Another flight for me and another peak for you through some of the oddest junks every pictured in a catalog. Christmas is coming and you should be praying that none of this winds up under your tree. By the way, artificial ones of all colors are also available from Sky Mall.
A real honest-to-goodness taser. These are legal for sale? No shit? I want one for each room of my house.
Can't make it to Seventh Avenue in Manhattan? No worries. High cholesterol and artery cloggers can now be delivered in a nifty gift set from the Carnegie Deli. Nothing say "I love you" more than a fatty pastrami sandwich.
This is labeled as an "authentic Irish shillelagh." And, with this, you do what? Perhaps throw it right back at the asshole who gave it to you. Frankly, unless you frequent some bar on the corner of Bainbridge and 203rd Street in the Bronx, who will be impressed by this?
Here's a dandy. An oxygen bar. When the simple air around you just isn't enough. There's a special sepia-colored version for those who live in Southern California.
An assortment of bottle corks with your favorite reindeer characters. Here's a word of caution: if you've used them up all to the way to Blitzen, you might have a serious drinking problem.
This captivates me in so many ways. A head massager. Place it on your head and it does all the work. And answers to the name of "Helga." Happy endings not included.
Dinner last night: Chicken cobb salad on American Flight 2457 from Dallas.
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