1340: KING EDWARD III OF ENGLAND IS DECLARED KING OF FRANCE.
That's what he gets for swimming the Channel.
1500: VICENTE YANEZ PINZON BECOMES THE FIRST EUROPEAN TO SET FOOT ON BRAZIL.
On purpose?
1531: LISBON, PORTUGAL IS HIT BY A AN EARTHQUAKE AND THOUSANDS DIE.
In the days before television, how would George Clooney raise money for this?
1564: THE COUNCIL OF TRENT ISSUES ITS CONCLUSIONS IN THE TRIDENTIUM, ESTABLISHING A DISTINCTION BETWEEN ROMAN CATHOLICISM AND PROTESTANTISM.
And also changing the world of sugarless gum for all mankind.
1589: JOB IS ELECTED AS PATRIARCH OF MOSCOW AND ALL RUSSIA.
If this is the same guy from the Bible, he's really, really, really old. Really, really, really, really, really old.
1700: THE MAGNITUDE 9 CASCADIA EARTHQUAKE TAKES PLACE OFF THE WEST COAST OF NORTH AMERICA.
Obviously an earth-shaking day in history.
1736: STANISLAUS I OF POLAND ABDICATES HIS THRONE.
You can't fool me. There ain't no Stanislaus.
1808: THE RUM REBELLION IS HELD. THIS IS THE ONLY SUCCESSFUL (ALBEIT SHORT-LIVED) ARMED TAKEOVER OF THE GOVERNMENT IN AUSTRALIA.
Now that's something worth fighting for.
1837: MICHIGAN IS ADMITTED AS THE 26TH US STATE.
And our unemployment percentages haven't been the same since.
1861: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, THE STATE OF LOUISIANA SECEDES FROM THE UNION.
Well, that was one way to get rid of those assholes running New Orleans.
1880: GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR IS BORN.
When he died in 1964, he said "his boss passed away." So, for years, I thought MacArthur looked like Mr. Dithers.
1892: ACTRESS ZARA CULLY IS BORN.
Mother Jefferson!!!!
1893: BASEBALL INVENTOR ABNER DOUBLEDAY DIES.
Three outs.
1905: THE CULLINAN DIAMOND IS FOUND AT THE PREMIER MINE NEAR PRETORIA IN SOUTH AFRICA.
Hey, Cullinan Man!
1905: ACTOR CHARLES LANE IS BORN.
You've seen the face. This guy did a guest shot on every television sitcom ever produced. And he lasted till he was 102. That's a lot of residual checks.
1905: SINGER MARIA VON TRAPP IS BORN.
The hills are officially alive.
1923: ACTRESS ANNE JEFFREYS IS BORN.
Marian Kirby from the "Topper" TV show. And the only women ever to look good with her hair in a bun.
1924: ST. PETERSBURG IS RENAMED LENINGRAD.
Not the one which was the winter home of the New York Mets. In case you're wondering.
1930: THE INDIAN NATIONAL CONGRESS DECLARES JANUARY 26 AS INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR POORNA SWARAJ.
I have no idea what this means or why I included it, but I just got a call from a phone solicitor and it was on my mind.
1932: INDUSTRIALIST WILLIAM WRIGLEY DIES.
Life, like the flavor in gum, doesn't last forever.
1950: THE CONSTITUTION OF INDIA COMES INTO FORCE, FORMING A REPUBLIC. RAJENDRA PRASAD IS SWORN IN AS ITS FIRST PRESIDENT OF INDIA.
And still thinking about it....
1955: ROCKER EDDIE VAN HALEN IS BORN.
Which means he's an Aquarian. Just like me. And he used to sleep with Valerie Bertinelli. Just like me. Well, kind of.
1961: PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY APPOINTS JANET G. TRAVELL TO BE HIS PHYSICIAN. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A WOMAN HOLDS THIS APPOINTMENT.
Well, it figures. I bet he loved to turn his head and cough.
1962: MOBSTER LUCKY LUCIANO DIES.
The name is no longer working.
1965: HINDI BECOMES THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF INDIA.
What's India's freakin' fascination with the date of January 26?
1980: ISRAEL AND EGYPT ESTABLISH DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS.
Yeah, that worked out real well.
1979: POLITICAN NELSON ROCKEFELLER DIES.
While schtupping his girlfriend. He wasn't feeling Happy that day.
1992: ACTOR JOSE FERRER DIES.
Mr. Rosemary Clooney to you.
1997: ASTROLOGER JEANE DIXON DIES.
I bet we finally caught her by surprise.
1998: US PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON DENIES HAVING HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH FORMER INTERN MONICA LEWINSKY.
We know better now, don't we?
2007: HOCKEY PLAYER GUMP WORSLEY DIES.
Anybody with the first name of "Gump" deserves a mention.
Dinner last night: Beef tacos.
1 comment:
Longevity Award for Mr. Lane. Runner-up: Mickey Rooney.
Will never forget years ago when you informed me that Charles Lane was still alive. Amazing.
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