The Sunday Memory Drawer - Revisiting Another Movie Memory

Another terrific Saturday night courtesy of the Aero Theater in Santa Monica.  Someone at the American Cinematheque got the brainstorm of running nothing but Alfred Hitchcock movies this month and I am back suddenly as a kid gobbling up one thrill after another.

A few weeks back, they ran "Rear Window," which is my 4th favorite movie of all time.   Last night, it was time for "North By Northwest," my third favorite movie of all time.  The theater was packed both nights, which also says a lot about what's playing these days in the regular cinemas.  

As for me, I am young again.  I go back to my early days when my cousin Gini took me to the RKO Proctor's in Mount Vernon, New York to see "The Birds."  An awfully adult movie for a little boy who primarily saw Disney films and anything with Jerry Lewis.   This day was the first time I felt I was a grown-up.  I will never forget my cousin for raising the bar on my movie experience that afternoon.   

I was seeing an Alfred Hitchcock movie!

I began a journey across the master's playlist.  Alfred Hitchcock had made dozens of great movies. I sought them out in the worst possible place.  Television.   The Late Show.  The Early Show.  CBS or NBC or ABC Blank Day Night at the Movies.

"Psycho."

"Frenzy." 

"Lifeboat."

"Saboteur," not to be confused with "Sabotage." 

"The Man Who Knew Too Much."

"Family Plot." 

"The 39 Steps." 

"The Lady Vanishes." 

"Foreign Correspondent." 

"Shadow of a Doubt." 

All terrific.  It took me years to get to all of them, but I did.

But, for me, there is only one I can watch over and over and over. 

"North By Northwest" is perfect film entertainment because it intricately blends together drama, adventure, mystery, and intrigue. But, most notably, it does so with a helluva lot of laughs. Thanks to the magnificently layered performance of Cary Grant. 

The guy oozed charm and sophistication out of every pore, but, in this movie, he manages to evoke tons of laughs with an impeccable delivery. As Roger O. Thornhill (the initials are ROT), Grant portrays the quintessential snobbish, pampered playboy whose main goal in daily life is to determine what time of night he can enjoy his first Bombay martini. 

But, as usually happens in every Hitchcock, an ordinary and innocent man is in the wrong place at the wrong time with definitely the wrong people. And the story spins from that, as said innocent guy must extricate himself from some pretty perilous situations. Hitchcock went to this well a lot, but, in North by Northwest, the water is his most refreshing. 

I came to this movie later in life, and I really wish I had gotten to see it on a big screen when it probably first opened at the Loews Mount Vernon theater. Every time I have seen it, the experience, while still perfect, always changes just a little bit as I notice some new detail or nuance. There are location shots from NY's Grand Central Terminal that take you back to that train station as it looked circa 1958. The rear projection of a train going up the Hudson Line train tracks is authentic, especially since I rode that same railway for about 20 years. 

"North By Northwest" is noted in film lore for two very specific sequences. The famous crop dusting scene has been shown on virtually every Oscar clip show ever staged, but it never fails to grip me one more time. And, the climax set on Mount Rushmore, while clearly a back lot replica, still remains as exciting as anything filmed for the big screen. In fact, this very ending prompted what was supposed to be the title of the movie. "The Man in Lincoln's Nose." 

Hell, even the trailer (and Hitchcock sure knew how to make those as well) is riveting.

If you get the DVD of this movie, there is a very well-known blooper still in the movie. In the Mount Rushmore observatory during the scene where Eva Marie Saint confronts Grant with a gun, watch the little kid sitting at one of the tables in the background. He is preparing for the subsequent gunshot by holding his ears. Even in its mistakes, the movie is captivating.

Unlike most of the other films on my list of favorite movies, I have no poignant or funny memory attached to seeing North By Northwest. All I can say is that I have enjoyed. Again and again and again and again. Perhaps one of the most perfect movies ever made.

And it was perfect again just last night.

Dinner last night:  Pulled pork sandwich at Holy Cow.

Classic Musical Comedy Production Number of the Month - September 2018

Yassss!!!  A five Saturday month and that means we get to enjoy a classic production number from a musical comedy.   And here's a ditty from the Hollywood Bowl production of "Annie" just two months ago.

Dinner last night:  Grilled chicken caesar salad.

Before They Were Somebody

A few months back, celebrities took to social media and posted some of their older head shots.   Some are too good/funny not to share here.

 Adam Sandler...post Bar Mitzvah.

Would Stiller and Meara even recognize him then?

 Jimmy Fallon.  Already copping an attitude.

 Alec Baldwin looked like a prick even then.

 Kevin Spacey.  Back at the age that he would molest in later years.

 The fatally one-note Melissa McCarthy.

Robert Downey Jr. with major bed head.   Or did he get that by sleeping in a gutter?

 Already getting laid a lot.

 I think Ryan Seacrest was already in TV when he was 12.

 Jim Carrey.   Pre-bloated ego.

Emma Stone.  Boy, did she clean up well?

Anna Kendrick.   I would have dated her in the fifth grade, too.

Dinner last night:   Bratwurst and German potato salad.

Loved Her, Only Liked the Movie

Forget the last 30 or so seasons of SNL, where in the space of a weekly 90 minutes, you get about 42 seconds of laughter.   Lazy, sloppy, mean humor engineered by the physically and mentally bloated Lorne Michaels who has been stealing money from NBC for decades.

Do not forget the first years of SNL when it was new, fresh, and innovative. For my money, the biggest talent in that original cast was Gilda Radner, who was sadly taken away from us all by ovarian cancer at the age of 43.  A flame snuffed out way too soon.

The new documentary "Love, Gilda" tries very hard to re-introduce us all to Gilda's talent and vibrancy.  Luckily, film maker Lisa D'Apolito has at her fingertips lots and lots of Gilda's diaries and home movies.  Indeed, the ipso facto narrator is Gilda herself from hours of audio tapes.  With all this wonderful reference material, you would think this would be a deeper journey into Radner's live.   Sadly, it is enough.   I see that CNN has some sort of back room hand at this.   That explains the skimpiness in spades.

Oh, don't get me wrong.   It is delightful to see all the clips of Gilda's work on both SNL and the Broadway stage...a one woman show at the Winter Garden I myself saw.  But there were not enough talking heads to lend their stories about Gilda.  Most particularly absent were some of the SNL original cast.   You got Lorne Michaels, Laraine Newman, and Chevy Chase whose career is so empty he would talk to a fire hydrant.   But where was Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray, both of whom once dated Gilda?   Where was Jane Curtin?  Last I heard, all three of them were still on this side of the living.

Instead, you got regular intrusions from the later SNL droids.   Frankly, I don't give a shit what Amy Poehler or Bill Hader or Maya Rudolph think about Gilda.  None of them have 1/100th of the magic Gilda had.

Of course, Radner's story takes the inevitable dark, sad turn and it is illuminated with lots of home movies during chemotherapy.   While difficult to watch, they reinforced her courage as well as the love shared with her husband, Gene Wilder, who is also now sorely missed.  

I wish there were more performance snippets of Gilda and zero cutaways to Poehler and company.  This was valuable screen time that was sadly wasted.   

So, yes, I loved Gilda, but only liked "Love, Gilda."   I guess this is what you get when you let CNN get involved.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch, so just a sandwich.

This Date in History - September 26

Happy birthday in Heaven, Elly May.  I mean, Donna Douglas.   Whee-doggie.

46 BC:  JULIUS CAESAR DEDICATES A TEMPLE TO HIS MYTHICAL ANCESTOR VENUS GENETRIX IN ACCORDANCE WITH A VOW HE MADE AT THE BATTLE OF PHARSALUS.

It's 46 years before Christ and we've already got a world leader who's completely delusional.  There would be others.

1212:  THE GOLDEN BULL OF SICILY IS CERTIFIFED AS AN HEREDITARY ROYAL TITLE IN BOHEMIA FOR THE PREMYSLID DYNASTY.

Just like when I took World History with the hated Miss Kass, none of this makes any sense to me.

1580:  SIR FRANCIS DRAKE FINISHES HIS CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF THE EARTH.

Oh, circumnavigation.  Never mind.

1687:  THE PARTHENON IN ATHENS IS PARTIALLY DESTROYED BY AN EXPLOSION CAUSED BY THE BOMBING FROM VENETIAN FORCES.

Several Venetians got too close to the explosion so those Venetians were blinded.  Yeah, yeah, I know.

1687:  THE CITY COUNCIL OF AMSTERDAM VOTES TO SUPPORT WILLIAM OF ORANGE'S INVASION OF ENGLAND, WHICH BECAME THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION.

Knowing how people tend to exaggerate, I am guessing that revolution was Just Okay.

1774:  JOHNNY APPLESEED IS BORN.

You're kidding, right?  I thought this guy was a storybook hero.

1777:  BRITISH TROOPS OCCUPY PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.

They were booed by the locals, but, then again, who isn't in Philadelphia?

1789:  THOMAS JEFFERSON IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US SECRETARY OF STATE, JOHN JAY IS APPOINTED THE FIRST CHIEF JUSTICE, SAMUEL OSGOOD IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US POSTMASTER GENERAL, AND EDMUND RANDOLPH IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US ATTORNEY GENERAL.

The first American budget deficit was obviously due to printing too many new business cards.

1792:  MARC-DAVID LASOURCE BEGINS ACCUSING MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE OF WANTING A DICTATORSHIP FOR FRANCE.

Hey, France, I saw 1942.  Be careful what you wish for.

1820:  FRONTIERSMAN DANIEL BOONE DIES.

But he was alive on NBC in the 1960s.  I'm confused.

1875:  THE FIRST SHRINERS TEMPLE IS ESTABLISHED IN NEW YORK CITY.

And so the funny hat was born.

1875:  ACTOR EDMUND GWENN IS BORN.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Kris Kringle.

1895:  ACTOR GEORGE RAFT IS BORN.

He wore those nifty spats in "Some Like It Hot."

1897:  POPE PAUL VI IS BORN.

Except that wasn't his name just yet.

1898:  COMPOSER GEORGE GERSHWIN IS BORN.

Rhapsody in Baby Blue.

1902:  CLOTHING MANUFACTURER LEVI STRAUSS DIES.

He didn't make it past the third washing.

1908:  ED REULBACH BECOMES THE FIRST AND ONLY PITCHER TO THROW TWO SHUTOUTS IN ONE DAY AGAINST THE BROOKLYN DODGERS.

Their pitching rotation was on twelve minutes rest.

1914:  EXERCISE EXPERT JACK LA LANNE IS BORN.

And, with all that healthy living, he still died last year.

1917:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THE BATTLE OF POLYGON WOOD BEGINS.

When do the Beatles start singing about Norwegian Wood?

1918:  TV HOST JOHN ZACHERLE IS BORN.

The host of WPIX-TV New York's "Chiller Theater."   There is no date of death listed next to his name, so he must still be with us at the age of 94.

1933:  ACTRESS DONNA DOUGLAS IS BORN.

Take your favorite critter down to the cement pond.

1934:  STEAMSHIP RMS QUEEN MARY IS LAUNCHED.

If this was like the Love Boat, I wonder who was on board along with Charo.

1948:  SINGER OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IS BORN.

If she married Elton John, she'd be shocked on her wedding night.

1950:  UNITED NATIONS TROOPS RECAPTURE SEOUL FROM NORTH KOREAN FORCES.

Hey, I knew these guys had Seoul.

1950:  INDONESIA IS ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.

Well, there goes the neighborhood.

1960:  THE FIRST TELEVISED DEBATE TAKES PLACE BETWEEN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES JOHN F. KENNEDY AND RICHARD NIXON.

"Mr. Nixon, please report to Make Up.  Mr. Nixon?  Mr. Nixon?  Mr. Nixon???"

1960:  FIDEL CASTRO ANNOUNCES CUBA'S SUPPORT FOR THE USSR.

Hey, have I got a missile for you?

1972:  RADIO STAR CHARLES CORRELL DIES.

He was on the radio as Amos.  Or was it Andy?  Either way, he was really White.

1981:  BASEBALL'S NOLAN RYAN SETS A MAJOR LEAGUE RECORD BY THROWING HIS FIFTH NO-HITTER.

And two no-hitters later.....

1984:  THE UNITED KINGDOM AGREES TO THE HANDOVER OF HONG KONG.

You can probably add the word "gladly" to that sentence.

2000:  ACTOR RICHARD MULLIGAN DIES.

That nest is really empty now.

2001:  POLISH WIKIPEDIA IS STARTED.

Wow, I have so many jokes for this that I can't pick just one.

2008:  ACTOR PAUL NEWMAN DIES.

What we have here is a failure to live one more day...

2010:  ACTRESS GLORIA STUART DIES.

She finally hit it back with an Oscar nomination for "Titanic" when she was 88.  Talk about persistence.  Died when she was 100, so please, nobody tells she got cheated.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just a sandwich.

Len's Recipe of the Month - September 2018

Ah, meat loaf.   The ultimate cool weather comfort food.

Truth be told, this dish has not been one of my successes.   Usually mine come out too dry.  Or fall apart completely as soon as you touch it.

Well, finally, I did it right.   And that is thanks to a recipe from Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa.   Flavorful and moist.   Plus it stayed pretty much intact.   I think the trick she uses is what ensures cohesiveness.   

Let's get started.

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

In a skillet, add a tablespoon of olive oil.   Saute about 3 cups of chopped yellow onions.   Mix in some chopped thyme, 2 teaspoons of kosher salt, and 1 teaspoon of ground black pepper.  Let this go for a few minutes and let the onions get translucent.  

Remove the onions from the heat and add the following:

3 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce.

1/3 cup of chicken stock or broth.

1 tablespoon of tomato paste.  (Those paste tubes are perfect when you need small amounts of tomato paste).   

Mix it all together and let it cool.

In a big bowl, place 2 1/2 pounds of ground chuck.   20 percent fat content is perfect.   To this, add a 1/2 cup of dry bread crumbs plus two beaten eggs.  Add the onion mixture.

Now the best way to mix this up is using a spoon or a fork.   You don't want to make the mixture so tight that it can't breathe.   

On a sheet pan lined with parchment paper, shape the loaf.   Take some ketchup and spread it all over the top.

Place in the oven.   Now here's the big trick.   On the rack below, place a pan filled with hot water.   This will give you the moistest meat loaf ever.  Let this go for one hour and 15 minutes or until the internal temperate is 160 degrees Fahrenheit.

Mine didn't fall apart.  I hope yours doesn't either.

Dinner last night:  Steak and pan roasted tomatoes.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - September 24, 2018

From "Road to Morocco."   Wait for the camel's unrehearsed move.   Hilarious.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Murphy Brown Continuum

Everything old is new again on television.  Since they can't find any new ideas that work, networks simply go back and refresh an old one.

This week, we get the return of "Murphy Brown" on CBS.  Almost twenty years after it went off the air.   I remember the timeline well because it totally corresponds to my life moving to Los Angeles.  Indeed, my very first days living in California were spent on Stage 4 at Warner Brothers.   This is where the first iteration of "Murphy Brown" was done.  (The new one is being shot in Astoria, Queens.)  My writing partner and I were trying to get a foothold into the business and, luckily, we had a friend who was a producer there.

So, as a result, we became fixtures on the "Murphy Brown" set for the final six episodes of the show's penultimate television season.  So much so that people actually said "good morning" to us, even though our jobs seemed to consist of doing nothing but sitting in the bleachers and watching the cast rehearse.  We took lunch at the same time the crew did and left for the day the same time the crew did.  I guess we were unpaid employees.

The memories of that special time ping pong around my head to this day.

Warner Brothers had this VIP Tour group that would amble into the soundstage from time to time.  Generally, somebody on the crew would take time to answer any questions from these Iowa hayseeds.  One day, folks were busy on the floor.  And we were just sitting idly nearby.  The tour guide turned to us.

"Can you answer some questions for my group?"

Ummm, yes.

And, since we had a few weeks under our belt here as insiders, we did.  I am guessing one of these yokels is back home in Bumfuck, Oklahoma, still reeling from the experience of conversing with us "Murphy Brown" insiders.

Veteran director Peter Bonerz was there for a couple of the weeks and he's a consummate pro.  One day, an old but totally recognizable face wandered onto the set.  I'd seen this guy on TV before.  He had a bit part that week and he was ready to rehearse.  Bonerz announced his presence.

"Everybody, this is Phil Leeds.  You all met him on your very first day in show business."

On another week, there would be a cameo appearance by former Texas Governor (and now dead) Ann Richards.  She only had about three lines, but she hung dutifully around the set.  In the bleachers.  Asleep in the chair next to me.  Sawing wood like a lumberjack.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Suddenly, a call went up for her from one of the stage managers.  The Governor was needed.  I looked over at the snoring politician.  I'd tap her gently awake, but then paused for a moment.  Can't startling somebody mid-snore give them a sudden coronary?  Did I really want to be the one responsible for the death of the former Governor of Texas? 

Oh, so what???  I woke her up.  And nothing happened.  She died in 2006 and I had nothing to do with it.

There was one episode planned that included a guest actor whose name I don't recall.  He was no big star, but, for some mystical reason, the Murphy producers switched around the whole production schedule to accommodate this guy.  Most notably, he was terrified of appearing in front of a live studio audience.  So, they filmed the show in pieces like a movie.  The whole week seemed off-kilter.  And, more importantly, the regular cast didn't show the usual energy they did on other weeks.  They clearly fed off the interplay with the live audience.  A completely different...and mediocre episode was the end result.

The cast was very friendly with us for the most part.  They saw us there every day and figured we had a damn good reason.  Somebody must be paying them for this, right?  One, however, was fairly snarky to us.  Joe Regalbuto who played reporter Frank Fontana.  We were wandering around by the craft services table and grabbing some snacks when he approached.

"Who are you?"

Excuse me.  We tried not to stammer and explained who we were friends with.

"Oh."

The following week, the scene played out again.  Same place.  The craft services table.  I was mid-chocolate-chip cookie.

"Who are you?"

Short term memory loss issues, Mr. Fontana?  I explained my existence one more time.

"Oh."

I told my friend that, if I ran into him again next week, I would ask him who he was.  I was told sternly not to.

That season, Lily Tomlin was part of the Murphy cast and she was perhaps the nicest person to chat up.  One day, my writing partner had left me alone in the bleachers for a longer time than usual.  He had a knack for wandering off and making little connections.  Fifteen minutes later, he returned.  I asked him where he had been.

"Eating Cheezits with Lily."

Oh. 

As it turned out, he was busy getting answers to a question that had been hanging over our heads for two years.  Prior to our California move, we had been flushing out some possible sitcom ideas with a New York production company shepherded by renowed journalist Linda Ellerbee.  (There will be some Memory Drawers on that relationship coming soon).  Somehow, Linda had made contact with Lily at some rubber chicken function and inquired about working with her.  In turn, this was brought to our attention by Ellerbee and we crafted a nifty sitcom idea that was perfect for Ms. Tomlin.

We handed it in to Linda and never heard a word about it.  We figured there was no interest on Lily's end.

Munching on cheese snacks, my partner asked Lily about the idea.

"I never saw it.  I was always wondering what happened to that."

Oh, well.  We probably should have pitched it right then and there.  Like the true cowards we were, we didn't.  Another Hollywood missed opportunity.

Before we knew it, the season was almost over.  There was only one more episode to film.

The finale of any TV show's season is almost like high school graduation night. Friends, relatives, doctors, lawyers, and Indian chiefs crawl out of the woodwork to suddenly be part of the celebration. Most of them hadn't been on the soundstage all year. But, suddenly, Joe Regalbuto's wife has this sudden urge to see what her husband has been really doing the past six months, besides accosting us at the craft services table. The onslaught of riff raff on this night created a potential dilemma that would have infuriated the Burbank Fire Department. There were too, too, too many people on Soundstage 4. And we were at the lowest of the lowest on the totem pole. There was no reason for us to be anywhere near the place on that Friday night.

But, our producer-friend had an ingenious solution. Since the only people with justification for being there beyond the studio audience were the actors, there was an easy fix. We would be extras in the show! And, not just goofballs standing idly off to the side. Nope, since we were so freakin' experienced, we were given the opportunity to do a "cross." Essentially be part of the active atmosphere while Candice Bergen and guest star Rue McClanahan did their dialogue at a scene in Phil's Bar.

That Friday afternoon, our scene was rehearsed multiple times. Cross behind Candice and Rue, open the door, exit. Cross behind Candice and Rue, open the door, exit. Cross behind Candice and Rue, open the door, exit. We knew it cold. We ate our pre-show meal with confidence.

Enter the studio audience and, before we knew it, it was time for Scene B. Our big appearance. First take. We crossed behind Candice and Rue, opened the door, and exited. Perfect. But, in sitcom land, all scenes are shot at least three times straight through so the editors have their choice of shots. Second take. We crossed behind Candice and Rue, opened the door, and exited. There was no need for us to vary our acting approach. Solid. But, then, there was the third take...

As we began our cross, my writing partner walked right into Candice's chair and gave it a bump. He knew he did it. I saw he did it. But, hopefully, 350 other people didn't notice. We kept moving. We opened the door and exited. We waited for the end of the scene and the director's call for all of us to "move on" to the next scene. As we stood outside Phil's, we heard no such call. Instead, there was a murmuring all around.

"He bumped the chair."

"The chair got knocked."

"We got to do it again."

"Bumped the chair."

"Bumped the chair."

"BUMPED THE CHAIR."

We felt like we had botched up the one take of Janet Leigh getting slashed in the shower.

So, in a rather unprecedented move, that scene was shot a fourth time. And my writing partner walked so gingerly around the chair, you would have thought he was entering a funeral parlor. I'm not sure what take they used, but the actual screen shot is below. I'm in the center of the frame. My chair-knocking partner is on the far left.


This would be our last week ever at "Murphy Brown," and that had nothing to do with our on-camera clumsiness. Indeed, we even pitched staff writing jobs for the final season, but the show opted to bring back many of the writers from the first three years. But, still, there was nothing like being a small part of a hit series.

When "our episode" aired six weeks later (during May sweeps, thank you very much), my pals on the East Coast got to see it first. And, at about 6:11PM Pacific time, the congratulatory calls started to pour in. Well, trickle in. My good friend, the Bibster, had taped it and analyzed our five second cross as if it had been shot by Abraham Zapruder.

Several years later, when "Murphy Brown" went into syndication, I waited in anticipation to relive my moment (our original tape had been mysteriously destroyed by my writing partner who didn't like the way his hair looked). Imagine my horror to discover that it had been cut out in order to make room for more Dulcolax commercials. Luckily, when Nick At Nite picked it up, our appearance was restored.

And, now, thanks to You Tube and a very scratchy audio, it's here for you to see.  That's me about two minutes and seven seconds into the clip.


A very special time of my life that will never ever be forgotten.

And the main reason I will be tuned into the reboot this coming Thursday. Heck, it's the only TV sitcom I ever appeared in.

Dinner last night:  Orange chicken from Feast of the East.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - September 2018

Hello, Gorgeous!   This came out to theaters fifty years ago this month.

Dinner last night:  Assorted appetizers at the Rooftop - Waldorf Astoria.

It's Never Too Early for a School Picture

 A big Justin Turner fan.

 Crying and it's not even October.

 Plaid will be in again...someday.

 President of the 4-H Club.

 She got way too close to that ceiling fan.

 Is that her hair or the Starship Enterprise.

 Has already been beaten up twice.

 Has already gotten laid twice.

 She subscribes to a big bang theory.

 How's everything in shop class?

 Yeah, Jake, we get it.  You're different.

Spotted in the playground outside.

Dinner last night: Meat loaf sandwich.

This Nap Brought To You By...

...Netflix.   Actually, this movie is one of those new ones that simultaneously open on-line and at the local theaters.   In the case of "The Land of Steady Habits," it was a choice of where to doze.   In my La-Z-Boy recliner or a stadium seat at the local cineplex.   I chose the former and that ensured my snoring would not disturb anybody.

Seriously, this movie is yet another piece of work that screams the question "who greenlit this shit?".  When I read a review about it, I was mildly intrigued.  It was a tale of suburban angst in the flavor of Ang Lee's "The Ice Storm."   Plus the cast included the always welcome Edie Falco and the always reliable Elizabeth Marvel ("Homeland).   It was 90 or so minutes long...a reasonable sit.  Why not?

An hour and a half later, I was asking why in the first place.   To say that nothing happens in "The Land of Steady Habits" is an understatement.   This thing was flat lining as soon as the Netflix "ta da" logo appeared.  

We immediately meet the main character, Anders, in the first frame.   He is shopping in Bed, Bath, and Beyond and they should immediately disavow this product placement.   He's just retired from his job in finance.   He's estranged from his wife (Falco) and their millennial son.   Stocking up his single guy condo, he winds up sleeping with an assortment of sales clerks.   You would think that, with all this sex, this film would be fun to watch.  

Um no.   The main reason for that is Ben Mendelsohn as Anders is such an unlikable character, you want him to disappear as quickly as he first appears. I have no clue what Mendelsohn has done in the past, but, in this one, all his scenes are done while he is seemingly sucking on a lemon.   Yep, that sour.

With all this suburban malaise in his life, Anders complicates matter by becoming an ally to a neighbor's drug addicted son.   I suppose this is Mid Life Crisis # 1246.   But, as this plays out, you've seen it all before.   1245 times.

Trust me on this one, folks.   Just because it's free on Netflix, you really should not succumb to watching "The Land of Steady Habits."   Unless, of course, you really need the sleep.

LEN'S RATING:  One-half star.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.

This Date in History - September 19

Happy birthday to The Man from U.N.C.L.E.  When you were on TV, girls in my class loved you.  And probably so did some of the more questionable boys.

335:  FLAVIUS DALMATIUS IS RAISED TO THE RANK OF CAESAR BY HIS UNCLE CONSTANTINE I.

If Flavius gets himself a big family, they might be 101 Dalmatius.

1676:  JAMESTOWN IS BURNED TO THE GROUND BY THE FORCES OF NATHANIEL BACON DURING HIS REBELLION.

Usually it's the Bacon that gets burned.

1692:  GILES COREY IS PRESSED TO DEATH AFTER REFUSED TO PLEAD IN THE SALEM WITHC TRAILS.

His family was told by the dry cleaner that he'd be ready after 5PM.

1778:  THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS PASSES THE FIRST BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES.

Back in the day when Congress actually did pass budgets.

1796:  GEORGE WASHINGTON'S FAREWELL ADDRESS IS PRINTED ACROSS AMERICA AS AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PUBLIC.

Today, it would be simply e-mailed as a .PDF.

1846:  TWO FRENCH SHEPHERD CHILDREN EXPERIENCE A MARIAN APPARITION ON A MOUNTAINTOP IN FRANCE, NOW KNOWN AS OUR LADY OF LA SALETTE.

There was a kid in my neighborhood who claimed to have a divine vision.  He was a lunatic.

1862:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION TROOPS UNDER GENERAL ROSENCRANS DEFEAT A CONFEDERATE FORCE COMMANDED BY GENERAL STERLING PRICE.

Now if Rosencrans had beat a general named Guildenstern.....

1870:  THE ITALIAN ARMY LAY SIEGE TO ROME, ENTERING THE CITY THE NEXT DAY, AFTER WHICH THE POPE DESCRIBED HIMSELF AS A PRISONER IN THE VATICAN.

There are probably less swanky places to be cooped up.

1881: US PRESIDENT JAMES A. GARFIELD DIES OF WOUNDS SUFFERED IN A JULY 2 SHOOTING.

Wow, that's over two months with a sitting President in a dire health situation.  I guess Alexander Haig was in charge.

1905:  WATERGATE SPECIAL PROSECUTOR LEON JAWORSKI IS BORN.

A man who never got a Christmas card from Richard Nixon.

1913:  ACTRESS FRANCES FARMER IS BORN.

Not to be confused with candymaker Fanny Farmer.

1926:  TV HOST JAMES LIPTON IS BORN.

During the birthing process, I wonder what his mother's favorite curse word was.

1926:  BASEBALL STAR DUKE SNYDER IS BORN.

If this had not happened, Terry Cashman would have had a hole at the end of the line..."Willie, Mickey, and.....and....and...."

1928:  ACTOR ADAM WEST IS BORN.

Actor?   Now that's a giggle for the morning.  Alas, now he's a dead one.

1933:  ACTOR DAVID MCCALLUM IS BORN.

Illya Kuryakin.  And I spelled that without looking it up, gang.

1934:  BRUNO HAUPTMANN IS ARRESTED FOR THE KIDNAP AND MURDER OF CHARLES LINDBURGH JR..

Dumkopf.

1941:  SINGER MAMA CASS ELLIOT IS BORN.

Who ordered the ham on rye?

1942:  SINGER FREDA PAYNE IS BORN.

Now that she's here, all we've got is a band of gold....

1942:  MAGAZINE PUBLISHER CONDE NAST DIES.

Who the hell names their kid Conde???

1944:  ARMISTICE BETWEEN FINLAND AND SOVIET UNION IS SIGNED.

How can you not get along with Finland???

1945:  LORD HAW HAW IS SENTENCED TO DEATH IN LONDON.

He?  Haw.

1946:  THE FIRST CANNES FILM FESTIVAL IS HELD.

Ladies, please remove your bikini tops.

1949:  MODEL TWIGGY IS BORN.

And please put on your bikini top.

1952:  THE UNITED STATES BARS CHARLIE CHAPLIN FROM RE-ENTERING THE COUNTRY AFTER A TRIP TO ENGLAND.

Is this any way to treat a comic genius???

1959:  NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV IS BARRED FROM VISITING DISNEYLAND DUE TO SECURITY CONCERNS.

No Fast Pass for him.

1961:  BETTY AND BARNEY HILL CLAIM THAT THEY SAW A MYSTERIOUS CRAFT IN THE SKY AND THAT IT TRIED TO ABDUCT THEM.

If you were a Martian, would you want to take home these two peckerwoods?

1972:  A PARCEL BOMB SENT TO ISRAELI EMBASSY IN LONDON KILLS ONE DIPLOMAT.

Do you need somebody to sign for this?

1978:  THE SOLOMON ISLANDS JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.

They apparently scraped up enough money for the dues.

1981:  SIMON AND GARFUNKEL REUNITE FOR A FREE CONCERT IN NEW YORK'S CENTRAL PARK.

I wasn't there, but I remember the day.  It was cold!

1985:  A STRONG EARTHQUAKE KILLS THOUSANDS AND DESTROYS ABOUT 400 BUILDINGS IN MEXICO CITY.

400 Mexican buildings?  That's an awful lot of paper mache.

1990:  CHOREOGRAPHER HERMES PAN DIES.

He doesn't pan out.

1995:  POPCORN MAKER ORVILLE REDENBACHER DIES.

It's been a long blog entry.  You write your own joke here.

2003:  SINGER SLIM DUSTY DIES.

Ashes to ashes, dusty to dusty.....

2006:  ACTRESS ELIZABETH ALLEN DIES.

I mention her here only because she was in one of my favorite TV shows, "Bracken's World."

2009:  PIANIST ARTHUR FERRANTE DIES.

Teicher?  Teicher?  Teicher?

2015:  AUTHOR JACKIE COLLINS DIES.

Author??  Hahahahahahahahaha.

Dinner last night: Hot dog at the Dodger game.

Abject Laziness

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a young (millennial) work associate.  He mentioned to me that he never ever goes to stores any more.   If he needs toiletries or socks or underwear, he simply goes on line and orders them from Amazon.

I was struck by this.   A very fit young man who was too lazy to go out to a store and buy some very basic incidentals.  I thought at the time.  How lazy can you get?

Well.  Kettle.  Black.   In 2018, I have become him.   And I love my life that is now virtually CVS and Macy's free.

How did this happen?  Well, very innocently.   I did not intentionally throw myself down the rabbit hole.   Instead, I tripped into it.

We all have standard toiletries that we use regularly.   One such item for me is Basis Soap.   Because of the hand eczema I experienced as a teenager, it was the only soap I could put on my hands without having a fierce allergic reaction to the embedded chemicals.  Basis Soap used to be easy to find in your chain drug stores.   Then, suddenly, not so much.   I found myself having CVS order it for me.

I happened to be on Amazon the next day looking for the very thing that Amazon was originally famous for...a book.   I decided to search for Basis Soap and found a bulk package that was decidedly cheaper than what CVS was charging me for ordering it.  Hmm.  If I buy this right now on Amazon, I will be teeming in Basis Soap for the very next year.

And that's how it began.  Anything I needed from CVS, I would now purchase via my spanking new Amazon Prime account.   Most times, the item would show up the next day.

I soon branched out to small items of clothing.   I was traveling to New York on business and realized that two pairs of blue dress socks had holes in them.   I was leaving in two days and didn't really have the time to fight the parking system at the local mall.   Oh, good.   Amazon has the Gold Toe over-the-calf socks I like.

Order.

I needed underwear.

Order.

I needed deodorant.

Order.

Click, click, click. 
Then there's the annual Amazon Prime Day.   I treat myself to a new kitchen appliance once a year and I do my research first before submitting to my cart on Amazon.

Order.

Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised that I have become this person.   After all, I have not bought clothing except on Eddie Bauer for almost two decades.   I know their apparel.  I know how it fits.   That's been a shopping mainstay with me for years.

But the small items like Q-Tips and toothpaste?

Yes, I now feature complete and unmitigated abject laziness.

Oh, I'm not a complete hermit.   I still do all my grocery shopping in person.   I need to look at the food first hand.   Check the marbling on that steak.

But, wait, I just got a mailing from some place called Butcher Box.

Hmmm.   

Oh, screw it.   I need some fresh air.   Find me is Aisle 13 at Ralph's.   I'm not THAT lazy.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.