I Live for This...and Wednesday

That's the Major League Baseball marketing slogan. And mine.

---After 162 games, a new season starts today and it's a clean slate for eight teams. I will be at Chavez Ravine in my seats for all the action.

---Game time: 6:37PM Pacific time. Thank you, TBS. They shoot up the space shuttle with less precision.

---With all the high definition technology and close-up camera shots that TBS will offer, I still think the clearest picture and coverage will be offered by Vin Scully on the radio.

---The Dodgers are given little chance to advance, but the games are played on grass, not paper.

---They way the Dodgers are being maligned, you would think they are being managed by John McCain.

---Maybe that means Cardinal manager Tony LaRussa will show up wearing a snazzy suit. And calling plays off a teleprompter.

---The good news is that neither Chicago team made the playoffs. How much can they lose in one week?

---Obama going to Copenhagen and not bringing back the Olympics is sort of like the Mets' last weekend in 2007 and 2008.

---Choke.

---Er, Mr. President, that digit you see from the IOC is the middle one.

---And rotate.

---It was laughable to hear Obama's people complaining that Rio resorted to dirty politics to bring the 2016 Olympics there.

---Just goes to prove. It takes one to screw one.

---Obama? Chicago? Dirty politics??? Nah.

---Vote early, vote often, and vote even if you're dead.

---So, here's a list of gags no longer funny when uttered by David Letterman.

---Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. Not funny.

---Sarah Palin and babies born out of wedlock. Not funny.

---Larry King and his young wives. Not funny.

---It's getting to the point that the only thing Letterman can now joke about is the price of postage stamps.

---As Dave tries to square things with his wife, I wonder just what kind of new car she will soon be driving.

---And you all thought Paul Shaffer was the creepy one.

---But, at least, Dave didn't sleep with his mother.

---Like MacKenzie Phillips, who's taking it one dad at a time.

---I spent yesterday at UCLA Hospital. My writing partner needed some assistance as he underwent hand surgery.

---You get a great snapshot of life's bountiful parade when you sit in a hospital waiting room.

---One guy was about 300 pounds and kept shoveling in licorice for about an hour.

---He was waiting for a patient yesterday.

---Today he's probably waiting for a gurney.

---An elderly Chinese couple kept arguing with one another in their native tongue. It sounded like Sunday night at the kitchen of Panda Express.

---What's the Chinese translation for "public option?"

---Are all Indians raised from birth to handle anesthetics?

---I didn't see one person there yesterday without health coverage.

---I did see two people with the waiting room without pants.

---Neither one of them was David Letterman.

---There's a link on this site to a very captivating blog written by former MTM writer Earl Pomerantz. He's headed for heart surgery later this month. And the story is up there for all to see. We all need to send some good wishes and prayers.

And Go Dodgers!

Dinner last night: Baked ham sandwich.