This Date in History - September 19

Happy birthday to The Man from U.N.C.L.E.  When you were on TV, girls in my class loved you.  And probably so did some of the more questionable boys.

335:  FLAVIUS DALMATIUS IS RAISED TO THE RANK OF CAESAR BY HIS UNCLE CONSTANTINE I.

If Flavius gets himself a big family, they might be 101 Dalmatius.

1676:  JAMESTOWN IS BURNED TO THE GROUND BY THE FORCES OF NATHANIEL BACON DURING HIS REBELLION.

Usually it's the Bacon that gets burned.

1692:  GILES COREY IS PRESSED TO DEATH AFTER REFUSED TO PLEAD IN THE SALEM WITHC TRAILS.

His family was told by the dry cleaner that he'd be ready after 5PM.

1778:  THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS PASSES THE FIRST BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES.

Back in the day when Congress actually did pass budgets.

1796:  GEORGE WASHINGTON'S FAREWELL ADDRESS IS PRINTED ACROSS AMERICA AS AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PUBLIC.

Today, it would be simply e-mailed as a .PDF.

1846:  TWO FRENCH SHEPHERD CHILDREN EXPERIENCE A MARIAN APPARITION ON A MOUNTAINTOP IN FRANCE, NOW KNOWN AS OUR LADY OF LA SALETTE.

There was a kid in my neighborhood who claimed to have a divine vision.  He was a lunatic.

1862:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION TROOPS UNDER GENERAL ROSENCRANS DEFEAT A CONFEDERATE FORCE COMMANDED BY GENERAL STERLING PRICE.

Now if Rosencrans had beat a general named Guildenstern.....

1870:  THE ITALIAN ARMY LAY SIEGE TO ROME, ENTERING THE CITY THE NEXT DAY, AFTER WHICH THE POPE DESCRIBED HIMSELF AS A PRISONER IN THE VATICAN.

There are probably less swanky places to be cooped up.

1881: US PRESIDENT JAMES A. GARFIELD DIES OF WOUNDS SUFFERED IN A JULY 2 SHOOTING.

Wow, that's over two months with a sitting President in a dire health situation.  I guess Alexander Haig was in charge.

1905:  WATERGATE SPECIAL PROSECUTOR LEON JAWORSKI IS BORN.

A man who never got a Christmas card from Richard Nixon.

1913:  ACTRESS FRANCES FARMER IS BORN.

Not to be confused with candymaker Fanny Farmer.

1926:  TV HOST JAMES LIPTON IS BORN.

During the birthing process, I wonder what his mother's favorite curse word was.

1926:  BASEBALL STAR DUKE SNYDER IS BORN.

If this had not happened, Terry Cashman would have had a hole at the end of the line..."Willie, Mickey, and.....and....and...."

1928:  ACTOR ADAM WEST IS BORN.

Actor?   Now that's a giggle for the morning.  Alas, now he's a dead one.

1933:  ACTOR DAVID MCCALLUM IS BORN.

Illya Kuryakin.  And I spelled that without looking it up, gang.

1934:  BRUNO HAUPTMANN IS ARRESTED FOR THE KIDNAP AND MURDER OF CHARLES LINDBURGH JR..

Dumkopf.

1941:  SINGER MAMA CASS ELLIOT IS BORN.

Who ordered the ham on rye?

1942:  SINGER FREDA PAYNE IS BORN.

Now that she's here, all we've got is a band of gold....

1942:  MAGAZINE PUBLISHER CONDE NAST DIES.

Who the hell names their kid Conde???

1944:  ARMISTICE BETWEEN FINLAND AND SOVIET UNION IS SIGNED.

How can you not get along with Finland???

1945:  LORD HAW HAW IS SENTENCED TO DEATH IN LONDON.

He?  Haw.

1946:  THE FIRST CANNES FILM FESTIVAL IS HELD.

Ladies, please remove your bikini tops.

1949:  MODEL TWIGGY IS BORN.

And please put on your bikini top.

1952:  THE UNITED STATES BARS CHARLIE CHAPLIN FROM RE-ENTERING THE COUNTRY AFTER A TRIP TO ENGLAND.

Is this any way to treat a comic genius???

1959:  NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV IS BARRED FROM VISITING DISNEYLAND DUE TO SECURITY CONCERNS.

No Fast Pass for him.

1961:  BETTY AND BARNEY HILL CLAIM THAT THEY SAW A MYSTERIOUS CRAFT IN THE SKY AND THAT IT TRIED TO ABDUCT THEM.

If you were a Martian, would you want to take home these two peckerwoods?

1972:  A PARCEL BOMB SENT TO ISRAELI EMBASSY IN LONDON KILLS ONE DIPLOMAT.

Do you need somebody to sign for this?

1978:  THE SOLOMON ISLANDS JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.

They apparently scraped up enough money for the dues.

1981:  SIMON AND GARFUNKEL REUNITE FOR A FREE CONCERT IN NEW YORK'S CENTRAL PARK.

I wasn't there, but I remember the day.  It was cold!

1985:  A STRONG EARTHQUAKE KILLS THOUSANDS AND DESTROYS ABOUT 400 BUILDINGS IN MEXICO CITY.

400 Mexican buildings?  That's an awful lot of paper mache.

1990:  CHOREOGRAPHER HERMES PAN DIES.

He doesn't pan out.

1995:  POPCORN MAKER ORVILLE REDENBACHER DIES.

It's been a long blog entry.  You write your own joke here.

2003:  SINGER SLIM DUSTY DIES.

Ashes to ashes, dusty to dusty.....

2006:  ACTRESS ELIZABETH ALLEN DIES.

I mention her here only because she was in one of my favorite TV shows, "Bracken's World."

2009:  PIANIST ARTHUR FERRANTE DIES.

Teicher?  Teicher?  Teicher?

2015:  AUTHOR JACKIE COLLINS DIES.

Author??  Hahahahahahahahaha.

Dinner last night: Hot dog at the Dodger game.