Len's Jukebox of the Month - April 2021

Juke boxes come in all shapes and forms, depending upon your mood.   I personally tell people I don't listen to music written after 1990.   A joke, but more truth than you think.

Here's what I gravitate to when I want to get into my disco roots.   Yes, all of us of a certain age have disco roots.   And there is nothing more infectious than this one from Donna Summer.

Dinner last night:  Mongolian beef at PF Chang's.

Hollywood Then and Now - April 2021

Thanks to TV shows like "I Love Lucy," one of my faraway and youthful perceptions of Hollywood was that every restaurant out here was the Brown Derby.   Indeed, there were several of them all over town.   

I missed every single one of them.   The last closed in 1985.   Oh, if I had only...

So here's the Brown Derby that was nestled in Beverly Hills.

I bet Clark Gable is inside having a cocktail just as this vintage photo was taken.

And that location today?

Quite the difference.  And the downgrade.

Dinner last night:  Just some Chinese food in the NY apartment after a long travel day.

This Date in History - April 28

 

It's Ann-Margret's birthday.  As if I needed an excuse to look at that photo.

1503:  THE BATTLE OF CERIGNOLA IS FOUGHT.  IT IS BELIEVED TO BE THE FIRST FIGHT WON BY USING GUNPOWDER.

You can put your spears down, fellers.

1788:  MARYLAND BECOMES THE SEVENTH STATE TO RATIFY THE US CONSTITUTION.

The US Constitution? What is that?

1789:  THE REAL MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY OCCURS.  

And, no, Clark Gable wasn't that old.

1874:  ACTOR SIDNEY TOLER IS BORN.

The best Charlie Chan.

1878:  ACTOR LIONEL BARRYMORE IS BORN.

Must have been hard getting that wheelchair down the birth canal.

1881:  BILLY THE KID ESCAPES FROM JAIL IN NEW MEXICO.

Surprised?

1908:  BUSINESSMAN OSKAR SCHINDLER IS BORN.

Are you keeping a list?

1923:  WEMBLEY STADIUM IS OPENED.

Tennis anyone?

1926:  AUTHOR HARPER LEE IS BORN.

Scout?

1930:  ACTRESS CAROLYN JONES IS BORN.

Da-da-da-da...snap, snap.

1941:  ACTRESS ANN-MARGRET IS BORN.

God bless her parents.  Oh, shit, that makes her 80!!!

1945:  BENITO MUSSOLINI AND HIS MISTRESS ARE SHOT DEAD.

Wonder where he'll be hanging around next.

1950:  COMIC JAY LENO IS BORN.

Another one who is older than I thought.

1952:  DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER RESIGNS AS COMMANDER OF NATO.

Hmmmm, maybe he should run for President.

1967:  BOXER MUHAMMAD ALI REFUSES HIS INDUCTION INTO THE US ARMY AND IS SUBSEQUENTLY STRIPPED OF HIS TITLE.

Float like a butterfly....whatever.

1969:  CHARLES DE GAULLE RESIGNS AS PRESIDENT OF FRANCE.

Adieu.

1970:  PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON FORMALLY AUTHORIZES AMERICAN TROOPS TO TAKE PART IN THE CAMBODIAN CAMPAIGN.

Spoiler alert...good luck with that.

1970:  ACTOR ED BEGLEY DIES.

Ed Jr.'s dad.  Duh.

1973:  "THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON" BY PINK FLOYD GOES TO NUMBER ONE IN THE US BILLBOARD CHART.

How many acid trips did this provoke?

1986:  HIGH LEVELS OF RADIATION ARE FOUND IN SWEDEN AS A RESULT OF THE CHERNOBYL DISASTER.

Why, you're all aglow.

1988:  NEAR MAUI,  A FLIGHT ATTENDANT IS BLOWN OUT OF AN ALOHA AIRLINES FLIGHT WHEN THE PLANE'S FUSELAGE RIPS OPEN IN MID-FLIGHT.

Talk about your exit row.

1993:  BASKETBALL COACH JIM VALVANO DIES.

That's his fifth personal foul.

1996:  WHITEWATER - PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON GIVES A 4 1/2 HOUR TESTIMONY FOR THE DEFENSE.

And he did date that girl, either.

2007:  MUSICIAN TOMMY NEWSOM DIES.

So who will sit in for Doc?

2019:  FILM DIRECTOR JOHN SINGLETON DIES.

Corpse in The Hood.

Dinner last night:  Teriyaki noodles.

Len's Recipe of the Month - April 2021

 

I am currently enamored with a You Tube cooking series named "Sip and Feast," which is done by a young father living on Long Island.   He is using this portal to share recipes from his Italian grandmother.   I will certainly be trying out a few of those and you will likely see them here.

But, oddly, the first one I am bringing you isn't really Italian.   It's very, very basic but delicious.  It's the side dish above that is accompanying a basic flank steak that was marinated in brown sugar and soy.   

Yep, the focus here is on Butter Balsamic mushrooms.  So easy to make and so elegant.

Get a pound of either portobello mushrooms or baby Bellas.  Clean them and slice them.  Or you can cheat and buy the baby Bellas like...ahem...I did.

With a tablespoon of EVO in a skillet, add the mushrooms and brown for about five minutes in medium high heat.  They will shrink and water will come out of them.   

Lower the heat and add two tablespoons of unsalted butter.   Let that cook for about four to five minutes.   Then raise the heat again and add two tablespoons of good Balsamic vinegar.   This will help to thicken the liquid in the pan.

Let that cook for about three to four minutes.   Add a little salt to taste and garnish with some chopped parsley.

It is amazing.

Thank you, Sip and Feast.

Dinner last night:  Canadian bacon and fontina cheese frittata.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - April 26, 2021

 A visual gag from "Everybody Loves Raymond" that never gets old.

Dinner last night:  Grilled bratwurst and caramelized onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Movies That Stick With Us

 

Surprise!  It's Oscar Day in Hollywood!  I will pause while you yawn.

Yeah, I know.   This used to be a big deal.   In Post-COVID Land, not so much.  This year, the ceremonies are scattered all over town so social distancing can be maintained.   Most of the nominees will be sitting in the parking lot at Union Station.  Meanwhile, I am hard pressed to name who is even nominated.   Most of the films from 2020 I viewed from the couch with one eye barely open.

But, we have our memories.  Take a gander at the photo above.   From an awards ceremony perhaps forty or fifty years ago.   The venue that year was the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium which still exists.   And dig the family cars dropping off arrivals.  No limos?   Wow.

When I was a kid, the Oscars started at 10PM Eastern time and way past my nightly appointment with the Sandman.  I missed it all.  But, there was the third grade when my teacher, Mrs. Popper, actually discussed the Oscars in class.  I used that leverage as a means to negotiate a late "stay-up" for that night's awards.   I mean, the teacher gave it to us as homework.

That would be the very first time I watched the Academy Awards.   Thank you, Mrs. Popper.  

But, I digress...

Today, it is fitting we talk about the movies.   And those years around my third grade class when I was starting to appreciate the amazing world of that silver screen in front of us.   At the RKO Proctor's on Gramatan Avenue in Mount Vernon, New York.  Or the Loews right around the corner.  Or the Wakefield underneath the subway elevated tracks in the Bronx.  Or the drive-in theater up in Elmsford.

Truth be told, as soon as I knew what the movies were, I was enthralled.   I didn't learn how to read with Dick and Jane.   I got my education from the movie pages of the New York Daily News or the New York Daily Mirror.

I learned how to print because I would leave notes for my parents whenever I wanted to go to the movies.  I did my research and would give them the title of the movie, the time, and where it was playing.   It even worked sometimes.

When I was supposed to be doing my lessons on the kitchen table, I frequently designed movie theater marquees and what they would say.   Sometimes, I used real movies.   Other times, I made up my own stuff.

Yeah, I was that kind of a goofy kid.

As I look back, there are thousands of movie memories from my childhood.  But, on Oscar Day 2021, I want to focus on a select few that really stood out for some reason or another.   I may have shared some of the associated stories before and they are worth repeating as I salute those films that really impacted me at a very young age.
 
"Some Like It Hot" holds a very special place in my own personal film history, as it was the very first time I heard a movie theater audience laugh. 

Out loud. I was very, very, very young, but I distinctly remember going to Loews' Mount Vernon theater to see it. It was even more noteworthy since it was probably the only time I ever went to an indoor theater with both my parents in tow. 

Back in those days, your neighborhood movie house ran two pictures and you frequently didn't pay attention to start times. You just showed up when you wanted to. There were many times when we would show up and see the final 20 minutes of one movie, see the next one, and then leave at the exact spot where we came in. Very weird and I would never even fathom doing that today.

We inexplicably arrived to see "Some Like It Hot" about ten minutes from the end. I remember very little except that it was the big chase scene through the hotel. And the audience was roaring with laughter. I did not know what to make of it all. 

Many years later, I truly understood.

There is not one single wasted moment or line of dialogue in this whole movie. Every word has a purpose and a function. And, more importantly, it gets you to where Billy Wilder wants you. In the palm of his hand. Laughing hysterically till it hurt. I've read the screenplay several times and it is a master course in film comedy. It should be used as a textbook in film schools all over the country.

I've seen "Some Like It Hot" probably 30 or 40 times in my life. It never gets old or repetitive. I've seen it on TV and on the big screen. It never gets any less funnier than it was the very first time. When I walked into that Loews theater across from City Hall in Mount Vernon.

And heard all those people enjoying a truly phenomenal movie.

"Bye Bye Birdie" was my first non-edible obsession. When I initially saw it when it arrived at the Loews Theater in Mount Vernon, I couldn't get enough of it. Because I wound up seeing it six times over the next seven days. I'm not sure why I skipped a day, but it must have been, in the most Biblical of senses, our day to rest.

Oddly enough, I went to see it all those times by myself.  The very first times I went to the movies alone.  I had sent the request form into my parents with a terse reply back.

"We don't like Dick Van Dyke."

Huh?

So, as would happen many times over the next few years, my father would take me to the theater and ask the matron of the place to watch over me.   A different time and a different place.   You wouldn't dare do that with a young child in 2014.

Meanwhile, this film also probably marked the official grand opening of Len's Hormones. The ribbon cutter was none other than Ann-Margret. The poster to the left gives her limited justice. As a matter of fact, there was a similar pose on the cover of the stereophonic long playing soundtrack record and I will tastefully refuse to tell you what I used to do with that record jacket. 

And, in an incomprehensible twist, the other thing that made me love this movie was the presence of Paul Lynde as the father. I was, of course, way, way too naive to understand all the sordid details of Mr. Lynde's private life. All I knew was that I thought the guy was a stitch and that I wished secretly my father was just like this guy. Years later, I doubt that I wanted my dad to be cruising Santa Monica Boulevard looking for teenage boys.

I played the "Bye Bye Birdie" soundtrack on my record player constantly. I knew all the words to every song and wanted desperately to be in the show if it ever was done in my school. In retrospect, I creep myself out at how nuts I was about this movie. And now I wonder what the hell drew me to it, beyond Ann-Margret's multiple scenes in Spandex.

Well, the music is quite underrated. There are shows/movie musicals that have been more successful, but I couldn't tell one song from another. Indeed, "Bye Bye Birdie" harkens back to a simpler time. You probably remember the plot. It was a parody of the real life hysteria that happened when Elvis Presley was inducted into the Army. Perhaps it's all this teenage angst that drew me in. It was a harbinger of things to come. Amid all the drama of the world, these kids seemed to be okay and even thriving. Maybe that was the future I was hoping for. That life would be so comfortable that I could sit on the telephone and talk to my friends all day like the kids of Sweet Apple, Ohio did.

Like "Bye Bye Birdie," I came to this movie as a kid. Another film my folks didn't want to see.   They dropped me off at the RKO Proctor's after telling the theater staff to watch over me for a couple of hours.   Cinematic daycare.

And, yes, I was equally addicted to the words, the music, and the performances. I would walk to school, singing the songs like some loon. And that included doing "Gary, Indiana" complete with the Ronny Howard-perfected lisp. CBS seemed to run this movie once a season, and I would be plopped down in front of the set days and weeks in advance. 

There was something about the town of River City and the very special summer they experience that captivated me. Perhaps, it was because my hometown of Mount Vernon, New York was slowly evolving into something very un-special. For us, there would be no such thing as a boy's band. Instead, there would be gangs, riots, and hostility. If only our worlds could be about the ice cream social in the local park.

In my younger days, it wasn't always about going to the movies.   I fell in deep love with a few of them unspooling on the black and white television.

When I was about seven or eight, WOR-TV, Channel 9 in New York, had the weirdest programming. Other than Mets baseball, their daily schedule was made up of old movies. And they did something really bizarre called "Million Dollar Movie."

They would pick some old film from the 30s and 40s and run it twice every week night Monday through Friday. Then, on Saturday and Sunday, they would show it continuously over and over all weekend. It's a surprise to me that, at the end of this weekly cycle, some poor celluloid was frayed at the edges. Usually, the movies were completely from the B variety shelf. But, every so often, there was some gem that I could not turn off. "If You Knew Susie." "Hold That Ghost." "Buck Privates."

And "Yankee Doodle Dandy."

I caught it somehow the first night and I was drawn in on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And, by the end of the week, I had seen it probably 11 or 12 times. I knew every line of dialogue. Every lyric. Every dance step. Even where the commercial breaks were.
 
But, I never watched the first ten minutes. Because, at the very beginning of the movie, young George M. Cohan misbehaves and is spanked by his father. I never could bring myself to watch that. Perhaps, I ws projecting.

"Yankee Doodle Dandy" is the epitome of a star vehicle. If you put anybody else in the lead role of renowned songwriter George M. Cohan besides Jimmy Cagney, you don't have the same movie. You probably don't even have a good one. The film is his. Pure and simple. He acts. He sings. He dances. He glides. He wins an Oscar. Cagney was truly one of the unsung actors of our country's film history, and he reaches his pinnacle in this movie. 

And, speaking of the Million Dollar Movie... 

Thanks to that old stand-by WOR, I probably saw "The Big Circus" 30 or 40 times. Made in 1959 to capitalize on "The Greatest Show on Earth," I thought this movie was even better. Circus sabotage. Big name actors. Runaway tigers. It even had a train crash just like his predecessor. 

Sure, "The Big Circus" was cheesy. While some of the special effects were terrific, others were downright awful. At one point in the movie, Gilbert Roland, playing a famous Wallenda-like acrobat, attempts to walk across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. There are actually some location shots actually filmed at the Falls. At the same time, other shots are obviously filmed on the backlot and look so shoddy when compared to the real thing.

I didn't care. Here was yet another movie theme song that I would sing out loud while skipping to school.

"There's nothing as gay as a wonderful day at THE BIG CIRCUS!"

I probably would be more judicious and less vocal with those lyrics today. But, nevertheless, if "The Big Circus" was playing on TV, I was there. I knew every line and every plot turn. Rhonda Fleming, as the circus PR agent, had the most gorgeous red hair and I wanted her to be my new mother. I didn't care that the movie was shot in widescreen and was subsequently butchered in image by Channel 9.  Along with "Bye Bye Birdie" and "The Music Man," this was cinematic nirvana for me.

By the time I was 12, the film disappeared from view.   Nobody ran it on TV.  It never came out on...ahem...VHS.   A major moment of my childhood was seemingly gone forever.

The movie was produced by Allied Artists, which disbanded as quickly as the Banana Splits.  As a result, "The Big Circus" fell into the Hollywood black hole. It stopped being played on TV. None of the classic movie channels had it in their libraries. I even went as far as writing Turner Classic Movies. Nothing. 

Totally deserving of a restoration, "The Big Circus" didn't even get a chance to be shown anywhere.

Like kids in grammar school, I forget about it from time to time. But, then, suddenly something jars my memory and my passion to rediscover it begins anew. I open a newspaper and see a picture of the now-passed-on Rhonda Fleming at a charity event, so my writing partner prods me to find her address and ask her where the movie is. I stumble across a website created by Irwin Allen's estate. He was the producer, so, surely, somebody there must know. Nothing. I put the film far back in my mental hard drive once again.

Then, a few years back, a well-meaning good friend birthday-gifts me with a VHS version of the film that she tracked down somewhere overseas. While I get to savor "The Big Circus" again, I can't help but notice that the dub is terrible and obviously done off a TV transmission. In the widescreen and pristine era of DVDs, this is unacceptable. I bury the movie in my brain's graveyard one more time.

And, then, out of the blue comes the Aero Theater's showing of "Seventh Voyage of Sinbad" with live commentary offered by the film's crew and cast. Which featured Kathryn Grant Crosby, who also conveniently for me is one of the co-stars of "The Big Circus." 

I go into attack mode.

After "Sinbad," I see that Ms. Grant-Crosby is extremely accessible to the audience. I immediately make my way over. My first comment to her probably scared the pellets out of her.

"Ms. Grant, can I ask you something that has nothing to do with this movie?"

There was a momentary look of fear on her face, as if I was going to ask about how many shots she took to the head from Bing. I continued.

"One of my favorite movies when I was a kid was 'The Big Circus'..."

Kathryn Grant-Crosby beamed as if I had just told her that Bing had even more stock in Minute Maid. She smiled broadly and grabbed my hand.

"Mine, too."

I pressed on. "Can you tell me why it is not seen anyplace?"

"I don't know. We made it at Metro, but it was Allied Artists. Did you write to Irwin Allen's people?"

I told her that was a dead end. As well as Turner Classic Movies. We chatted for a few minutes.

She grinned. "Well, we both want to see it again, so let's work on it." 

Maybe we put the energy out there, Kathryn Grant Crosby and I.   Two years later, a glorious DVD was released by Warner Classic Video.   It rests on my book shelf today.   And I can be a kid all over again.

During my single digit age days,  I was a bit of an outcast in my own family.   Most of my cousins were older.   Perhaps by no more than seven or ten years, but there is a huge chasm when they're horny teenagers and you're still watching Popeye cartoons.  And they constantly reminded me of the age difference by wanting to have as little to do with me as possible.

But, God bless my cousin Gini.  She was the first and ultimately only one to show me any level of kindness.   And the act was as simple as this...

She offered to take me to the movies.  

And, oh, it was not just any movie.  It was Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds."  Oh, sure, my parents had not really shown much censorship when they took me to the movies.   I came along regardless of the film fare.   If it got too provocative on the screen, the chances are I would be bored anyway.   I'd bide my time by simply running up and down the stairs of RKO Proctor's.

But, "The Birds" was different.   Because it was one of my cousins who was considering me "old enough" to see a horror movie.   Where birds attack children.  Where Suzanne Pleshette as the school teacher gets pecked to death.   Where the blood flowed freely.

I was in complete awe that afternoon.  Not because of the excitement on the screen.   It was because a cousin was finally thinking of me as an equal.   And wanting to spend some time with the little kid.

Okay, I did have one cousin who was my age.   Bobby, the son of my mom's sister.   They lived all the way out in Deer Park, Long Island.  The big attraction there was a backyard pool, where we drowned each other every summer.  But, during the winter, we'd be cooped up in the house while our parents smoked, drank beer, and cheated at Yahtzee.  Bobby and I were easily dispensed with by simply dumping us off for the afternoon at the Deer Park Cinema.

One such foray was for the movie "Goldfinger."  Once again, it was the day and era where our screen choices weren't necessarily given the so-called "parental guidance."  I didn't know who this James Bond guy was, but we soon found out.  Our jaws dropped at what we were seeing.   We were as adult as could be that day.

Staring at the screen at the naked woman lying dead in bed.   Painted tip to tail in gold.  

If our folks only knew.

We loved every moment of "Goldfinger" and it acted as a rite of passage for us.   Neither of us had seen nudity on the screen before.  

My father picked us up afterward.

"How was the movie?"

We murmured.  Okay.

Well, it was more than okay.   For both of us, we secretly had entered a new world of cinematic pleasure.  

We had grown up.   In a short two hours.

But, then again, that's what the movies always do for all of us.   Teach us.  Lead us.  Entertain us.   And, as you get older, your tastes might change.  But the flickering image on the screen still commands your attention.

None of the winners tonight will.

Dinner last night:  Pepperoni pizza at the game.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - April 2021

 This classic hit theaters 50 years ago (?!) this month.

Dinner last night:  Omelet with Canadian bacon and fontina cheese.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for April 2021

 

And we are back.   After a year of having no Weekend Movie Guides, we are going to give it a whirl.   Okay, so only some theaters are open.   And, okay, so there is social distancing and wearing masks.   If the latter bothers you, don't go see "Lawrence of Arabia."

Do you remember how this monthly drill goes?  I'll root through the Los Angeles Times and give you my knee jerk gut reaction to what is playing "out there."  We may discover we were all better off napping on the sofa.

Godzilla Vs. King Kong:   It's all computer graphics.   I liked it better when these two fought with guys in rubber suits.

Mortal Kombat:  Sounds like a computer game.   Isn't that what most movies are nowadays?

Demon Slayer The Movie - Mugen Train:  See comment for Mortal Kombat and say ditto.

Wolfwalkers:   During COVID, I saw a variety of animals out on the streets.

City Lies:  Starring Eric Garcetti and Bill DeBlasio.

Chaos Walking:  See comment for City Lies and say ditto.

Nomadland:  Might win the Best Picture Oscar on Sunday.   Somebody please explain that to me if it happens.

The Trail of the Chicago 7:   More overwriting and overdirecting by Aaron Sorkin.

The Courier:   That Cumberbatch guy is in this, so ladies, mask up and have yourselves a time.

Nobody:   Len, is there a politician you like?   See answer in title.

Minari:  Looks like an interesting story about a Korean family tending to an American farm.   Hopefully, there are no dogs there.

Time:  A documentary about a woman trying to get her hubby out of jail despite a 60 year sentence.   So I am guessing this wasn't shoplifting.

The Father:   This year's almost obligatory Oscar nomination about someone dealing with dementia.   Not a comedy.

Promising Young Woman:   I hear good things but I have yet to decide which of the above will mark my return to the multiplex.

Dinner last night:  Hot dogs.

Your Winning Oscar Ballot - Part 2

I know, I know.   Regardless of the age, nobody gives a damn about this year's Oscars.  I mean, if the Academy doesn't care.   They're making the nominees sit in the parking lot at the Union Station.

And, yes, I realize there are no office pools.   But if you're the oddball who found one to participate in, the following predictions are for you.   I sweated the small stuff on Tuesday.   Here's the big shit.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:  This almost always goes to the film with the best director, so don't read ahead.   Now, I thought "News of the World" was wonderfully shot.  But, there's that director tie-in.   Despite the fact that it was an advertisement for RVs, the winner is NOMADLAND.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:  I'm only going on what I have heard, but there is good buzz about this one.  I will have to catch up with it.  Or sleep through it.  The winner is PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:  Here's where we really start to get into message awards.   You know.   They're dying to hear the winner bloviate about the world's problems.  Yada, yada, yada.  The winner is DANIEL KALUUYA for JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:  I want to see "Minari" and I heard her performance is top notch.   But her award is solidified by all the recent violence against Asian-Americans.  The winner is YUH-JUNG YOUN for MINARI.

BEST ACTOR:  I am sorry for the other four nominees in this category.   I mean, you're up against some who is Black and also died of colon cancer.  Try again next year.  The winner is CHADWICK BOSEMAN for MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM.

BEST ACTRESS:  I am hearing this is the only category that is a competition.   It's between Viola Davis and Carey Mulligan.  Now you would think that Viola is unbeatable based on skin tone.  But, is it possible that the Oscars would award all four acting awards to diversity.  The winner is CAREY MULLIGAN for PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN.

BEST DIRECTOR:  She's a woman.  She's Asian.  She's an automatic.  The winner is CHLOE ZHAO for NOMADLAND....

BEST PICTURE:  ...which was a movie I found depressing and dull and tough to look at.  Much like everybody's 2020.  The winner is NOMADLAND.

Like I said, nobody cares.

Dinner last night:  Antipasto salad.

This Date in History - April 21

 

Happy birthday, Jesse Orosco.   We shared a moment in time.

753 BC:  ROMULUS FOUNDS ROME.

I wrote it as printed...bad grammar and all.

1092:  THE DIOCESE OF PISA IS ELEVATED TO THE RANK OF ARCHDIOCESE BY POPE URBAN II.

Let's see how they slant that.

1508:  THE THREE DAY LISBON MASSACRE COMES TO AN END WITH THE SLAUGHTER OF OVER 1,900 SUSPECTED JEWS BY CATHOLICS.

Just so you don't think it was all Germany's fault.

1509:  HENRY VIII ASCENDS THE THRONE OF ENGLAND.

And also climbed up on a bunch of women.

1789:  GEORGE WASHINGTON'S RECEPTION AT TRENTON IS HOSTED BY THE LADIES OF TRENTON AS HE JOURNEYS TO NEW YORK FOR HIS FIRST INAUGURATION.

Ladies of Trenton?   Sounds like code to me.

1856:  STONEMASONS AND BUILDING WORKERS MARCH IN MELBOURNE TO ACHIEVE AN EIGHT-HOUR DAY.

And ten minutes for bathroom time.

1889:  EFREM ZIMBALIST SR. IS BORN.

Seventy seven Sunset...oh, wait....his father.

1910:  MARK TWAIN DIES.

And so does Samuel Clemens.

1918:  GERMAN FIGHTER ACE MANFRED VON RICHTHOFEN, BETTER KNOWN AS "THE RED BARON," IS SHOT DOWN IN FRANCE.

Snoopy?

1926:  QUEEN ELIZABETH II IS BORN.

You may have heard of her.

1934:  THE "SURGEON'S PHOTOGRAPH," THE MOST FAMOUS PHOTO ALLEGEDLY SHOWING THE LOCH NESS MONSTER, IS PUBLISHED.   IT IS LATER KNOWN TO BE A HOAX.

Like the pictures that show Elvis living in New Mexico with Marilyn Monroe.

1949:  ACTRESS PATTI LUPONE IS BORN.

We're not crying for you.

1951:  ACTOR TONY DANZA IS BORN.

Older than I thought he was.

1952:  SECRETARY'S DAY IS FIRST CELEBRATED.

When does it change to "Administrative Assistant Day?"

1957:  PITCHER JESSE OROSCO IS BORN.

And 29 years later...

1962:  THE SEATTLE WORLD'S FAIR OPENS.

Probably in the rain.

1965:  THE NEW YORK WORLD'S FAIR OPENS FOR ITS SECOND SEASON.

Remember when World's Fairs were a big deal?

1975:  SOUTH VIETNAM PRESIDENT NGUYEN VAN THIEU FLEES SAIGON AS THE CITY BEGINS TO FALL.

Well, that was a waste of time.

1977:  GUMMO MARX DIES.

Lower than even Zeppo on the totem pole.

1977:  "ANNIE" OPENS ON BROADWAY.

Arf.

1982:  BASEBALL PITCHER ROLLIE FINGERS OF THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS BECOMES THE FIRST PITCHER TO RECORD 300 SAVES.

220 of them without a moustache.

1989:  TIANANMEN SQUARE PROTESTS --- 100, 000 STUDENTS GATHER IN A POLITICAL RALLY.

Any excuse to skip French class.

1992:  BASEBALL PLAYER JOC PEDERSON IS BORN.

The Dodgers will miss him.

1999:  ACTOR BUDDY ROGERS DIES.

Now he really has wings.

2012:  TWO TRAINS ARE INVOLVED IN A HEAD-ON COLLISION NEAR AMSTERDAM, INJURING 116 PEOPLE.

And a few heads probably came off.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chicken.

Your Winning Oscar Ballot - Part 1

 

I know.  I must be kidding.

Every year on this blog, I have performed the public service of providing you with your winning Oscar ballot for that pesky office pool.  Well, here in 2021, I am following tradition.

Despite the fact that there are probably few office pools because there are a lot less offices.

Despite the fact that nobody really gives a shit about the Oscars anymore.

Despite the fact that nobody has heard of 90% of the films nominated.

Despite the fact that I pretty much slept through most of the Best Picture nominations.

But I can still prognosticate the winners because it's so damn easy.   Oscars are not awarded for film excellence any more.   They are honored for diverse themes or political statements.   I've gotten even more brazen about the Academy Awards ever since a friend at my church gave me the inside scoop that winning votes are often ignored when the Academy higher ups want to show how "woke" they are.

So, with all those disclaimers, here's my thoughts on all the early awards that nobody gives a shit about.   Starting with...

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT:  If you didn't see any feature films this past year, who the hell ventured out to see live action shorts.   The winner is THE LETTER ROOM.  Why?  Who knows?

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT:  Okay, here's one of those categories that you can point to the winner just by the title.   The more diverse, the better.  The winner is A LOVE SONG FOR LATASHA.  Do I have to explain?

BEST ANIMATED SHORT:  Some times, I need to do a little digging on these nominees.   One of these films is about the grief of two parents whose child was killed in a school shooting.  Bang.  The winner is IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, I LOVE YOU.   Gone are the days when Bugs Bunny took home an Oscar.

BEST SONG:  I've heard of none of them.   The winner is something called "Speak Now" from ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI.  Why?  Because I saw the movie and don't even remember there was a song in it.

BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM:  I guess it's now offensive to use the word "foreign."  The winner is ANOTHER ROUND, only because the title is two words I can get behind.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:  I thought it was just okay, but the winner is SOUL.  Because Pixar Lives Matter.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE:  Sadly, the only documentary I saw last year that was truly brilliant was Ron Howard's "Rebuilding Paradise" and it wasn't even nominated.  The winner is MY OCTOPUS TEACHER, which was about some guy who spent a year with an octopus.   That must have gotten a lot of ink.   N'yuk. n'yuk.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS:  The overrated Christopher Nolan had the bad fortune of a big blockbuster coming out in the middle of COVID.  I heard it stunk, but the effects were decent.  The winner is TENET.

BEST SCORE:  Actually, it was the Dodgers in Game Six of the 2020 World Series.  Oh, you mean music?  The winner is SOUL because, again, Pixar Lives Matter.

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN:  I slept through large chunks of it, but, for its depiction of Hollywood in the 30s, the winner is MANK.

BEST MAKE-UP AND HAIR STYLING:  Boy, they sure did make Viola Davis look hideous but apparently that's how ugly Ma Rainey really was.  The winner is MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN:  And, despite that sheer grotesque face, she sure did dress fancy.  The winner is MA RAINEY'S BLACK BOTTOM.

BEST SOUND:  Now here's an Oscar I can get behind because I really thought it was an excellent use of sound.    This movie really made me feel like my hearing was compromised like the lead character.  The winner is SOUND OF METAL.

BEST FILM EDITING:  And they also made the lead character look like he was going deaf.  The winner is SOUND OF METAL.

If you care, come back on Thursday for all the big jewelry.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chicken Valdostana

Monday Morning Video Laugh - April 19, 2021

 Another fun video from Oliver the Beagle.

Dinner last night:  Chicken Valdostana

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The End?

 

Having worked with a bunch of actors on a project over Zoom the last few months, I finally had the opportunity to see one of them in person for dinner last week.  A 22-year-old actor from Virginia who had the misfortune of moving to Los Angeles last September.  In the middle of a pandemic where virtually everything was shut down.   Whoops.

He's a talented kid who should do well and I am happy to give him his very first IMDB credit.   But he's still a newbie as far as Southern California goes.   He is still exploring the city and the coast.   But, over burgers, he lamented something that he would miss.

He always wanted to see a movie at the Cinerama Dome.

Tear forming in Len's eye.

The news broke last week that the venerable Cinerama Dome and adjoining Arclight Hollywood theaters would not be re-opening.   Indeed, Arclight is shutting down all 300 screens in the United States as the parent company, Pacific Theaters, does the same.

To quote my writing partner's pet phrase, "we are never allowed to have nice things."

As a movie buff, there was/is no better place to see a big blockbuster than the Dome.   That's where you go for the latest Spielberg flick or the newest Star Wars chapter.   Wrapping the image of the film around the audience, there is no experience like it on earth.

Now the Dome first opened in November, 1963.  Its first night was the world premiere of the classic "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."   As a matter of fact, the movie's director, Stanley Kramer, supposedly helped design the auditorium.

While over the years it was the hot spot for first run fare, the Dome always celebrated its roots by showing some of the classics as well.   I saw "Giant" there.  I saw "How The West Was Won" there.   I saw "Lawrence of Arabia" there and you could literally count every grain of sand.

They did movies and they did them right.

In 2002, the parking lot behind the Dome was turned into what would become the first Arclight multiplex.   With its enormous airport terminal-like lobby and accompanying restaurant with surprisingly good food.   They elevated movie-going to an art form.

The ushers would announce the films.   They would run maybe two or three trailers and no more.  (Take that, AMC)  The reserved seats were comfy.   Plus it catered to a real Hollywood crowd.   Over the years, I saw the likes of Teri Hatcher and Pierce Brosnan and Richard Chamberlain there, along with countless other supporting players whose faces were always more remembered than their names.

And, even better, the Arclight made their own caramel corn.   To die for.  This is why the Arclight Hollywood became my primary cinematic destination for the last twenty years.

The Dome, I believe, has some sort of landmark status.   My fear is that the folks at Scientology will turn it into some kind of cathedral.  My hope is that some film maker with big pockets takes over the whole property and keeps it going as it should.  A place where movie memories are made and continued.

I truly hope that my young actor friend gets to visit the Arclight and, specifically, the Cinerama Dome at least once.

Dinner last night: Pasta with sausage and broccoli rabe. 

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - April 2021

Thirty years ago this month, this show was in its heyday.   Actually, a spec script my partner and I did for it got us into a Writer's Guild workshop.   Now, in 2021, it is being rebooted...with an all-Black cast.

 

Dinner last night:  Grilled Gruyere cheese with bacon from Clementine's.

It's A Sign

 

Dinner last night:  Antipasto salad.

Clank

 

Surprise, surprise.   The Oscars are showing up on April 25.   In past years, I would follow all the nominees with great fervor.   This year, I didn't know they had announced the nominations until two days later.   Such is the world of post-COVID.

The other reason why I am ignored the Oscars this year is because of the generally depressing nature of most of the movies that came in 2020.   One is sadder and more dour than the last.   And we haven't even seen the pandemic-themed films hit the screen again.

Ugh.

Now I have caught up to a few of the nominees and "Sound of Metal" is one of them.  Again.  Sad.  Depressing.   Dour. But there were some things to like in this film, most notably the performance of Riz Ahmed as a third-rate rock band drummer Ruben Stone who suddenly and inexplicably loses his hearing.   He had been traveling around in a RV with his leading singer/girlfriend.   But when doctors tell him further playing will kill off any remaining ability to hear, she urges him to seek help in a community where no one hears.   

Ultimately, he wants to pay the 80,000 dollars for aural transplants so he works to sell his RV and win back his career and girlfriend.  But, this is Hollywood 2020-2021 so happy endings are sort of hard to come by.

Now, there are Oscar nominations embedded here, most notably for Best Picture and Best Actor.  In most Oscar seasons, Ahmed would be the sure winner here but, of course, he's not Black nor did he die of colon cancer in the past year or so.  But bleak as "Sound of Metal" is, you cannot walk away from it without marveling in the lead performance.

But what should be a hands down Oscar win here is this film's nomination for Best Sound.   All throughout, the film makers work hard to have you hear what Ruben is hearing.   From the faint noise to the mechanically altered sounds post-transplant.   They really make you feel and experience what the character is feeling and experiencing.   Indeed, for my money, it's the best part of this movie and worth a look from your perch on the post-quarantine couch.

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Prime rib sandwich at Marmalade Cafe.

This Date in History - April 14

 

Happy birthday to Brad Garrett.  People love you, too.

43 BC:  MARK ANTONY DEFEATS THE FORCES OF THE CONSUL PANSA BUT IS THEN IMMEDIATELY DEFEATED BY ANOTHER ARMY.

I never paid attention in World History class.

1434:  THE FOUNDATION STONE OF NANTES CATHEDRAL IS LAID.

Lucky foundation stone.

1561:  A CELESTIAL PHENOMENON IS REPORTED OVER NUREMBERG, DESCRIBED AS AN AERIAL BATTLE.

Or maybe it's what they always see in Roswell, New Mexico.

1865:  US PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN IS SHOT IN FORD'S THEATER BY JOHN WILKES BOOTH.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?

1865:  US SECRETARY OF STATE WILLIAM SEWARD AND HIS FAMILY ARE ATTACKED AT HOME.

And people thought January 6, 2021 was a big deal.

1894:  THE FIRST EVER COMMERCIAL MOVIE THEATER OPENS IN NEW YORK, USING A DEVICE FOR PEEP-SHOW VIEWINGS OF FILMS.

This had to be in Times Square.

1912:  THE BRITISH PASSENGER LINER TITANIC HITS AN ICEBERG AND SINKS.

I said....turn left.

1918:  ACTRESS MARY HEALY IS BORN.

With her husband Peter Lind Hayes, these are two people on television all the time with no discernible talent.

1925:  ACTOR ROD STEIGER IS BORN.

Years before he called Sidney Poitier "Mr. Tibbs."

1932:  COUNTRY SINGER LORETTA LYNN IS BORN.

Her father was a coal miner.  Or so the movie said.

1939:  "THE GRAPES OF WRATH" BY JOHN STEINBECK IS PUBLISHED.

When are the Cliff Notes available?

1941:  BASEBALL STAR PETE ROSE IS BORN.

What are the odds?

1941:  DURING WORLD WAR II, GERMAN GENERAL ERWIN ROMMEL ATTACKS TOBRUK.

Sure, you're a big deal now.

1958:  THE SOVIET SATELLITE SPUTNIK 2 FALLS FROM ORBIT AFTER 162 DAYS.  THIS WAS THE FIRST SPACECRAFT TO CARRY A LIVING ANIMAL, A DOG NAMED LAIKA, WHO LIKELY LIVED ONLY A FEW HOURS.

Yes, animals were harmed during this procedure.

1960:  ACTOR BRAD GARRETT IS BORN.

"Everybody Loves Raymond" is one of my top five sitcoms of all time.

1966:  BASEBALL PITCHER GREG MADDUX IS BORN.

Lucky to see him briefly in a Dodger uniform.

1975:  ACTOR FREDRIC MARCH DIES.

Yes, those were the best years of your life.

1986:  THE HEAVIEST HAILSTONES EVER RECORDED OCCUR IN BANGLADESH.

Why does everything bad happen there?

1995:  SINGER BURL IVES DIES.

Holly jolly this.

1999:  ACTRESS ELLEN CORBY DIES.

Good night, Grandma.

1999:  SINGER ANTHONY NEWLEY DIES.

The world stopped.  Get off!!!

1999:  A SEVERE HAILSTORM STRIKES SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA.

Yeah, but Bangladesh still has the record.

2007:  SINGER DON HO DIES.

Tiny bubbles....popped.

2012:  ACTOR JONATHAN FRID DIES.

How dark are those shadows now?

Dinner last night:  Leftover tortellini.

The Sights And....Well, No Sounds...of a Baseball Game

I am proud to say that America's long nightmare is over.

Len got to go back to a baseball stadium.   Actually, twice.   I was at the Dodger opener when they got their World Series rings on Friday.   And then, on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon, it was just plain good baseball.   Clayton Kershaw versus Max Scherzer.   With a cozy COVID-limited crowd of 15,000.   

For most of us, this was the first time we would get to see the 120 million dollar renovation to Dodger Stadium.  Remember that?   We were supposed to see that in April 2020.   A year later, it finally became a reality to most of us.

The glory of the renovation is that you now can walk completely around the stadium.  All the stands and levels are connected with ramps and elevators.   In some cases, this was the first time I have seen the stadium from the bleacher seats.

Here's a quick pictorial view of an average baseball Sunday.

My first time ever sitting in a bleacher seat.  Not a bad view.   This was an hour before game time, so most of the 15,000 were elsewhere.

The center field gate is now the front door to the stadium so that's where all the new stuff is situated.   Like this Shake Shack which will likely be open when there are more fans and money to be made.

There's a brand new studio out there which is where the SNLA pre-game and
post-game shows will emanate.

And there's, of course, a Dodger blue fire truck.   Hey, why not?

And, of course, a new Dunkin' Donuts outlet.   Because you can't wait to have a cup of coffee with a barbecued sausage.

This team has waited a long time to hang some World Champions signage.  And right next to it is one of three new elevator banks in the stadium.

In the distant outreaches of the parking lot, you can see COVID-19 vaccine stations still up.   That's where I got my two shots of Moderna.

The lines to the men's room are going to take a little longer for a while as we practice socially distanced peeing.

This is the first time I literally stood right next to the batter's eye in center field.

They really control the pod seating.  Most seats are cordoned off by that heavy duty plastic strapping.   

But that allows you to stretch out comfortably.   Here I am covering two whole rows from my temporary seats on the first base line.  As you can see, the press box is also not immune to distancing.

Was this an ideal baseball Sunday?  No.  Only about a third of the concession stands are open.  Only a few souvenir stores are open.   You have to buy everything with a credit card.   Hot dog condiments are in those rip-apart packets.  And it looks particularly feeble when a wave goes through a stadium with so many empty sections.  Kiss Cam has been replaced by Mask Cam.   And the simple act of donning that thing has gotten very stale.

But it will all be back before you know it.  At least we have it in some shape or form right now.

And, by the way, there wasn't a cardboard cutout to be found.

Dinner last night:  Chicken and prosciutto tortellini.