The Back to School Photo Album

Is that smell me?

It's the first day of school and he's already constipated.

Woody Harrelson, age 6.

Didn't get that rifle he wanted.

Mom should does love those eyebrow tweezers.

"My teacher's not wearing any underwear."

I think I was right the first time.

How quickly was his head shoved down a toilet?

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.
 

And Just Like That...

 

The reboot was over.   Sex was no longer in the city.   And, frankly, they should have stopped while they were ahead.

As a big fan of Sarah Jessica Parker, I did grow to enjoy the HBO series from about 25 years ago.   And I sort of liked the movies that were spawned from it.   

When the reboot was announced about five years ago, I was skeptical but signed on nonetheless.  Almost immediately, I was met by a bunch of plot lines that seemed to want to repel fans at a geometric rate.

First off, there was no Samantha as played by Kim Cattrall.   Instead she was replaced in the galpal circle by two Black women and an Indian real estate agent played by Sarita Choudhury.   I mention her name only because I once talked to her at a Christmas Eve about 30 years ago.   

But I digress.   Just suffice it to say that the reboot was looking pointlessly crowded.   

And to make matter worse, the now married Carrie watched her husband, the infamous Mr. Big, drop dead on a Peloton in the very second episode.   I needed to remind myself that this was supposed to be a comedy.

But there were more goofy changes.   Charlotte, as played by Kristin Davis, suddenly became dumber than ever.  Miranda, now played by the now-lesbian Cynthia Nixon, was also now a bisexual as they apparently were looking for a reason to get Nixon on set on time.

Inexplicably, the reboot meandered around HBO Max for about three seasons until somebody finally told somebody that it never worked in the first place.  Grasping at straws, they tried to solve their problems by setting up Carrie back with former love Aidan.   And then they broke that up because it wasn't working.  At one point, they killed off a minor supporting character.   Despite the fact that they had already done it a season earlier.

  

Yeppers, none of it ever worked or made sense.   Miraculously, I watched every episode.  But even my super fandom of SJP couldn't help.   Why was I watching this?   And how much longer do I have to?

As of last week, HBO called the governor and I have been pardoned.   Woo boy.   

Life improved immediately.   Just like that...

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

This Date in History - August 20

 

Happy birthday, Don King.  I looked for the funniest picture of him I could find.  There were way too many choices.

14:  AGRIPPA POSTUMUS, ADOPTED SON OF THE LATE ROMAN EMPEROR AUGUSTUS, IS EXECUTED BY HIS GUARDS.

Postumus was now posthumous.

914: TSAR SIMEON I OF BULGARIA DECISIVELY DEFEATS A BYZANTINE ARMY DURING THE BATTLE OF ACHELOOS.

Gesundheit.

984:  POPE JOHN XIV DIES.

It's one of those killer dates if you're a Pope.

1308:  POPE CLEMENT V PARDONS JACQUES DE MOLAY, THE LAST GRAND MASTER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR.

Was one of those Knights Templar named Simon?

1519:  PHILOSOPHER AND GENERAL WANG YANGMING DEFEATS ZHU CHENHAO, ENDING THE PRINCE OF NING REBELLION AGAINST THE REIGN OF THE MING DYNASTY EMPEROR ZHENGDE. 

Now that's a mouthful.

1707:  THE FIRST SIEGE OF PENSACOLA COMES TO END WITH THE FAILURE OF THE BRITISH TO CAPTURE PENSACOLA, FLORIDA.

So, as consolation, they went after a six pack of Pepsi Cola.

1775:  THE SPANISH ESTABLISH THE PRESIDIO SAN AUGUSTIN DEL TUCSON IN THE TOWN THAT BECAME TUCSON, ARIZONA.

Clever.  How did they think of that?

1823:  POPE PIUS VII DIES.

Also a killer days for Popes named Pius.

1866:  PRESIDENT ANDREW JOHNSON FORMALLY DECLARES THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR OVER.

Extra points if he stuck his tongue out at the time.

1882:  TCHAIKOVSKY'S 1812 OVERTURE DEBUTS IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA. 

Just the Overture?  Where's the rest of the show?

1910:  THE GREAT FIRE OF 1910 OCCURS IN NORTHEAST WASHINGTON, NORTHERN IDAHO, AND WESTERN MONTANA.

Smokey the Bear warned you.

1914:  DURING WORLD WAR I, GERMAN FORCES OCCUPY BRUSSELS.

Dying for a plate of sprouts.

1914:  POPE PIUS X DIES.

Which means that, in less than a century, there were two other Popes named Pius.

1918:  AUTHOR JACQUELINE SUSANN IS BORN.

If she was an only child, once was definitely enough.

1920:  THE FIRST COMMERCIAL RADIO STATION, 8MK, BEGINS OPERATIONS IN DETROIT.

News, weather, and traffic on the hour.

1926:  JAPAN'S PUBLIC BROADCASTING COMPANY, NIPPON HOSO KYOKAI, IS ESTABLISHED.

First children's show was the Erectric Company.

1931:  BOXING PROMOTER DON KING IS BORN.

I wonder how much hair he had then.

1938:  LOU GEHRIG HITS HIS 23RD CAREER GRAND SLAM---A RECORD THAY STOOD FOR 75 YEARS UNTIL IT WAS BROKEN BY ALEX RODRIGUEZ.

Except Gehrig never had to pee in a cup.

1940:  BRITISH PRIME MINISTER WINSTON CHURCHILL MAKES THE FOURTH OF HIS FAMOUS WARTIME SPEECHES, CONTAINING THE LINE "NEVER WAS SO MUCH OWED BY SO MANY TO SO FEW."  

Of course, he immediately added, "can I get a cup of tea, please?"

1942:  MUSICIAN ISAAC HAYES IS BORN.

Talkin' about Shaft.

1946:  JOURNALIST CONNIE CHUNG IS BORN.

Mrs. Maury Povich to you.

1950:  UNITED NATIONS REPEL AN OFFENSIVE BY NORTH KOREAN DIVISIONS ATTEMPTING TO CROSS THE NAKTONG RIVER AND ASSAULT THE CITY OF TAEGU.

Doctors in war-torn Korea.  I smell a movie.  Maybe even a TV series.

1954:  TV PERSONALITY AL ROKER IS BORN.

I'm reminded again by Winston Churchill's comment.  "Never has so much attention been wasted on so little a talent."

1968:  SOVIET UNION DOMINATED-WARSAW PACT TROOPS INVANDE CZECHOSLOVAKIA, CRUSHING THE PRAGUE SPRING. 

Prague Spring?   In August???

1975:  NASA LAUNCHES THE VIKING I PLANETARY PROBE TOWARD MARS.

What makes them think that Mars wanted to be probed at all?

1977:  NASA LAUNCHES THE VOYAGER 2 SPACECRAFT.

So, I guess that, if you're working at NASA in the late 70s, you're getting a lot of overtime.

1988:  DURING THE IRAN-IRAQ WAR, A CEASEFIRE IS AGREED AFTER ALMOST EIGHT YEARS OF WAR.

I always giggle when I see the word "ceasefire" pertaining to the Middle East.

1991:  MORE THAN 100,000 PEOPLE RALLY OUTSIDE THE SOVIET UNION'S PARLIAMENT BUILDING PROTESTING THE COUP AIMED AT DEPOSING PRESIDENT MIKHAIL GORBACHEV.

"Mr. Gorbachev, we're tearing you down next."

1998:  THE UNITED STATES LAUNCHES CRUISE MISSILE ATTACKS AGAINST ALLEGED AL-QAEDA CAMPS IN AFGHANISTAN.

Even way back then.

2007:  BUSINESSWOMAN LEONA HELMSLEY DIES.

So there is now a vacancy.

2012:  COMEDIENNE PHYLLIS DILLER DIES.

Fitting that this happens on Don King's birthday.

2017:  COMIC JERRY LEWIS DIES.

I have a sense that he was immediately in an argument with God.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chili.

How Do You Measure Mobility?

 

Or, as the title of the play goes..."The Loneliness of the Short Distance Walker."

The visual up above will be explained in a few paragraphs.

My closest of friends know that I have had limited mobility since...God knows...the first day of gym class in senior year of high school.   Something tore and the rip was audible.   Of course, back then, my parents didn't know what an orthopedist was...let alone how to spell it.   If you had any sort of ailment, you went to the family doctor whose course of treatment was an Ace bandage and some Tylenol.

Over the many decades, my right knee was serviceable but grew progressively worse.  But I learned to live with it via cortisone shots and the occasional arthroscopic surgery to "clean things up."   It was never fixed completely.  Doctors would simply scoop up whatever fragments were in there.

About thirteen years ago, I tore my left leg meniscus coming out of a Broadway theater.   So now my compromise was at least evened out.   I was limping on both sides.

All of this screwed up my left hip and ultimately I had to deal with a surgeon for the ultimate repair.   And that brings up to the last two years when I have been in perma-recovery from two knee replacements and one hip replacement.

So everything is fine now, right?  Um, not really.

After the hip was repaired, my first steps gave me an odd sensation.   Was one leg shorter than the other?

Yes, said my surgeon and he told it was a common by-product that would "solve itself over time."

When I mentioned that to Justin, my superb physical therapist, his response was telling.

"No, it won't."  

After waiting a month or two to see if my surgeon was joshing me, Justin did a measurement.   And, yes, indeedy, my longtime right knee problem was 7/8 of an inch shorter.  That's not a fraction you want to have.   That disparity is major.  It was a watershed moment in my life.

And led to several weeks of having lifts built into my sneakers and shoes.   Frankly, it's the first time I've been to see a shoe repair man in my life, except for my best bud Leo's uncle who had a shop on White Plains Road in the Bronx.  Luckily, I found a similar Italian guy in Westwood Village and he, too, did Jesus-like work.

For the first time in my life, I am walking straight.   Not fast, but straight.   And all it cost was ninety dollars per shoe.

For me...priceless.

Dinner last night:  Chili.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 18, 2025

 The TV blooper parade continues.   And even the great Lucille Ball was not immune to a flub or two.  Watch how Desi covers for her.

Dinner last night:  Italian sandwich.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Acting Up

 

Here's an ugly little secret.   I always wanted to be an actor.   And on the stage as you see in this photo of me at the Hollywood Bowl, several years and fifty pounds more ago.  

This all came to light again for me a few years ago as I have been dealing with some agents for a little thing we do.   You'll learn more about it soon.   But, for bizarre reasons, we found ourselves three weeks prior to the event and without a male lead.  Both actors we had previously cast in what is essentially a volunteer production booked work.   The joke became "if you're an actor and you associate with Len, you will immediately get an acting gig...elsewhere."

So, we immediately put out the word to the rest of our cast for a very specific type.

"33-36, male, JFK Jr. type."

I was inundated within a day.   I had more headshots in my house than Errol Flynn.  As I looked at practically every good looking 34-year-old in Hollywood, I thought about this world which I, from time to time, thought about pursuing.   How tough it can be.   How difficult it must feel to be rejected when 500 people show up for the same single role.   I know that actors must develop a strong constitution and not take things personally.

Suddenly, I was glad I wasn't one of them.   

We narrowed our choice to three actors.   To break the tie, we had them read lines for us.  And then I realized my next horror.

I was going to have to tell two of them that they weren't picked.

Yep, suddenly, those acting classes I took for a semester in New York didn't seem like such a good idea.  I had dreamed once of a bucket list item---participating in a community theater production of a musical comedy.  

Nah, no more.  Indeed, my single experience as an actor will have to do.   Way back in the fifth grade.   And even that was horrific.

My fifth grade French class was putting on a performance of "Le Petit Chapeau Rouge." That's "Little Red Riding Hood" for the non-Jerry Lewis fans in the reading audience. Because I had one of the top three grades in the class, I was a shoo-in for a role. 

So was this rather chunky girl who would become essentially "Le Petit Chapeau Rouge Tres Grosse." The third role went to another guy.

The teacher saw me in the lead. 

The wolf. 

And, in retrospect, I should have relished that. I now envision all the great things I could have done with the part. Perhaps a little Paul Lynde inflection. Maybe Snidley Whiplash. As long as it was spoken in French, I had carte blanche....another French expression.

Until I read the script.

At the end of the show, the woodsman arrives to save Le Petit Chapeau Rouge Tress Grosse by embedding an axe into the wolf's head. As Le Lobo falls dead, the entire cast sings a song over the animal's body and dances merrily around the carcass.

Huh?

In my fifth grade egotistical mind, I was uncomfortably frosted by the ending. Sure it was true to the story. But, if I had developed such a likeable and funny rendition of the Wolf, couldn't he be simply caught? That way, even with paws tied, I could be around for the grand finale. I provided my notes to the teacher, who was unimpressed. Actually freakin' angry.

"Who do you think you are, young man?"

I pushed it. Pretty much providing her with a rewrite of the last scene. 

Unknown to me, this was her own script which she had used year in and year out for the past decade.

"You will not change a word, young man. Do you want to be the wolf or not?"

Stupidly, I said "no." I was asked to trade roles with the kid playing the woodsman, who turned out to be a delicious scream as the Wolf.

Yes, I was alive for the end as I bulldozed the chubby heroine around the stage in triumphant song. But, the teacher refused to speak to me the rest of the year. Luckily, it was May and we didn't have much longer to go.

At the end of the school term, I still wound up with an "A+" in French. Merci beaucoup.

That was my farewell performance on stage.   And, with what I know and see now, that's a good thing.   I salute actors all over the world.   I'm grateful for the ones that I am getting to work with.  Your world is a lot tougher than even I could imagine.

Yeah, I'll just write the words to put in their mouths.

Dinner last night:   Chicken sausage and broccoli salad.

Classic TV Theme of the Month - August 2025

 Forty years ago, this was beginning its second season.  RIP, Malcolm Jamal-Warner.  Too bad your show doesn't get rerun any more.   Thanks to your scumbag TV dad.

Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just some ice cream.

When Summer Photos Were King

 

Take your child on an amusement park ride and suddenly she's starring in "The Exorcist Part 4."

Cooking instructions:  Take one child.  Wrap in tin foil.  Bake at 350 degrees till crisp.

The annual meeting of the Clint Howard Fan Club.

What happens when Mom fogets to fill those Christmas stockings.

"Here, use this."

Johnny's favorite piece of the birthday cake is the breast.

What happens when you don't pay attention to the cooking instructions I listed above.

"Here comes Grandma.  And, er, there goes Grandma."

Reminds me of what my own grandmother would say when she caught me doing this.

"Are you digging for gold?"

The acorn really fell far from the family tree.

Dinner last night:   Cheese and crackers. 

Chomp

 

I saw this advertisement for a documentary celebrating the 50th Anniversary of "Jaws" and my immediate reaction was...

I'll bite.

Yep, something I could really sink my teeth into.  

Okay, I'll stop.

"Jaws" lands at the eighth spot on my list of My Top 25 Favorite Movies of All Time.  I still remember the day a bunch of us kids saw it.   Opening day in 1975 at this very claustrophobic theater on Fordham Road in the Bronx.   The perfect way to have the walls and the screen close in on us.

Subsequently, I've gotten to see the movie several times when it runs on a big screen.  It's fun to watch former kids taking their children to see it for the first time.   They don't know what the first big scary moment is and it's lots of screams when they all realize they need a bigger boat.

This documentary is terrific.  Oh, sure, I know all the behind-the-scenes stuff already e.g., the shark is named Bruce and it never worked.  But, somehow, this compendium seemed to include a lot of new footage and information.  Plus I learned that the shark hanging in the new Academy Museum is the real thing.

Just watch this documentary.   It will give you plenty of trivia to chew on.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Pork potstickers and spicy noodles.

This Date in History - August 13

 

Happy birthday in Heaven to Pat Harrington Jr..   A fellow Fordham graduate.

3114 BC:  THE MESOAMERICAN LONG COUNT CALENDAR, USED BY THE MAYANS, BEGINS.

That's a long, long, long time ago. 

523:  JOHN I BECOMES THE NEW POPE AFTER THE DEATH OF POPE HORMISDAS.

Pope Horm, for short.

554:  EMPEROR JUSTINIAN I REWARDS LIBERIUS FOR HIS LONG AND DISTINGUISHED SERVICE IN THE PRAGMATIC SANCTION, GRANTING HIM EXTENSIVE ESTATES IN ITALY.

So we'll be seeing him flip those estates on HGTV?

582:  MAURICE BECOMES EMPEROR OF THE EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE.

Maurice?  Is that the guy in the Pompatus of Love?

1099:  POPE PASCHAL II SUCCEEDS POPE URBAN II AS THE 160TH POPE.

Urban was the first Pope named after a radio format.

1532:  THE DUCHY OF BRITTANY IS ABSORBED INTO THE KINGDOM OF FRANCE.

France is apparently super absorbent.

1624:  THE FRENCH KING LOUIS XIII APPOINTS CARDINAL RICHILIEU AS PRIME MINISTER.

I guess Cardinal Stan Musial wasn't available.

1792:  THE CONVENTION OF LONDON, A TREATY BETWEEN THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THE UNITED PROVINCES, IS SIGNED IN LONDON.

Where else would you sign the Convention of London?

1831:  NAT TURNER SEES A SOLAR ECLIPSE, WHICH HE BELIEVES IS A SIGN FROM GOD.  EIGHT DAYS LATER, HE AND 70 OTHER SLAVES KILL 55 WHITES IN VIRGINIA.

I don't see God said exactly that.

1860:  TARGET SHOOTER ANNIE OAKLEY IS BORN.

Because Father Oakley was an even sharper shooter.

1895:  ACTOR BERT LAHR IS BORN.

I am the King of the Forest.

1899:  DIRECTOR ALFRED HITCHCOCK IS BORN.

Good evening.

1906:  THE ALL BLACK INFANTRYMEN OF THE US ARMY'S 25TH INFANTRY REGIMENT ARE ACCUSED OF KILLING A WHITE BARTENDER.

Another sign from God?

1918:  WOMEN ENLIST IN THE US MARINE CORPS FOR THE FIRST TIME. 

Shazam, Sarge.  I just saw me a lady in the shower.

1918:  BMW IS ESTABLISHED AS A PUBLIC COMPANY IN GERMANY.

Beemer.

1926:  CUBAN LEADER FIDEL CASTRO IS BORN.

It would be cliché if they handed out cigars.

1929:  ACTOR PAT HARRINGTON JR. IS BORN.

I introduced myself to him once at a Fordham Alumni party but it was only to see if he had Valerie Bertinelli's number.

1930:  MUSICIAN DON HO IS BORN.

Tiny bubbles.

1942:  WALT DISNEY'S "BAMBI" PREMIERES.

Watch out for forest fires.

1946:  AUTHOR HG WELLS DIES.

Now he's really invisible.

1961:  EAST GERMANY CLOSES THE BORDER BETWEEN THE EASTERN AND WESTERN SECTORS OF BERLIN.

This is the wall that Gorbachev later tore down.

1964:  PETER ALLEN AND GWYNNE EVANS ARE HANGED FOR THE MURDER OF JOHN ALAN WEST BECOMING THE LAST PEOPLE EXECUTED IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.

Not the Peter Allen who was "married" to Liza Minnelli. 

1969:  THE APOLLO 11 ASTRONAUTS ARE RELEASED FROM A THREE-WEEK QUARANTINE TO ENJOY A TICKER TAPE PARADE IN NEW YORK.

Hello?  Three weeks in quarantine?  Do you know the germs you can find on today's regular jetliner?

1995:  BASEBALL STAR MICKEY MANTLE DIES.

So, I assume the 60 day disabled list?

2004:  HURRICANE CHARLEY STRIKES FLORIDA.

As if hurricanes are a new invention.

2004:  CHEF JULIA CHILD DIES.

Béchamel that.

2007:  BASEBALL STAR PHIL RIZZUTO DIES.

Holy Cow.

2010:  AUTHOR EDWIN NEWMAN DIES.

Or kicks the bucket.  Relatively speaking.

2012:  AUTHOR HELEN GURLEY BROWN DIES.

Magazine subscription expired.

2024:  COOKIE MOGUL WALLY AMOS DIES.

And Andy weeps.

Dinner last night:  Italian salad.

AI FU

 

Ah, yes.  The new drug on the market.  AI.  A world where cabs have no driver.  Food delivery is done by a robotic cart.   And backgrounds in movies can include a cast of thousands, but not a single human being.

Think this is great?   Well, it is innovative.   But it didn't take long for a nice thing to go bad like week-old Kung Pao in your refrigerator.  Because the social media bot are now controlling those sites.  And fucking with our brains royally.

I'm sure you've seen the increase on your Facebook pages.   News pops up to tell us a celebrity has died.   Except they haven't.   But AI creates a story that you want to click on because, after all, you were a fan of that celebrity.   You click to see.  And now they got you!

I saw this happening months ago and generally will not click on any of this bullshit.   But, a few weeks back, even I got suckered in.

Some FB sports page was asking for prayers for Sandy Koufax.   At death's door.  There was even a photo of seemingly comatose Sandy in a hospital gown.   Now I figured this was bullshit.

But then if I began to wonder.  Several days later, the Dodgers' Clayton Kershaw was set to start a home game where he would most likely reach 3000 career strikeouts.   Now Sandy, who is a good friend and mentor to Kershaw, usually shows up at such monumental occasions and applauds from the owners' box.

But, for this, Sandy didn't show.   So I bought in and clicked in for the tear jerking tale of Sandy's ultimate demise.

Except a week later I was watching the Baseball Hall of Fame 2025 induction ceremony and guess who was in the front row looking hale and hearty.

Now don't I feel stupid?

Yes, folks, AI is here.   And our world is just a little bit worse.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chicken tenders.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 11, 2025

 TV Blooper month continues with this collection from "The Odd Couple."

Dinner last night: Coconut chicken tenders.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Mobility Takes a Holiday

 

I generally don't like roller coasters.   But, then again, aren't all our lives really roller coasters themselves?  The exhilarating highs.  The swooping lows.  Who hasn't been there?

I got a taste of this very early on when I was ten years old.  I have previously written here  about the euphoria of July 24.  My first ever trip to a baseball game as a genuine fan.  As I walked out of soggy Shea Stadium, I thought that a summer couldn't get better than this.

I was on the top of the roller coaster.  I couldn't see the drop in front of me. About a week later.

In what would become a lifelong career of having eventually both my legs compromised, I wound up with what every kid fears in the middle of the summer.  The inability to go out and play with your friends.

I will never forget the pain.  I was "up the block" and playing with my buddies.   Probably something inane with a ball being thrown at something or somebody. I was in front of my childhood best friend Leo's house.  Back then and probably still now, the sidewalk in front of your home had a metal plate where heating oil got loaded for the winter.  I tripped on the metal plate and suddenly my body and my ankle were going in two different directions.

Ouch.  Shut the front door!  Or whatever would be the equivalent saying for a ten-year-old in extreme pain.  

Here comes the roller coaster down that first big drop.

I hobbled home and barely got into the first floor kitchen of my grandmother. My ankle was already the size of a volley ball.  Of course, with no one else home at the time, she was the sole medical advice at hand.   And, naturally, Grandma's remedy for every ailment was the same.

"I'll go get my witch hazel."

Ah, yes, Dickinson's Witch Hazel.   I just looked the stuff up and the company is still around.  It's supposed to be for skin care, but my grandmother used it for everything.  If you had anything wrong, witch hazel would be applied.  I think it also was used to take paint off the garage door.

The witch hazel, in this case, did zero.

We waited for my mom to come home from work.  

"Your ankle is sprained."

Duh.

Of course, I was already well past the age of my kiddie physician, Dr. Fiegoli.  I had already graduated to the adult practice of one Dr. Weisberg, who had the same remedy for whatever it was that was ailing you.   And it wasn't witch hazel.

"Apply an Ace bandage and take aspirin."

Dr. Weisberg would have tried to treat President Kennedy with the same tools if he had been in the emergency room of Parkland Hospital.

So, with all this expert medical expertise, I was doomed.   And stuck in the house.  I remember wistfully sitting in my grandmother's living room.  In her rocking chair with my aching right foot elevated.  Every move either made me cry out in anguish.  Or made the ice pack drop to the floor in a spot where I could not reach it.  

The floor fan blew breezes at me but I was not happy.  The rocking chair was right beside Grandma's big living room window.   And I could see all my friends scampering from here to there.   Ding-a-ling-a-ling.  Oh, great, they're all running for the Good Humor truck.

It was the longest two weeks of my life to date.  My glorious entry into Shea Stadium was now just a faded memory.

At last, my ankle was deemed okay.  I could actually step on it.  And my family had probably run out of ice packs.   I was destined to make my return to the neighborhood for the rest of what was now August.

I remember heading through Grandma's kitchen for the back door.   And, suddenly, it happened.

Ping.

Uh oh, here comes another big drop.

At the time, my mouth was full of braces.  I looked like the front of a Buick Skylark.  And one of those metal rods which was anchored in the back of my mouth had gotten loose.  As a result, a metal wire was now lodged in the inside wall of my cheek.

Ouch.  What the French toast?  Or whatever would be the equivalent saying for a ten-year-old in extreme pain.  

"You can't go outside and play with that!"

Duh.

Of course, the call to my orthodontist, Dr. Arthur Ashe Not The Tennis Player (that's how he actually billed himself), was unsuccessful.

"Dr. Ashe is on vacation and won't return to the office until September..."

The date was immaterial.   Summer had crashed around me.

We had to wait for my dad to come home for the resolution.

"Come out to the garage with me."

It was there with a small pair of pliers that my father inserted into my mouth and cut the errant brace.  The pain was gone, but my teeth for the next two weeks looked like the braces had been put on by a guy wearing an eye patch.   I could now walk again but I looked ridiculous.

Before I knew it, school was back in session.   And I had just that night of July 24 as my one cool summer memory.

Every roller coaster ride does eventually end. But, as we all learn over time, the next rise and drop is always just around the bend.

Dinner last night:  Stomach flu so nothing.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - August 2025

 Victory at hand...eighty years ago.

Dinner last night:  Caramel popcorn at the movies.

Your Kodak Vacation

 

More of the sad parade that is called Life. Take, for instance, this bunch up north. Mom hasn't quite figured how to correctly apply that fake suntan lotion.

Yeah, kid, I hear you. Birthdays suck.

So, Granny, are they real?

Will somebody please call the ASPCA about what this guy is doing to that dog?

Hey, Mom, how about a blink?

I'd give ten bucks to the first person who yells "timber."

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Oh, yeah, and a new family."

Don't fuck with Grandma.

Dinner last night: Had a big lunch so just some ice cream.

Moron of the Month - August 2025

 

This is Victoria Parks, some city council person in Cincinnati.   Sounds innocent?  Nah.

She is a moron.   

I'll s'plain.  

A couple of weeks ago, there were riots in the riverfront section of downtown Cincinnati.

Yeah, I know.  Cincinnati.   

I've actually been there for a day trip a decade or so ago and that area of town was so lovely and homespun.   But then what wasn't about a decade or so ago?

I have no idea what was the root of this fight, except I hear there were racial slurs galore.

Most of the rioters were Black and the two main victims were White and battered to a pulp.

I hate to sound blase about any of this, but this is what America has become.  And is tolerated given the lax rules about arrest and incarceration.

Enter the beeyatch above with the bad David Bowie hairdo.   She is a representative of the city and should be doing her darndest to calm the masses.

Except she immediately took the side of the rioters and the beaters.   She said we didn't know the full story of what really happened and that the two White victims are...well...racists.

Okay, Madame Scumbag, it's time you realized that racism is a two way street. Because, lo and behold, it's not always one side who professes hatred.   Indeed, I would venture to estimate that, on a head count, there are more Black people who are racists than there are the other side.

But, to shitheads like Victoria Parks, there is only one side of the story.   Instead of using her office to fan flames, she should be working in the community to see that hatred...of all colors...is irradicated.

Except there's no upside in that.    One more time, America swirls around the toilet bowl of society.  

And I really liked Cincinnati.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

This Date in History - August 6

 

How do you not salute Lucy on this, her birthday?   It's also a bad day to be Pope.  You will see what I mean.

258:  POPE SIXTUS II DIES.

One.

523:  POPE HORMISDAS DIES.

Two.

1284:  THE REPUBLIC OF PISA IS DEFEATED IN THE BATTLE OF MELORIA BY THE REPUBLIC OF GENOA.

So, People of Pisa, which side are you leaning to?

1458:  POPE CALLIXTUS III DIES.

Three.

1777:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, THE BLOODY BATTLE OF ORISKANY PREVENTS AMERICAN RELIEF OF THE SIEGE OF FORT STANWIX.

Stanwix?  Barbara?

1787:  SIXTY PROOF SHEETS OF THE US CONSTITUTION ARE DELIVERED TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION.

Who's got a red pen?

1806:  FRANCIS II, THE LAST HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, ABDICATES ENDING THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE.

It lasted a lot longer than Vegas thought.

1819:  NORWICH UNIVERSITY IS FOUNDED IN VERMONT AS THE FIRST PRIVATE MILITARY SCHOOL IN THE US.

Ten-shun.

1845:  THE RUSSIAN GEOGRAPHICAL SOCIETY IS FOUNDED.

So now we know what magazines are hanging around dentists' offices in Moscow.

1870:  DURING THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR, THE BATTLE OF SPICHEREN IS FOUGHT, RESULTING IN A PRUSSIAN VICTORY.

Who was the winning Prussian pitcher?

1870:  DURING THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR, THE BATTLE OF WORTH RESULTS IN A PRUSSIAN VICTORY.

Ah, a day-night doubleheader.

1881:  GOSSIP COLUMNIST LOUELLA PARSONS IS BORN.

Do tell.

1890:  AT AUBURN PRISON IN NEW YORK, MURDERED WILLIAM KEMMLER BECOMES THE FIRST PERSON TO BE EXECUTED BY ELECTRIC CHAIR.

The more, the merrier.

1911:  ACTRESS LUCILLE BALL IS BORN.

This should be a national holiday.

1912:  THE BULL MOOSE PARTY MEETS AT THE CHICAGO COLISEUM.

Bullwinkle gets in for free.

1914:  SERBIA DECLARES WAR ON GERMANY.  AUSTRIA DECLARES WAR ON RUSSIA.

World War II, here we come.

1917:  ACTOR ROBERT MITCHUM IS BORN.

Celebrate his birthday.  Have some beef.

1926:  GERTRUDE EDERLE BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO SWIM ACROSS THE ENGLISH CHANNEL.

Grease is the word.

1928:  ARTIST ANDY WARHOL IS BORN.

Celebrate his birthday.  Have some Campbell's Soup.

1930:  JUDGE JOSEPH CRATER STEPS INTO A NY TAXI AND IS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

As if this has happened again since?

1938:  ACTOR/DIRECTOR PETER BONERZ IS BORN.

Met him once.  Saw him twice later at the Egyptian Theater and the Hollywood Bowl.

1942:  QUEEN WILHELMINA OF THE NETHERLANDS BECOMES THE FIRST REIGNING QUEEN TO ADDRESS A JOINT SESSION OF THE US CONGRESS.

So, Eleanor Roosevelt doesn't count?

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, IN HIROSHIMA, THE ATOMIC BOMB IS DROPPED BY ENOLA GAY.

Sayonara.

1946:  BASEBALL STAR TONY LAZZARI DIES.

Ciao.

1956:  AFTER GOING BANKRUPT, THE DUMONT TELEVISION NETWORK HAS ITS FINAL BROADCAST.

In 2014, it would have had a life as Direct TV Channel 437.

1959:  DIRECTOR PRESTON STURGES DIES.

Genius.  Buried in the same cemetery with my parents.

1962:  JAMAICA BECOMES INDEPENDENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.

More importantly, you can change there for the Long Island Railroad.

1964:  PROMETHEUS, THE WORLD'S OLDEST TREE, IS CUT DOWN.

And dogs across the world weep.

1965:  US PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON SIGNS THE VOTING RIGHTS ACT OF 1965 INTO LAW.

When can we repeal?

1078:  POPE PAUL VI DIES.

Four.  Told ya.

1988: THE TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK RIOT IN NYC SPURS A REFORM OF THE NYPD, HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EVENT.

Unfortunately, it took a terrorist attack 13 years later to make people respect the cops again. 

1991:  JOURNALIST HARRY REASONER DIES.

-30-.

2009:  DIRECTOR JOHN HUGHES DIES.

Another excuse for Ferris Bueller to take the day off.

2012:  COMPOSER MARVIN HAMLISCH DIES.

The way he was.

Dinner last night:  Japanese hot dog at Dodger Stadium.