Frankly, Wednesday, I Don't Give a Damn

Here I am in Atlanta and it finally stopped burning.

---I guess the floods last week took care of that.

---Flying in yesterday, I saw lots of dirty rivers and streams. Sort of looked like what can come out of you after eating dinner at a lousy Mexican restaurant.

---As I look around, there is a reason why I don't do the South.

---If I hear any banjo music, I'm out of here.

---The first leg of my journey here was on a flight from LAX to Dallas. And I heard this exchange from the dizzy dame in front of me.

---Dizzy to Flight Attendant: "What's in the egg quesadilla?"

---Flight Attendant to Dizzy: "Egg."

---It is the Midwest, folks.

---Unlike Roman Polanski, I can apparently fly to all sorts of places in a single day without getting arrested.

---I saw a TV commercial that told kids all about the great nutritional value of Froot Loops. The daily requirement of fiber.

---And a two week's worth of sugar intake.

---It is America, folks.

---Obama is flying to Copenhagen for about four hours so he can ramrod in Chicago as the site of the 2016 Summer Olympics.

---Is he President of the United States or the Illinois Chamber of Commerce?

---Given how the Olympics can build up a city, why the hell are we wasting that on Chicago? I can think of another American gotham that could use the boost.

---Detroit, folks.

---But, then again, that's not in Urkel's backyard, is it?

---I am hoping that, in 2016, Obama will have plenty of time to see all the equestrian events he wants.

---Just so you know, it is possible to be funny while typing on a computer in the DFW Admiral's Club, which is where that last joke was fashioned.

---Praise God. Humor is portable.

---Inexplicable headline on the USA Today I saw in the Admiral's Club.

---"And the Oscar goes to The Hangover: Assessing its chances for the big prize."

---You're kidding me, right? I wanted to look twice to make sure it wasn't a copy of the Onion.

---The name of my cab driver in Atlanta was Perterus.

---Sounds like something out of Spartacus.

---"I am Perterus. No, I am Perterus."

---Trust me, Perterus was not from Italy. Unless there is a south side of Rome. Wink, wink.

---On the way to my hotel, we passed all the big attractions.

---The Jimmy Carter Center.

---Keep driving, Perterus.

---Andrew Young Drive.

---Keep moving, Perterus.

---The Martin Luther King Jr. Historical Archives.

---Stop only if there's an exhibit devoted to all his White mistresses.

Dinner last night: Grilled veggies and olive salad on the concierge level of the Westin Hotel in Buckhead.