Happy birthday, Baby Jesus. Except this really happened sometime in March. But, a lot of other nifty stuff did happen on this date. Wait till you see...
333: EMPEROR CONSTANTINE THE GREAT ELEVATES HIS SON TO THE RANK OF CAESAR.
The first of many power grabs on this Christimas day.
350: VETRANIO IS FORCED TO ABDICATE HIS TITLE OF CAESAR TO LIVE AS A PRIVATE CITIZEN ON A STATE PENSION.
And who goes up must come down.
496: CLOVIS I, KING OF THE FRANKS, IS BAPTIZED INTO THE CATHOLIC FAITH.
Done with relish.
800: THE CORONATION OF CHARLEMAGNE AS HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR IN ROME.
They loved to tie up Christmas day with this nonsense.
1066: WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR, DUKE OF NORMANDY IS CROWNED KING OF ENGLAND IN LONDON.
This king garbage just does not stop.
1100: BALDWIN OF BOULOGNE IS CROWNED THE FIRST KING OF JERUSALEM.
Says he.
1130: COUNT ROGER II OF SICILY IS CROWNED THE FIRST KING OF SICILY.
And on and on and on....
1642: PHYSICIST ISAAC NEWTON IS BORN.
Not crowned, thank goodness.
1643: CHRISTMAS ISLAND FOUND AND NAMED BY CAPTAIN WILLIAM MYNORS OF THE EAST INDIA COMPANY.
He got lucky. Two weeks earlier and it could have been Hanukah Island.
1776: GEORGE WASHINGTON AND THE CONTINENTAL ARMY CROSS THE DELAWARE RIVER AT NIGHT TO ATTACK THE BRITISH AT TRENTON THE NEXT DAY.
Working on Christmas? That's time and a half.
1826: THE EGGNOG RIOT AT THE US MILITARY ACADEMY CONCLUDES.
When do they start throwing around the mince pie??
1868: US PRESIDENT ANDREW JOHNSON GRANTS UNCONDITIONAL PARDON TO ALL CIVIL WAR CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS.
A nice thing to do on the holiday. But no presents for them, please.
1870: BUSINESSWOMAN HELENA RUBINSTEIN IS BORN.
And last minute gifts of make-up bearing her name would be around on Christmas from this day forward.
1899: ACTOR HUMPHREY BOGART IS BORN.
Here's looking at you, kid.
1907: MUSICIAN CAB CALLOWAY IS BORN.
Hi-de-ho.
1918: EGYPTIAN POLITICIAN ANWAR SADAT IS BORN.
So it's not just a holiday for Christians....
1924: WRITER ROD SERLING IS BORN.
We enter a dimension of space, time....all that jazz.
1932: ACTRESS MABEL KING IS BORN.
That's what's happening.
1932: A MAGNITUDE 7.6 EARTHQUAKE IN CHINA KILLS 275 PEOPLE.
Hope there were 275 gift receipts.
1941: ADMIRAL CHESTER W. NIMITZ ARRIVES AT PEARL HARBOR TO ASSUME COMMAND OF THE US PACIFIC FLEET.
So, in a way, this was a coronation, too.
1945: ACTOR GARY SANDY IS BORN.
WKRP in Cincinnati!!
1946: ACTOR W.C. FIELDS DIES.
Whipsnade, Whipsnade.
1947: THE CONSTITUTION OF THE REPUBLIC OF CHINA GOES INTO EFFECT.
So that 1932 earthquake didn't destroy them altogether.
1949: ACTRESS SISSY SPACEK IS BORN.
Also known as Sissy Space Chick.
1950: THE STONE OF SCONE, THE TRADITIONAL CORONATION STONE OF BRITISH MONARCHS, IS TAKEN FROM WESTMINSTER ABBEY BY SCOTTISH STUDENTS.
That's going to be one long detention period.
1958: BASEBALL STAR RICKEY HENDERSON IS BORN.
Noteworthy on Christmas day only because Jesus wasn't a great base stealer.
1974: MARSHALL FIELDS DRIVES A VEHICLE THROUGH THE GATES OF THE WHITE HOUSE.
Okay, just being clear, this has nothing to do with the Chicago department store??
1977: PRIME MINISTER OF ISRAEL MENACHEM BEGIN MEETS IN EGYPT WITH PRESIDENT ANWAR SADAT.
Effectively ruining the latter's birthday.
1977: ACTOR CHARLIE CHAPLIN DIES.
The tramp has been silenced. Of course, understanding that he didn't talk much in his movies anyway.
1979: ACTRESS JOAN BLONDELL DIES.
She was a big deal in the movies about two centuries earlier.
1989: BASEBALL MANAGER BILLY MARTIN DIES.
In a car crash. Way, way, way, way too much holiday cheer.
1991: MIKHAIL GORBACHEV RESIGNS AS PRESIDENT OF THE SOVIET UNION.
All that wall demolition proved to be too much for him.
1995: SINGER DEAN MARTIN DIES.
That's a morte.
2006: SINGER JAMES BROWN DIES.
No longer feeling good.
2008: SINGER EARTHA KITT DIES.
Santa baby, how about a casket?
2009; UMAR FAROUK ABDULMUTUALLAB UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTS A TERRORIST ATTACK AGAINST THE US WHILE ON BOARD A FLIGHT TO DETROIT.
And he didn't even bother to pack clean underwear.
Dinner last night: Ribeye steak with sauteed green beans and mushrooms.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
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