Best Performance by a Wednesday in a Comedy or a Musical

And the winner is....me.

---The Golden Globes are always the best for bringing out the worst in Hollywood.

---For instance, who, in their right mind, would pick Ricky Gervais as the host? I never get this guy ever.

---Gervais is like the annoying kid in high school who gets invited anywhere simply he's the only one with a driver's license.

---His one-liners Sunday night were like the 1130AM mass at Good Shepherd Catholic Church two blocks away.

---Speaking of which, is it me or does James Cameron look more and more like an Irish priest every day?

---I loved the way Cameron thanked his wife for years of support.

---I guess the first four wives did nothing for him. Including one who was actually in the audience that night. Kathryn Bigelow, director of "The Hurt Locker."

---The Golden Globes are selected by about ninety foreign correspondents who barely speak English.

---And this is how Robert Downey Jr. wins something for "Sherlock Holmes."

Looking at the now zaftig Mrs. Tom Hanks, I can see that the happy couple is now doing the In N'Out Burger drive-through window as a team.

---Everybody who is anybody shows up at the Golden Globes. And they all fight to be included in those annoying cut-away shots.

---One unfortunate cut-away gave us all a good look of that lummox Pierce Brosnan smacking his lips when Kate Hudson came out as a presenter.

---Go home to your fat wife, Pig.

---And maybe you should give some thought to why your wife is using her pie hole as, well, a pie hole.

---Thank God for the Haitian earthquake. Now these stars have a reason to wear all new ribbons to these award ceremonies.

---These goofballs namedropped Haiti so much that I thought Harvey Weinstein had produced the quake.

---Each one blathered on and on about Haiti. None of them had given this country a second thought a week ago.

---Here's a joke I wish I had heard at the Globes: "Tonight, the Golden Globes are being seen in over seventy countries across the world. And that includes the country of Haiti."

---"Provided you were one of the lucky ones who got to loot an appliance store for a new 50 inch high definition television."

---That line can be easily adapted for the SAG Awards or the Oscars. It's yours for a buck. Interested? Call me.

---This year, as always, there were two young starlets on the stage to assist. They are each called "Miss Golden Globes."

---If you write the next joke, I'll send you a dollar.

---The rainy season has begun in earnest for Los Angeles. We officially are on storm watch this week.

---Which means 80-year-olds all over the city are clogging supermarket lines for that last Entenmann's Crumb Coffee Cake.

---People again are panicking about their homes being destroyed by mudslides.

---If you're so worried about that, why the hell did you buy a house on a hill in the first place?

---A home propped up on a stick.

---It's not like mud was invented in the last decade.

---I've personally being throwing it all my life.

---A perfect storm for LA motorists? An Asian girl driving through a downpour.

---We even lost power for about ten hours on Monday. Which will explains, my dear readers, the Tuesday post on Teddy Roosevelt.

---Folks, that was my emergency blog entry. I always keep one handy. Like a flashlight and a few bottles of water.

---"American Idol" without Simon? That would be like tuning into "I Love Lucy" just to see what Mrs. Trumbull is up to.

---Last night, I actually had a reader tap into this blog from Bangalore in India.

---Probably somebody from Dell checking in to see what I'm doing with my computer.

---I loved the fight over the Massachusetts Senate seat.

---Obama ran up there so fast it was like the episode where Beaver Cleaver had to fix the garage window before his parents came home.

---I know nothing about this Scott Brown guy, but he's getting a Christmas card from me this year.

---They keep calling it "the Kennedy seat."

---Frankly, who'd want to sit in it? After all, the springs must be shot by now.

---And who knows how many times that piece of crap passed gas into the seat cushion?

---"Len, you're speaking ill of the dead."

---You betcha!

---I have a rhetorical question for this cyber room. How come when you elect a President with a 52% margin, it's called a mandate? And when almost 60% of the country is against the healthcare bill, it counts for nothing?

---Roll that one around, folks.

Dinner last night: Chopped beef steak with rice and salad.