Classic Musical Production Number of the Month - November 2019

Woot woot!  A five Saturday month gives us the opportunity to sample a great musical production number from the past.  And I am really digging deep for this wonderfully infectious number featuring Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland in "Strike Up The Band."

Dinner last night:  Leftover Thanksgiving.

Your Annual Black Friday Shopping Guide

Courtesy of yours truly.  There's absolutely no need to deal with the crazy crowds clogging up the malls and their adjacent parking lots.  In fact, if you are a friend of mine, you would have enough sense than to be out there in that mess populated by the great unwashed public.  

Here's my annual gift to you.   I've picked out some of the goofiest gifts available.  Trust me.   If you give your friend one of these beauties, you'll never have to buy that person a holiday gift ever again.   Because...you will no longer be friends.   It's always good to thin the herd periodically.

 Okay, how freakin' lazy are you if you think this is a useful gift?

If you could put bacon on any skin lacerations, I might be cutting myself on a daily basis.

A nifty pill dispenser.  Because everybody knows at least one person addicted to prescription pain killers.

 Ideal for that farmer-friend whose chickens are overworked.

 Isn't this a little bit too much work to open a jar?

For the friend who loves beef jerky.  And the ability to dry the shit out of any piece of food.

 Does your cat need to put in a quarter to get fed?

 Food warmers that you stick to your feet.   Well, you could also buy shoes.

Because womens' nails don't dry fast enough.  Stick your hands in here.  Healing ointment not included.

Don't lose your reading glasses.  Keep them on these gnomes.   And then, of course, remember where you put the damn gnomes.

 No matter how big the print is, you're still overdrawn.

For the family that is too stupid to recognize common household appliances, let convenient signs help you.

Dinner last night:  The classic Thanksgiving Day dinner - Roast turkey breast, stuffing, green bean casserole, small red roasted potatoes, glazed carrots, and Nutella pie.

The Thanksgiving Day Blog Tradition

It's Turkey Lurkey Time from the musical "Promises, Promises."   This time from an underrated movie called "Camp."   Have a great day, everybody.  Easy on the giblets.

Dinner last night:  Teriyaki ramen noodles.

This Date in History - November 27

Happy birthday, Barbara Anderson.  I remember you from "Ironside."  So do my hormones.

176:  EMPEROR MARCUS AURELIUS GRANTS HIS SON COMMODUS THE RANK OF IMPERATOR.

Commodus? Later the toilet bowl?

395:  RUFINUS, PRAETORIAN PREFECT OF THE EAST, IS MURDERED BY GOTHIC MERCENARIES.

Well, nobody is prefect.

602:  EMPEROR MAURICE IS FORCED TO WATCH HIS FIVE SONS BE EXECUTED BEFORE BEING BEHEADED HIMSELF.

Well, that's a lot of news for their upcoming Christmas newsletter.

1095:  POPE URBAN II DECLARES THE FIRST CRUSADE AT THE COUNCIL OF CLERMONT.

What was this Pope's last name?  Blight?  Legend?

1295:  THE FIRST ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES FROM LANCASHIRE ARE CALLED TO WESTMINSTER BY KING EDWARD I TO ATTEND A "MODEL PARLIAMENT."

As opposed to a "model Winston" or a "model Newport."

1727:  THE FOUNDATION STONE TO THE JERUSALEM'S CHURCH IN BERLIN IS LAID.  

So even stones can be sluts.

1830:  ST. CATHERINE LABOURE EXPERIENCES A VISION OF THE BLESSED BIRGIN STANDING ON A GLOBE, CRUSHING A SERPENT WITH HER FEET, AND EMANATING RAYS OF LIGHT FROM HER HANDS.

That's a little too specific for me.

1835:  JAMES PRATT AND JOHN SMITH ARE HANGED IN LONDON.  THEY ARE THE LAST TWO TO BE EXECUTED FOR SODOMY IN ENGLAND. 

The ones that followed were all elected into government.

1839:  IN BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, THE AMERICAN STATISTICAL ASSOCIATION IS FOUNDED.

And, on this day, somebody starts with the number 1.

1863:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION FORCES UNDER GENERAL GEORGE MEADE POSITION AGAINST TROOPS FROM THE SOUTH.

Also under the General---Mrs. Meade.

1868:  UNITED STATES ARMY LIEUTENANT COLONEL GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER LEADS AN ATTACK ON CHEYENNE.

Pissing them off for a future last stand.

1895:  IN PARIS, ALFRED NOBEL SIGNS HIS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT, SETTING ASIDE HIS ESTATE TO ESTABLISH THE NOBEL PRIZE.

This used to be a big deal when they announced the winners.   But when they gave it to Durward Kirby, I was done.

1916:  SPORTSCASTER CHICK HEARN IS BORN.

Who names their kid "Chick?"

1917:  TV HOST BUFFALO BOB SMITH IS BORN.

And I looked it up.  He really was born in Buffalo.

1924:  IN NEW YORK CITY, THE FIRST MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE IS HELD.

And the very first balloon was Felix the Cat.   For those in the American Statistical Association who are keeping track.

1925:  ACTOR MARSHALL THOMPSON IS BORN.

TV's Daktari!!!

1934:  BANK ROBBER BABY FACE NELSON DIES IN A SHOOTOUT WITH THE FBI.

He had the cutest little.....

1940:  ACTOR BRUCE LEE IS BORN.

A chop off the old block.

1942:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE FRENCH NAVY SCUTTLES ITS SHIPS AND SUBMARINES TO KEEP THEM OUT OF NAZI HANDS.

It never ceases to amaze me how cowardly the French are.

1942:  ROCK STAR JIMI HENDRIX IS BORN.

Everybody say "high."

1945:  ACTRESS BARBARA ANDERSON IS BORN.

She disappeared after only a few years on television.  Another woman that I had wished was my mother.

1953:  PLAYWRIGHT EUGENE O'NEILL DIES.

A long day's journey into casket.

1954:  ALGER HISS IS RELEASED FROM PRISON AFTER SERVING 44 MONTHS FOR PERJURY.

Boo Hiss.

1957:  AUTHOR CAROLINE KENNEDY IS BORN.

So, yes, her birthday was ruined six years later.

1965:  THE PENTAGON TELLS US PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON THAT IF PLANNED OPERATIONS ARE TO SUCCEED, THE NUMBER OF AMERICAN TROOPS IN VIETNAM HAD TO BE QUADRUPLED.

And, stupid fool that he was, he listened to them.

1968:  PENNY ANN EARLY BECAME THE FIRST WOMAN TO PLAY MAJOR PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL IN AN ABA GAME.

She's still with us so she's not yet the late Penny Ann Early.

1973:  THE US SENATE VOTES 92 TO 3 TO CONFIRM GERALD FORD AS VICE PRESIDENT.

And the three were?

1978:  IN SAN FRANCISCO, CITY MAYOR GEORGE MOSCONE AND GAY CITY SUPERVISOR HARVEY MILK ARE KILLED BY FORMER SUPERVISOR DAN WHITE.

Don't cry over spilled Moscone.

1981:  SINGER LOTTE LENYA DIES.

The big villain versus James Bond in "From Russia With Love."  Oh, yeah, and she did a bunch of other stuff.

1990:  ACTOR DAVID WHITE DIES.

Larry Tate from TV's "Bewitched."

2004:  POPE JOHN PAUL II RETURNS THE RELICS OF SAINT JOHN CHRYSOSTOM TO THE EASTERN ORTHODOX CHURCH.

Who knew he even had them??

2005:  THE FIRST PARTIAL HUMAN FACE TRANSPLANT IS COMPLETED IN FRANCE.

So there is hope for the Phantom of the Opera after all.

2012:  UNION LEADER MARVIN MILLER DIES.

Led the strikes of the players against Major League Baseball.  For ruining my summer, you're getting what you deserve.

2015:  A SHOOTING AT A PLANNED PARENTHOOD FACILITY IN COLORADO SPRINGS.  FOUR COPS ARE KILLED.

Unplanned Death.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

Hollywood Then and Now 2019

This month's installment of seeing how much Hollywood hasn't changed features my very favorite episode of my very favorite sitcom.  "I Love Lucy."  The episode in question is "LA At Last."  It's the first one where the Ricardos and the Mertzes arrive in Hollywood.   You know.  The Brown Derby scene with William Holden and Lucy lighting her nose on fire.  Brilliance.

But, at the very beginning of the episode, there is some stock footage following them on a drive around LA and ultimately pulling up to their Hollywood hotel "The Beverly Carlton."

Except the hotel isn't in Hollywood.  It's on Olympic Boulevard about a mile away from my LA home.

I noticed the similarity a few years ago when driving to my favorite German delicatessen.  Hmm.  That entrance to the Avalon Hotel looks very, very familiar.

I went home and ran the DVD version of the episode.  And sure enough.   

Somebody already beat me to it on the internet.  Look at the side-by-side comparison.  The fire hydrant is still there on the corner.   

This is the kind of history that never gets old.   And there's more to be found.  Stay tuned.

Dinner last night: Leftover brats and red cabbage,

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 25, 2019

Time to fire up that Thanksgiving oven.

Dinner last night:  Grilled brats and red cabbage.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade With Me

You can.  Well, sort of.   These days, my Thanksgiving mornings are spent cooking.   I am usually up by 830AM, sauteing sausage, onions, and celery so I can start making the stuffing in the slow cooker.

But, I've only had a Thanksgiving chef hat in recent years.  Most of my life, I was parked in front of the television.   And gaping at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  And that brings to mind this sidebar comment.

Some years back, I was actually asked this question by a work colleague in New York.

"When is the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?"

I replied that I was not sure. October sometime?

The idiot said, "Oh," and walked away. I made a mental note never to speak to that person ever again.

Okay, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is an integral part of the holiday's celebration. Right along with football, cranberries, and a post-dinner nap on the couch with your pants unbuttoned. And, for the complete sensory experience, you have to watch the parade on television with either one of two smells emanating from your kitchen. The aforementioned sauteed onions for stuffing. Or a pumpkin pie baking in the oven. It all goes hand in hand.

When I was a kid, I was totally into the balloons, because they were all my favorite cartoon characters. 

Popeye. 

Bullwinkle. 

Bugs Bunny. 

Somewhere along the way, Macy's went off the track and started devoting balloons to commercial sponsors. Because I'm a big fan of the Snuggle Bear? When you're ten years old, you really don't give a shit about what fabric softener your mother is using.

Back in my youthful days, the parade was always hosted by Lorne Greene and Betty White and they were delightful. Later on, they were replaced by the idiots from the "Today Show," who introduced every float as written on the cue cards. It all became a lot less spontaneous. 

"Guess who's coming, kids? I can see his sleigh." 

Duh.

I dreamed always of going to the Macy's parade one year. Of course, this would never happen as it fell totally into my father's tried and true trilogy of excuses.

"It's too crowded."

"It's too far to drive."

"It's too hot and/or cold."

Thanks, Dad. Again.

It would be years later that I would finally see the parade live. Up close and in person. And I would do so for five Thanksgivings in a row.

A company I worked for in New York had offices on Broadway. Third floor directly opposite the Ed Sullivan Theater. With picture windows that were ideal for parade viewing. It became an annual party for employees and clients plus their kids. A continental breakfast was served and then folks would line the windows as soon as the first drum roll was heard.

We were eye level with the balloons. And, despite the fact all these rubber creatures were now nothing more than commercial placements, they were still spectacular to look at. And it was also a great way to see just how broken down they were. The number of patches were plentiful as they did their best to keep the air from going out of Snoopy's ass. It obviously required a lot of surgery to get Underdog through Times Square every year.

Up in our penthouse of viewing, we were above the hordes on the street. Folks down there brought their own ladders in an attempt to get a better look. It was fun for us to watch the ladder climbers eventually fall off their perches sometime during the morning. While the parade was certainly the main attraction, the curbside morons were a delectable side show.

One year, one of our sales managers (sadly he has since passed away) was standing next to me at the window. We started cracking wise about some of the Hollywood has-beens that always seem to show up in the parade. Before you knew it, we were getting laughs up and down the row of windows. A ha! An audience. Our color commentary was appreciated.

"Ah, Joanne Worley is the old woman in the shoe. She has a lot of children and no real career since Laugh-In."

"When do we tie some strings to Al Roker and float him down Broadway?"

"The Popeye balloon has a big tear down his crotch. Must have been a rough night with Olive."

Betty White and Lorne Greene were never like this. 

The next year, one of our annual guests, a young boy, came up to me.

"Are you and that guy going to make jokes again this year?"

There was a look of hope on the kid's face.

"We would be happy to."

And another holiday tradition was born. And I was a heck of a lot funnier than Matt Lauer when he was working it.   He isn't doing the parade anymore.

Ahem.

Dinner last night:  Fried chicken sandwich at the Arclight.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - November 2019

This classic premiered sixty years ago this month.   A must-see for the holiday season.

Dinner last night:  The last of the leftover turkey chili.

Your Holiday Weekend Movie Guide for November 2019

This was the first big holiday movie sixty years ago.  And it opened sixty years ago this month.  The most glorious and lushest of all Biblical epics.  People flocked to see this in theaters in 1959 because you couldn't see that chariot race on an episode of "Wagon Train."

What will be the big draws this holiday season which always begins with some releases around the Thanksgiving week?  Will we be running to see something of the ilk of  "Ben-Hur?"  Dream on, Spunky.  You know the monthly drill, ladies and germs.  I'll wander through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my gut reaction to the newest releases.

Just so you know.  I am guessing the best things to see this week will be whatever is on TCM.  Or in your DVD collection.   Hey, it might even be Charlton Heston and company.

Harriet:  It ain't a movie with Ozzie, Ricky, and David.

The Good Liar:  Anybody in Washington these days.

Jo Jo Rabbit:  I hear good things about this irreverent comedy.  Once I see it, blog review will follow.

Marriage Story:  Read the fine print on the poster.   It's on Netflix in two weeks.

The Irishman:  See "Marriage Story."   Plus I heard it's like ten days long.

Parasite:  Recently reviewed here.   A Hitchcock movie from Korea.

Honey Boy:  Shia LaBoeuf stars in this, so expect somebody to get sucker punched.

The Report:  Read the fine print on the poster.  You can also watch this on Amazon Prime.

Waves:  An African-American family in the suburbs endures a tragic loss.  Okay, you got me.  I'll skip it.

Ford V Ferrari:   The trailer looked dull and I have virtually zero interest in anything automotive.

Last Christmas:   George Michael's song turns into a rom com.  Good that he's not alive to hear that.

The Lighthouse:  One of those titles that screams..."this movie is dull."

Charlie's Angels:  I'm still trying to figure out what happened to Kate Jackson.

Doctor Sleep:   It's never good to put the word "sleep" into the title of your movie.

Joker:  Reviewed here recently.   A slow, slow, slow character study.   Did I say it was slow?

Terminator - Dark Fate:  Maybe it was better off having Arnold as Governor.

Midway:  If my dad was alive, he would take me to this movie.  But he's not.

Age Out:  A foster child turns to crime.  Don't they all?

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood:  A friend of mine is convinced Mister Rogers was a creepy pedophile.  I don't think you will see that in this film.

Dark Waters:  Mark Ruffalo as a lawyer vs. a large chemical company.  Paging Jacoby and Meyers.

Frozen II:  I hated the first one so this sequel can go ahead and melt.

21 Bridges:  A detective looks for a NYPD cop killer.  With DeBlasio as mayor, he'll be busy for years.

3022:  I still haven't seen 2001.

The Courier:  A female motorcycle messenger fights a crime boss.  BTW, I miss the Sopranos.

Mickey and the Bear:  A teenager cares for her veteran dad who has a substance abuse problem.  Ah, a musical.

Hala:  A Chicago teen deals with her strict Muslim upbringing.   Hope she doesn't live on the South Side.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

Len's Jukebox of the Month - November 2019

Always looking for new monthly features to install, I'm happy to bring you this premiere installment.

Once a month, I will present to you one of my favorite songs of all time.   These are the tunes that I never ever get tired of.   Enjoy them as I do.

First up, this incredibly lush tune from the late Glen Campbell.  Is there a better opening to a song that this one?


Dinner last night:  Leftover turkey chili.

This Date in History - November 20

The first birthday in heaven for Kaye Ballard.  A lady who actually hosted me for lunch at her home.

284:  DIOCLETIAN IS CHOSEN AS ROMAN EMPEROR.

Diocletian sounds like something you would take for allergies.

1194:  PALERMO IS CONQUERED BY EMPEROR HENRY VI.

Hey, if you want to conquer some place, Palermo is really nice.

1407:  A TRUCE BETWEEN JOHN THE FEARLESS, DUKE OF BURGUNDY AND LOUIS OF VALOIS, DUKE OF ORLEANS IS AGREED UNDER THE AUSPICES OF JOHN, DUKE OF BERRY.

The Duke of Earl was busy?

1518:  SOLDIER MARMADUKE CONSTABLE DIES.

Do I actually need to type the obvious joke here?

1739:  START OF THE BATTLE OF PORTO BELLO BETWEEN BRITISH AND SPANISH FORCES DURING THE WAR OF JENKINS' EAR.

Why fight over somebody's ear?  Especially in a town famous for mushrooms.

1789:  NEW JERSEY BECOMES THE FIRST US STATE TO RATIFY THE BILL OF RIGHTS.

As if they're smarter than anybody else.

1820:  AN 80 TON SPERM WHALE ATTACKS THE ESSEX.  THIS INSPIRES THE WRITING OF "MOBY DICK."

You're gonna need a bigger book.

1861:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, SECESSION ORDINANCE IS FILED BY KENTUCKY.  

Well, then fine.  Go.  We'll hold the Derby elsewhere.

1900:  CARTOONIST CHESTER GOULD IS BORN.

Calling Dick Tracy.

1907:  ACTRESS FRAN ALLISON IS BORN.

Paging Kukla and Ollie.

1913:  COMIC JUDY CANOVA IS BORN.

She was Minnie Pearl before Minnie Pearl was Minnie Pearl.

1917:  UKRAINE IS DECLARED A REPUBLIC.

You care?   Anybody?

1921:  LAWYER JIM GARRISON IS BORN.

Back and to the left.  Back and to the left.  Two days and forty two years later, this guy's career got a big boost.

1923:  RENTENMARK REPLACES THE PAPIERMARK AS THE OFFICIAL CURRENCY OF GERMANY.

And the official grocery store would be Pathmark.

1925:  ACTRESS KAYE BALLARD IS BORN.

Nice lady.  I was on her Christmas card list for two years.  I peed in her guest bathroom while staring at a Red Skelton original painting that was hung over the toilet.

1925:  ROBERT F. KENNEDY IS BORN.

Gee, his 38th birthday weekend really sucked.

1932:  GAME SHOW HOST RICHARD DAWSON IS BORN.

Survey says!!!!!

1942:  VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN IS BORN.

Yes, Dan Quayle was a dummy.  But this guy just might be the most stupid Vice President ever.  Google his mistakes.  Your computer will crash.

1945:  BASEBALL STAR/ANNOUNCER RICK MONDAY IS BORN.

And don't ever try to burn an American flag in front of him.

1945:   AT NUREMBERG, TRIALS AGAINST 24 NAZI WAR CRIMINALS BEGIN.

I smell a movie.

1947:  THE PRINCESS ELIZABETH MARRIES LIEUTENANT PHILIP MOUNTBATTEN, WHO BECOMES THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH IN LONDON.

The crown's in the mail.

1962:  THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS OFFICIALLY ENDS WHEN PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY ENDS THE QUARANTINE OF CUBA.

I thought it was 13 days in October.   At least, that was the title of the movie.

1969:  THE CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER PUBLISHES EXPLICIT PHOTOGRAPHS OF DEAD VILLAGES FROM THE MY LAI MASSACRE IN VIETNAM.

That's not My Lai, it's yours.

1973:  COMIC ALLAN SHERMAN DIES.

Hello Rigor.  Hello Mortis.

1977:  EGYPTIAN PRESIDENT ANWAR SADAT BECOMES THE FIRST ARAB LEADER TO OFFICIALLY VISIT ISRAEL WHEN HE MEETS MENACHEM BEGIN TO DISCUSS A PEACE SETTLEMENT.

How many times have I typed a sentence like this over the years?  And still no peace.

1985:  MICROSOFT WINDOWS 1.0 IS RELEASED.

Well, there had to be a first version at some point.

1992:  IN ENGLAND, A FIRE BREAKS OUT IN WINDSOR CASTLE, BADLY DAMAGING THE CASTLE.

What's London's version of State Farm?

1998:  A COURT IN AFGHANISTAN DECLARES ACCUSED TERRORIST OSAMA BIN LADEN A "MAN WITHOUT SIN" IN REGARD TO THE 1998 US EMBASSY BOMBINGS IN KENYA AND TANZANIA.

That's a good lawyer for you.

2001:  IN WASHINGTON DC, US PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH DEDICATES THE US DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE HEADQUARTERS AS THE ROBERT F. KENNEDY BUILDING.

Aw, how nice.  And on his birthday.

2006:  DIRECTOR ROBERT ALTMAN DIES.

D*E*A*D*.

2008:  AFTER THE US FINANCIAL SYSTEM COLLAPSE, THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE REACHES ITS LOWEST LEVEL SINCE 1997.

When everybody's 401 K became a 201 J.

2010:  BASEBALL PLAYER DANNY MCDEVITT DIES.

He pitched and won the last game ever to played in Brooklyn's Ebbets Field.

Dinner last night:  Caesar salad.

A Movie Review and A Little Commentary

A friend of mine devoted a chunk of money to the makers of this documentary and one of the perks she got, besides a nifty screen credit, was an invitation for two to the LA premiere of "No Safe Spaces."  One of those Hollywood nights that can't be resisted.  

This very thoughtful film is the brainchild of radio and podcast personalities Adam Carolla and Dennis Prager and clearly on the conservative side of things.  My friend is a big fan of Prager and his on-air personality is not of the contemptible, mean-spirited ilk that liberals would portray.  He strikes me as thoughtful, smart, and logical.   

Well, "No Safe Spaces" is almost as thoughtful, smart, and logical.  It's all about free speech and the growing lack of it in America, especially on college campuses.  While the documentary does touch both sides of the argument, it clearly sits in the conservative dugout on the ball field.   And rightfully so as recent events at such lunatic asylums as Berkeley demonstrate.  All conservative opinions are viewed as hate speech from bigots, homophobes, and any other categories that are registered as being non-liberal.

Indeed, if I had a child of college age right now, I would be very, very, very careful to send that student to a university that presents a balanced curriculum.  If a kid wants to be conservative or liberal, let it be their own choice and not one indoctrinated by the faculty.  I've seen it in my private sphere.   A college friend is now a professor at a major university.  I see his Twitter account.   I would not let my child be a student in any one of his classes.

The film makers lay out the arguments perfectly.  Sure, it's on one very distinct side of the aisle.  But it still lets you formulate your own opinion.  And that's the point of what should be happening on our college campuses.

Sadly, it is not.

Going to the premiere of this movie, which has a message that deserves to achieve a following, was enlightening in some other ways.

I sit in Los Angeles which is predominantly liberal in thinking.  Actually, it's that one-party rule which is pretty much sinking the whole state at this juncture.   But I am surrounded by prattle from non-moderate thinkers and it's almost sickening to hear.   My own pastor, sadly a graduate from the aforementioned nut house called Berkeley, bloviates on and on about the civil war that Trump will be starting in 2020 with secret messages embedded in speeches directed at White supremacists.   She talks about the villainous white men that are running this country on the right.

So, I go to this premiere and I survey the demographics of the well-dressed crowd.   

I would say half the room was under the age of 35.  

I saw diversity.

I saw women.

I saw all the things that the left would say does not exist on the right.

With a documentary like this, eyes can be opened.  Because when I see all sorts of folks embracing other ideas, there is hope for America.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover turkey chili.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 18, 2019

As a prelude to the upcoming Tom Hanks movie, I present...

Dinner last night:  Turkey chili.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thinking About My Movie Palaces, Part 3

Wrapping up my movie palace memories with some snapshots of other theaters I frequented with my family and friends when I was a kid.  While some of these are not the ornate palaces that the Mount Vernon, New York RKO and Loews were, they all conjure up very distinct and warm thoughts from my childhood.

Because my family had their roots in the Bronx and we lived very close to that borough, it was natural for us to occasionally venture there for some movies that didn't hit our hometown houses.  Take, for instance, the theater above.  

The Wakefield located on the corner of White Plains Road and 233rd Street.  Right underneath the IRT elevated tracks.  Actually, the train whizzing by noisily was part of the ambience as you watched your film.  I remember seeing "The Guns of Navarone" there with my dad.   Later on, it was a walkable journey for me and my neighborhood chums as we got older and could venture more than two blocks from our front yards.   It was at the Wakefield where my neighborhood best bud Leo and I saw...gasp..."Midnight Cowboy."  And if you look at the photo above, I do believe the shoe repair place was owned and operated by Leo's uncle.

The Wakefield is now a church.

Further down on White Plains Road was the Laconia theater near 225rd Street.  It was across the street from John the Barber where my dad took me for haircuts.   We didn't frequent the Laconia as much as the others, although I do recall a very rainy day when my mom took me and the aforementioned Leo to see "The Absent Minded Professor."   I remember the two of us being dressed in those ugly yellow grade school raincoats.  One reason why the Laconia fell off our radar screen is because the neighborhood changed and, according to my father, there were too many...never mind.    Another reason is that the Laconia distinctly changed the fare it was offering.

Not exactly Fred MacMurray and his flying Model T.

Heading back to Mount Vernon, we have on the opposite side of town...the Parkway Theater.  It was likely built in the 40s and had a more modern feel than the other palaces in town.

One of the cool features of the Parkway was a very modernistic smoking lounge downstairs which featured plastic spaceship-like seats that looked like they came from the Mike Douglas TV show.  I've got some distinct memories of a few films seen here.  On one of my birthdays, my mom took me and two classmates here to see "Mary Poppins."  Many moons later, my movie pal Leo and I came here to see "The Exorcist."   The Parkway did last much longer than the other Mount Vernon theaters as I do remember seeing "Ferris Bueller" there.  

But the Parkway is gone.  Dead.  And fitting that it is now....

Moving over to the neighboring Yonkers were two more theaters in walking distance when I was a kid.

The Kimball Theater on Yonkers Avenue was interesting as it was the only movie palace around that featured Saturday afternoon kiddie matinees.  Usually a cartoon, an Abbott and Costello film, and then some vintage horror movie.  This was a frequent...ahem...haunt for me and my grade school buddy Russell.  Years later, I remember seeing "The Odd Couple" there with Leo.  The Kimball eventually shuttered and became...

Even this picture is about 16 or 17 years old as I think the whole thing has burned to the ground.

Now it's nothing.

The movie house that was the longest walk for us was the Kent Theater on McLean Avenue in Yonkers.   I don't remember going there until I was a junior or senior in high school.  I guess that, at some point, I drove there.  I do recall one film I saw there with my neighborhood friend Dolores.   It was "Airport," the very first of the disaster films.  It wasn't a date, but it might have been the first time I went to a movie with a girl.

The Kent was a second run house and that's where you went if you missed seeing the big movies on the RKO or Loews circuit.  Look closely.  I think that's "White Christmas" on the marquee which would mean this is late 1954 or early 1955.  It was a small theater but had a sort of charm that you couldn't escape.  There was also a big clock on the wall that was lit with an advertisement from a local jeweler.  You always knew what time it was at the Kent.  This place died pretty much while I was in college.  These days...

You can still see the tudor awning on the left.  But not the Kent.

But not all the theaters of my past years are gone.  Gloriously, the Bronxville is still there across from the Metro North train station.   I feel so partial to this theater that I will go there to see something even if it is playing in a movie house closer.

Truth be told, I never knew this movie theater existed until I was in college.   I think the first thing I saw there was with my high school best friend Danny..."The Heartbreak Kid" with Charles Grodin.   I remember being astounded that such a marvelous theater had been so close to Mount Vernon and I never went there previously.   It even had the earliest form of stadium seating in the back.

But, since nice things can't last forever, they carved up this auditorium into three screens sometime in the late 70s.   It lost so much charm and history as a result.  Still, I will frequent it mainly because it is still around.  And apparently doing well.

When they tore down the Mount Vernon theaters, the closest one we had near us was the General Cinema theater on Central Avenue in Yonkers.  I think it went up in the 60s and had that new-ish kind of feel.  This was a movie house updated for the Pepsi generation.  Two big auditoriums side-by-side and with balconies.  There was a cool water fountain in the lobby.   It wasn't Loews in Mount Vernon, but it had to suffice.  Plus it was so special that it played movies that were still playing down in Manhattan.   For instance...

I remember my pal Danny and I seeing this Christmas week and we panicked when we smelled smoke in the theater.  Turns out we were sitting close to that old relic...the smoking section.

This movie house was also where I happened to be on opening day of...ta da..."Star Wars."  The movie was playing on both screens there.   

Sadly, they carved the place up into four screens sometime in the 80s.   And, to make matters worse, they shut off the damn water fountain.

Oddly, even this theater couldn't last and closed down a few years back.  Because, after all, we absolutely need one more of these stores...

Woot woot.  We can throw a party but there's nothing left to celebrate when it comes to the movie palaces of our youth.

If there happens to be one still operating near you, please, please, please go there.  And visit often.  That is the only way we can keep them alive.

Dinner last night:  A rarity for me---Big Mac and fries.