My Year at the Movies...Or How I Wasted a Lot of Time and Money in 2010

Well, everybody else ends the year by making a list.  Why not I? 

I have decided to compile a list of every film I went out to see in 2010.  I'm talking new releases, not classic films that usually get my attention.  Last week, I went out to see "Ben-Hur" at the Egyptian.  I'm not including it in this entry, nor am I going to mention the pictured-above "Sex and The City" which came out several years ago.  You get the idea.  If it's a new release and I saw it in a theater, it will be recognized below.  Has this gotten way too confusing for you?

So, here goes.  In order of my attendance:

Gigante:  To do this, I obviously started a written list.  This was the first one I wrote down.  The only problem is that I have no recollection of what this was.  A foreign movie?  I can't even find it on IMDB.  Was this part of my 2010 New Year's Day haze?

Up In The Air:  Okay, this is more like it.  I originally saw this in 2009, but loved it and paid some greenbacks to see it again.  My favorite of 2009.  And probably 2010.

Crazy Heart:  Jeff Bridges' Oscar turn and well deserved.  Are there any country singers who don't drink to excess?

Avatar:  I was off for MLK Day and my power went out so I needed a place to go for a few hours.  That's the only reason why I went to see this overhyped mess. 

A Single Man:  I was in Oscar mode trying to see all the nominees.  Colin Firth was impressive as a suicidal gay guy.  He was even better later in the year as the stammering King George and he will win the Oscar for that performance.

The White Ribbon:  Still chasing Oscar nominees and this was supposed to win for Best Foreign Film.  It didn't.  All about some German town and the sinister Lutherans who ran it.  I'm proud to know that my religion, too, can show some warts.

Valentine's Day:  One of those ensemble comedy films with about two dozen related or maybe unrelated stories with a gaggle of big names, none of whom have more than two lines.  Somehow, director Garry Marshall managed this traffic jam.  I liked it.  So, sue me.

Brooklyn's Finest:  More dirty cops in the NYPD.  About as original an idea as putting milk on Rice Krispies.

The Ghost Writer:  Pierce Brosnan and Djinn From the Bronx who will see anything he does.  Usually dragging me along for comic relief.

Hot Tub Time Machine:  1986 is now nostalgia.  I can remember it like yesterday.  Except, it was almost 25 years ago.  I enjoyed this raunchy comedy, but would have enjoyed a few jokes at Bill Buckner's expense.

Waking Sleeping Beauty:  A marvelous documentary on how Walt Disney's animation division re-invented themselves in the 80s and 90s.  So good that I bought the DVD and have watched it again.

Oceans:  One of those digital 3-D documentaries that made you look at fish for 90 minutes.  I'm trying to remember how and why I ended up there.  Perhaps this was a hostage situation.

City Island:  A dysfunctional family drama set on that strange oasis in the Bronx.  Years ago, my family used to go to City Island a lot.  Except we weren't dysfunctional.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Yes, we were.  I'm meandering off-point.  Probably because the movie wasn't very memorable.

Please Give:  An underrated independent comedy about a dysfunctional family in Manhattan.  My family didn't go to Manhattan a lot.  But we still were dysfunctional.  Don't believe any denials I previously made.  I'm menadering off-point again because the movie, while decent, didn't last long in my mental crevices.

Iron Man 2:  Should have stopped at Iron Man 1.

Sex and the City 2:  Should have stopped at Sex and the City: The TV Show.

Joan Rivers - A Piece of Work:  This might have been my favorite documentary of 2010.  It might also be one of my favorite overall movies of 2010.  A compelling and candid snapshot of Miss Rivers.  She certainly let us see all the warts.  And some of the liver spots.

Solitary Man:  Michael Douglas as some creep trying to reconnect with his family.  This may have been a documentary.  Okay, it's not cool to kick a guy when he's down.  But, throat cancer aside, I've heard that he's a real shithead.

Toy Story 3:  Much darker than the first two.  Did anybody else make the same holocaust connotations that I did?  That said, this franchise never gets old and is always a highlight whenever a new edition is released.

Restrepo:  A documentary detailing the aftermath of more military screw-ups in Afghanistan.  Or was that Iraq?  Or was that Vietnam?  Or was that Valley Forge?  Obviously, history repeats itself.  And repeats itself.  And repeats itself.

The Kids Are All Right:  There's so much Oscar buzz around this movie that I'm convinced the Academy has been rendered deaf and dumb like Jane Wyman in "Johnny Belinda."  This is not the worst movie I saw in 2010, but pretty damn close.

Inception:  More mystery accolades thrown at this bloated mess of a movie.  Nothing more than a video game with a script.  Oh, what am I saying?  There was no script.  A true piece of crap.  This is not the worst movie I saw in 2010, but pretty damn close.  Please stop Christopher Nolan before he directs again.

The Tillman Story:  The military has screwed up even one more time.  A documentary about the cover-up of this football star's death in battle.  A riveting story albeit one that shows you only one side of the tale.

The Switch:  Who knew?  A horrible idea that sort of worked.  Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, some mishaps with sperm, and, amazingly, a movie with some insight and heart.

Flipped:  Rob Reiner's latest coming-of-age saga was ignored by moviegoers, but not me.  There was nothing new here, but the soundtrack was dynamite and singlehandedly elevates the movie to one of my favorites of the year.

Going the Distance:  So, I like Drew Barrymore.  Is that such a crime?  Well, the way she looks in this mis-conceived concoction, maybe she should be outlawed.

The Town:  One more good thing about Ben Affleck directing?  Maybe he'll act less.  This movie is not as good as the reviews made it out to be.  It's overwrought and overdone.  I'm guessing that the film critics gave it a hall pass, since they were stunned that Ben could do anything that was even remotely coherent.

Waiting for Superman:  An evenly-written documentary about problems in our public school systems.  Surprised?  Anybody?  What is amazing is that the filmmakers took such an unbiased look at the reasons why schools are so fucked up.  And, guess what??  It's not all George W. Bush's fault.

Secretariat:  The movie did nothing at the box office, but I'm a sucker for a film about a horse.  Might have gotten a bigger audience if they had the stallion actually talk.

The Social Network:  Loved it and now I hate Facebook even more.

My Dog Tulip:  It's amazing what I will go see when it rains.  How did I wind up at this British cartoon about some mutt?  Anybody????

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger:  # 14 if you are compiling a list of reasons why Woody Allen needs to retire.

Hereafter:  Clint Eastwood knows how to tell a story.  Even if it is a dull one.  The best part of the movie was in the first ten minutes when he recreates that South Seas tsunami from several years back.  The most realistic special effects in years.  James Cameron and Christopher Nolan, please take note.

Winston Churchill - Walking with Destiny:  Can I pass up a documentary on WWII?  Apparently not.

Morning Glory:  This died at the box office, too.  You expected big explosive comedy from a movie featuring Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton.  But, everything comes off like a sparkler during a rainstorm.  Harrison actually appears to be angry at appearing in the film.  I don't blame him.

Jews and Baseball:  For about two minutes, you heard Vin Scully on the soundtrack.  That automatically gets Oscar buzz from me.  Can I pass up a documentary on baseball?  Apparently not.

Love and Other Drugs:  The advance word was that the sex in this film was so hot, hot, hot.  Frankly, I saw more heat in our college dorms.  And there was nothing going on there either.

The King's Speech:  This is the early favorite to win all the big Oscar awards in February.  A fascinating story about how Norm Crosby became the King of England.  Or something like that.  One of my more exhilerating film experiences of the year.

All Good Things:  Ryan Gosling as that murderous millionaire.  The movie was okay, but I forgot all about it by the time my car key went into the ignition.

Casino Jack:  Kevin Spacey chewing up the scenery as crooked DC lobbyist Jack Abramoff.  Jon Lovitz is hilarious in a supporting role. 

Little Fockers:  Documented here just the other day and, yes, this might be the worst movie I saw in 2010.  Scroll back to Tuesday, my puppies, and read why.

The Fighter:  Way, way overwritten yarn about a couple of Massachusetts boxers.  Christian Bale is being touted for the Supporting Actor Oscar, but, buyer, be aware.  During the closing credits, you actually hear from the real guy he is portraying.  You'll see that Bale is not acting, but mimicking.  I am officially sick-to-death of people cursing with Boston accents. 

How Do You Know:  It is hard to believe that James L. Brooks, creator of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and director of "Terms of Endearment" and "Broadcast News," put together this Three Mile Island of a movie.  Horrible and sad, all at the same time.

Somewhere:  Sofia Coppola continues to try and direct films.  The good news is that she has given up trying to act in films.  A self-centered actor bonds with his young daughter for a couple of weeks.  Before you think that this is a Disney film with Fred MacMurray and Hayley Mills, Sofia has a very, very dark outlook on life.  And apparently an axe to grind when it comes to movie audiences.  A 90 minute commercial for Hollywood's Chateau Marmont Hotel.  And mental illness.

As I compiled this list, I got very sad.  There are few gems here.  And, from the looks of the five dozen or so trailers I saw in the past month, 2011 promises us another bucketful of cinematic shit.

And still...I will be plunking down my debit card at the box office.  We never learn.

Dinner last night:  Ham sandwich with cucumber salad.