Hollywood Then and Now - June 2022

 

I've shown you before the amazing transformation of this building.   Back in the day, it was the May Department Store on Wilshire.  Now it houses the Motion Picture Academy Museum.  

But, for today's addendum, I call to your attention the area in the upper right.  That would have been the parking lot for those May Co. customers.

Not so much now.

This dome-like structure now occupies what used to be the parking lot.   It is the home of David Geffen's Academy movie theater.   Seating 1500, it is glorious inside and I finally got to see it the other night at a showing of "All That Jazz."

Geffen sure did think of everything.   The theater inside is gorgeous.   And plenty of "handicapped" seating for the disabled older Academy members.

Except...

There are no bathrooms in the dome.   If you have to use the facilities, you have to walk all the way back to the Museum building.   

You see...modern times don't always provide the best of innovations.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

This Date in History - June 29

 

Happy birthday to the baseball player who had the coolest sounding last name when it was spoken by a French-Canadian public address announcer.

226:  CAO PI DIES AFTER AN ILLNESS.  HIS SON CAO RUI SUCCEEDS HIM AS EMPEROR OF THE KINGDOM OF WEI.

Obviously, this year was the very last slice of pi.

1149:  RAYMOND OF POITIERS IS DEFEATED AND KILLED AT THE BATTLE OF INAB.

Well, obviously, not everybody loved Raymond.  And you thought this was going to be a Sidney joke.

1444:  SKANDERBEG DEFEATS AN OTTOMAN INVASION FORCE AT TORVIOLL.

Which reminds me...you can also get an ottoman at Ikea.

1613:  THE GLOBE THEATER IN LONDON, ENGLAND BURNS TO THE GROUND.

Much to the disappointment to those who had tickets for June 30, 1613.

1659:  AT THE BATTLE OF KONOTOP, THE UKRAINIAN ARMIES OF IVAN VYHOVSKY DEFEAT THE RUSSIANS LED BY PRINCE TRUBETSKOY.

Backwards, it's potonok.

1850:  COAL IS DISCOVERED ON VANCOUVER ISLAND.

Which gave rise to the very first minstrel show in Vancouver.

1864:  NINETY-NINE PEOPLE ARE KILLED IN CANADA'S WORST RAILWAY DISASTER NEAR QUEBEC.

They couldn't make it an even hundred?

1874:  GREEK POLITICIAN CHARILAOS TRIKOUPIS PUBLISHES A MANIFESTO ENTITLED "WHO'S TO BLAME?" IN WHICH HE LAYS OUT HIS COMPLAINTS AGAINST KING GEORGE.

Years later, Barack Obama publishes his own "Who's To Blame?" in which he lays out his complaints against President George.

1880:  FRANCE ANNEXES TAHITI.

Well, how friggin' hard a decision was that?  Announce that you're annexing Selma. Alabama and then you're taking a risk.

1889:  HYDE PARK AND SEVERAL OTHER ILLINOIS TOWNSHIPS VOTE TO BE ANNEXED BY CHICAGO, FORMING THE LARGEST UNITED STATES CITY.

Like they always do in Chicago, they voted early and often.

1910:  COMPOSER FRANK LOESSER IS BORN.

Luck be a midwife tonight.

1911:  COMPOSER BERNARD HERRMANN IS BORN.

He did all the Hitchcock scores.  A genius.  The best ever.

1920:  FILMMAKER RAY HARRYHAUSEN IS BORN.

His movie special effects were primitive and old-fashioned.  They still looked 100 times more real than any of the computer shit you would see in movies like Thor.

1928:  THE OUTERBRIDGE CROSSING AND GOETHALS BRIDGE IN STATEN ISLAND ARE BOTH OPENED.

As if anybody actually goes to Staten Island on purpose.

1933:  ACTOR FATTY ARBUCKLE DIES.

The official inventor of the Hollywood scandal.

1936:  BASEBALL PLAYER HARMON KILLEBREW IS BORN.

And he just died a few years ago.   The circle of life.

1941:  BASEBALL PLAYER JOHN BOCCABELLA IS BORN.

One more time, please  BOC-CA-BEL-LA!!!!

1945:  CARPATHIAN RUTHENIA IS ANNEXED BY THE SOVIET UNION.

And the official password for June 29 is "annex."

1954:  DODGER PITCHING COACH RICK HONEYCUTT IS BORN.

Well known to Dodger fans, he used to be the guy walking back and forth to the mound six or seven times every game.

1967:  ACTRESS JAYNE MANSFIELD IS KILLED IN A CAR CRASH.

What's that in the road...a head?

1974:  MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV DEFECTS FROM RUSSIA TO CANADA WHILE ON TOUR.

Wait till he found out how bad the health care was there.

1976:  THE SEYCHELLES BECOME INDEPENDENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.

I don't know the Seychelles.  What were their biggest hits?

1978:  ACTOR BOB CRANE DIES.

Beated to death with a camera tripod and I don't think that's the appropriate use for one of those things.

1995:  ACTRESS LANA TURNER DIES.

The postman never rings a third time.

1999:  PRODUCER ALLAN CARR DIES.

Out of gas.

2002:  SINGER ROSEMARY CLOONEY DIES.

I remember this day vividly.  I had heard she was not long for our world so I drove past her house on Roxbury.  George Clooney was having a cigarette on the front lawn.  One of my truly favorite singers of all time.  And I got to meet her once!

2003:  ACTRESS KATHARINE HEPBURN DIES.

Guess who wasn't coming to dinner?

2007:  FILM CRITIC JOEL SIEGEL DIES.

He probably didn't like this.

2020:  TV PRODUCER/ACTOR CARL REINER DIES.

A brilliant guy who I once met in a bathroom while picking up wet paper towels from the floor.

2021:  POLITICIAN DONALD RUMSFELD DIES.

Him I never met.

Dinner last night:  Fried chicken sandwich at Uncool.

So This Is Such a Thing?

 

You can find help for anything these days.  And, thanks to Google, you apparently can find somebody to help you have better sex.  

At least in every country but the United States, where that person would still be called a prostitute.

Such is the topic of this small movie streaming on Hulu called "Good Luck To You, Leo Grande."   And I guess the name Leo Grande should give you the tip of who the sex worker is in this film.   

Unlike something like the Jurassic World series, here's a movie that is ideal for the small screen. It is essentially a two character piece largely set in a hotel room.   We watch four such "sex sessions" between an older school teacher played by Emma Thompson and an Irish sex worker played by young Eric McCormack.   

Thompson's character is recently widowed and she has come to realize that, during her married years, her husband's lovemaking left much to be desired.  She wants to learn more albeit with occasional reluctance.

Enter Leo Grande who, despite his work, has his own issues and they are mostly rooted in a horrible relationship with his mother.   Together, they meet and largely just talk about their lives and their issues.   While sex should be the focus of their connection, it frequently is not.   They talk and they argue and they talk some more and they argue some more.  Forgive me if that makes it all sound very uninteresting.   Indeed, these two actors make the movie very compelling.

Naturally, the sex does eventually play a major part in the conclusion of this film and kudos particularly to Emma for literally letting it all hang out.  A lot of the movie revolves around self esteem and shyness about nudity.   Except, from what you see on the screen, neither actor is all that timid.

I did a little research after the screening and discovered that this particular occupation is a common one in Europe.   Hmmm.  If only it came to the United States in a legal fashion.   That could potentially end all the nervous fumbling of teenagers' first sexual experiences.

Len said wistfully.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - June 27, 2022

I love Oliver the Beagle videos.  Especially when he does his impression of Liberace.

Dinner last night: Ribeye steak, pan roasted tomatoes, and potato salad.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Longest Island

 

Last Sunday was Father's Day and I spent the day at home in Los Angeles.   Alone.

Making sausage, peppers, and onions.   For myself.   Such is the life of somebody with no children.   And no "pseudo" nieces and nephews nearby.

It wasn't always so on this harbinger day of the upcoming summer.   Nursing my glass of red wine...alone...I suddenly was awash with reminders. Another tsunami of memories from my childhood.  Because summer Sundays always seemed to be spent in one place.

When was the last time I had sat in Sunday summer traffic heading out of Long Island?

And how many times did this happen when I was a kid?

I can't answer the former, but I know the response to the latter.

A whole freakin' lot.

It seems like that's all my family ever did on Sundays during the summer.  Go out to visit somebody in Long Island.  Hell, don't we know anybody where a bridge toll isn't involved??

This process killed me all the time.  During those days, I wanted to be home for the day.  Curled up with a New York Mets doubleheader on the television.  I'd put up a stink.  Can't I stay home and watch baseball?  Either parent came back with the same retort.

"You can watch the Mets there."

Groan.

So we'd pile into the car.  My folks and sometimes Grandma and even my beagle Tuffy.  We'd head down Baychester Avenue in the Bronx on our way to either the Bronx Whitestone Bridge and the Throgs Neck Bridge.  Stopping briefly so I could throw two quarters into the toll basket.  (I noted the toll now is $7.50!!)  And, once on "the other side," we'd be up for a day of fun and frivolity.

Or, as I would often prefer, a fork in the eye.

There were a bunch of places we could be headed.

Maybe Floral Park where my parents had friends, Joe and Dotty, with three or maybe four awful kids.  I've written about this form of waterboarding before.  Joe was the guy missing some fingers.  Enough said.

Or New Hyde Park.  My parents had another set of friends there.  Mike and....wait for it...Dotty.  From what I was told, my folks and those two were like the Ricardos and the Mertzes before I was born.  They went everywhere together and I saw the photos for proof.  Now they had a daughter, Joanne, who I had zero in common with.  And, to make matters worse, Dotty was now in a wheelchair.  Another cry for an explanation that always went unanswered.  I never found out how she wound up there.

Or we could really travel and wind up at Lake Ronkonkoma.  I can still spell that correctly to this day.  My parents had old neighborhood friends from Mount Vernon who had recently moved there.  A couple of Greeks named Nick and Eppie.  They had two kids who I had....wait for it...zero in common with.  Their names were George and Effie.  The names alone killed me in this house.  Meanwhile, their old Greek grandmother lived with them.  She was always dressed completely in black and hadn't altered this fashion statement since 1943.  They called her "Ya Ya." 

The problem with this set-up was that the old lady had the only television in the house.  So, when I attempted to tune into the Mets, I had to ask for her permission.

"I don't think we get Channel 9 here."

You're in the New York metropolitan area, Granny, not Athens!

The fight would always have me losing because everything with Ya Ya was "No No."  She'd make another offer.

"Don't you want to watch the Ted Mack Amateur Hour?  He always puts on a good show."

Kill me now.

So I'd wind up with the two kids play acting in the yard.  George had his own issues.  No matter what we were enacting, he wanted me to kill him in our little playlet. 

"Okay, so now you shoot me dead...."

"You come save Effie and stab me in the heart..."

"Let's pretend you push me into the BBQ grill and I burn to death..."

Even the sunniest days in Lake Ronkonkoma were as dark as night.

Of course, our most frequent trips to Long Island were to my mom's loopy sister and that bunch in Deer Park.  There, I had two cousins, Patty and Bobby, who were my age.  Plus they'd had a backyard pool so there would be endless fun.  Eventually, I'd put Tuffy in a plastic boat and push her around the pool until it inevitably tipped over and she would dogpaddle herself out.

I'd still want to know what the Mets were doing, but there was no luck in this home either.  At some point, I'd go into the house where the television was being guarded by my Uncle Bob, who was a huge Yankee fan and might have even slept with Mickey Mantle at one point.  I'd ask very politely if I could check for the Mets score.

"We don't watch the Mets here.  This is a New York Yankee house."

Persecuted for my beliefs and I wasn't even ten years old.

I'd hang around and wait in the living room because the way Uncle Bob guzzled beer, he'd have to empty the bladder soon enough.  While he whizzed away in the bathroom, I'd quickly change the channel and hope that Lindsey Nelson would give the score of the Mets game in the next minute and thirty seconds.  As soon as I heard the flush, I'd switch the TV back to Channel 11 and the guys playing in the Bronx.

Logistically, the town of Islip was just a short drive from Deer Park and that's often why Grandma came along on these trips.  You see, we had some distant relatives there.  They even had our same last name but, to this day, I have no clue how they were related to us.  There was a couple there that were my parents' age, Ruth and Lenny.  Yes, he had the same name as me.  Plus his mother lived with them and she also had been dressed in black since the days of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  Grandma liked to go over and spend time with this lady.  And I still never understood the connection.

I went along when she would drop Grandma off for an afternoon visit.  The old lady also had a TV here.  Can I watch the Mets game?

"Channel 9?  Oh, that always comes in with a lot of snow."

I would smack my head in disbelief.

Now, my namesake in this house was a bit of a screwball.  Probably because I never saw him sober.  I once saw him run headfirst into a tree trunk.  Meanwhile, I would wander into the kitchen where my mother was often seated with a completely frazzled Ruth.  And she would always be saying the same thing.

"I can't take it anymore.  I want to divorce him."

Who the hell were these people and why do I care?????

So, regardless of where I was in either Nassau or Suffolk County, I could never catch a break.  Or find out the score of the Mets game.  But, as every summer Sunday on Long Island would wind down, I, at least, had the solace of going home for my weekly television tradition. 

I could stay up till 11PM and watch my two favorite Sunday night shows.  "Candid Camera" and "What's My Line?" 

The only problem was that the folks liked to linger wherever they were.  My shows started at 10PM.  We were still in Deer Park at 830PM.  Can we go?  NOW??????

Because I knew what the rides home would be like.  No matter what road you drove on.  Northern State.  Southern State.  Long Island Expressway.  They were all clogged with people headed back to New York City.  The trips home could often last for two hours.

Meanwhile, in the back seat, my grandmother did her usual brand of torture.  As soon as we would get into the car for the trip home, Grandma would immediately reach into her pocketbook and take out her back door keys.  She was ready to be home.  Of course, she would fumble with these keys for the entire ride.  Even though I was staring at the back of my mother's head, I could see her eyes rolling in disgust.

Dad would stop and start the entire trip.  Tuffy would be sound asleep up on the back window of the car.  Of course, my father would have to slam on the brakes at some time and this would send the dog flying from the window to the floor of the back seat.  It's a wonder she would live to the age of 18.

Dad, bored by the traffic, would start fiddling with the radio.  He'd stop on a news station.  My ears would perk up.

"And, today, in the sports world...."

My father would hit another button and suddenly it was Vic Damone on WNEW-AM.

The disc jockey would give the time.  9:42PM.  Damn, no Mets score and now maybe no "Candid Camera."  I'd be lucky to salvage "What's My Line."

It seemed like a weekly eternity before we would be safely across whichever Bronx bridge we used that Sunday.  Heck, I might make it home in time.   And, then, my mother, silent for the whole trip except for some loud "tsks" about Grandma's door key twirling, would make the dreaded announcement.

"We better stop at the candy store.  I'm down to my last pack."

And I'm down to my last nerve. 

Another summer Sunday on Long Island.  Final score?  Universe, one million.  Len, nothing.  I'd get home just in time to hear...

"And this is John Charles Daly saying goodnight for 'What's My Line'......"

Dinner last night:  Mongolian Beef from Chin Chin.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - June 2022

Yikes!  This opened forty years ago this month.   So Drew Barrymore can't really lie about her age.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Fondly Recalling the Signs of An Earlier Pandemic

 

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

In "Jurassic World Dominion," that time is...well...now.  Because, in what is billed as the concluding chapter of the Jurassic film franchise, there is a cast of a thousand dinosaurs.  There are so many creatures running around that the list of puppeteers and special effects folks at the end credits runs for about ten minutes.

Back in 1993, "Jurassic Park" was the ultimate summertime movie and, in 2022, the same can be said for this sixth chapter.  Loud, noisy, and exciting, this is a film you need to see on the biggest screen possible and that doesn't include the LED in your living room.   This is the kind of movie you see with an audience and some freshly buttered popcorn.  

The cool feature about this one is that it combines the casts of the first three films with the cast of the last two chapters.   So, you can see cavorting together, at least for the last half-hour, the likes of Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Chris Pratt.   Meanwhile, you also have the thread of the entire franchise, scientist B.D. Wong.  It all works even if you wish all of them had gotten together a little earlier in the film.

There are some minor quibbles for sure.   You wonder what producer Steven Spielberg would have done as director...most notably in cutting down the 150 minute run time.   Plus there are not enough hints of the classic original theme music from John Williams.

In a nod to present day cinema, there is now the requisite presence of two heroic and noble Black characters.   And there's also a bit of a preachy epilogue that is a reminder to all of us that we need to learn how to live together.  Jeez, even the Jurassic franchise is not immune to the woke culture.

But those are minor gripes.   Just revel in going out to the movies and seeing a fun summer movie just like you did back in 1993.   And munch on your Goobers while some dinosaur is doing the same with a deer on the big screen.

LEN'S RATING:  Three-and-a-half stars.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

This Date in History - June 22

 

Happy birthday, Billy Wilder.  The greatest film director ever.

217 BC:  PTOLEMY IV PHILOPATOR OF EGYPT DEFEATS ANTIOCHUS III THE GREAT OF THE SELEUCID KINGDOM.

Seleucid?  I think that has some nasty side effects.

1633:  THE HOLY OFFICE IN ROME FORCES GALILEO GALILEI TO RECANT HIS VIEW THAT THE SUN, NOT THE EARTH, IS CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.

Sun 1, Earth 0.

1783:  A POISONOUS CLOUD CAUSED BY THE ERUPTION OF THE LAKI VOLCANO IN ICELAND REACHES LE HAVRE IN FRANCE.

As if the French would even recognize a nasty odor.

1807:  IN THE CHESAPEAKE-LEOPOLD AFFAIR, THE BRITISH WARSHIP HMS LEOPARD ATTACKS AND BOARDS THE AMERICAN FRIGATE USS CHESAPEAKE.

Leopard 1, Chesapeake 0.

1844:  THE FRATERNITY DELTA KAPPA EPSILON IS FOUNDED AT YALE UNIVERSITY.

And then thereby inventing alcoholism amongst college students.

1898:  DURING THE SPANISH-AMERICAN WAR, THE U.S. MARINES LAND IN CUBA.

Cigars all around.

1903:  GANGSTER JOHN DILLINGER IS BORN.

He should have watched the movie on Netflix.

1906:  DIRECTOR BILLY WILDER IS BORN.

A film legacy that is unequaled.

1906:  THE FLAG OF SWEDEN IS ADOPTED.

After several years being a foster flag.

1919: DANCER GOWER CHAMPION IS BORN.

A good thing since, otherwise, Marge would have had to do a solo.

1918:  THE HAMMOND CIRCUS TRAIN WRECK KILLS 86 AND INJURES 127 NEAR HAMMOND, INDIANA.

An idea plagarized years later by Cecil B. DeMille in "The Greatest Show on Earth."

1921:  BROADWAY PRODUCER JOSEPH PAPP IS BORN.

Also famous for his smear.

1941:  GERMANY INVADES RUSSIA.

Oh, sure, those goose steps are impressive now, but just you wait...

1944:  PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT SIGNS INTO LAW THE GI BILL.

The smartest thing he ever did.  Oh, yeah, that and cheating on the wife.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE BATTLE OF OKINAWA ENDS JAPANESE ARMY FORCES COLLAPSE.

Years later, they still couldn't get a break when Ghidra the Three-Headed Monster came to town.

1949:  ACTRESS MERYL STREEP IS BORN.

She made two movies last week.  Oh, wait, make that four movies last week.

1953:  SINGER CYNDI LAUPER IS BORN.

Girls just want to have fun.

1969:  SINGER JUDY GARLAND DIES.

Over the rainbow and she expires while on the toilet bowl.  PS, her crypt used to be right around the corner from my mother at Ferncliff Cemetery.  Five years ago, they moved her to LA.   My mom is still in Ferncliff.

1976:  THE CANADIAN HOUSE OF COMMONS ABOLISHES CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

At least, their criminals can travel to the United States if they want to be executed.

1987:  ACTOR-DANCER FRED ASTAIRE DIES.

Never gonna dance...

1988:  SINGER DENNIS DAY DIES.

Not his day at all.

1990:  CHECKPOINT CHARLIE IS DISMANTLED IN BERLIN.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that Checkpoint.

1993:  FORMER FIRST LADY PAT NIXON DIES.

Mrs. "I am not a crook" to you.

2002:  BASEBALL PITCHER DARRYL KILE DIES.

Met physicians just put him on the 60-day disabled list.

2002:  COLUMNIST ANN LANDERS DIED.

Dear Abby,...er, never mind.

2006:  DOG ACTOR MOOSE DIES.

The mutt from "Frasier."  Who gets his rerun residuals?

2008:  COMEDIAN GEORGE CARLIN DIES.

A bad forecast for that hippy dippy weatherman.

2009:  EASTMAN KODAK ANNOUNCES THAT IT WILL DISCONTINUE SALES OF KODACHROME COLOR FILM.

Well, there goes Paul Simon's career.

2013:  TV PRODUCER GARY DAVID GOLDBERG DIES.

Family Untied.

2014:  SINGER STEVE ROSSI DIES.

Goodbye dere.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

Hello 1969

Walk into Broadway's Hudson Theater any time before July 10 and that's what you can say.

Hello 1969.

You are time traveled back to a Broadway of yesteryear.   When folks waited for that season's new comedy from Neil Simon.   And wondering what star power would be behind the production.

I wanted to feel a little of that nostalgia so I went to see the "new" production of the late Neil Simon's relic from the late 60s.   With the star power provided by everybody's favorite married couple Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick.  The show is still set unabashedly in another era and that is a good thing as this production embraces all that is good about a night out at the theater.

I'm always a sucker for Simon even if some of his comedies are lavish productions of sitcom fare.   Indeed, these "hotel" works of his are really more lavish episodes of "Love American Style."  And that's not always a bad thing.  Especially when you have SJP and Broderick leading you to the laughs.

"Plaza Suite" is essentially three elongated sketches of varying degrees of laughter.   The first is the most serious of the comedies as a housewife comes to the realization that her husband is having an affair with his secretary.   The second is all about a Hollywood producer looking to seduce some girl he went to New Jersey high school with.  Peppered with references to Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow and an uneasy look at a Harvey Weinstein-like predator, this sketch is the most dated despite the laughs.

But whenever you see "Plaza Suite," the price of admission is rewarded by the third episode where an older married couple tries to get their bride-daughter to come out of the locked bathroom and get married.   The timing and the slapstick and the mayhem are non-stop and worthy of the great Broadway farces.   Again, as it probably did in 1969, the third story did not disappoint.

And neither did the stars.   Indeed, Matthew Broderick's performance slowly evolved over the evening.  He was weakest in the first, a little better in the second, and showstopping as the chagrined father in the third.  But even at his more mediocre moments, Broderick commanded your attention.

But, truly, his wonderful wife was a revelation throughout all three adventures.  SJP has an amazing stage presence with Lucille Ball-like moments that captivated me all night.  

Neil Simon would have been proud.   And the audience in 2022, as they were in 1969, were rewarded with a vintage night at the theater.

Dinner last night: Bacon caesar salad.

 

Monday Morning Video Laugh - June 20, 2022

 Everybody loves a June bridal bouquet fight.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thinking About My Father's Father

 

On this Father's Day, I give my dad stories a rest for a year.   I am going for an earlier generation.

This is one of the only photos I have of my grandfather.   Fittingly, he was right next to Grandma.   I don't think one ever really went anywhere without the other.

This date makes me think.

All the elders in my family are gone.  My parents, as well as my aunts and uncles, all got wiped out over a ten year period.  Some people remember the date their relatives die.  Truth be told, I'd actually have to look up the exact day that my parents and my grandmother passed away.  It's not worth remembering.  When I want to conjure up a calendar point to recall the good times, I much prefer to do that on their birth dates which are forever etched in my mind.

I, however, cannot forget the date my grandfather died.  March 23.  It's easy to remember because it was one day after his birthday.  Symmetry like that is not hard to ignore.  A few years back, I recall from his obituary that TV host Mike Douglas actually died on his birthday.  Well, that certainly makes for clean record keeping in Heaven's central office.  Grandpa missed that distinction by 24 hours.

So, I think about Grandpa this week and flashback to a piece I wrote here several years back.

In these Sunday memory drawer recollections, Grandpa's made only fleeting appearances. Part of the reason why is that he was one of the earliest departures from my life. Grandpa died when I was 12. So, I didn't get him that long. But, there are some random memories that have stayed with me.

In reality, though, I really don't know much about the man beyond what I was told by my grandmother. Or what I remember from my very wee years.

From what I was told, Grandpa had a variety of jobs over the years. I did see a picture of him standing behind a bar with an apron on, so I assume he was a bartender at one point. There was some other talk about him driving a delivery truck. But, the job I know he had the longest was for a milk company. Borden's or "Bordink's" as my grandmother called it. What he did there was a mystery, except, at least, he had achieved an upgrade in the healthy aspects of the beverages he was involved with.

But, as far back as I can remember, he was already retired. Sitting in that big easy chair in the living room and yelling at the wrestlers on TV. If the match got particularly nasty, he would move closer to the edge of the cushion, as if his next move was to vault into the ring himself. If it was really intense, the instructions yelled at the set by both Grandpa and Grandma were in German, so I'd be lost. At the foot of his easy chair was always a glass bottle of Kruger Beer. My grandfather actually had beer delivered to the home every Wednesday morning. Tuffy, our dog, would hear the truck's squeaky wheels from blocks away and her incessant barking always heralded the "beerman's" arrival.

On Sunday afternoons, I can always remember Grandpa sitting at the kitchen table, reading the Daily News. I'd sit alongside him, which was always the signal for him to go into Fiorello LaGuardia mode. Even though I could read at a very early age, my grandfather liked to read the funnies to me.

"So, Moon Mullins sits down on the couch and says to Kayo..."

I have no clue why Grandpa liked to do this with me, but it happened like clockwork every Sunday.

There are other snapshots.

Grandpa's lunch often consisted of a slice or two of head cheese in a plate covered by vinegar. Head cheese is the cold cut that is made up of all the parts of a pig most people don't eat. The whole meal looked gross to me.

"Wanna try some?"

I'd run away in horror.

My grandparents would eat their supper early. Usually around 4:30PM. Which meant that, from 3:30PM to about 4:15PM every day, Grandpa was missing in action. That was his time to walk two blocks and hoist a few brews at what my grandmother referred to as "the beer garden." He never came home drunk. It was simply his daily cocktail hour.

I do recall, however, one night where Grandpa was completely snockered. There was a community place on Stevens Avenue in Mount Vernon called the Turn Hall and they frequently featured Saturday night dances for any Germans interested. My family and all its tentacles always showed up. And, for some inexplicable reason, I got carted along at the age of 5. They'd sit me down at a table with a Coke and my favorite Colorforms set while the immediate world would commence to polka. While I got bored, Grandpa got pickled.

It was a rainy night and we all piled into my dad's car for the trip home. I was in the back seat, seating beside Grandma and on my grandfather's lap. Soaked to the gills, he used the moment to get very amorous. With me.

Kissing me all over my face, Grandpa kept announcing over and over. "I love you, I love you so much, I love you, I love you so much."

It was mere minutes before Grandma had endured enough. There was an ice cold stare.

"If you don't stop that, I'd gonna pop you one with this goddamn umbrella."

Who knows what happened behind their closed bedroom door that night.

When I was really young, my father worked days. So, any transport that my mom and I needed during the daytime hours was provided by Grandpa and his green Buick sedan. On my very first day in the first grade, my school was closed at noon because of an impending hurricane which was going to hit New York dead on. Grandpa picked me up outside for the five block ride home. He never ever showed much emotion. But, looking out the window at a raging wind and blinding rain, he appeared a little vulnerable. Almost scared.

"Oh, my God, this is going to be a hurricane."

During the summer months, the Grandpa transport extended to Orchard Beach where he would drop us off and pick us up after a day at the "Bronx Riviera." On one ride home, there were two other passengers with us. One of my mother's friends and her kid. Well, anyway, mucho chatter had ensued. And, for some reason, Grandpa seemed to be a little unsure about the way home. And then he ran a stop sign. And whacked a car coming the other direction.

I got knocked onto the floor of the back seat, but everybody was otherwise okay. Surprisingly, there was no damage to our car. And a medium-sized dent on the car we hit. But, the real trauma was etched on Grandpa's face. He was crestfallen. He had never been involved in an accident before. His demeanor showed the result of his epiphany. With his reflexes slowing down, he was encountering the inevitable.

His driving days were over.

As my family often did, we went into lockdown mode. Grandpa whispered to me.

"Don't tell your grandmother."

Check.

My mother whispered to me.

"Don't tell your father."

Check again.

Somehow, this was going to be a little secret between my mother and my grandfather. And me. But, there was an obvious leak because I soon noticed that my father would do all the driving whenever my grandparents needed to go someplace. To the supermarket every Thursday. To the Bronx on the first Tuesday of every month when my grandmother saw her doctor and then they shopped for Kosher dill pickles at some neighborhood they called "Jew Town." More importantly, that accident was never discussed ever again.

The years and more were closing in on Grandpa.

That fall, he came down with pnuemonia and pleuresy, which had him bedridden at home for about a month. He really was never the same after that. Breathes became shorter. Walks to the beer garden became extinct. And he even stopped smoking his beloved pipe.

By the following March, the days were dwindling down to a precious few. On the day Grandpa would pass away, I would conveniently be home from school. I had brokered an afternoon home sick. Partly because of a sore throat. Mostly because I wanted to listen to a Met spring exhibition game on the radio. My mom had walked around the corner to the grocery store. Sequestered in my room on the bed with my transistor radio, I suddenly heard my grandmother wail from downstairs.

"Lenny, quick. Go run and get your mother. I think something happened to Grandpa!"

I scooted quickly out of the house like Lassie when Timmy fell down the well. My mother dropped all her groceries in the store and told me to come along. I told her I would stay there. It was no time to argue. She ran out.

Within five minutes, amidst the cans of Krasdale vegetables, I could hear the faint but scary sound of sirens. Those noises have bothered me to this date. But, the only thing worse than hearing those piercing mechanical cries is knowing that they are headed to your house.

Eventually, I headed home and kept myself busy. Upstairs away from the activity. Because of all the strangers in the house, I grabbed Tuffy and hid in the bathroom. I don't think I came out for an hour.

Grandpa was gone. I later heard the details. His labored exhales had caught the dog's attention as she sat at his feet. My grandmother noticed this.

"Pop, Tuffy is listening to you breathe."

He apparently leaned forward to look at my dog, smiled, and then leaned back to die. In his favorite easy chair.

The sum total of my memories about my grandfather, my dad's dad, are etched above for the ages. I just wish I had him a little longer than I did.

Dinner last night:  Spicy pizza at CPK.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - June 2022

My current TV binge...almost 25 years after the show first aired.   And I love Calista Flockhart.

Dinner last night:  Bratwurst and kraut at the Dodger game.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for June 2022

 

I guess we would be remiss in not mentioning that "Deep Throat" opened fifty years ago this month.  So there.

What's out in theaters in June 2022?   Well, you know the drill, gang.  I'll sift through the movie pages of the local newspaper and give you my knee jerk reaction to what's out there.   My guess is that it's nowhere close to "Deep Throat."  A tough fact to swallow.

Top Gun Maverick:  Reviewed here yesterday.   Good summer diversion even if the sequel took 36 years to come out.

Jurassic World Dominion:  When dinosaurs rule the world.   Which I think is now.   And that includes you, Maxine Waters.

The Bob's Burgers Movie:  I hear the comedy in this animation is well done, but my viewings of the TV show have been rare.

Lightyear:  Another Pixar adventure but what??!!!  No Tim Allen???!!!

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande:  Emma Thompson tries to spice up her sex life. Um, not with me.

Official Competition:  Something with Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas Jr.. which means there will be accents.

My Fake Boyfriend:  Creating a guy on social media.  So it's NoFace Book?

Jerry and Marge Go Large:  Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening in a true story about a couple that keeps hitting the lottery.   And today's Power Ball numbers are...

Blowback:  A compilation of Joe Biden's press conferences?

Halftime:  A documentary about Jennifer Lopez.  By Jennifer Lopez.

Thor - Love and Thunder:  When do these comic book movies stop?

Doctor Strange - Multiverse of Madness:  Apparently no time soon.

Downton Era - A New Era:  It's been out a month.  When is the next movie, please?

The Bad Guys:  Some animation feature which I still don't care about.

Dinner last night:  Chicken cacciatore in Business Class JFK to LAX.

The Thirty-Six-Year-Old Sequel

 

I hope they didn't keep you waiting.  

Thirty-six years almost to the day, the sequel to "Top Gun" is finally here.  Oh, not that the producers didn't try for sooner.  Allegedly, the development of "Top Gun Maverick" started in 2010.  And then shooting actually started in 2019 but wasn't finished in time for the celebrated lockdown of life in 2020.  Still, even though I saw the first one in 1986, I did revisit it recently so I could remember who was who.   And figure out what the hell I was watching.

It turns out that it's not as hard as you think.  While some of the hit soundtrack from 1986 is sorely missing, this is pretty much a continuation of the same plot from decades ago.  And that storyline was pretty simplistic so you don't need more than a HS diploma to figure it all out.   That said, this is pretty damn enjoyable.   And, frankly, just the simple act of watching something on a big screen is fun enough in 2022.  To wit, "Top Gun Maverick" is a film that should never be viewed on your living room TV.   This needs to command the biggest screen possible and not one you can purchase at Best Buy.

It's all predictable and formulaic and that's okay.  Tom Cruise is back, albeit a few facial wrinkles.   Indeed, his aging provides the jumping off point of the film.  No longer a flyer, he is now relegated to teaching the next generation.   And you know that won't last long.

Val Kilmer is back briefly, despite the actor's throat cancer, and accommodations are made by giving him very little dialogue.  And Miles Teller plays the son of Cruise's buddy who crashed and burned back in 1986.  Even the son is now showing a few wrinkles.  Yep, it's been that long.

While it's all the same, "Top Gun Maverick" has a wistful quality because it shows a US military that is long gone.  All of the woke politics has hallowed out our perception of the militia and this turns the film almost into a piece of nostalgia, even though it's set in present day America.  And, in my viewpoint, that's a little sad.

But we will see what happens when the third "Top Gun" opens in 2058.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Beef sliders at the Iron Bar.

This Date in History - June 15

 

Happy birthday to Neil Patrick Harris.  A long way from the days of Doogie.

763 BC:  ASSYRIANS RECORD A SOLAR ECLIPSE THAT IS LATER USED TO FIX THE CHRONOLOGY OF MESOPOTAMIAN HISTORY.

I cut World History class that day.

1215:  KING JOHN OF ENGLAND PUTS HIS SEAL TO THE MAGNA CARTA.

Throw it a fish.

1246:  WITH THE DEATH OF FREDERICK II, DUKE OF AUSTRIA, THE BABENBURG DYNASTY ENDS IN AUSTRIA.

I cut class that day, too.

1300:  THE CITY OF BILBAO IS FOUNDED.

And that day.

1502:  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS LANDS ON THE ISLAND OF MARTINIQUE ON HIS FOURTH VOYAGE.

He never stayed home.   Much to the delight of Mrs. Columbus.

1520:  POPE LEO X THREATENS TO EXCOMMUNICATE MARTIN LUTHER.

So, Marty, start your own church, why don't you?

1648:  MARGARET JONES IS HANGED IN BOSTON FOR WITCHCRAFT IN THE FIRST SUCH EXECUTION FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY.

Hardware stores, stock up on rope.

1667:  THE FIRST HUMAN BLOOD TRANSFUSION IS ADMINISTERED BY DR. JEAN-BAPTISTE DENYS.

So there was also a non-human blood transfusion at some point?

1752:  BENJAMIN FRANKLIN PROVES THAT LIGHTNING IS ELECTRICITY.

Ow.

1775:  AMERICAN REVOLUTION:  GEORGE WASHINGTON IS APPOINTED COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE CONTINENTAL ARMY.

Like there was another choice?

1815:  THE DUCHESS OF RICHMOND'S BALL IS HELD IN BRUSSELS, "THE MOST FAMOUS BALL IN HISTORY."

Nah, Lucille was the most famous ball in history.

1836:  ARKANSAS IS ADMITTED AS THE 25TH US STATE.

If you insist.

1844:  CHARLES GOODYEAR RECEIVES A PATENT FOR VULCANIZATION, A PROCESS TO STRENGTHEN RUBBER.

Probably because of Mrs. Goodyear's recent pregnancy scare.

1864:  ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY IS ESTABLISHED.

Dig we must.

1878:  EADWEARD MUYBRIDGE TAKES A SERIES OF PHOTOGRAPHS TO PROVE THAT ALL FOUR FEET OF A HORSE LEAVE THE GROUND WHEN IT RUNS.

Talk about somebody with a lot of time on his hands.

1896:  THE DEADLIEST TSUNAMI IN JAPAN'S HISTORY KILLS MORE THAN 22,000 PEOPLE.   

Or the attendance at one Houston Astros game.

1916:  US PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON SINGS A BILL INCORPORATING THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA.

Good.  Now all those old ladies can cross the street.

1932:  POLITICIAN MARIO CUOMO IS BORN.

I still want to know about those mob ties which prevented him from running for President.

1934:  THE US GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS NATIONAL PARK IS FOUNDED.

Be careful with those matches.

1940:  WORLD WAR II - ALLIED TROOPS START TO EVACUATE FRANCE, FOLLOWING GERMANY'S TAKEOVER OF PARIS.

Everybody down to Casablanca....

1949:  BASEBALL STAR/MANAGER DUSTY BAKER IS BORN.

And soon the first bullpen will be ruined.

1954:  ACTOR JIM BELUSHI IS BORN.

Lucky he had a famous brother or he would be a checkout clerk at Ralph's.

1963:  ACTRESS HELEN HUNT IS BORN.

Mad about her.

1969:  THE METS TRADE FOR DONN CLENDENON.

Good deal.

1970:  CHARLES MANSON GOES ON TRIAL FOR THE SHARON TATE MURDERS.

As if there was any reasonable doubt.

1973:  ACTOR NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS BORN.

He should be doing nothing but Broadway shows these days.

1977:  THE METS TRADE TOM SEAVER.

Bad deal.

1983:  THE METS TRADE FOR KEITH HERNANDEZ.

Good deal.

1985:  REMBRANDT'S PAINTING DANAE IS ATTACKED BY A MAN (LATER JUDGED INSANE) WHO THROWS SULFURIC ACID ON THE CANVAS AND CUTS IT TWICE WITH A KNIFE.

Some people cut Art Appreciation class, too.

1993:  POLITICIAN JOHN CONNALLY DIES.

"What did you say, Mr. President?  Ouch?"

1994:  ISRAEL AND VATICAN CITY ESTABLISH FULL DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS.

Good.   Now you can have combined bingo and mah jongg nights.

2003:  ACTOR HUME CRONYN DIES.

Unlike his role in Cocoon, he didn't live forever.

2012:  NIK WALLENDA BECOMES THE FIRST PERSON TO SUCCESSFULLY TIGHTROPE WALK OVER NIAGARA FALLS.

Boy, this is high.

2014:  RADIO HOST CASEY KASEM DIES.

Did they finally bury him?

2019:  FILM DIRECTOR FRANCO ZEFFIRELLI DIES.

Morte.

Dinner last night:  Hot dog and French fries at Citi Field.