Paul Lynde to Block

When you recuperate from knee surgery, you find yourself watching old game shows...just like I did when I was home from school in the fourth grade.  The Buzzr network has a lot of good ones, but, for some bizarre reason, no vintage "Hollywood Squares."   And this got me to remembering the brilliance of Paul Lynde.

Peter Marshall: In the movies, Frankenstein's monster was always big and ugly. And he had lots of scars. What was his biggest fear?

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

Peter Marshall: Can you get 12 pounds of feathers out of a goose?

Paul Lynde: I got them in there, didn't I?

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?

Paul Lynde: The scoutmaster!

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: Oh, the Ty-De-Bowl Man.

Peter Marshall: According to research at USC, is it okay for your marriage to fantasize that your wife is Farrah Fawcett Majors?

Paul Lynde: If that doesn't work, try Lee Majors!

Peter Marshall: You've gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What's next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

Peter Marshall: Who are Mark Trail, Steve Roper and Tank McNamara?

Paul Lynde: Oh, you found my address book!

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the primary problem that develops with men's zippers?

Paul Lynde: Rust.

Peter Marshall: Is it possible to drink too much water?

Paul Lynde: Yes, it's called drowning!

Peter Marshall: True or false, Dan Rowan hasn't spoken to either his daughter or Peter Lawford since their marriage?

Paul Lynde: I don't think anyone has seen them except for room service.

Peter Marshall: Mama Cass Ellott has an official royal title. What is it?

Paul Lynde: Tubby!

Peter Marshall: The state of New York is repainting something that will be 90 next may. What are they repainting?

Paul Lynde: Arlene Francis.

Peter Marshall: During the 18th century it was common for a bride to sell something at her wedding reception to help pay for the cost of the wedding. What did she sell?

Paul Lynde: Her first born.

Peter Marshall: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?

Paul Lynde: No, but he's a terrific end table.

Peter Marshall: Why was Daniel thrown to the den of lions?

Paul Lynde: For jaywalking in Jerusalem.

Peter Marshall: You are leaving Hawaii by boat. Legend says that you'll return if you do something. Do what?

Paul Lynde: I guess have Don Ho's baby.

Peter Marshall: According to Mythology, if a Sphinx asked a man a question, and the man answered it incorrectly, what woud happen?

Paul Lynde: Circle gets the square.

Peter Marshall: The newest best selling album by this top star is entitled "To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With". Who's the recording star?

Paul Lynde: Little Baby Rose Marie.

Peter Marshall: Olivia De Havilland once sat on something in a movie that Roy Rogers says he grew to love. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A box of Milk Duds.

Peter Marshall: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they'regoing to do something together one more time. What?

Paul Lynde: Trade hairpieces.

Peter Marshall: Ann Landers recently wrote a book titled "How To Tell The Difference Between Love And..." what?

Paul Lynde: A kidney infection.

Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, "Things aren't always as bad as they seem if you..." do what?

Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.

Peter Marshall: Way up in the frozen north, what was Eric The Red's famous discovery?

Paul Lynde: Little Boy Blue.

Peter Marshall: Richard Burton wants one very much, but Liz is reported to be afraid to give him one. One what?

Paul Lynde: The Certs breath test.

Peter Marshall: Does Mark Spitz believe swimming in the nude helps you go faster?

Paul Lynde: Well, it's easy to steer.

Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher says that he hasn't had one in eight years, but he's looking. For what?

Paul Lynde: Oh, an accompanist who takes Mastercharge.

Peter Marshall: Howard Cosell's wife recently said in an interview that her husband tells her this at least five times a day. What does he say to her?

Paul Lynde: Is my toupee back from the cleaners?

Peter Marshall: True or false, Paul...champagne glasses were designed to resemble Marie Antoinette's bosom?

Paul Lynde: And we have Karen Valentine to thank for the shot glass!

Peter Marshall: According to Compton's Encyclopedia, when Columbus returned from his famous trip, he brought Queen Isabella six naked savages, some animals, some plants, and something valuable. What was it?

Paul Lynde: I'll say the six naked savages.

Peter Marshall: Julie Nixon Eisenhower recently told reporters "You don't know what a relief it is not to worry about having them around all the time!". What are "they?"

Paul Lynde: Oh, Mom and Dad.

Peter Marshall: When is it a good idea tp put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for two minutes?

Paul Lynde: When your house is surrounded by the police.

Peter Marshall: In the Bible, King David asked beautiful and wise Abigail to do something after her first husband died. What?

Paul Lynde: Get him out of the room.

Peter Marshall: In the United States, what do we call the number one followed by 12 zeros?

Paul Lynde: Dean Martin And The Golddiggers.

Dinner last night:  Rigatoni and meatballs.