With sincerest apologies to Billy Joel...and anybody else I might offend today.
---No city looks better in black and white than New York City. Except, as you walk the streets, the homeless bums are still appearing in color.
---Meanwhile, back at LAX before I left, there was this page over the loudspeaker.
---"Captain Kirk, Captain James Kirk, please report to Gate 48B."
---You can't make that shit up. Who knew that the Enterprise made stops into Los Angeles?
---American Airlines is now exclusively showing NBC programs in-flight.
---And I don't watch them there either.
---And they worry about bombs on-board?
---NY is all abuzz over the court trials that will happen here for the 9/11 terrorist pigs.
---But these will be not military, but civilian trials. Because, apparently, the terrorists were also doubleparked at the time of the attacks.
---One more idiotic decision from President Urkel.
---That's sort of like capturing Adolf Hitler alive and having appear before Judge Judy.
---Well, it finally happened. I tuned into Saturday Night Live and I had absolutely no clue who the host was.
---January Jones. Some chick from "Mad Men." I had no idea.
---When they introduced "January Jones," I expected to see Pam Grier come out in hot pants with a big old Afro.
---Does anybody still watch this mess? They talk about Bernie Madoff. Let's think about all the money Lorne Michaels has stolen from NBC while producing this disaster the past twenty years.
---A memo to Sarah Palin: I don't care.
---Oh, I think she gets a bum rap from the morons on the left. But, if she really thinks she could be a national leader....
---But, then again....
---This is the country that elected a city councilman to be President of the United States.
---A memo to Levi Johnston: I don't care.
---The next time this guy cries for some privacy, remind him that we can all see his business in Playgirl.
---Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are going to co-host the Oscars. Well, they got that emcee selection half right.
---Because nobody screams "hilarity" to me more than that bloated pig of a Baldwin.
---Someone refresh me: wasn't Alec supposed to move out of the country four years ago?
---Now there's somebody I would like to see on House Hunters International.
---A memo to Megan Fox: I don't care.
---Who the hell is she anyway?
---I'm always bemused when I use Moviefone.com in New York. Because, when I put in the Yonkers zip code to look for the nearest movie theater, I wind up with cinemas in New Jersey.
---True, the theaters are the closest in terms of miles. But, there's just one problem.
---I'D HAVE TO WALK ACROSS THE HUDSON RIVER TO GET THERE!
---So, actually, the only one who really benefits by using Moviefone.com is Jesus Christ.
---TV stations are doing it both in Los Angeles and New York. Telling viewers to take videos and pictures with their mobile devices when they see news happening.
---"Be part of our news team" says one station.
---Uh-huh. That's a great way of saying that, "we've downsized to the barest bone and have no ability to cover news in this city, so you have to help us and, by the way, there's no pay involved."
---Or something like that.
Dinner last night: Virginia ham sandwich with German potato salad.
1 comment:
I'll defend Alec Baldwin only for his performance on 30 Rock. This former movie star, whose weight and tirades are inexcusable, has real comedy chops and gets his show in my Netflix queue. His scenes with Elaine Stritch--his TV Mom--are a pleasure to watch, two old pros bashing it out.
Why listen to an actor's political views? I'd rather scratch my ass.
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