Len's Jukebox of the Month - March 2020

A childhood memory.   This was a big Top 40 hit.   My mother used to sing along in Japanese.   Not that she knew any Japanese to begin with.   

It's an infectious song and this might be the safest way to experience Asia these days.   The singer Kyu Sakamoto was pretty popular, until he was killed in a plane crash on his way to a concert.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chicken Saltimbocca.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 30, 2020

The best of the Monday Morning Video Laughs concludes with this wedding ceremony.

Whoops.

Dinner last night:   Chicken Saltimbocca.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Dodger Stadium Opening Weekend 2011

Apparently, nine years ago, I chronicled the first weekend of the baseball season.   Sadly, I couldn't do the same this year, what with the pandemic and all.

So I have decided to include it here as a bit of a wistful time capsule.   I know the 2020 baseball season will have an opening day eventually.   For now, I take you back to....2011.  And I had forgotten some of the unfortunate news that circulated around that opening weekend at Dodger Stadium.   I get to it at the end of the post.   

The Dodgers took three of four games (I was at all three wins) versus the world champion San Francisco Giants and that is always a good thing regardless of the time of year.  But, to do so in the very first home series, this is indeed Christmas in April.  Well, actually, thanks to ESPN, late March/early April.

Opening Day began at my home.  As the photo shows, it's all about selecting the proper attire from my vast Dodger wardrobe.  Clayton Kershaw was starting, so, of course, his jersey is worn.  But, to honor the then-new manager's first game ever, a Mattingly T-shirt was worn underneath.  Yes, I can be that strange.

It's hard to tell from this parking lot snapshot, but there's snow on them thar mountains in the distance.  This is likely the first time I've gone to an opening day with visible white stuff around.  Okay, that would be the first time it's happened to me on the WEST COAST.

Of course, it ain't a baseball party unless the Goodyear Blimp is overhead.

The view from my season seats is still one of the best in the house.

That's Placido Domingo getting set to sing the National Anthem on Opening Day.  The very next night, it was American Idol's Jordin Sparks.  Talk about a wildly swinging pendulum.  From this distance, Placido looks like your typical singing barber.

Gave proof through the night that there was some smoke there...

The requisite stealth bomber fly-over.  Something you don't see every day.  Unless, of course, you're stationed in Libya or Afghanistan.

On Friday night, it was time to eat with the fancy napkins.  My first pre-game Stadium Club buffet of the year.  The best dining experience in Los Angeles.

You can eat outside and watch some Giant pitcher do his bullpen session down below.  It gets a little bright out there and you end up squinting at your meal.

Do what I do and eat inside.  They had the Mets-Marlins opener on the big screen.  Ideal for this bi-coastal baseball fan.

There are fireworks every Friday night this season.  They always remind me of the opening credits from "The Honeymooners."

"...Audrey Meadows.....and Joyce Randolph."

Looks like fun, heh?  So, you might be asking, how is it that all I heard over the weekend was how dangerous a dump Dodger Stadium can be?

Lots of media attention was devoted to a rather horrific act that took place in the parking lot after Thursday's opener.  Two barbaric Dodger fans apparently beat some Giants fan senseless.  Okay, the obvious joke there is an oxymoron, but this is not a laughable situation.  Violence of any shape or form at a baseball stadium or its environs is detestable.  Catch those bastards and string 'em up.  Immediately.

That said, once the press and, most notably, the Los Angeles Times sports staff got hold of this story, it branched off in all the wrong directions.  Dodger Stadium is unsafe.  Everyone that goes to a game there is scared for their lives.  Then-Owner Frank McCourt was so cheap that there were only two security guards available to police 56,000 fans.  One pile-on after another.  These days, the only way the Dodgers can get a break with the Los Angeles Times is if the team is purchased by Barack Obama.

You put all those people in one place where alcohol is available and I guarantee you that shit will happen.  Regardless of whether it is Dodger Stadium, Yankee Stadium, or Citi Field.  Let's also not forget the "kill or die trying" sports mentality that is infused in our youth from almost Day One.  Drummed into their minds by whom?  The media.  And the fact that, from what everyone has learned, the culprits were a couple of Mexican gangbangers.  A fact largely ignored by the numbskulls at the Los Angeles Times. 

You might to insure that a ballpark is fan-friendly?  Stop selling beer.  Oh, wait, nobody can do that.  After all, the Budweiser logo is emblazoned on so many scoreboards.  You can stop discounting tickets so low that the price of a hot dog costs more than the chair you're sitting in.  Oh, wait, nobody can do that.  After all, everybody, regardless of the income level, is entitled to enjoy America's favorite pastime.

Bullshit. 

You can't have it both ways, folks. 

I can tell you that I have never ever felt unsafe at Dodger Stadium.  But, look at where I sit.  Look at who I am with.  And I can tell you unequivocably that the only drink I've ever enjoyed there (save for maybe a smart cocktail at the Stadium Club) is a Diet Coke.

Those photos that you see in this blog?  Does that look like a dungeon to you?

Some may see a mental institution.  Me?  I see a wonderful home.

And, now in 2020, it's still a home.   That we are all, unfortunately, away from for now.

Dinner last night: Pepperoni pizza from Maria's.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - March 2020

Gasp!  Hard to believe that this one was released thirty years ago this month!

Dinner last night:  Bacon, lettuce, and tomato salad.

It's Time To Call The Neon Light Guy

Dinner last night:  Leftover balsamic chicken.

Today Is Opening Day 2020

Yes, there is crying in baseball.   At least today there is.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chicken and salad.

This Date in History - March 25

Happy birthday, Elton John.  The music of your life has been the music of my life.

421:  VENICE IS FOUNDED AT TWELVE O'CLOCK NOON, ACCORDING TO LEGEND.

Actually it was 12:10PM.   There was a pre-game show on TBS.

708:  POPE CONSTANTINE SUCCEEDS POPE SISINNIUS AS THE 88TH POPE.

Because the former Pope had a sisinnius infection.

1199:  RICHARD I IS WOUNDED BY A CROSSBOW BOLT WHILE FIGHTING FRANCE, LEADING TO HIS DEATH ON APRIL 6.

Leading to...I guess...a Richard II.

1306:  ROBERT THE BRUCE BECOMES KING OF SCOTLAND.

What kind of last name is The Bruce?

1409:  THE COUNCIL OF PISA OPENS.

I wonder which way they're leaning.

1584:  SIR WALTER RALEIGH IS GRANTED A PATENT TO COLONIZE VIRGINIA.  

Roll that tobacco.

1634:  THE FIRST SETTLERS ARRIVE IN MARYLAND.

And that's about when Cal Ripken's streak started, right?

1802:  THE TREATY OF AMIENS IS SIGNED AS A DEFINITIVE TREATY OF PEACE BETWEEN FRANCE AND ENGLAND.

For now.

1807:  THE SLAVE TRADE ACT BECOMES LAW, ABOLISHING THE SLAVE TRADE IN THE BRITISH EMPIRE.

So now you can get a slave through free agency?

1811: PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY IS EXPELLED FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD FOR PUBLISHING THE PAMPHLET "THE NECESSITY OF ATHEISM."

Believing in a cause that is not believing God.  Got it.

1865: DURING THE CIVIL WAR, CONFEDERATE FORCES IN VIRGINIA TEMPORARILY CAPTURE FORT STEDMAN.

Oprah's phony boyfriend??

1908:  DIRECTOR DAVID LEAN IS BORN.

The director of one of my favorite movies...."The Bridge On The River Kwai."

1911:  MURDERER JACK RUBY IS BORN.

"Jack, you son of a bitch."

1918:  THE BELARUSIAN PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC IS ESTABLISHED.

For all those who want to vacation in Belarus.

1918:  SPORTSCASTER HOWARD COSELL IS BORN.

He had no hair then either.

1918:  COMPOSER CLAUDE DEBUSSY DIES.

La Mer.  Le Morte.

1926:  MOVIE CRITIC GENE SHALIT IS BORN.

Most likely to be confused with Jerry Colonna.   Or a floor mop.

1931:  THE SCOTTSBORO BOYS ARE ARRESTED IN ALABAMA AND CHARGED WITH RAPE.

Later to become a Broadway musical.  ?????

1942:  SINGER ARETHA FRANKLIN IS BORN.

You make me feel like.....

1947:  ROCK STAR ELTON JOHN IS BORN.

Gee, I wonder why he never married.  Oh, wait, he did.  A couple of times.  To a woman.  To a man.  I better check with the registry at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

1948:  THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL TORNADO FORECAST PREDICTS THAT A TORNADO WILL STRIKE AN AIR FORCE BASE IN OKLAHOMA.

Yeah, but how many did they get wrong?

1957:  US CUSTOMS SEIZES COPIES OF ALLEN GINSBERG'S POEM "HOWL" ON OBSCENITY GROUNDS.

I bet that, if this happened today, "Howl" would be produced as a sitcom on Fox.

1965:  MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. AND OTHER CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE THEIR 4 DAY MARCH FROM SELMA. 

Movie to come.

1965:  ACTRESS SARAH JESSICA PARKER IS BORN.

After her parents had some sex in the city.

1969:  DURING THEIR HONEYMOON, JOHN LENNON AND YOKO ONO HOLD THEIR FIRST BED-IN FOR PEACE.   IT LASTED FOR A WEEK.

Do Not Disturb sign in place.

1975:  FAISAL OF SAUDI ARABIA IS SHOT AND KILLED BY A MENTALLY ILL NEPHEW.

Every family has one.

1990:  THE HAPPY LAND FIRE AT AN ILLEGAL NIGHTCLUB IN THE BRONX KILLS 87 PEOPLE.

So not so happy.

1992:  ACTRESS NANCY WALKER DIES.

Rhoda's mom!

1995:  WIKIWIKIWEB IS MADE PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME.

And ultimately helps to populate this blog every Wednesday.

2005:  TV PRODUCER PAUL HENNING DIES.

Whee doggie.

2008:  SCREENWRITER ABBY MANN DIES.

He was a guy, by the way.

2009:  NEW YORK YANKEE JOHNNY BLANCHARD DIES.

What a great pinch hitter!!

Dinner last night:  Honey balsamic chicken.

Len's Recipe of the Month - March 2020

On this culinary journey of mine, I am also looking to learn and try something new.   And being cooped up in the house as a result of the pandemic is another factor.

The photo above is my latest kitchen adventure.   Louisiana sausage gumbo.

As per most of my cooking, Valerie Bertinelli provided the impetus for this one.   She did it on her Food Network show and...well...it's got sausage.   You had me at "saus."

But here's the wrinkle with any Louisiana-based...or Cajun...recipe.  It all starts with the roux.   The base of all Louisiana cooking, it is the foundation of any dish with a sauce or a gravy.

Now Valerie warned me.  Making a roux requires impatience.  It's comprised of two very basic ingredients.  One cup of canola oil.  One cup of flour.   But it could easily burn, so you cannot leave the stove until your mixture of water and flour turns from blonde to tan to dark brown.   And to do so, you MUST keep stirring it.   Constantly.

Valerie says the color change happens within 25 minutes.    

Len says his roux changes to the proper color in 65 minutes.

My wrist still hurts.   

But the results are so worth it.

First, you can prep your ingredients.

Dice one onion.

Dice four to five celery stalks.

Dice two green peppers.

Ladies and gentlemen, those three items comprise what Louisiana cooks call the Holy Trinity.   So many Cajun dishes involve them.

Take two pounds of smoked sausage and slice them into 1/4 inch pieces.   To mix things up and provide a lot of heat, use Andouille sausage for some of the pieces.

Now start your roux.   If yours is like mine, get very acquainted with your kitchen.  You will be there for a while.

Mix the oil and flour together in a Dutch oven that you have heated.

And keep stirring.

And stirring.

And stirring.

And stirring.

At some point, you will get a nutty brown color.  Your roux is done.   If, at any time, you see black specks in the mixture, that means your roux has burned. Either start over or go to McDonald's.

Into the roux, pour the Holy Trinity and let it all cook together for about five minutes.

Mince a few cloves of garlic and add that.

Now add two cans of diced tomatoes.   

Now add four cups of chicken broth.

Season it all liberally with a good Cajun seasoning mix.   McCormick's makes a good one.

You finally add the sausage at this point.  Make sure everything in the Dutch oven is covered by the liquid.

The longer you simmer this all, the better.   Two hours seems right.

About a half-hour before you want to eat, take a bag of frozen okra...yes, 
okra...and saute it quickly in a pan to get the chill off.   Then add it to the Dutch oven for the last 30 minutes.

It is pure magic in your mouth.

Enjoy.

Just remember to keep stirring!

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chicken Scarpariello.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 23, 2020

"Len Speaks" is now 14 years old and we celebrate with yet another classic video laugh from the archives.

How about that backyard swing??

Dinner last night:  Chicken Scarpariello.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Back to the Future

Let's say I am still doing this blog in five or six years.   What would a Sunday Memory Drawer be like if I looked back at the memories being made right now?

Let's cross our fingers that we will look back at this time and smile.   Or wonder how it even happened in the first place.

Indeed, way back when, our leaders in America had the right idea adopting that "laissez-faire" attitude toward the rest of the world.   But, had that continued, my grandparents and your grandparents or parents may not have come here.  I'd be on a farm in Germany perhaps milking a cow.

But there are no borders or boundaries in this world of globalization.   So there are two sides to every coin.   Sometimes, it's heads.   When you get hit by the Coronavirus, it's definitely tails.   

When the planes hit on 9/11, many folks look at the burning towers and said it was a movie.   Well, here in March 2020, we have the sequel.   Then we knew the enemy.   Today it is invisible and, unless you live in a bubble, you can easily have it inside of you.   

I went to my appointment with my trainer.   We both covered the lower part of our faces with our hoodies.   He and I both wore rubber gloves.   Everything there was so over-chlorinated that it smelled like my high school swimming pool when the janitor dropped too much chemical into the water.   

We did the best we could.   That's all we can do.  This is life in America at the moment.  We are all crawling across 200 miles of broken glass while wearing shorts.  

And then there's the rush on toilet paper.   It's not like this virus has gastric tendencies.   The hoarding was so ridiculous that it left others...um...without.
I have one friend who got so desperate that he went to the men's room in a public place and stole as much as he could from their dispenser.

Going to the supermarket is something akin to what my father used to do getting on line for gas back in the 70s.   The Ralph's store I frequent is right next to UCLA and its student base.   I saw most of them in the market that day.  Wearing masks and hoarding ramen noodles.   

Also clogging the aisles were older people.   One lady could barely stand.  Despite that, she was pushing not one, but two shopping carts full of stuff.   Did she draw the short straw and got nominated to be this week's buyer for the entire nursing home?

Crazy.

I don't doubt that this illness is real which was spread initially by tons of Asian tourists running around Italy.  But the frenzy perpetrated by social media and the news media is numbing.   Now school systems are closed.  Sports are closed.  Movies are closed.  Restaurants are closed.   

The nation is closed.   

But we got through these calamities before.

Hurricanes.

Gas lines.

Blackouts of multiple states at once.

Race riots.

Presidential assassinations...both completed and failed.

AIDS.

Watergate.

Depressions and recessions and inflation.

Y2K.

9/11.

Just like our parents and grandparents got through bread lines and World Wars and the fear of nuclear war.

Somehow and in some way, we will persevere.

Indeed, when this is remembered in a future Sunday Memory Drawer, I hope we can smile.

In March 2020, there will be a spike in newborn babies.   And divorce cases...especially if married couples spent a lot more time together than they normally do.

Yes, today, we have lemons.   I'd like to think it will bring not lemonade, but a tasty lemon tart.

In the meantime, we wash our hands.   

Stay safe, all.   

Dinner last night:  Home made pizza from my neighbor.

Classic TV Theme of the Month - March 2020

Always infectious to listen to this theme song, but, at this point, "Happy Days" was on its last motorcycle tire.  Check out the supporting cast.

Dinner last night:  Vegetable salad. 

Your Weekend Movie Guide for March 2020

Here's another vivid childhood memory.  On the heels of the Apollo moon landing where we were told it was a possibility that the astronauts might get stuck in outer space, Hollywood provided us with the scripted scenario of just that development.  I remember thinking this movie was cool.  But, in reality, the very authentic "Apollo 13" from Ron Howard was a much better movie. Nevertheless, "Marooned" is fifty years old this year...and boy, does the proverbial time proverbially fly?

What memories are at the multiplexes this weekend?  Actually, in light of America's shutdown, none.   But let's pretend that we can go out and see a movie.  You know the drill, gang.  I'll saunter through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my knee jerk reaction to what's on those silver screens.   I'm thinking we all might be marooned.  At home.

Oh, and on second glance, "Marooned" played at the wonderful Egyptian Theater on Hollywood Boulevard.   Perhaps the folks there will screen it this year some time.  Well, actually, they're not screening anything at the moment.  Coronavirus, you know.

A Quiet Place, Part 2:  I loved the first one, but can't figure out how they could squeeze another movie out of this. And, realistically, any theater playing it might be a quiet place indeed.  Coronavirus, you know.

Never Rarely Sometimes Always:   Well, that covers it all really.

The Roads Not Taken:   I thought Bob Hope and Bing Crosby used all of them.

The Burnt Orange Heresy:   Way too much to say when somebody asks you what movie you just saw.

Emma:  Saw the trailer and..................zzzzzzzzZZZZ.

First Cow:  Wasn't that Elsie of the Borden's Milk company?

The Way Back:  Ben Affleck deals with alcoholism and being a basketball coach.   At the same time?

Hope Gap:  Annette Bening and Bill Nighy play a couple that has lost its way after 29 years of marriage.  Don't they all?

Portrait of a Lady On Fire:  France, 1770. Marianne, a painter, is commissioned to do the wedding portrait of Héloïse, a young woman who has just left the convent.   This movie has my name all over it.   Not.

Onward:  Have we previously discussed the fact that I am generally bored with most Pixar movies??

Greed:  I have no idea, except this is not to be confused with the 1924 silent movie of the same name that starred Zasu Pitts.

The Invisible Man:   Given the box office receipts as a result of the current health scare...well, you finish the joke.

The Climb:   Two best buds feud when one sleeps with the other's fiancee.  So that kind of stuff is off limits?  Good to know.

The Etruscan Smile:  Brian Cox as a Scotsman trying to connect with his estranged son.   Haven't we seen that...like...a thousand other times??

Hooking Up:  A female sex addict connects with a guy who's got testicular cancer.   Yep, folks, that's the elevator pitch.

Human Capital:  A young romance is marred by a tragic accident.   That's all I got.

International Falls:  Two stand-up comics are stranded in a snowstorm.  With a rabbi, a priest, and a farmer's daughter?

Phoenix, Oregon:  Two pals open up a pizza parlor in a bowling alley.  How's that for enticement to see the movie?

The Truth:  I see Catherine Deneuve listed in the cast.   So, I guess, if you're a fan of Catherine Deneuve and you bring your hand sanitizer...

Swallow:  A young housewife in a seemingly perfect marriage develops pica, the irresistible urge to ingest inedible objects and material. I find that hard to...well...swallow.

I Still Believe:  The true story of Christian music star Jeremy Camp and his journey of love and loss.  Who???

Big Time Adolescence:  A drug-dealing college dropout becomes a mentor to his best friend -- a straight-laced teen who idolizes him.  Strictly for the younger crowd who only knows how to communicate with emojis.

Bloodshot:  Vin Diesel stars, which mean I will be keeping my social distance away.

The Hunt:  Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don't know where they are -- or how they got there.   Hmm, that's called the New York City subway system.

Extra Ordinary:  A woman who has supernatural abilities must save a possessed girl.  Um, you could watch "The Exorcist" instead as a tribute to the late Max Von Sydow.

Dinner last night:  Spaghetti and meat balls.

A Yelp Review on a Blog

Let's have a positive story today, shall we?

This is a photo of my spiffy new Eddie Bauer travel bag.  Half rolling luggage, half duffel bag.   Very neat.

And it comes with a story.

I've had good success with Eddie Bauer luggage in the past.   My huge rolling suitcase lasted me almost 20 years.   The first 15 years of that tenure came with cross country travel every six weeks.   It held up beautifully.   The last five years, however, showed us the results of that wear and tear.   It got indented this way.   It got indented that way.   Beat up like an alley mugging.

Last September, I was returning from NY and the final blow came as my bag came down the conveyor belt at LAX.   The handle you pull on to roll the suitcase was...well...not there anymore.

It was time.

I first went to an Eddie Bauer store to see what constituted as luggage these days.   There was nothing like my old bag, but what you see above would be perfect.   

To take advantage of my Eddie Bauer membership status and a 40 percent off sale, I ordered it on-line in December.

In late January, it had its maiden voyage on a trip to NY.   I loved the item.   It was easier to manage.   It seemed lighter even though I was able to seemingly cram more clothes in there.

I was smitten.

When I got back home, I started to unpack.   I opened one of the zippers to the back compartment.    An 8 x 10 card fell out.

Homeland Security had been there.

I tried to unzip the other zipper and it would not open.   The inner lining had been caught in the mechanism probably when TSA was trying to close the bag.  The result was a five inch tear in said lining.

I was heartsick.   It was just one trip and the luggage was already damaged.

I called Eddie Bauer customer service mainly to find out their suggestions for how to have the rip mended.   Imagine my surprise when...

...they offered to replace the bag at no cost if I simply returned it to an Eddie Bauer store.

I was dumbfounded.   And so grateful.   Oh, sure, the manager of the store was a little snarky with me because they don't like to process returns from items bought on-line.  But, nevertheless, I was an Eddie Bauer customer for years.   I will now continue to do so now for decades.   

BTW, the photo above is of the new bag in my possession.   Now if only Homeland Security could be a little gentler...

Dinner last night:  Leftover pasta and salad.

This Date in History - March 18

Happy birthday, Kevin Dobson.   We make it a policy here always to celebrate special days of Knots Landing actors.  No social distancing here.

37:  THE ROMAN SENATE ANNULS TIBERIUS' WILL AND PROCLAIMS CALIGULA EMPEROR.

Okay, now the fun begins.

633:  THE ARABIAN PENINSULA IS UNITED UNDER THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY OF CALIPH ABU BAKR.

Good.  I was worried.

1229:  FREDERICK II, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, DECLARES HIMSELF KING OF JERUSALEM IN THE SIXTH CRUSADE.

And later he calls himself the Duke of Earl.

1314:  JACQUES DE MOLAY, THE LAST GRAND MASTER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, IS BURNED AT THE STAKE.

I hope they used a good brand of olive oil.

1438:  ALBERT II OF HABSBURG BECOMES HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.

But we won't be as much fun as Caligula.

1608: SUSENYOS IS FORMALLY CROWNED EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA.

Susenyos?   Wasn't that a Phil Collins song?

1741:  NEW YORK GOVERNOR GEORGE CLARKE'S COMPLEX AT FORT GEORGE IN BURNED IN AN ARSON ATTACK, STARTING THE NEW YORK CONSPIRACY OF 1741.

There's no conspiracy.   I just wish all these people weren't against me.

1766:  THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT REPEALS THE STAMP ACT.

Forcing everybody to deliver their letters in person.

1848:  IN BERLIN, THERE IS A STRUGGLE BETWEEN CITIZENS AND MILITARY, COSTING ABOUT 300 LIVES.

That's a little more than a struggle in my book.

1850:  AMERICAN EXPRESS IS FOUNDED BY HENRY WELLS AND WILLIAM FARGO.

Don't leave home without them.

1865:  DURING THE CIVIL WAR, THE CONGRESS OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES ADJOURNS FOR THE LAST TIME.

Last one out, please shut off the lights.

1886:  ACTOR EDWARD EVERETT HORTON IS BORN.

Mrs.Horton Has a What?

1892:  FORMER GOVERNOR GENERAL LORD STANLEY PLEDGES TO DONATE A SILVER CHALLENGE CUP AS AN AWARD FOR THE BEST HOCKEY TEAM IN CANADA.

Little did he know that some players would be peeing in it 100 years later.

1915:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THREE BATTLESHIPS ARE SUNK DURING A FAILED BRITISH AND FRENCH NAVAL ATTACK.

I used to re-enact this in the bathtub when I was a kid.

1922:  IN INDIA, MOHANDAS GANDHI IS SENTENCED TO SIX YEARS IN PRISON FOR CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE.

Going, going, Gandhi.

1926:  ACTOR PETER GRAVES IS BORN.

He dies in 2010.  No, wait, he self-destructs.

1927:  AUTHOR GEORGE PLIMPTON IS BORN.

I never quite knew what this guy wrote.

1940:  ADOLF HITLER AND BENITO MUSSOLINI MEET AT THE BRENNER PASS IN THE ALPS AND AGREE TO FROM AN ALLIANCE AGAINST FRANCE AND ENGLAND.

Such a sinister act to have over a nice cup of Ovaltine,

1942:  THE WAR RELOCATION AUTHORITY IS ESTABLISHED IN THE US TO TAKE JAPANESE AMERICANS INTO CUSTODY.

Relocation is a nice way to say "internment."

1943:  ACTOR KEVIN DOBSON IS BORN.

Every Thursday night at 10PM for over twelve years, this guy was one of my heroes.

1944:  THE ERUPTION OF MOUNT VESUVIUS IN ITALY KILLS 26 PEOPLE AND CAUSES THOUSANDS TO FLEE THEIR HOMES.

I guess you can't blame them.

1945:  OVER 1,200 AMERICAN BOMBERS ATTACK BERLIN.

Finally.

1959:  PRESIDENT DWIGHT EISENHOWER SIGNS A BILL INTO LAW ALLOWING FOR HAWAIIAN STATEHOOD.

Aloha.

1970:  THE US POSTAL STRIKE OF 1970 BEGINS, ONE OF THE LARGEST WILDCAT STRIKES IN US HISTORY.

I think my mailman, who shows up after 6PM most days, must still think he's on the picket line.

1990:  GERMANS VOTE IN THE FIRST DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS IN THE FORMER COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP.

Can somebody show me how to pull this lever?

1992:  IN A NATIONAL REFERENDUM, WHITE SOUTH AFRICANS VOTE OVERWHELMINGLY TO END THE RACIST POLICY OF APARTHEID.

Would they do the same thing if they knew Al Sharpton?

2001:  SINGER JOHN PHILLIPS DIES.

All my leaves are brown...and my face is pale.

2009:  ACTRESS NATASHA RICHARDSON DIES.

Reason # 77 why people over 40 should not ski.

2010:  ACTOR FESS PARKER DIES.

That raccoon wants his skin back.

2017:  MUSICIAN CHUCK BERRY DIES.

Rock and Roll now fatherless.

Dinner last night:  Leftover lasagna.

Hate The Movie, Love The Play

Posting a theater review of a musical I saw six weeks ago is a little silly, right?  I mean, given the American lock down, it's not like you can run out and go see it.  Broadway is closed.  So is virtually everything else.

The good news is that it will hopefully all come back.   This is America.   When we get lemons, we figure out how to make a lemon mousse.  So, here on this blog, we will continue.  And persevere.   And perhaps amuse and enlighten.  

Well, the title of today's entry gives it all away.  But I still hope you are compelled enough to keep reading.

Back in 2001, there was a dreadful movie musical made by Baz Luhrmann called "Moulin Rouge," named for the Paris night club of the same name.  It told some dreary love story with music provided by everybody else's original hit songs.   It provided one of those rare cinematic evenings where I almost walked out of the theater.   It was that bad.

But I do remember saying at the time that this concept might be better suited as a Broadway musical instead of on the big screen.   Well, somebody heard me.  Because, eighteen years later (the musical opened last July), here we are.

Of course, "Moulin Rouge" was not on my radar screen to see on my recent NY trip.  But a good friend was interested and even sold out shows have available tickets when it is Super Bowl Sunday.  I was in, albeit reluctantly.   

Well, I was right.   "Moulin Rouge," as dreamed up by Luhrmann, fits the stage like a glove you would find Kitty Carlisle wearing on "To Tell the Truth."  This production offers something for everybody.   And, most notably, it is the music pilfered from everybody else that makes it work.   As soon as somebody else's lyrics start to creep into the dialogue, you laugh a little and smile a lot.   It's a virtual jukebox featuring everybody from Nat King Cole to the Police to the Rolling Stones to the Beatles to Whitney Houston.  I lost count somewhere in the middle of Act One.  Even the Dodgers' Clayton Kershaw's walk-up song "We Are Young" pops up.  WTF.  

And trust me on this.  If the word "love" is in a song, it winds up in "Moulin Rouge."   When "What's Love Got to Do with It" is heard, I even thought about the upcoming Tina Turner musical that will be playing several blocks away.  That would mean her song is being heard simultaneously in two Broadway shows!  Ka-ching on the royalty cash register.

Oh, this "Moulin Rouge" has the same goofy love story and plot as the Luhrmann screen musical.  But, on stage, you sort of ignore that nonsensical element because there's just so much else going on.  Cirque de Soleil-like dancers.  Acrobats.  Can can routines.  A windmill that is actually moving even during intermission. And everything is bathed in red.  It's like Valentine's Day 365 days of the year.  It took me two hours after the show to adjust my vision not to see shades of red in everything.

You can't help but like what you are seeing on stage.  It is kitschy and hokey and also a helluva lot of fun.  I would hope that the cast members know that they are not doing Shakespearean tragedy and that their tongues are firmly planted in their cheeks.  But, even if they are taking this too seriously, they pull it off.  Kudos to Karen Olivo as Satine, Aaron Tveit as Christian, and the always welcome Danny Burstein as the Moulin Rouge owner.  Given that the show opened last July, it has yet to go through the Tony Award nomination process.   I think it will this year and collect a few on the way.

It's fascinating how something so horrible on screen can look so right on the Broadway stage.  Check it out.

Well, I mean "check it out" when the nation re-opens for business.

Dinner last night:  Leftover lasagna.