484 BC: DEDICATION OF THE TEMPLE OF CASTOR AND POLLUX IN ANCIENT ROME.
Obviously, it was not televised.
756: EMPEROR XUANZONG OF TANG IS ORDERED BY HIS IMPERIAL GUARDS TO EXECUTE YANG GUOZHONG BY FORCING HIM TO COMMIT SUICIDE OR FACE A MUTINY. HE PERMITS HIS CONSORT YANG GUIFEI TO BE STRANGLED BY HIS CHIEF EUNUCH.
All this craziness explains to me why you still hear fighting in the kitchen whenever you call for Chinese take-out.
1149: THE RECONSTRUCTED CHURCH OF THE HOLY SEPULCHRE IS CONSECRATED IN JERUSALEM.
Nor was there radio coverage for this event.
1207: KING JOHN OF ENGLAND EXPELS CANTERBURY MONKS FOR SUPPORTING ARCHBISHOP STEPHEN LANGTON.
I bet those monks had some tales.
1381: JOHN BALL, A LEADER IN THE PEASANTS' REVOLT, IS HANGED, DRAWN, AND QUARTERED IN THE PRESENCE OF KING RICHARD II OF ENGLAND.
That had to hurt.
1685: JAMES SCOTT, 1ST DUKE OF MONMOUTH, IS EXECUTED IN ENGLAND.
No word on the whereabouts of the Earl of Pimlico. Come on, you knew this would be a horse racing joke.
1799: THE ROSETTA STONE IS FOUND IN THE EGYPTIAN VILLAGE OF ROSETTA.
Naturally.
1815: NAPOLEON BONAPARTE SURRENDERS ABOARD HMS BELLEROPHON.
Or was that Bell Telephone?
1823: A FIRE DESTROYS THE BASILICA OF SAINT PAUL OUTSIDE THE WALLS IN ROME, ITALY.
I hope they were insured with State Farm.
1834: THE SPANISH INQUISITION IS OFFICIALLY DISBANDED AFTER NEARLY 356 YEARS.
That's one long inquisition.
1838: RALPH WALDO EMERSON DELIVERS THE DIVINITY SCHOOL ADDRESS AT HARVARD DIVINITY SCHOOL, DISCOUNTING BIBLICAL MIRACLES AND DECLARING JESUS A GREAT MAN, BUT NOT GOD. THE PROTESTANT COMMUNITY REACTS WITH OUTRAGE.
What do you expect from a man whose middle name is Waldo?
1870: GEORGIA BECOMES THE LAST OF THE FORMER CONFEDERATE STATES TO BE READMITTED TO THE UNION.
I guess we had to.
1910: IN HIS BOOK CLINICAL PSYCHIATRY, EMIL KRAEPELIN GIVES A NAME TO ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, NAMING IT AFTER HIS COLLEAGUE ALOIS ALZHEIMER.
Lucky he remembered.
1916: IN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, WILLIAM BOEING AND GEORGE CONRAD WESTERVELT INCORPORATE PACIFIC AERO PRODUCTS, LATER NAMED BOEING.
Boeing, boeing, gone.
1922: THE JAPANESE COMMUNIST PARTY IS ESTABLISHED IN JAPAN.
We never hear about Red Japan.
1935: ACTOR ALEX KARRAS IS BORN.
Mongo like candy.
1935: ACTOR KEN KERCHEVAL IS BORN.
Cliff Barnes from TV's Dallas.
1946: SINGER LINDA RONSTADT IS BORN.
Hotter than blazes in the 70s, she now has Parkinson's.
1954: FIRST FLIGHT OF THE BOEING 367-80.
Apparently not boeing, boeing, gone.
1959: THE STEEL STRIKE OF 1959 BEGINS, LEADING TO SIGNIFICANT IMPORTATION OF FOREIGN STEEL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN US HISTORY.
Thinking of Superman as I type this.
1966: THE UNITED STATES AND SOUTH VIETNAM BEGIN OPERATION HASTINGS TO PUSH THE NORTH VIETNAMESE OUT OF THE DMZ.
That's DMZ, not TMZ.
1972: MODEL BETH OSTROSKY STERN IS BORN.
Howard likes them younger.
1979: US PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER GIVES HIS SO-CALLED MALAISE SPEECH, WHERE HE CHARACTERIZES THE GREATEST THREAT TO THE COUNTRY AS "THIS CRISIS IN THE GROWING DOUBT ABOUT THE MEANING OF OUR OWN LIVES AND IN THE LOSS OF A UNITY OF PURPOSE FOR OUR NATION" BUT IN WHICH HE NEVER USES THE WORD MALAISE.
Len says the greatest threat to our country is when we elects idiots like this guy.
1991: ACTOR BERT CONVY DIES.
Tattletale.
1997: IN MIAMI, SERIAL KILLER ANDREW CUNANAN GUNS DOWN GIANNI VERSACE OUTSIDE HIS HOME.
Wear this.
2002: "AMERICAN TALIBAN" JOHN WALKER LINDH PLEADS GUILTY TO SUPPLYING AID TO THE ENEMY AND TO POSSESSION OF EXPLOSIVES.
Kill, please.
2003: AOL TIME WARNER DISBANDS NETSCAPE. MOZILLA IS ESTABLISHED ON THE SAME DAY.
And we still can't avoid spam.
2006: TWITTER IS LAUNCHED.
#Idon'tgiveashit.
2012: ACTRESS CELESTE HOLM DIES.
All About Death.
2017: ACTOR MARTIN LANDAU DIES.
Mission Really Impossible Now.
Dinner last night: Italian salad.
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