If I Tweeted - July 2011

I don't.  But, if I did, this is what you would have read this month...

#LenSpeaks  I woke up on the morning of LA's carmaggedon and was able to get into my bathroom without hitting traffic.

#LenSpeaks  Traffic in Los Angeles was so much easier during this freeway shutdown.  For the first time, I was only twenty minutes late.

#LenSpeaks  Sorry, folks.  The award for biggest traffic tie-up on the west side of Los Angeles still goes to Obama's fundraising trip last year. 

#LenSpeaks  I couldn't leave my garage for three hours because he had to go pick up a check at some billionaire's house.

#LenSpeaks  Any truth to the rumor that Casey Anthony will be joining Charlie Sheen on his new sitcom.  "One Man, One Woman, and What Baby?"

#LenSpeaks  Requisite Amy Winehouse post.  I didn't know her, never heard her music, and never ate at her restaurant.

#LenSpeaks  Her family said she died from alcohol withdrawal.  Yep, I think she was taking it out of the bottle just fine.

#LenSpeaks  I hear Amy tried to send a voice mail just before she died, but it was hacked by Rupert Murdoch.

#LenSpeaks  It's hot all over the country.  Some call it global warming.  I call it summer.

#LenSpeaks  I now officially have more friends not working than are working.  Yeah, the economy is so much better.

#LenSpeaks  Everybody's talking about raising the debt ceiling.  Why don't we just lower the floor?

#LenSpeaks  Everytime I hear Christine Amanpour's voice on television, I miss Chet Huntley and David Brinkley even more.

#LenSpeaks  It's official.  According to President Obama, George Bush was the second gunman on the grassy knoll in Dallas.

#LenSpeaks  What goes around comes around.  Obama's daughter spilled grape juice on the White House carpet and she told her mom, "Bush did it!."

#LenSpeaks  I wish the press would stop referring to those guys who beat up Bryan Stow as the "Dodger beating suspects."  If this happened outside the Staples Center, would they be "Laker beating suspects?"

#LenSpeaks  It's not like one of the Dodgers held the guy down in the parking lot.  Because we all know that Juan Uribe can't hit a thing.

#LenSpeaks  The Dodgers in 2011 may be disappointing, but it is a joy to watch Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp complete their climb to superstardom.

#LenSpeaks  Harry Potter is over, right?

#LenSpeaks  I don't understand why people have to run and see a movie on opening weekend.    Is the movie any shorter or if you wait a week or two?

#LenSpeaks  If you see some guy driving a Porsche or a Ferrari and he's got a handicapped placard in the windshield, don't you wonder?

#LenSpeaks  How can somebody handicapped climb into one of those cars??  Heh?????

#LenSpeaks  Thanks to the First Lady, there will now be apple slices in McDonald's Happy Meals.  And probably apple slices in McDonald's garbage cans.

#LenSpeaks  But there were no apple slices on the chili dog I saw her wolfing down in the newspaper.

#LenSpeaks  Alice in Wonderland had a tea party.  Who knew she was a Conservative???

#LenSpeaks  Don't you hope there is something called "heaven.org?"  I hate to have my e-mail piled up more than three days at a time.

#LenSpeaks  I guess that, eventually, each of us will be "uploaded."

#LenSpeaks  A question for the ages.  If Jesus had a Facebook page, would he have "unfriended" Judas?  Let's discuss.

#LenSpeaks  Does every asshole have this own blog?  (Looking in the mirror)  I suppose.

Dinner last night:  Pork loin, rice, and broccolini.