307: JIN HUIDI, CHINESE EMPEROR OF THE JIN DYNASTY, IS POISONED AND SUCCEEDED BY HIS SON JIN HUAIDI.
All jin-ned up.
1297: FRANCOIS GRIMALDI, DISGUISED AS MONK, LEADS HIS MEN TO CAPTURE THE FORTRESS PROTECTING THE ROCK OF MONACO, ESTABLISHING HIS FAMILY AS THE RULERS OF MONACO.
We've seen the future and there is a Grace Kelly in it.
1455: THE ROMANUS PONTIFEX IS WRITTEN.
Immediately at #5 on Amazon.
1697: THE LAST EXECUTION FOR BLASPHEMY IN BRITAIN.
It wouldn't have been if I lived there.
1790: GEORGE WASHINGTON DELIVERS THE FIRST STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS IN NEW YORK, NEW YORK.
The first ever fact checking event.
1806: CAPE COLONY BECOMES A BRITISH COLONY.
No mention of Italian Swiss Colony.
1835: THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL DEBT IS ZERO FOR THE ONLY TIME.
I'll say.
1867: AFRICAN AMERICAN MEN ARE GRANTED THE RIGHT TO VOTE IN WASHINGTON, DC.
Yet, there are countries in their native continent where you still can't.
1877: CRAZY HORSE AND HIS WARRIORS FIGHT THEIR LAST BATTLE AGAINST THE US CAVALRY IN MONTANA.
Crazy Horse!! His prices are insane!!!!
1904: THE BLACKSTONE LIBRARY IS DEDICATED, MARKING THE BEGINNING OF THE CHICAGO PUBLIC LIBRARY SYSTEM.
As if anybody there can read.
1912: ACTOR JOSE FERRER IS BORN.
Mr. Rosemary Clooney to you.
1918: PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON ANNOUNCES HIS FOURTEEN POINTS FOR THE AFTERMATH OF WORLD WAR I.
When he couldn't get that passed, he went for the field goal.
1923: ACTOR LARRY STORCH IS BORN.
F Troop!!!
1926: TV STAR SOUPY SALES IS BORN.
Do the Mouse.
1933: JOURNALIST CHARLES OSGOOD IS BORN.
About fifty years ago, he had some integrity. Now he's just one big commercial voiceover.
1935: SINGER ELVIS PRESLEY IS BORN.
Pass the fried bologna.
1937: SINGER SHIRLEY BASSEY IS BORN.
Gold-fing-ah!
1938: TV HOST BOB EUBANKS IS BORN.
And now for the big thirty point bonus question.
1940: DURING WORLD WAR II, BRITAIN INTRODUCES FOOD RATIONING.
I know people who lived through this. It sucked.
1942: ACTRESS YVETTE MIMIEUX IS BORN.
With her looks, she always knew where the boys were.
1961: IN FRANCE, A REFERENDUM SUPPORTS CHARLES DE GAULLE'S POLICIES IN ALGERIA.
Je ne care pas.
1963: DA VINCI'S MONA LISA IS EXHIBITED IN THE US FOR THE FIRST TIME AT WASHINGTON, DC.
Wait, I see a smile. No, it's not. Yes, it is.
1964: PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON DECLARES A WAR ON POVERTY IN THE US.
Spoiler alert: poverty wins.
1973: THE TRIAL OF SEVEN MEN ACCUSED OF ILLEGAL ENTRY INTO DEMOCRATIC PARTY HEADQUARTERS AT WATERGATE BEGINS.
Hey, Nixon, start counting the days.
1975: ELLA GRASSO BECOMES GOVERNOR OF CONNECTICUT, THE FIRST WOMAN TO SERVE AS A STATE GOVERNOR IN THE US.
Not counting Nelson Rockefeller who liked to dress like one.
1981: ACTOR MATTHEW BEARD DIES.
Stymie!!!
1981: A LOCAL FARMER IN FRANCE REPORTS A UFO SIGHTING, PERHAPS THE MOST COMPLETELY AND CAREFULLY DOCUMENTED SIGHTING OF ALL TIME.
Come on. If you're an alien, would you really visit a French farmer???
1990: ACTOR TERRY-THOMAS DIES.
Never had the teeth fixed.
1994: ACTOR PAT BUTTRAM DIES.
Mr. Haney on TV's "Green Acres."
1994: BASEBALL PITCHER HARVEY HADDIX DIES.
I always take Bayer Aspirin for a haddix.
2002: BUSINESSMAN DAVE THOMAS DIES.
Where's the corpse?
2002: PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH SIGNS INTO LAW THE NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT.
When do we get the "All Politicians Left Behind" act??
2004: RADIO HOST JOHN GAMBLING DIES.
No more rambling.
2007: ACTRESS YVONNE DE CARLO DIES.
Not surprised. Her skin always had this funny color.
2011: THE ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION OF ARIZONA CONGRESSWOMAN GABRIELLE GIFFORDS AND SEVERAL OTHERS.
Despite a major head wound, she managed to publish her memoirs six months later. Can you say "ghost writer?"
Dinner last night: Veal ravioli.
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