By the way, note closely the stage show description. I knew that Radio City Music Hall regularly mounted Christmas and Easter stage shows. But this one, with a portion devoted to Kol Nidre, is apparently their official "Yom Kippur" extravaganza.
Ah, those were the days. Meanwhile, it's now 2013 and smart movie goers are awaiting for the usual autumn onslaught of films with a brain. Of course, you have to pick through a lot of weeds to find one single flower. You know the drill, kids. I'll sort through the film pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my knee-jerk gut reaction to what's littering our multiplexes this week.
Well, there's always TCM.
Planes: Disney remakes Cars except in the sky. Remember when this great studio and animator used to have imagination?
Riddick: Aliens and Vin Diesel. Four words that will keep me home on any day.
We're The Millers: The trailer had the single good gag. It ran for three minutes. Meanwhile, the movie is one hour and fifty minutes long.
The World's End: Ever wonder why super-liberal Hollywood is so obsessed with the apocalypse and the end of civilization as we know it?
You're Next: That's okay. You can skip me.
Lee Daniels' The Butler: Reviewed here recently. One of the worst movies of 2013. Pure garbage packaged to look like caviar. With a laughingly-horrible performance by Oprah.
Kick Ass 2: Now this is a movie I wish Oprah was in.
Insidious: Chapter 2: And, given the title, Oprah might be in this, too.
Blue Jasmine: Woody Allen's latest and one of three movies you needed to see this past summer.
In A World: This one should have been on your list. And...
The Way, Way Back: ...this one, too.
Austenland: Keri Russell overdoses on author Jane Austen. She must have a book report due.
Thanks for Sharing: New Yorkers comically struggle with sex addiction. Gee, why did I ever move? Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow co-stars and I saw her at the Dodger game last week. Not like that's a reason to see the movie or anything.
Rush: Ron Howard's latest on legendary race car driver James Hunt. The trailer was impressive and I've been following the movie's production on Ron's Twitter account. It's on my list.
Prisoners: Two little girls disappear on Thanksgiving and the parents take the search into their own hands. Maybe the kids just don't like turnips.
Enough Said: It looks like a cheesy romantic comedy, but it's James Gandolfini's last work and I will see it for that reason alone.
Touchy Feely: A comedy about massage therapy. Yeah, it's not that funny when my trainer works on my IT band.
One Direction - This is Us: A documentary about the musical group One Direction And, to demonstrate just how out of it I am....WHO??
The Muslims are Coming: This drama must be set in the past. Trust me. They're here.
Salinger: A documentary about somebody chasing down the famed author JD Salinger. Reminds me of the joke I made back in the eleventh grade. "Catcher in the Rye tells the story of Yogi Berra's visit to the local deli."
Percy Jackson - Sea of Monsters: Memory tells me there were other Percy Jackson movies mentioned on these weekend guides in the past. Yeah, I didn't see them either.
Things Never Said: A Los Angeles poet stuck in a dangerous marriage escapes to New York. Wait till they find out that nothing rhymes there either.
Afternoon Delight: A bored LA housewife rents a room to a young stripper. Based on that logline, I went to see this one afternoon. Trust me, it was no delight.
Adore: Two mothers intermingle with their respective twenty-year-old sons. Hmmm, I'm tempted. But, then again, that was the way Afternoon Delight pulled me and that didn't work out so well.
Short Term 12: A 20-something supervising staff member of a foster care facility navigates the troubled waters of that world alongside her co-worker and longtime boyfriend. Stifling yawn, stifling yawn....oops, couldn't do it. YAWN.
Battle of the Year: A hip-hop music mogul and a basketball coach start a dance group. Now, seriously, does this sound like a movie I would go to??
The Colony: More end-of-civilization dribble with Laurence Fishburne, whose acting has sparked the end of civilization all by itself.
Jewtopia: A Gentile pretends to be Jewish to court a rabbi's daughter. Er, 1982 called. Streisand wants her script back.
The Family: A Mafia family hides in France. This could have the TV movie sequel "The Sopranos Go to Paris." Robert DeNiro is in it and that should surprise no one.
Elysium: Matt Damon goes into the future to fight probably the end-of-civilization.
Jayne Mansfield's Car: A family in 1969 Alabama goes through all sorts of angst and I have no idea what that has to do with either Jayne Mansfield or her car.
Haute Cuisine: A renowned French chef works for the president of the country. Now if it was Paula Deen in the lead role, I might go.
Newlyweeds: A young New York couple bonds over some marijuana. Gee, I looked at the one word movie title and I already figured that out.
Closed Circuit: A high-profile terrorism case unexpectedly binds together two ex-lovers on the defense team - testing the limits of their loyalties and placing their lives in jeopardy. Because if it isn't about the end of civilization, it's all about terrorism.
Fire in the Blood: A documentary about how drug companies are blocking access of HIV medicine to Africa. I have nothing to say, except that I likely will not see this. Sorry. I've got my own problems.
Drinking Buddies: Two chums at a Chicago brewery deal with life and relationship problems. Sounds completely dreary....oh, wait, Anna Kendrick is in it. Shit, I know what that means. Blog review pending.
The Spectacular Now: Two teenagers bond over alcohol. Not the rubbing kind. I saw this and, while well made, it was completely unsettling. I can be that way at home. Without the liquor.
The Grandmaster: Paging Bruce Lee. Paging Jackie Chan. Paging anybody who can kick his leg up to somebody's neck.
C.O.G.: A cocky young man travels to Oregon to work on an apple farm. Out of his element, he finds his lifestyle and notions being picked apart by everyone who crosses his path. From a David Sedaris story, so this might have a change at being interesting.
Blue Caprice: An abandoned boy is lured to America and drawn into the shadow of a dangerous father figure. Inspired by the real life events that led to the 2002 Beltway sniper attacks. Sounds oddly compelling. But, then again, so did Afternoon Delight.
GMO OMG: A documentary about genetically engineered food. So I'm guessing we'll learn that Slim Jims aren't good for you.
Generation Iron: A documentary about professional body builders. Arnold has a question. Didn't I make this movie forty years ago???
Money for Nothing - Inside the Federal Reserve: Strictly for those trying to get extra credit in their Economics class.
A Single Shot: The tragic death of a beautiful young girl starts a tense and atmospheric game of cat and mouse between hunter John Moon and the hardened backwater criminals out for his blood. Burt Reynolds and Jon Voight have a question. Didn't we make this money forty years ago???
Plus One: College kids have a wild weekend. Plus one, but minus me.
Instructions Not Included: A man who has made a new life for himself and the daughter left on his doorstep 6 years ago finds his family threatened when the birth mother resurfaces, This is from Spain if that makes a difference to anybody. It doesn't for me. Meh.
Harry Dean Stanton - Partly Fiction: A documentary about...wait for it...actor Harry Dean Stanton.
Sample This: A documentary that reveals how a forgotten record by the Incredible Bongo Band helped cement the foundation of hip hop when DJ Herc extended its percussion by playing them back to back, creating an anthem on the streets of the Bronx. Gee, where's that playing? I need to avoid the five mile radius.
A Strange Brand of Happy: An aimless bachelor loses his job and finds himself chasing the same girl as his manipulative ex-boss. Co-starring Shirley Jones and real-life husband Marty Ingels. And, frankly, I'd like to see a documentary about those two instead.
Dinner last night: Dried cappacollo and provolone panini.
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