1279: A MONGOLIAN VICTORY AT THE BATTLE OF YAMEN ENDS THE SONG DYNASTY IN CHINA.
My kingdom for a Song.
1649: THE HOUSE OF COMMONS OF ENGLAND PASSES AN ACT ABOLISHING THE HOUSE OF LORDS, DECLARING IT "USELESS AND DANGEROUS TO THE PEOPLE OF ENGLAND."
Sounds like our own Supreme Court.
1812: THE CADIZ CORTES PROMULGATES THE SPANISH CONSTITUTION OF 1812.
I never promulgated...either junior or senior.
1848: WYATT EARP IS BORN.
Jeez, that makes Hugh O'Brien really, really old.
1861: THE FIRST TARANAKI WAR ENDS IN NEW ZEALAND.
Isn't this the new pitcher on the Yankees?
1865: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, THE BATTLE OF BENTONVILLE BEGINS. BY THE END, CONFEDERATE FORCES HAVE RETREATED.
If my history dates are correct, they're in the bottom of the ninth inning.
1891: SUPREME COURT JUSTICE EARL WARREN IS BORN.
Report coming.
1894: COMIC MOMS MABLEY IS BORN.
My grandmother loved her on the Merv Griffin Show.
1895: AUGUSTE AND LOUIS LUMIERE RECORD THEIR FIRST FOOTAGE USING THEIR NEWLY PATENTED CINEMATOGRAPH.
Raisinets, please.
1906: NAZI ADOLF EICHMANN IS BORN.
Makes you wonder if anybody in Germany names their kid "Adolf" anymore.
1914: ACTOR FRED CLARK IS BORN.
One of several Harry Mortons on the Burns and Allen Show.
1918: THE US CONGRESS ESTABLISHES TIME ZONES AND APPROVES DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME.
Before this, was it really the same time in NY and LA???
1921: ITALIAN FASCISTS SHOOT FROM THE PARENZANA TRAIN AT A GROUP OF CHILDREN.
Killing kids??? Now that's real terrorism.
1931: GAMBLING IS LEGALIZED IN NEVADA.
Vegas, baby!
1933: ACTRESS PHYLLIS NEWMAN IS BORN.
She was married to songwriter Adolph Green, so you know Miss Newman didn't really judge people by their looks.
1941: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE TUSKEGEE AIRMEN, THE FIRST ALL-BLACK UNIT OF THE ARMY AIR CORPS, IS ACTIVATED.
Screenplay pending.
1943: FRANK NITTI, THE CHICAGO OUTFIT BOSS AFTER AL CAPONE, COMMITS SUICIDE.
Gee, was it something we said?
1944: ASSASSIN SIRHAN SIRHAN IS BORN.
Rot in jail, you miserable piece of Arab shit.
1945: OFF THE COAST OF JAPAN, A DIVE BOMBER HITS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS FRANKLIN, KILLING 724 OF HER CREW.
Enjoy that, you rotten Japs. It will be time to say sayonara soon.
1945: ADOLF HITLER ISSUES HIS NERO DECREE ORDERING ALL INDUSTRIES, MILITARY INSTALLATIONS, AND COMMUNICATION FACILITIES IN GERMANY TO BE DESTROYED.
Hmmm, something to hide?
1947: ACTRESS GLENN CLOSE IS BORN.
As a result of a fatal contraction. I don't know what that joke means, but I have nothing else to write.
1954: JOEY GIARDELLO KNOCKS OUT WILLIE TORY IN ROUND SEVEN AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN IN THE FIRST TELEVISED BOXING FIGHT SHOWN IN COLOR.
The Wonderful World of Cuts Above Your Forehead.
1954: WILLIE MOSCONI SETS A WORLD RECORD BY RUNNING 526 CONSECUTIVE BALLS WITHOUT A MISS DURING A POOL EXHIBITION.
Showoff.
1958: THE MONARCH UNDERWEAR COMPANY FIRE LEAVES 24 DEAD.
Life is all too briefs.
1962: MUSICIAN BOB DYLAN RELEASES HIS FIRST RECORD ALBUM.
I have heard from people who have dealt with him that 1962 might also be the last time he took a bath.
1966: TEXAS WESTERN BECOMES THE FIRST COLLEGE BASKETBALL TEAM TO WIN THE FINAL FOUR WITH AN ALL-BLACK STARTING LINEUP.
That hadn't happened yet??
1974: ACTOR EDWARD PLATT DIES.
Sorry about that, Chief.
1979: C-SPAN BEGINS BROADCASTING.
Purely for those who needs naps during the afternoon.
1987: TELEVANGELIST JIM BAKKER RESIGNS THE PTL CLUB DUE TO A SEX SCANDAL AND HANDS OVER CONTROL TO JERRY FALWELL.
As if that's an improvement.
2005: AUTO DESIGNER JOHN DELOREAN DIES.
Virtually no Blue Book value now.
2007: ACTOR CALVERT DEFOREST DIES.
Better known as Larry "Bud" Melman.
2008: AUTHOR ARTHUR C. CLARKE DIES.
2008: An Eternal Odyssey.
2008: ACTOR PAUL SCOFIELD DIES.
A Man for All Seasons, Except Late Winter 2008.
2011: AFTER THE FAILURE OF MUAMMAR GADDAFI'S FORCES TO TAKE BENGHAZI, THE FRENCH AIR FORCE LAUNCHES OPERATION HARMATTAN.
It's amazing that people still don't know what happened to our people there in 2012.
2013: PORN ACTOR HARRY REEMS DIES.
So when is the erection....of his monument?
Dinner last night: Leftover Chinese beef and vegetables.
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