Emmy Award-winning veteran talk-show host Larry King has announced that he will play a series of one-night-only engagements with Larry King: Standing Up beginning April 14 in Torrington, CT.
King, whose popular television talk show "Larry King Live" ended its 25-year run in December, will share his own personal stories with American audiences in the new tour that is produced by Base Entertainment and Karl Engemann. Jim Millan will direct.
According to presenters, "Starting with his life growing up as a street-smart kid in Brooklyn to tales from his storied career as the greatest interviewer of all time, Larry King’s style and wit will give audiences an evening to remember. Audiences will also have the extraordinary opportunity to ask their own questions of the broadcast veteran (and now stand up comedian!) in a Q&A with Larry King at each performance."
Where do I start?
Okay, so America's respite is over. Larry King is back. Like whooping couch and tuberculosis.
First of all, I love the title. "Larry King: Standing Up." The way I see him moving slowly around Dodger Stadium, the title suggests to me this will be a touring company that stars the healing powers of Lourdes. Will this be followed by "Larry King: Sitting Down?" Or maybe "Larry King: Turning His Head and Coughing?"
The press release dubs him the "greatest interviewer of all time."
Uh huh.
Let me raise my hand with several exceptions.
Johnny Carson.
Jack Paar.
Dick Cavett.
Mike Wallace.
Edward R. Murrow.
Dinah Shore. Well, okay, maybe she wasn't better, but she could also whip up a steak fajita in front of a live studio audience. That has to count for something.
It's clear to me that the publicist here has been a little overzealous. And apparently hasn't seen a single moment of any of Larry King's work. People filing for unemployment insurance get more probing questions than Larry has ever delivered.
Trust be told, I am tempted to go to one of his performances. I'm intrigued by the possibility of a question and answer session with Larry. Heck, I'm pooling my list of queries already.
"Mr. King, what do you say to the allegations that CCN crew members hated to work on your show because you are so flatulent and the studio would smell like raw sewage?"
"Mr. King, of the nine or so women dumb enough to marry you, which one was your favorite?"
"Hey, Larry, big fan here. We met years ago during your radio show. Don't remember? I can understand why. You spent every commercial break having phone sex with your then-wife. Just what was your hand doing under that desk? Heh, Larry?"
"How come, on the night after your current wife allegedly tried to commit suicide, you and your son were sitting behind home plate at Dodger Stadium, sucking down hot dogs?"
"Hi, Mr. King, I'm a big fan of Sandy Koufax. Why do you continually talk about having this lifelong friendship with him when he has repeatedly denied it?"
"How does it feel to be almost eighty or ninety years older than your children?"
"Mr. King, can I have your autograph, please? You didn't bring a head shot? No worries. You can sign this photo for me."
Dinner last night: Chicken burrito.
1 comment:
The mug shots are like x-rays of King's soul (assuming he has one). What a creep, and he manages to look creepy even at Dodger Stadium, a very cheerful, uncreepy place.
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