This Date in History - April 17

 

Happy birthday, Teri Austin.  Don't know who she is?  Looking at that picture, guys, don't you wish you did?

69:  AFTER THE FIRST BATTLE OF BEDRIACUM, VITELLIUS BECOMES ROMAN EMPEROR.

Vitellius also won't leave your hair greasy.

1080:  KING OF DENMARK HARALD III DIES AND IS SUCCEEDED BY CANUTE IV, WHO WOULD LATER BE THE FIRST DANE TO BE CANONIZED.

The second Dane to be canonized was Victor Borge.

1397:  GEOFFREY CHAUCER TELLS THE CANTERBURY TALES FOR THE FIRST TIME.

And, in a fashion, indirectly invented the seventh grade book report.

1492:  SPAIN AND CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS SIGN THE CAPITULATIONS OF SANTA FE FOR HIS VOYAGE TO ASIA TO ACQUIRE SPICES.

Asia?  Yeah, he was a little off.

1521:  TRIAL OF MARTIN LUTHER OVER HIS TEACHINGS BEGINS DURING THE ASSEMBLY OF THE DIET OF WORMS.  

I'll take my worms medium rare, please.

1524:  GIOVANNI DA VERRAZZANO REACHES NEW YORK HARBOR.

"What a nice-a spot-a for my bridge."

1707:  SIR RALPH ABERCROMBY ATTACKS SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO IN WHAT WOULD BE ONE OF THE LARGEST INVASIONS OF THE SPANISH TERRITORIES IN AMERICA.

No sign of Fith.

1864:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, THE BATTLE OF PLYMOUTH BEGINS.  

Plymouth...the home of the 1973 Duster.

1897:  THE AURORA, TEXAS UFO INCIDENT.

If you're going to see a flying saucer, you might as well live in Texas.

1896:  VENTRILOQUIST SENOR WENCES IS BORN.

All right?  All right.

1897:  AUTHOR THORNTON WILDER IS BORN.

From Her Womb to Our Town.

1905:  ACTOR ARTHUR LAKE IS BORN.

Blondie!!!!!!!!!

1907:  THE ELLIS ISLAND IMMIGRATION CENTER PROCESSES 11,747 PEOPLE, MORE THAN ON ANY OTHER DAY.

In 2013, we get that many illegals in one week.

1918:  ACTOR WILLIAM HOLDEN IS BORN.

Born in a trunk...died on a coffee table.

1923:  JOURNALIST HARRY REASONER IS BORN.

Journalist.  Remember those?

1945:  BRAZILIAN FORCES LIBERATE THE TOWN OF MONTESE, ITALY FROM GERMAN NAZI FORCES.

When you need the help of Brazil, you know your army sucks.

1957:  ACTRESS TERI AUSTIN IS BORN.

One of the best villains on "Knots Landing," that's who.

1961:  A GROUP OF CIA FINANCED AND TRAINED CUBAN EXILES LANDS AT THE BAY OF PIGS IN CUBA WITH THE AIM OF OUSTING FIDEL CASTRO.

Yeah, that worked well.

1964:  THE FORD MUSTANG IS INTRODUCED TO THE NORTH AMERICAN MARKET.

Pedal to the metal.

1969:  SIRHAN SIRHAN IS CONVICTED OF ASSASSINATING ROBERT F. KENNEDY.

So guilty his mother named him twice.

1970:  THE ILL-FATED APOLLO 13 SPACECRAFT RETURNS TO EARTH SAFELY.

Lousy mission, great movie.

1973:  GEORGE LUCAS BEGINS WRITING THE TREATMENT FOR STAR WARS.

Dumbest agent in town:  "That will never sell."

1986:  THE THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE YEARS' WAR BETWEEN THE NETHERLANDS AND THE ISLES OF SCILLY ENDS.

Talk about your long-standing grudges.

1987:  COMEDIAN DICK SHAWN DIES.

It's a Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead World.

1998;  LINDA MCCARTNEY DIES.

A health nut who didn't make it to the age of 60.

2003:  NUTRITIONIST ROBERT ATKINS DIES.

Healthy living claims another.

2003:  PHILANTHROPIST JOHN PAUL GETTY JR. DIES.

And being rich is no guarantee either.

2007:  ACTRESS KITTY CARLISLE DIES.

Apparently, long black gloves also are deadly.

2011:  ACTOR MICHAEL SARRAZIN DIES.

I saw him once in a super market.  That was not enough to keep him alive.

2016:  ACTRESS DORIS ROBERTS DIES.

Terrific character on "Everybody Loves Raymond."

2018:  FIRST LADY BARBARA BUSH DIES.

She looked old when she was young.

Dinner last night:   Hamburger.