Hollywood Then and Now - April 2020

Most people who watched this show first run are likely dead.   Heck, all of the people who were in the Nelson family are.  

While life only has one showing, TV can be seen over and over and over again.  Indeed, the house pictured in the opening credits is really where Ozzie, Harriet, Ricky, and David lived.

Guess what?   The house still exists on a small street just north of Hollywood Boulevard.

There have been some upgrades.   Ya think?   The place is estimated to be worth 5.5 million dollars in 2020.   If only Ozzie knew at the time...

Then again, back in the 50s, life was more simple.   Can you imagine the Nelsons in quarantine??

Dinner last night:  Mushroom ravioli.

This Date in History - April 29

There's a lot of famous birthdays, but how can I not single out 1969 World Series hero Ed Charles???

711:  THE ISLAMIC CONQUEST OF HISPANIA.

For those who think all the current torture is a new thing for them.

1429:  JOAN OF ARC ARRIVES TO RELIEVE THE SIEGE OF ORLEANS.

Joan of Arc for the save.

1770:  JAMES COOK ARRIVES AT AND NAMES BOTANY BAY, AUSTRALIA.

And we care why?

1781:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, BRITISH AND FRENCH SHIPS CLASH OFF THE COAST OF MARTINIQUE.

Well, if you have to travel some place for a war, Martinique is always nice.

1861:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, MARYLAND VOTES NOT TO SECEDE FROM THE UNION.

Go Terrapins!

1862:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, LOUISIANA FALLS TO UNION FORCES.

Hey, with all the great restaurants in New Orleans, that was a smart move on the part of the North.

1882: THE ELEKTROMOTE - THE FORERUNNER OF THE TROLLEYBUS - IS TESTED IN BERLIN.

Change for the express to Munich.

1899:  MUSICIAN DUKE ELLINGTON IS BORN.

First stop for the A Train.

1910:  THE PARLIAMENT OF THE UNITED KINGDOM PASSES THE PEOPLE'S BUDGET, THE FIRST BUDGET IN BRITISH HISTORY WITH THE EXPRESSED INTENT OF REDISTRIBUTING WEALTH.

For those who thought Roosevelt invented this concept.

1917:  ACTRESS CELESTE HOLM IS BORN.

All About Her.

1933:  BASEBALL STAR ED CHARLES IS BORN.

The Gilder!!!

1933: POET ROD MCKUEN IS BORN.

There once was a hermit named Dave...

1933:  MUSICIAN WILLIE NELSON IS BORN.

With or without a beard?  Discuss.

1938:  BUSINESSMAN BERNARD MADOFF IS BORN.

Play Happy Birthday by banging your cup on the cell bars.

1945:  THE DACHAU CONCENTRATION CAMP IS LIBERATED BY US TROOPS.

A trifle late.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE GERMAN ARMY SURRENDERS TO THE ALLIES.

One way train tickets to Nuremberg now available.

1945:  ADOLF HITLER MARRIES EVA BRAUN IN A BERLIN BUNKER.  

Don't bother finding out where they registered.   They kill themselves the very next day.

1946:  FATHER DIVINE, A RELIGIOUS LEADER CLAIMING TO BE GOD, MARRIES THE MUCH YOUNGER EDNA ROSE RITCHINGS.

God help her.

1953:  THE FIRST US EXPERIMENTAL 3D TV BROADCAST SHOWS AN EPISODE OF SPACE PATROL IN LOS ANGELES.

Those damn glasses still don't work.

1954:  COMIC JERRY SEINFELD IS BORN.

Who are these people?

1958:  ACTRESS EVE PLUMB IS BORN.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

1967:  AFTER REFUSING INDUCTION INTO THE US ARMY FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS, MUHAMMAD ALI IS STRIPPED OF HIS BOXING TITLE.

Muhammad, my ass.

1968:  THE HIPPIE MUSICAL HAIR OPENS ON BROADWAY.

Gee, those actors look cold up there on stage.

1974:  PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES THE RELEASE OF EDITED TRANSCRIPTS OF WHITE HOUSE TAPE RECORDINGS RELATING TO THE WATERGATE SCANDAL.

Anybody know who's got the Director's cut?

1980:  DIRECTOR ALFRED HITCHCOCK DIES.

Did I just see a wry smile on the face of Tippi Hedren?

1986:  A FIRE AT THE CENTRAL LIBRARY OF LOS ANGELES DESTROYS 400,000 BOOKS.   

Of course, no one was hurt because nobody goes to the Library in Los Angeles.

1986:  AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN SPY SATELLITES CAPTURE THE RUINS OF THE REACTOR AT THE CHERNOBYL POWER PLANT.

That's gonna be a bitch to clean up.

1992: RIOTS IN LOS ANGELES FOLLOWING THE ACQUITTAL OF POLICE OFFICERS CHARGED IN THE BEATING OF RODNEY KING.

Safest store to be in during these lootings?   A Barnes and Noble.

2004:  OLDSMOBILE BUILDS ITS FINAL CAR ENDING 107 YEARS OF PRODUCTION.

I once rented an Oldsmobile and I know exactly why they went out of business.  What a shitty car.

2011:  THE WEDDING OF PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON.

I didn't get an invitation.  A royal screw-up.

2014:  ACTOR BOB HOSKINS DIES.

Roger Rabbit delivers the eulogy.

2015:   A BASEBALL GAME BETWEEN THE BALTIMORE ORIOLES AND THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX IS PLAYED IN FRONT OF NO FANS DUE TO THE BALTIMORE RIOTS AND THE GAME BEING CLOSED TO THE PUBLIC.

So, what's the Mets' excuse?

Dinner last night: Steak salad.

Len's Recipe of the Month - April 2020

Like everybody else during this global nightmare, I'm using the time to be creative and, most notably, in the kitchen.   Unfortunately, there are lots of folks who are cooking these days and have no talent whatsoever.   As for me, I am experimenting and the results are good.   I can, after all, cook.

Check out my latest creation.  Chicken Saltimbocca.   A dish that I have enjoyed in many fine Italian restaurants.   After a little internet research, I figured out how to make it myself.   And, indeed, the cooking process is less than an hour.  Sweet.

First off, pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees.   

In a flat dish or pan, take about a 1/2 cup of flour and whisk in some black pepper and sea salt.

For this, get 4 to 6 thinly sliced chicken breasts.   Even if they are thin, you want them even skinnier.  That's why you need to get some Saran Wrap and pound the crap out of them.   

You will need about 1/2 pound of sliced prosciutto and fresh sage leaves for the next part.   Drape a piece of the prosciutto length-wise over one breast.   Then with a toothpick, fasten two sage leaves to each breast.   You should connect the actual chicken to the prosciutto and the sage leaves.

Get a big skillet hot with two tablespoons of EVO.  Use a skillet that can be put in the oven.

Take each breast and dredge it in the flour mixture.  Place each one in the pan with the prosciutto/sage side face down.   Slice up two cloves of garlic and add to the pan for flavor.

The browning of the one side should take about six to seven minutes.  Add two tablespoons of butter during this process.   

When the one side is golden brown, flip it.   Once you have flipped all sides, pour in 1/2 cup of decent white wine.

About five minutes into the other side browning, pour in about one cup of chicken broth.  Let everything mellow together for a couple of minutes.   

Take the skillet and move it to the oven for about 10 minutes.   The wine, butter, and broth should reduce to a nice sauce.

Let it cool for about five minutes before serving.   Remember to tell your guests there are toothpicks all around so you won't need to be making a 9-1-1 call.

Oh, and that wine you opened to put in the skillet?   You'll want to finish that bottle.   Pour away.

Dinner last night:  Leftover tri-tip.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - April 27, 2020

Don Rickles with baseball's Lou Brock on the only Tonight Show that mattered.  Back in the day when Rickles could get away with anything.   

Dinner last night:  Tri-tip beef and caramelized onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My Times with Don Imus....Well, Sort Of

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Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - April 2020

Sixty years ago, this was the Easter attraction at Radio City Music Hall.   This year, both Easter and the theater are gone.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch.

Len's Jukebox of the Month - April 2020

In these pandemic times, we look for comfort food.   Not only in meals but television, movies, and music.   This one is a distinct memory from my childhood.   My mother had this LP and played this song over and over and over.   It was a big hit at the time.   For some reason, it resonated with my mom even more.   I wonder why.


Dinner last night:  Salad.

Missed Opportunity

I really thought I had discovered a gem.   And I knew it before anybody else.

Like everything these days, nothing worked out as planned.

You see, I got to see an episode of the NBC sitcom "Indebted" filmed before it even was on the air.  It's a long story how I wound up there but I was a guest of recurring guest star Richard Kind for the sixth or seventh episode.  That was back in November...BP.   Before Pandemic.  Meanwhile, the show wasn't going to premiere until February.   

So I knew nothing about this until I walked into that Sony Studios sound stage. All I had was that Fran Drescher was part of the cast.  Gulp.   I was never a fan of "The Nanny" and oh, that voice.

What I found that day was a thoroughly clever and simple sitcom concept filmed in front of a very appreciative live audience.  Mom and Dad (Drescher and Steven Weber) had blown through their life savings and were forced to uncomfortably move in with their son, his wife, and two kids.   Plus Mom and Dad had another daughter in the picture...a gay dog groomer.  In the world of high concepts, this was as uncomplicated as it could be.   A Jewish version of "Everybody Loves Raymond."

At that filming, it all worked.   The cast was very good.   Fran blended into the ensemble very well.   Up in those bleachers, there was very genuine laughter...the type you used to hear on shows like "Raymond" or "Frasier" or "Murphy Brown."   I was at the latter a lot back in the day.   I know what a real comic reaction sounds like.

When I spoke to Richard Kind after the filming to thank him for the special entry, even he remarked how surprisingly funny the show was.   I couldn't wait for this to premiere a few months later.

When I saw the pilot and Episode 1, I was confused by how muted the studio laughter was.   You could barely tell there was a live audience.   It sounded completely artificial.   And even worse...there was a minimum of things to laugh at in the script.

Okay, I thought.   There are always issues with a pilot.   I mean, I had seen an episode further down the road and the writers and cast had a better grasp of the concept's tone.

But it never really did.   And when I saw the final air product of what I had seen filmed, I was shocked.   What had played out so wonderfully with regales of guffaws in the studio audience was flat and unfunny.   Plus the laughter I had heard all around me was missing.  Once again, it sounded like a phony laugh track on air.

To make matters worse, an entire scene that I remember was missing.   It was dialogue between the daughter-in-law and the sister that required some significant on-set rewriting.   Perhaps it never really worked and they cut it as a result.  Or maybe it was a time issue.   Whatever the case, its exclusion resulted in a major plot gap where something that happened in the next scene made zero sense.

Who the heck is minding the store here?

I can't believe how completely different the air product looked and sounded compared to what I saw on set.

Ultimately, I watched every one of the twelve episodes and was completely disappointed by this huge missed opportunity.   What had happened?   I have no clue.

Indeed, "Indebted" never really scored great ratings.   But, with production shut down and no upfront in place, the show might have a shot at a second season simply because the sets are already built and probably stored.   They could quickly go into production if need be.   

If a second season does materialize, I can only hope that they somehow can recapture the magic I saw on that November Friday night.  

What are the odds really?

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf and Brussels sprouts.

This Date in History - April 22

Today is a big day for World War II fans, but we can also wish Glen Campbell a happy birthday in heaven.   Question: when people with dementia pass on, do they regain a memory up there?

238: THE ROMAN SENATE OUTLAWS EMPEROR MAXIMINUS THRAX FOR HIS BLOODTHIRSTY PROSCRIPTIONS IN ROME AND NOMINATES TWO OF ITS MEMBERS, PUPIENUS AND BALBINUS, TO THE THRONE.

If this blog existed back then, it would probably be called Len Speaksius.

1519:  SPANISH CONQUISTADOR HERNAN CORTES ESTABLISHES A SETTLEMENT AT VERACRUZ, MEXICO.

If Cortes was alive today, he would already have fled to America.

1622:  THE CAPTURE OF ORMUZ BY THE EAST INDIA COMPANY ENDS PORTUGUESE CONTROL OF HORMUZ ISLAND.

If this happened today, I still wouldn't care.

1836:  DURING THE TEXAS REVOLUTION, FORCES UNDER TEXAS GENERAL SAM HOUSTON IDENTIFY MEXICAN GENERAL ANTONIO LOPEZ DE SANTA ANNA AMONG THE CAPTIVES OF THE BATTLE OF SAN JACINTO.

I think Texas is still revolting.

1864:  THE US CONGRESS PASSES THE COINAGE ACT OF 1864 THAT MANDATES THAT THE INSCRIPTION IN GOD WE TRUST BE PLACED ON ALL COINS MINTED AS US CURRENCY.

God....remember him?

1876:  THE FIRST EVER NATIONAL LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME IS PLAYED IN PHILADELPHIA.

The first recorded drunken brawl in the stands.

1889:  AT HIGH NOON, THOUSANDS RUSH TO CLAIM LAND IN THE LAND RUSH OF 1889.  WITHIN HOURS, THE CITIES OF OKLAHOMA CITY AND GUTHRIE ARE FORMED WITH POPULATIONS OF AT LEAST 10,000.

So that explains the traffic jam outside of Oklahoma City.

1906:  ACTOR EDDIE ALBERT IS BORN.

He died in 2005, so I guess you can say he got cheated.

1912:  PRAVDA, THE VOICE OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY IN THE SOVIET UNION, BEGINS PUBLICATION IN SAINT PETERSBURG.

First comic strip?  Little Socialist Annie.

1915:  THE USE OF POISON GAS IN WORLD WAR I ESCALATES WHEN CHLORINE GAS IS RELEASED AS A CHEMICAL WEAPON.

Chlorine?   Like the way the pool in my high school gym used to smell??

1923:  PRODUCER AARON SPELLING IS BORN.

The Love Boat is making another run...

1926:  ACTRESS CHARLOTTE RAE IS BORN.

You take the good, you take the bad.  You take them both and there you have...the Facts of Life.   The Facts of Life.

1936:  SINGER GLEN CAMPBELL IS BORN.

By the time he gets to Heaven.

1937:  ACTOR JACK NICHOLSON IS BORN.

Yeah, this is as good as it gets.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, PRISONERS AT THE JASENOVAC CONCENTRATION CAMP REVOLT.

And they probably were totally justified.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, ADOLF HITLER ADMITS DEFEATS AND STATES THAT SUICIDE IS ONLY HIS RECOURSE.

Agreed!

1954:  WITNESSES BEGIN TESTIFYING DURING LIVE TELEVISION COVERAGE OF THE ARMY-MCARTHY HEARINGS BEGIN

Rat bastards.

1964:  THE NEW YORK WORLD'S FAIR OPENS FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Right across the street from spanking new Shea Stadium.

1970:  THE FIRST EARTH DAY IS CELEBRATED.

Tree huggers unite!

1972:  INCREASED AMERICAN BOMBING IN VIETNAM PROMPTS ANTI-WAR PROTESTS IN LA, NY, AND SF.

Oh, so that's marijuana I smell?

1977:  OPTICAL FIBER IS FIRST USED TO CARRY LIVE TELEPHONE TRAFFIC.

And years later, you still can't get a conference call that doesn't have any static.

1978:  ACTOR WILL GEER DIES.

Good night, Grandpa.

1983:  A GERMAN MAGAZINE CLAIMS THAT THE HITLER DIARIES ARE FOUND.   THEY ARE LATER REVEALED TO BE FORGERIES.

You mean somebody's actually trying to copy Hitler's penmanship??

1984:  PHOTOGRAPHER ANSEL ADAMS DIES.

Thank God somebody invented the coffee table so his books had some place to go.

1994:  PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON DIES.

And God now makes it perfectly clear.

1996:  AUTHOR ERMA BOMBECK DIES.

The grass is not only greener.  It's on top of you.

1998:  DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM OPENS IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA.

And there's another way to make money.

2000:  THE BIG NUMBER CHANGE TAKES PLACE IN ENGLAND.

I'm holding out for the Small Number Change.

2002:  PORN ACTRESS LINDA LOVELACE DIES.

I find this hard to swallow.

2013:  SINGER RICHIE HAVENS DIES.

Make that Richie Heaven.

2017:  ACTRESS ERIN MORAN DIES.

Chachi Buries Joanie.

Dinner last night:  Leftover meat loaf.

More Musings in a Pandemic World

These days, I laugh when people call me and ask what's new.

Duh.

What the hell do you think is new?  We're all in the same mess regardless of time zone or hemisphere or race or religion.  We all do the best we can.  Personally and luckily, I have never been busier with work.  For that, I am grateful.  I am not a waiter or a movie theater usher or a retailer.  Those are the people for which I hope this crap is resolved sooner than later.   From both a psychological and financial standpoint, this country we live in cannot go on much further with staying in place and being quarantined.  Life needs to come back in some degree and it better happen before suicide pacts are negotiated nationwide.

Like everybody, I have thoughts throughout the day that ping pong wildly over all the dimensions of the impact from this Chinese virus.   Yes, I said Chinese. That's where it started either accidentally or intentionally.   Trust me.   If this virus started in Cleveland, it would be called the Cleveland Virus.  And that's just one thought that has gone careening through my skull.   There are others.

Suddenly, everybody is a cook.   Try and find key ingredients in your super market.  It's impossible.   There are more people now soaking up food and they have zero capability in knowing what to do with.

Have you also noticed that, as you attempt to sweep through a super market like you're on the old TV game show, there are more and more folks there who have started in their tracks to read the label on a can of peas?   You're kidding, right?

Wearing face masks as we get deeper into the warm weather months is going to be a challenge when humidity returns.   I'm just sayin."

People used to say that everything in Los Angeles is twenty minutes away.  Well, for the first time ever, this is finally true.

There has never been another time in my life where I am so disgruntled with the elected leaders, regardless of what party they are in.   I understand that there is no template for such an event as a pandemic.   But, even with this dire situation, most of these assholes are still approaching this from a politicized stance.   Jerks.  Every single one of them.   

If one more person forwards on social media another opinion from another medical "expert,"   I will go outside and let the first person I see cough on me.

I sit down every night at 7:10PM looking for a Dodger game and the sadness starts all over again.

When this is over, I hope social distancing is over.    And I also wish that's when social media distancing begins.    I have never known how many of my friends are absolute crackpots and completely devoid of any logic.

When the inevitable shooting begins, can we put that dummy who runs the World Health Organization in the front please?

I pray thanks to God every day because I have never been less than three degrees away from somebody who has the virus or succumbed to.   Hmm, I wonder if Kevin Bacon can say the same thing.

I will gladly do anything I have to do in order to walk into Dodger Stadium.   An antibody test?   A temperature gun to the forehead as I walk through the turnstile?   Be my guest.

Zoom meetings.   How about a little make-up?   Run a comb through the hair.  Put on some clothes, for Pete's sake.

Have you home-schooling parents finally figured out that your kid is a moron?

New failing business model:  being a travel vlogger.

Can we put an end to those stupid Facebook games and quizzes?  Like..name ten Hollywood celebrities you have masturbated about.

Given this is worldwide, have you given any thought that all of this is God's way of hitting the control-alt-delete on our lives.   A necessary reboot.   

I know I have come to realize how much slower our lives should be, so we can stop and smell the proverbial roses.    This pandemic has caused me to check in with friends that I have not spoken to in some time.   A few of my neighbors here have taken to having a little happy hour on the patio every Friday.  This might not have happened without this Chinese Virus.

Yes, I said it again.

This, too, will pass.   Life has given us lemons.   We could make lemonade.   As for me, why not a delicious lemon tart??

Dinner last night:  Leftover hot and sour soup and General Tso Beef.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - April 20, 2020

It's Adolf Hitler's birthday.   Let Mel Brooks lead the celebration.

Dinner last night: Meat loaf with brown sugar glaze plus pan roasted tomatoes and broccoli.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My Favorite Movies...for Your Pandemic Viewing Pleasure

What better time to rerun this blog entry?  I mean, by this juncture, you're probably done with Tiger King or binge watching some TV show from ten years ago.   Personally, during this quarantined existence, I have been buried in my DVD collection.  Watching the best of the best.   And now I give these suggestions to you.  Hell, I've revisited a few of them myself just in the past four weeks.

In the first year of this blog, I spent about 50 Sundays counting down my Top 25 Favorite Movies of All Time and my Top 25 Favorite TV Shows of All Time.  Heck, back in that day, I was new to this blogging thing and was looking to fill content every week and every day.

Since then, I've referenced some of these movies and TV shows from time to time and folks have asked to see the lists again.  No, I'm not going to rerun them all for the next year.  But, I will give you the listings in one fell swoop.  With a quick thumbnail comment or two on each.

This week, let's see my Top 25 Favorite Movies...in ascending order:

25.  Since You Went Away

The ultimate movie on how a typical American family dealt with life on the World War II homefront.  A wonderful time capsule of the last time this nation was unified in a single cause. 

24.  Pillow Talk

The first Doris Day-Rock Hudson pairing and arguably the best.  Before there were cell phones, there were party lines.  Ridiculously innocent, but who cares?   Thelma Ritter steals every scene she's in as a boozy housekeeper.  And she appears on my list again in a similar role.

23.  White Christmas

It wouldn't be the holiday season without me popping this into the DVD player or, thanks to being in Los Angeles, seeing it on the big screen.  The movie I'm most likely to be watching on December 23 or 24.  Next time you watch it, pay close attention to Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen and see how they virtually steal the film away from old pros Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye.

22.  Marty

Completely shot in the Bronx and I could recognize locations where my parents would take me shopping when I was a kid.  A marvelous look at a single man and how he deals with perhaps finding the love of his life.  Ernest Borgnine's Oscar win and nobody deserved it more.  It looks, smells, and feel just like New York.

21.  Radio Days

There are three Woody Allen movies I can watch over and over and over.  Annie Hall.  Manhattan.  Hannah and Her Sisters.  But the one that sings to me the most is his paean to growing up in the 30s and 40s when the radio was your family's sole source for nightly entertainment.  Wildly nostalgic and the scene where an aunt takes her small nephew to Radio City Music Hall for the first time makes me misty-eyed on every single viewing.

20.  One, Two, Three

Billy Wilder is my favorite film director and he shows up three times on my list.  But, this movie is one of his lesser known efforts but brilliant nonetheless.  James Cagney plays a Coca-Cola bottler in Berlin just before the Wall goes up.  A performance that is so funny and rapid-fire that it literally forced Cagney to go into retirement immediately thereafter.  He is talking the entire picture, but every line is a gem that's better than the last.

19.  Mildred Pierce

My earliest introduction to bitch slaps.  I first watched this with my mother one rainy Sunday afternoon when it aired on WNEW-TV Metromedia Channel 5.  Joan Crawford's finest moment on screen and Eve Arden sets the standard for the wise cracking girlfriend.  I wish people would slap each other like this in real life.

18.  Giant

As big as all of Texas, this saga of a ranching/oil drilling family could have been the genesis for TV's Dallas.  It's three hours long and doesn't feel it.  Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor are simply marvelous, although the late James Dean is a trifle miscast.  Still, I got to see this on a big screen out in Los Angeles and it's the only way to enjoy this George Stevens masterpiece.

17.  City Lights

Charlie Chaplin's finest.  The tramp falls in love with a blind flower girl.  If that sounds a bit sappy, you're right.  Nobody tugs on the heartstrings better than Chaplin.  As thick as the schmaltz is layered, the final scene is the benchmark for all filmmakers who want their audiences to be bawling their eyes out as they leave the theater.  If you can ever see it in a theater with live orchestration, run, don't walk.

16.  The Band Wagon

Everybody says that Singin' in the Rain is MGM's greatest musical.  And, since it shows up on my list later on, maybe it is.  But The Band Wagon is no sloppy second.  Almost completely devoid of plot, the movie still keeps you riveted through every delightful production number.  Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse's "Dancing in the Park" routine is one of those film moments that I can't turn off when I run into the film on TV.  Watch the dance once with the sound turned down.  Even in silence, it's beautiful.

15.  Ben-Hur

The 1959 edition, folks.  My mom used to take me to all the Biblical epics, but, somehow, I missed this one.   I never saw it until New Year's Eve day, 1987.  I had suffered a hairline fracture of the shoulder the night before so I decided to rent the longest movie I could find at the video store.  Even on a Zenith 19 inch portable TV screen, this film was so deeply powerful, yet amazingly intimate at the same time.  I've since gotten to see it several times on a big screen.  Yes, gang, Charlton Heston can act.  But, Stephen Boyd as Massala does steal the picture.

14.  Yankee Doodle Dandy

My very first movie addiction.  When I was really young, WOR-TV Channel 9 in New York ran the Million Dollar Movie.  The same picture ran every night and all day Saturday and Sunday for a week.   I think I watched every showing of this terrific biography of George M. Cohan.  Jimmy Cagney tapdancing down the stairs of the White House?  Legendary.

13.  It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

When I was a kid, I gravitated to all the comedians that my grandmother used to love on television.  This was my very first exposure to the likes of Milton Berle, Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Phil Silvers, and Buddy Hackett.  When this finally showed up at the Loews Theater in Mount Vernon, I think I went three times the next week.  And, when it later showed up on television, I watched it with my grandmother on her black and white Philco TV.  Meanwhile, as good as Grandma's favorites were in the movie, keep your eyes on "young" Jonathan Winters as he rules the screen every time the camera's on him.

12.  Bye Bye Birdie

This is the movie that jumpstarted my hormones at a very young age.  Ann-Margret.  Ann-Margret.  Ann-Margret.  Need I say more?  This played at the Loews Mount Vernon theater and I went five times in a single week.  And, in a rather bizarre display of crossed wires, the other main attraction for me in this film was Paul Lynde who I loved to imitate.  Years later, I should have been a lot more worried about myself than I was at the time.  When the movie soundtrack album came out with Ann-Margret on the cover....well, you don't really want to know what I did with that, do you?

11.  The Best Years of Our Lives

Along with the aforementioned Since You Went Away, I was always fascinated by the impact that World War II had on the American homefront.  I have my grandmother and her own Sunday Memory Drawers to thank for that.  This film shows you what happened when those surviving GIs came home.  The scenes with Oscar winner Harold Russell...well, they had me hooked.  Wink wink.

10.  Singin' In The Rain

The gold standard for MGM musicals from the 1950s.  So many moments that you can watch over and over and over.  Donald O'Connor making us laugh.  Debbie Reynolds saying Good Mornin'.  Gene Kelly showing us just how drip dry his pants really were.  I can watch this once a month and not be bored.  The new Blu Ray makes it look like the movie was produced last week.  Meanwhile, despite the star power of those mentioned above, Jean Hagen almost commits a Brinks Truck-like heist of the film with her portrayal of a musical comedy star who can't sing. 

9.  The Music Man

A different day and a different time.  Yes, the setting of this musical is the very innocent Midwest back at the turn of the century.  But, this film also marked a major life event for me.  It was the first time my parents let me go to the movies by myself.  I suppose neither one of them was interested in seeing it.  So, my father dropped me off at the RKO Proctor Theater in Mount Vernon, New York.  He squared it away with the usherette to watch over me and he picked me up exactly three hours later.  Originally, I saw "The Music Man" because my childhood hero was Ronny Howard.  But, this is perhaps the quintessential Broadway musical comedy and the screen adaptation is just as wonderful.

8.  Jaws

I saw it on the day it opened in June of 1975 in what had to be one of the oddest-shaped theaters ever built.  It was this bizarre bandbox on Fordham Road.  The theater was so rectangular that it gave you the illusion of watching a movie in a bowling alley.  Meanwhile, none of us knew where the scares were, so, at the end of two hours, we were scared shitless.  The glory of this movie is that, even if you've seen it over and over, it still works every time.  A few years back, the Aero Theater in Santa Monica ran it on a Saturday night.  The place was packed and parents were exposing their kids to it for the first time.  They didn't know where the scares were, so the screams were real and organic.  By the way, the Blu Ray edition which was just released makes the film look like it was filmed yesterday.

7.  The Bridge on the River Kwai

My father shepherded me to all the really important war films.  He really wanted to give me a sense of the vital moments in recent American history, as he had just lived through them himself.  So, when "Bridge" first ran on network television, I got to stay up to the ungodly hour of Sunday night 11:30PM to watch it.  Perhaps the most intimate of all war movies, I make this required viewing at least once every two years.  Oddly enough, I have never gotten to see it on a big screen and I am waiting anxiously for some classic theater here in Los Angeles to unspool it for me. 

6.  Sons of the Desert

Laurel and Hardy's finest hour.   Well, hour and about fifteen minutes.  Whenever Stan and Ollie were on television, you'd find me and Grandma in front of the tube.  She talked frequently about one of their movies which she claims to have seen in an open air theater somewhere in the Bronx.  In it, they were selling Christmas trees and she said she never laughed harder in her life.  Frankly, I thought she made it all up until I finally saw said short on Turner Classic Movies.  She was right.  It was hilarious.  Meanwhile, "Sons of the Desert" is their finest feature-length movie.  The boys lie to their wives so they can go to a convention.  How simple a plot?  How glorious a movie!  It gave me one of the movie lines I have quoted most in my life.  "Honesty is the best politics."

5.  The Godfather

The last movie I went to see with my dad in an actual theater.  Now, I had read the Mario Puzo book as did all the boys in my neighborhood.  You read Page 27.   Over and over and over.  Sex education courtesy of the Mafia.  So, when the film came out, I couldn't wait to see how they put Page 27 on the big screen.   Imagine my horror when my own father, caught up by the film's frenzy, announced he wanted to take me to see it.  Ummm.  Er.  Ummmm.  Er.  Well, Page 27 came pretty early on in the movie.  It was tame by comparison to the book.  But, still, I sat there stone-faced and never once did I look at my dad throughout the entire sequence.  There are just some things you don't share with a parent.  Meanwhile, the movie itself was then and is now still a masterpiece.

4.  Rear Window

Only Alfred Hitchcock could keep a camera trained on the windows of a New York apartment building and get a riveting two-hour movie.  Sheer magic happens whenever I see it.  The true mark of a successful movie is if you can find something new in it with every successive viewing.  I just saw it again about two weeks ago at the Aero Theater and I found myself looking for little nuances in some of the apartments that Hitch doesn't focus on primarily.  There are gold nuggets all over the place.  Suspense that holds you in its grip no matter how many times you see it.  Thelma Ritter again is the snappy housekeeper you want to hire for your own apartment.  And how cool a villain's name is "Lars Thorwald?"

3.  North by Northwest

Back-to-back Hitchcock in my Top 5 and why the hell not?  Both films are as perfect as they come.  There is not a single wasted shot in all of "North by Northwest."  The perfect blend of comedy and suspense, which never crosses the line into either category.  Cary Grant is the ideal "wrong man at the wrong time and at the wrong place," a device Hitchcock used over and over and over.  As dire as his situation is, he pops off one-liners that have you giggling through the terror.  His best line when he sees Eva Marie Saint working together with villain James Mason:  "You here with her.  That's a picture that even Charles Addams couldn't draw."  Meanwhile, the crop dusting scene is legendary and required repeat viewing for any movie fan.

2.  Some Like It Hot

For years and years, I called this terrific Billy Wilder concoction my absolute favorite movie of all time.  And it's damn good.  The film provided me with my very first occasion of actually hearing people laugh in a movie theater.  My parents took me at a very young age.  I had no clue where the hell I was.  But, it was in the Loews Theater in Mount Vernon, New York.   As was always the case back in the day, you entered a movie theater regardless of where you were in the double feature.  And we walked into "Some Like It Hot" during the last ten minutes, when Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon are being chased around the hotel dressed as women.  The theater was enveloped in laughter.  And so were, in a rare moviegoing moment together, my parents.  Don't get me wrong.  This is and always will be a perfect comedy.  But, as I grew older and more experienced in life, there was another film that seemed to fit me even a little comfortably as my #1 Favorite Movie of All Time...

1.  The Apartment

Indeed, this Billy Wilder comedy-drama is most representative of life itself.  With its ups and downs.  Its joyous moments.  Its disappointments.  People connecting and un-connecting and then connecting again.  Sometimes, it makes sense.  Other times, it does not.   As time and I wore on, I realized that "The Apartment" continually says more to me about the world we live in than any other movie.  Wonderfully funny and harrowingly dramatic.  Two diverse reactions that can occur within seconds of each other as the characters of C.C. Baxter, Fran Kubelik, and Mr. Sheldrake play out their lives which could be the same issues confronting you and I.  Meanwhile, there is still a smile on my face throughout.  To enjoy "The Apartment" is to experience life itself.  Jack Lemmon, Shirley McLaine, and Fred MacMurray have never been better.  I've been in screenings of the movie where grown adults hiss at Fred from the audience.  Reactions like that show you that the film, as crafted by Herr Wilder, is working.  The Best Picture Oscar winner of 1960 and my Best Picture winner of my life.  What?  You haven't seen it?  Well, "just shut up and deal."

So there's the list again, gang.  For those of you into weird trivia, you can pay attention to the following:

Billy Wilder has directed three of the movies on this list.

Alfred Hitchcock has directed two of the movies on this list.

William Wyler has directed two of the movies on this list.

Those actors appearing in films more than once on this list:  the aforementioned Thelma Ritter, James Cagney, Buddy Hackett, Cyd Charisse, and Jack Lemmon.

By decade, there are 2 films from the 30s, 4 from the 40s, 11 from the 50s, 5 from the 60s, 2 from the 70s, and 1 from the 80s.

And, speaking to the state of Hollywood today, there is not one movie on this list made after the year 1987. 

Dinner last night:  General Tso's Beef plus hot and sour soup from Mandarette.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - April 2020

Sixty years ago, westerns ruled TV's prime time schedule.   And this one was a favorite of my grandparents.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for April 2020

Oh, wait...

All of the above theaters I have been a patron at.   Hopefully again.   Very soon.

Dinner last night:  Ham bone and bean soup.