of salt and pepper about 1/4 tablespoon of baking powder. This helps the meat to brown and takes the place of searing the thing in a pan.

6.  After coating the meat, let it sit for at least two hours.

7.  When ready to cook it, there are two schools of thought on how best to prepare a beef tenderloin.   I have tried both and I definitely now favor one.  You can put in the oven with very high heat for a short amount of time.  Or, as I prefer, you can cook it low and slow.   275 degrees for 60 to 75 minutes.

8.  Get yourself a decent meat thermometer.   Check the meat periodically.   The temperature in the center should be 130 degrees, which is ideal.   Don't let it get any higher.  This meat must be served medium rare and uniformly pink inside.

9.  Pull the meat from the oven and sit it on the counter for at least 15 to 20 minutes covered with tin foil.   This allows for all the juices to distribute.

It sounds a little complicated, but it really works to your advantage.   Look, if we can get to Mars, you can cook a perfect beef tenderloin.

You will thank me next Christmas.

Dinner last night:  And the beef tenderloin lasts for a day.....leftovers.

This Date in History - December 26

Happy birthday, Ozzie Smith.  Back in the 80s, I hated your guts.  Just sayin'.

268:  POPE DIONYSIUS DIES.

What happened to simple Pope names like John or Paul?

418:  POPE ZOSIMUS DIES.

What happened to simple Pope names like Leo or Ringo?

1135:  THE CORONATION OF KING STEPHEN OF ENGLAND.

On Boxing Day.  Talk about your bad planning.

1613:  ROBERT CARR, 1ST EARL OF SOMERSET, MARRIES FRANCES HOWARD.

On Boxing Day.  Once again, talk about your bad planning.

1790:  LOUIS XVI OF FRANCE GIVES HIS PUBLIC ASSENT TO THE CLERGY DURING THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.

Why do I think this will bite him in the ass?

1792:  THE FINAL TRIAL OF LOUIS XVI OF FRANCE BEGINS.

Because I read ahead, that's why.

1793:  THE WEDDING OF PRINCE FRIEDRICH LUDWIG OF PRUSSIA AND FREDERICA OF MECKLENBURG-STRELITZ TAKES PLACE.

Because the Germans don't give a shit about Boxing Day in England.

1799:  FOUR THOUSAND PEOPLE ATTEND GEORGE WASHINGTON'S FUNERAL.

And thousands of others couldn't see it on television.  Because it hadn't been invented yet, stupid.

1811:  A THEATER FIRE IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA KILLS THE GOVERNOR OF VIRGINIA AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF VIRGINIA.

Whoever the hell they are.

1825:  ADVOCATES OF LIBERALISM IN RUSSIA RISE UP TSAR NICHOLAS I AND ARE PUT DOWN IN THE DECEMBRIST REVOLT IN ST. PETERSBURG.

In America, those advocates are called MSNBC.

1846:  TRAPPED IN SNOW IN THE SIERRA NEVADAS AND WITHOUT FOOD, MEMBERS OF THE DONNER PARTY RESORT TO CANNIBALISM.

That's what happens when you don't have Christmas leftovers.

1862:  FOUR NUNS SERVING AS VOLUNTEER NURSES ON BOARD USS RED ROVER ARE THE FIRST FEMALE NURSES ON A US NAVY HOSPITAL SHIP.

Boy, those doctors on board sure got a surprise when they started hitting on them.

1862:  THE LARGEST MASS-HANGING IN US HISTORY TOOK PLACE IN MANKATO, MINNESOTA AS 38 NATIVE AMERICANS DIE.

A lost art.

1871:  GILBERT AND SULLIVAN COLLABORATE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THEIR LOST OPERA "THESPIS."

And there must be a reason why it's lost.  Probably stunk.

1898:  MARIE AND PIERRE CURIE ANNOUNCE THE ISOLATION OF RADIUM.

They were so excited that they were absolutely glowing.

1907:  POLITICIAN AL GORE SR. IS BORN.

Papa was a big ole racist.

1919:  BABE RUTH OF THE BOSTON RED SOX IS SOLD TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES BY OWNER HARRY FRAZEE.

And the persecution of those assholes in Massachusetts begins.

1921:  ENTERTAINER STEVE ALLEN IS BORN.

The start of something big.

1927:  COMEDIAN ALAN KING IS BORN.

When he came on the Ed Sullivan Show, my grandmother turned the channel.

1933:  FM RADIO IS PATENTED.

Can Scott Muni be far behind?

1940:  BASEBALL PITCHER RAY SADECKI IS BORN.

Mentioned here only because he was once on the New York Mets.

1941:  US PRESIDENT FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT SIGNS A BILL ESTABLISHING THE FOURTH THURSDAY IN NOVEMBER AS THANKSGIVING DAY. 

He couldn't have done this in October??

1947:  BASEBALL PLAYER CARLTON FISK IS BORN.

Hit one of the most famous home runs in World Series history.

1948:  JOURNALIST CANDY CROWLEY IS BORN.

Journalist???????  Wha???????

1954:  BASEBALL PLAYER OZZIE SMITH IS BORN.

Forgive me for refraining from a Harriet, Ricky, and David joke.

1966:  THE FIRST KWANZAA IS CELEBRATED BY MAULANA KARENGA, THE CHAIR OF BLACK STUDIES AT CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, LONG BEACH.

Of course, it would be some screwball professor in California who started this nonsense.  On Boxing Day, for Pete's sake!

1972:  US PRESIDENT HARRY TRUMAN DIES.

No walk around the neighborhood today, Harry.

1974:  COMEDIAN JACK BENNY DIES.

Your money or your life?  We finally get the answer.

1977:  DIRECTOR HOWARD HAWKS DIES.

One of his best films was "Bringing Up Baby."

1982:  TIME MAGAZINE'S "MAN OF THE YEAR" IS FOR THE FIRST TIME A NON-HUMAN, THE PERSONAL COMPUTER.

Yeah, that was a flash in the pan.

1986:  THE FIRST LONG-RUNNING AMERICAN TELEVISION SOAP OPERA, SEARCH FOR TOMORROW, AIRS ITS FINAL EPISODE.

So, even if you search, there is no episode tomorrow.

1986:  ACTRESS ELSA LANCHESTER DIES.

She was married to Charles Laughton.  Ugh.  And worse...he was married to her.

1996:  SIX-YEAR-OLD BEAUTY QUEEN JONBENET RAMSEY IS FOUND MURDERED IN COLORADO.

The original Honey Boo Boo.

2000:  ACTOR JASON ROBARDS DIES.

He was once married to Lauren Bacall.  Ugh.  And worse...she was married to him.

2004:  A 9.3 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE CREATES A TSUNAMI IN THE INDIAN OCEAN, KILLING 230,000 PEOPLE.

A very good day to be an undertaker in India.

2006:  US PRESIDENT GERALD FORD DIES.

Two Presidents dying on the same date.  What luck!  Unless, of course, you're one of them.

Dinner last night:  Beef tenderloin and lots of other Christmas goodies.

From My Computer To Your Computer

...or tablet or phone or whatever you use to read this blog.

The most joyous of holiday seasons.   Enjoy it all.

Dinner last night:  Steak.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 24, 2018

My annual Christmas Eve gift to you.

Dinner last night:  Grilled pork chops and roasted Campari tomatoes.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Your Christmas Movie Primer

It's back.   My annual holiday service to you.   And don't we all need a break today with Christmas upon us?  Let Hollywood relax you.  Maybe the weather outside is frightful.  Or you're wrapping presents.  Baking cookies.  You might want to multi-task by watching one of these movie suggestions.  They're all available on DVD.  And Turner Classic Movies shows several of them every year. 

These are my 10 must-watch movies for every Christmas.  And please note that "Miracle on 34th Street,"  "It's A Wonderful Life," and "A Christmas Story" are not included.  Don't get me wrong.  They are all terrific films, but played to death everywhere but in my house.  And there are some other gems that don't make my list.  For instance, I did watch "Die Hard" a few nights ago and, yes, Virginia, that is a Christmas flick.  But consider the ones below.  These movies all have personal connections to me in some shape or form.  So, if you disagree, I hope there's some coal mixed in with your buttered popcorn.

1.  I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" in a theater for the very first time three years ago.  They dragged out co-star June Lockhart for a post-film question-and-answer.  Ironically, most of the people were there to ask her all about the TV show "Lost in Space."  Hell, I want to know what Angela Cartwright is doing myself.  

None of that has anything to do with how wonderful a holiday treat this movie is.  Truth be told, Christmas only makes up one-quarter of the movie as it follows the Smith family through one whole year prior to the opening of the St. Louis World Fair in 1904.  Each portion is devoted to a calendar season and Christmas dominates the winter as it should.  

The scene where a dateless Judy Garland has to dance with her grandfather at the big Christmas Eve ball is priceless.  He twirls her around the Christmas tree and she magically reappears with her beau who was late in arriving.  One of those very simple cinematic moments that only director Vincente Minnelli could turn into pure gold.  

Of course, this is the film that sports my very favorite Christmas song..."Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."   If you've heard countless versions of this ditty, you need to listen to the very best rendition by Miss Garland.

I remember watching "Meet Me in St. Louis" with my mom when I was about seven or eight.  In the middle of it all, she blurts out "if you had been a girl, I was going to name you Judy."

Okay.   So, there's that. 

2.  This is a mid-40s classic from the Warner Brothers back lot. In fact, they don't even get off a soundstage. For a movie from that era, it is still surprisingly modern. Because star Barbara Stanwyck plays a character very similar to Martha Stewart. A magazine writer who specializes in being an expert on hearth and home. And supposedly the greatest cook on the planet.

Her publisher hits on a publicity stunt where Stanwyck will provide a home-cooked Christmas meal for an injured soldier. Except nobody knows the woman can't cook and hasn't got one single domestic talent. The plot spins out into several directions from there, but it is all delicious screwball-y fun. And any movie that features S.Z "Cuddles" Sakall is okay in my book. This is a perfect film to watch while wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve day.  Or if you're finished off a quart of egg nog.   With popularity of the Food Network, this movie should be remade.   I want to work on that script now.

3.  This is technically not a Christmas movie, but it should be, since all the action happens around the holidays. This 1941 movie is another one that never leaves a Warner Brothers soundstage, but it really doesn't have to. You may know that this was originally a big hit on Broadway as written by Moss Hart and George S. Kaufman. And two members of that cast, Monty Wooley and Mary Wickes, reprise their roles in the movie, which features the most razor sharp dialogue ever captured on celluloid. 

There's not one unclever moment in the entire six reels. Who can't identify with the holiday guest who just won't leave? In this case, it's renowed critic and lecturer Sheridan Whiteside, who sprains his ankle and then sets up camp in somebody else's house for the holidays. As portrayed by Wooley, Whiteside is loosely based on Alexander Woolcott and he has one great barb after another. He's described this way: "He would have his mother burned at the stake if that was the only way he could light his cigarette." I wish people talked like these characters in real life. 

When Whiteside's nurse (Mary Wickes) forbids him from eating some candy, he retorts, "My great Aunt Jennifer ate a box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be one hundred and two, and when she had been dead for three days, she looked better than you do now." If that's not enough, throw in the fact that this is the only movie in history that co-starred Bette Davis and Jimmy Durante! Grab a box of your own candy and savor this great Christmas treat.

4.  Yeah, yeah, I know.   An obvious choice.  And, gee, Len, isn't this movie shown to death already?  Sadly, "White Christmas" is starting to fall in that category---the Christmas movie that is starting to look like your tree on January 15.  Dried out and ready for the dumpster.  You can thank some cable networks like the woefully annoying AMC for playing it over and over and over.  

Gee, thanks, idiots.  Because you're destroying another movie that landed on the list of my Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time at slot #23.  Sure, after repeated viewings, this film starts to look like "Off White Christmas."  But, miraculously, recent digital restorations have made this look glorious all over again.  All of a sudden, it's the hot and in thing to run this movie in theaters.   Try to see it on the big screen if you can.  TCM did that a few weeks back with one of their Fathom Events.  But if you can't experience it on a large screen, the Blu Ray edition will do.  I'd be happy to loan you mine.

Right from the moment that Paramount's Vistavision logo exploded onto the screen to the last frames of the movie when the Pine Tree Lodge is celebrating a snowy Christmas Eve, I was moved to tears all over again.  Just like the very first time I saw it about 28 years ago.  When I was having a pretty crappy holiday and this boosted my spirits like a Vitamin B-12 injection. 

I had both my parents housed in separate hospitals with illnesses. Unfortunately, my dad was in the final stages of his cancer and this year would be his last Christmas. My mom was sequestered elsewhere dealing with one more smoke-provoked bronchial episode. I spent the holiday season shuttling between semi-private rooms located on opposite ends of Westchester. And I felt incredibly alone.

"White Christmas" gave me a little bit of hope and brightness for some darker days that would come. And it still shines for me every year.  Plus it's my second "must watch" holiday film featuring Mary Wickes.

5.  Yeah, yeah, you've never heard of it.  I did list it as #25 on my list of Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time, but perhaps you missed that entry.  And you say it's not a Christmas movie??

Oh, pish and tosh.  The film opens and ends on Christmas day one year later.  Good enough for me.  And it embodies everything that Christmas is all about.

"Since You Went Away" came out in 1944 and it is 100% devoted to the homefront during WWII. For what "Mrs. Miniver" and "Hope and Glory" did for the London bombings (and I have a good friend who lived through that), "Since You Went Away" wonderfully depicts life in the United States when most men were overseas someplace and completely out of touch with their family and loved ones. David O. Selznick produced it and hoped to do for World War II what his earlier effort "Gone With the Wind" did for the Civil War. Yes, it's almost three hours long, but it sails by and, for me, is a big screen version of the best macaroni and cheese you can ever eat.

Claudette Colbert plays the mother of Jennifer Jones and Shirley Temple (here, she's a teenager and Bill Robinson-less). The family is semi-well-to-do and lives in Everytown, USA. Hattie McDaniel, who was obviously highlighted in Selznick's phone book for all servant roles, is their housekeeper and there is not a single stereotypical note to her performance. You never see the father as he has just left for active duty on Christmas Eve as the film opens. What follows is a year in the life of the Hilton family with Dad gone.

You visit USO dances. You experience food rationing and scrap metal drives. You watch as neighbors lose loved ones in battle and then sense the uneasiness as others in the community grapple to find the right words to comfort them. It is probably the truest picture of life in our country as that war raged on in Europe and the South Pacific. The courage. The resiliency. The dread. It is all here in this terrific slice of Americana.

I came to see this movie for the first time about 20 years ago. I've probably seen it once a year ever since and always during Christmas week.  For me, it is a annual reminder of my grandmother, who was a mother during World War II. And she shared virtually all of the stories that are portrayed on screen. On cold winter Sunday afternoons, I would sit in her living room and hear about rationing and community dances and the fear that wrapped around you when a letter from the government arrived in the mail. She lost a son in France in 1945---I was named after him. This movie gives me more than a history lesson. It gives me back my grandmother one more time.

"Since You Went Away" turns up on Turner Classic Movies. It is worth three hours of your time. I defy you not to well up at the end of Act 1 or just prior to the finale. I double defy you.

6.  Forget "Elf" and any other Yuletide crap that Hollywood has passed off the last few years. The best Christmas movie to be produced in the last fifteen or so years is "Love Actually." It's one of those ultra-episodic scripts where about 15 characters have different storylines that may or may not be connected. It's a little confusing at first, as you meet practically the entire London phone book. But, hang on and you will get a wonderful present. 

Sure, there are about five characters and three storylines too many. But, they will scoot by quickly and you can revel in the more compelling tales. Laura Linney as a single woman who can't commit to any romance. Liam Neeson who is trying to be a parent to his young stepson as they both experience their first Noel without the recently-died Mom. The shaky marriage between Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson, who breaks your heart as she listens to a Joni Mitchell CD version of "Both Sides Now." I even liked Hugh Grant as a Tony Blair-like British Prime Minister. And there is a rendition of "All I Want for Christmas is You" that gives you goose bumps. If you've ever wanted to spend Christmas in London, this is the ideal virtual way to do so.

7.  Okay, what's a Christmas without one Disney cartoon?  And this one is the best in my book.  Because it was my mother's favorite cartoon.  Curiously, I don't remember seeing it with her on one of the many Disney re-issues over the years.  But, when it came out on...wait for it...VHS several decades ago, I bought it and we watched it together one Christmas afternoon.  Suddenly, I was the child again and Mom was the parent again.  Indeed, as always happens with aging folks, the dynamic had reversed.  But, not on this day.  Thank you, Lady and the Tramp, for one of the very last good and lasting memories of my mom.

8.  And then there's Christmas with Dad.  Here's the movie that connects me to him every December.  And, no worries.  This rollicking World War II comedy has a set piece that happens on New Year's Eve when Tony Curtis is trying to steal some Polynesian farmer's pig for dinner.  But, moreover, this is the movie that I remember hearing my father laughing out loud for the very first time.

I know I saw it with him in a theater.  I do believe it played at the RKO Proctors in Mount Vernon, New York around Christmas time.  This may have been the way that I was shuttled out of the house for a few hours so that Mom could wrap my presents.  A lot of the ribald gags might have gone over my head.  But I didn't care.

My dad was convulsed with laughter.  And this was not a sight I saw frequently.  Plus there was one line that he repeated over and over and over when we got home.

"Can this submarine go down?"

"Like a rock."

For some reason, Dad loved that exchange.  Meanwhile, I did the same thing with this film when it came out many years ago on....wait for it again...VHS.  I watched it with my father one holiday season. 

He still laughed.

9.  Okay, truth be told, I don't watch "Ben-Hur" every year.   Since I'm already devoting three hours to "Since You Went Away," I'm not sure I have the time to view this three-hour-plus epic.  But, frequently, I can hear the voices in my head.  Most notably that of my mother, who used to drag me to every Biblical movie ever made.  She may not have gone to church, but she sure did run to the theater every time Charlton Heston appeared in a gladiator outfit.  Oddly enough, this was not one of the movies she took me to.

But then there was one holiday season where Judah Ben-Hur and I finally crossed paths.

On December 30, 1987, I tripped on my sneaker laces coming out of my bathroom.  Falling forward, I landed on my right arm with pain so severe that it actually made me laugh.  Nevertheless, I still headed out for the evening, totally ignorant of the fact that I had fractured the rotator cuff in my right shoulder.

I was less ignorant in the morning when the excruciating pain and a neighbor drove me to the emergency room.

Happy F-ing New Year!

I couldn't raise a glass of cheer, because I could barely raise a pencil. So, I was cooped up for the frivolity. And, to get my mind off my chipped bones, I decided to rent the longest movie I could find at the video store. That would be the 1959 rendition of "Ben-Hur," which I had surprisingly never seen. And, so I sat in front of a 19 inch television, arm in a sling and watching, for the first time, one of the biggest and successful epics Hollywood had ever made. It was probably the worst way to sample this film. And I certainly have seen it several times since in much better viewing conditions. But, I can't say that I have enjoyed it more than I did that very first time.

"Ben-Hur" is total validation that, at one isolated point in the fixed universe, Charlton Heston could really act. For a movie that is so large in scope and long in running time, "Ben-Hur" is an incredibly intimate story. Because, indeed, it's about one man's spiritual awakening.

Many of the movie's sequences are so legendary that all I have to do is simply mention them and you can conjure up an immediate image. The ship's galley. The chariot race. The leper colony. But, for me, the most memorable scenes are the ones where Judah Ben-Hur encounters Jesus Christ. The first time finds a beaten Judah, enslaved in a road gang, and a traveling Jesus gives him a drink of water. Many reels later, Judah returns the favor when Christ falls in front of him while carrying the cross to his own crucifixion. The symmetry of those two points in the movie is truly amazing and wonderfully choreographed by director William Wyler.

Of course, this was in the day when Hollywood worked hard to never show Jesus Christ's face on camera. Today, they probably would have no shame and they'd probably even cast Tyler Perry in the part.

You can't truly appreciate "Ben-Hur" until you see it on a big screen. And a wide one. A really wide one like the Egyptian Theater had several years back when I saw it there.   But the Blu-Ray on the 42 inch-screen in my living room last year wasn't bad either. 

And my arm wasn't in a sling.

10.  Okay, one more and I'm saving the best for last.  Truth be told, I watch "The Apartment" every year during the week between Christmas and New Year's.  Both those holidays are featured in the film, but it's the really organic blend of comedy and drama that makes it perfect for the post-Christmas doldrums.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will be moved.  It is life itself and that's why "The Apartment" is my #1 favorite movie of all time.  To understand it is to understand what we all deal with every single day.

There's no magical story why I am so connected to this film.  I did not see "The Apartment" till well after I got out of college. Now, it's one I see every year. It is an essential part of my annual film viewing. But, every time I see it, there is some new emotion or nuance that reveals itself to me. Perhaps it's a look or gesture from Shirley McLaine or Fred MacMurray that I missed. Maybe it's a line of dialogue that I suddenly realize was set up by another line of dialogue one reel earlier. There's always some new discovery for me.

And maybe it will be a discovery for you.  As well as the rest of the movies on this list.  Sure to bring holiday cheer...and even a tear...to your Christmas festivities.  Watch them with friends and family.  Watch them alone.

Just watch them.   And, if the Christmas tree lights are twinkling in the background, even better.

Dinner last night:  Fried chicken sandwich at the Arclight.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - December 2018

Boy, were they confused on how to market this movie.  Especially since they opened this Christmas film in June!

Dinner last night:  Bacon and cheese omelet.

Tis The Season To Advertise

Dinner last night: Had a big lunch, so just a sandwich.

Signs of the Holiday Season

Dinner last night:  Orange chicken and fried rice from Bristol Farms.

This Date in History - December 19

Happy birthday, Bobby Brady.  All the best, even if you were on one of the crappiest TV shows in history.

211:  PUBLIUS SEPTIMIUS GETA, CO-EMPEROR OF ROME, IS LURED TO COME WITHOUT HIS BODYGUARDS TO MEET HIS BROTHER TO DISCUSS A POSSIBLE RECONCILIATION.  WHEN HE ARRIVES, THE PRAETORIAN GUARD MURDERS HIM AND HE DIES IN THE ARMS OF HIS MOTHER JULIA DOMNA.

That's one Italian mouthful.

324:  LICINIUS ABDICATES HIS POSITION AS ROMAN EMPEROR.

After what happened to Publius Septimius Geta, can you blame him?

1154:  HENRY II OF ENGLAND IS CROWNED AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY.

Only six more Henrys before the really interesting one goes on the throne.

1490:  ANNE, DUCHESS OF BRITTANY, IS MARRIED TO MAXIMILIAN I, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR BY PROXY.

When does this Roman Emperor shit go away?

1606:  THREE SHIPS DEPART ENGLAND CARRYING SETTLES WHO FOUND, AT JAMESTOWN, VIRGINIA, THE FIRST OF THE THIRTEEN COLONIES THAT BECAME THE UNITED STATES.

And so it begins...

1776:  THOMAS PAINE PUBLISHES ONE OF A SERIES OF PAMPHLETS TITLED THE "AMERICAN CRISIS."

Probably still applicable today.

1777:  GEORGE WASHINGTON'S CONTINENTAL ARMY GOES INTO WINTER QUARTERS AT VALLEY FORGE, PENNSYLVANIA.

Years later, they could have ditched this for a stay at Brown's in the Poconos.

1843:  CHARLES DICKENS "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" GOES ON SALE.

You could pre-order on Amazon.

1899:  MARTIN LUTHER KING SR. IS BORN.

Outlived his son by sixteen years.

1907:  A GROUP OF 239 COAL MINERS DIE DURING AN EXPLOSION IN JACOBS CREEK, PENNSYLVANIA.

Right before Christmas.  No coal for anybody's stockings.

1915:  SINGER EDITH PIAF IS BORN.

Je n'regrete rien.  Or whatever she sang.

1920:  TV PRODUCER DAVID SUSSKIND IS BORN.

His appearance on TV every Sunday night saddened me.  It meant it was back to school the next day.

1924:  COMEDIAN GARY MORTON IS BORN.

Mr. Lucille Ball.

1925:  SONGWRITER ROBERT SHERMAN IS BORN.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Please check my spelling.

1933:  ACTRESS CICELY TYSON IS BORN.

Now is the first casting call whenever anybody needs an old Black woman.

1934:  BASEBALL STAR AL KALINE IS BORN.

Put a Tiger in your tank.

1941:  ADOLF HITLER BECOMES SUPREME COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE GERMAN ARMY.

Because being a mass murderer of a whole ethnicity is just not enough.

1944:  ACTOR TIM REID IS BORN.

Venus Flytrap!!

1956:  IRISH PHYSICIAN JOHN BODKIN ADAMS IS ARRESTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE SUSPICIOUS DEATHS OF MORE THAN 160 PATIENTS.

That has to be one huge malpractice suit.

1960:  ACTOR MIKE LOOKINLAND IS BORN.

"Oh, Alice...."

1972:  THE LAST MANNED LUNAR FLIGHT, APOLLO 17, CREWED BY EUGENE CERNAN, RON EVANS AND HARRISON SCHMITT, RETURNS TO EARTH.

Sorry to see they ended the program on an odd number.

1986:  MIKHAIL GORBACHEV, LEADER OF THE SOVIET UNION, RELEASES ANDREI SAKHAROV AND HIS WIFE FROM EXILE IN GORKY.

They had parked in Gorky.

1996:  ACTOR MARCELLO MASTROIANNI DIES.

Death, Italian Style.

1998:  THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES FORWARDS ARTICLES I AND III OF IMPEACHMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON TO THE SENATE. 

Yeah, we know, Bill.  You didn't do it.

2000:  NY MAYOR JOHN LINDSAY DIES.

Queens streets, still not plowed.

2003:  ACTRESS HOPE LANGE DIES.

I ran the same gag on her birthday, but it still works.  The Ghost is Mrs. Muir.

2008:  BASEBALL PITCHER DOCK ELLIS DIES.

Really docked now.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just some macaroni salad.