1245: THOMAS, THE FIRST KNOWN BISHOP OF FINLAND, IS GRANTED RESIGNATION AFTER CONFESSING TO TORTURE AND FORGERY.
This is what half of the country hopes is in the future for Donald Trump.
1437: JAMES I OF SCOTLAND IS ASSASSINATED.
When mere resignation is just not enough.
1440: THE PRUSSIAN CONFEDERATION IS FORMED.
Yay, if you're a Prussian.
1613: MIKHAIL I IS UNANIMOUSLY ELECTED TSAR , BEGINNING THE ROMANOV DYNASTY OF IMPERIAL RUSSIA.
Yay, if you're Mikhail I.
1804: THE FIRST SELF-PROPELLING STEAM LOCOMOTIVE MAKES ITS FIRST OUTING IN WALES.
Come ride the little train that is rolling down the track at the junction....
1828: INITIAL ISSUE OF THE CHEROKEE PHOENIX IS THE FIRST PERIODICAL TO USE THE CHEROKEE SYLLABARY INVENTED BY SEQUOYAH.
Heap big deal.
1842: JOHN GREENOUGH IS GRANTED THE FIRST US PATENT FOR THE SEWING MACHINE.
Must have had a rip in his pants.
1848: KARL MARX AND FRIEDRICH ENGELS PUBLISH THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO.
As opposed to Chico Marx and Marty Ingels.
1874: THE OAKLAND DAILY TRIBUNE PUBLISHES ITS FIRST EDITION.
That's a newspaper for those of you who forgot.
1878: THE FIRST TELEPHONE DIRECTORY IS ISSUED IN CONNECTICUT.
That's how people used to find phone numbers for those of you who forgot.
1885: THE NEWLY COMPLETED WASHINGTON MONUMENT IS DEDICATED.
Commemorative paper weights to follow.
1918: THE LAST CAROLINA PARAKEET DIES IN CAPTIVITY AT THE CINCINNATI ZOO.
Parakeets don't live long. I know. I had one when I was a kid.
1925: THE NEW YORKER PUBLISHES ITS FIRST ISSUE.
And who was the first dentist to have it in the waiting room?
1925: FILM DIRECTOR SAM PECKINPAH IS BORN.
The Wild Bunch!
1927: AUTHOR ERMA BOMBECK IS BORN.
Some people loved her books. So there's that.
1933: SINGER NINA SIMONE IS BORN.
I saw a documentary about her and she was clearly nuts.
1934: ACTRESS RUE MCCLANAHAN IS BORN.
The Golden Girl. I met her once.
1937: THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS BANS FOREIGN NATIONAL VOLUNTEERS IN THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR.
By the way, is there ever anything civil about war?
1945: WORLD WAR II - DURING THE BATTLE OF IWO JIMA, JAPANESE KAMIKAZE PLANES SINK THE ESCORT CARRIER USS BISMARCK SEA AND DAMAGE THE USS SARATOGA.
Not the Bismarck that was sunk in the song. That was another one.
1946: ACTOR ANTHONY DANIELS IS BORN.
Behind all that gold armor, does any know what he looks like?
1946: ACTOR ALAN RICKMAN IS BORN.
And died 70 years later...way too soon.
1947: IN NEW YORK CITY, EDWIN LAND DEMONSTRATES THE FIRST 'INSTANT CAMERA," THE POLAROID LAND CAMERA, TO A MEETING OF THE OPTICAL SOCIETY OF AMERICA.
Waiting two minutes for your photo to be developed.
1948: NASCAR IS INCORPORATED.
V-room.
1952: THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, UNDER WINSTON CHURCHILL, ABOLISHES IDENTITY CARDS IN THE UK TO SET THE PEOPLE FREE.
Free from what? More information please.
1955: ACTOR KELSEY GRAMMER IS BORN.
This is Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
1965: MALCOLM X IS ASSASSINATED AT THE AUDUBON BALLROOM IN NEW YORK CITY.
If he was ever on "What's My Line?," would he sign in as "Mr. X?"
1972: US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON VISITS THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA TO NORMALIZE SINO-AMERICAN RELATIONS.
Were Sino-American relations ever abnormal?
1975: WATERGATE - FORMER US ATTORNEY GENERAL JOHN MITCHELL AND FORMER WHITE HOUSE AIDES HR HALDEMAN AND JOHN EHRLICHMAN ARE SENTENCED TO PRISON.
Like 5000 lawyers on the bottom of the ocean...a good start.
1995: STEVE FOSSETT LANDS IN CANADA BECOMING THE FIRST PERSON TO MAKE A SOLO FLIGHT ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN IN A BALLOON.
Except he was trying to land in San Diego.
2018: EVANGELIST BILLY GRAHAM DIES.
Lunching with Jesus on February 22.
2019: FILM DIRECTOR/DANCER STANLEY DONEN DIES.
Done in.
2019: MONKEE PETER TORK DIES.
Who's up for a Last Train to Clarksville joke?
Dinner last night: Sandwich.
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