Easy. Because when you watch the hysteria around us, you realize that's exactly where this beloved holiday is headed. On the express route. In a Target shopping cart.
I had the television on Thanksgiving Day and I was appalled by the onslaught of commercials enticing idiots like the ones shown above. Who's open at 4AM? Who's open on Thanksgiving Day? Who's got a doorbuster sale till 1PM when three flatscreen TVs are available for less than a 50% mark-up? It's madness.
Take a gander at these shitheads who needed to be the first ones through the door.
Any ethnic or racial generalizations you would like to make from the above video is not only warranted but encouraged by yours truly. One would argue that these are the folks who most need to avail themselves of major sale prices. You know, with the rotten economy and all. Still, it doesn't make this kind of behavior any more charming. Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gents.
Watching this shopping bag mob rule is utterly nauseating and has effectively ruined the Christmas celebration. It's tough enough when you feel obligations to "reward" folks you don't even know until they show up at holiday time with their palms outstretched. The postal worker who frequently reads your weekly Entertainment Weekly in the truck before delivering it to your mailbox. The newspaper delivery guy who can't seem to get out of bed when there's an eye dropper full of rain water on the street. And, oh...there's now a fifty dollar limit for your office Secret Santa, because, frankly, twenty five bucks doesn't cut it anymore.
Black Fridays are now followed by Cyber Mondays where the media convinces us we should be shopping for all of the above on the internet. A wonderful way to celebrate the magic of gift giving. And an even better way for computer hackers to wind up with the debit card number of their choice and certainly not yours.
Polar Express Conductor, what is the next stop I can get off?
Wait, there's more...
There was one local television station last week who aired the ungodly story relating which retailers have the best return policies. You know what I mean. Those stores that will take back merchandise with no questions asked regardless of whether you bought them on-line or in the store. This prompts even more fresh hell for anybody who actually works at a major retail outlet. You have the assholes who bought clothes on-line and now run back to the store for a cash refund. They don't fit? Well, that's what you get, Stupid, for buying something that you didn't try on first. And, let's face facts. It's high time you accepted the notion that you no longer can fit into "medium" or "large." Those days were ten Krispy Kreme donuts ago.
You wonder why retailers have it so hard these days? These policies are a disaster. And they promote even worse behavior from their customer base.
Not ashamed to profile one more time, let's talk about some of the rich Persian women of Encino. They buy clothes, shoes, and handbags and wear the hell out of them. Then, they poke a hole in them, say it's damaged, and return it to the store for a full refund. So, gang, it's official. It is now okay to rent or borrow clothing from your local department store. Who's worse? The masterminds who make the rules or these ditch pigs who figured how to bend them.
But, wait, there's even more....
I am still shocked to hear that the Trader Joe's food store chain also has a "full refund, no questions asked" policy. Not ashamed to profile even one more time, let's talk about some members of the Russian community in Los Angeles. They buy food from Trader Joe's, then return with one half or a quarter of it. They say it's bad and get their money back. Where is the other half to three-quarters? Firmly nestled in their stomachs.
Meanwhile, these folks wouldn't dare attempt such despicable behavior in their own homelands where such actions would get them shot on sight. But, in America, it is the land of the free. And home of the incredibly stupid.
It is getting harder and harder to weather all of this, especially during the Christmas season. From the media frenzy to the thefts to the unsightly behavior to the complete vacuum of what Christmas is all about. I've become Linus and I am sucking on my blanket. When did it all go sour?
I'll make my small stand this year. There may be one or two gifts for dear friends, but little else. Perhaps it's two tickets to a concert or a show and you get the other one, my pal.
But, to everybody else, you have my fondest wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And, if that verbal present doesn't exactly fit, I'm sorry. You're obviously not my size anymore.
Dinner last night: Chicken and pesto with linguine.
2 comments:
Retailers better wake up and smell the con artists. They need to get real and end their insane return policies. I mean you, Trader Joe's. Foreigners are fleecing stores every day, and what was reported in today's blog is the tip of a very ugly iceberg.
Who's paying for these scammers? You and me, the consumers who aren't running these cheap grifts.
And while we're at it, close the border. Thank you.
We stopped doing Christmas presents years ago -- the kids were older, we spent enough on them during the other 364 days of the year, and my wife and I rarely need anything we can't buy ourselves.
I love Christmas. But the over-commercialization is enough to make anyone gag. People buying stuff they don't need with money they don't have (and expect others to give them) isn't my idea of what's buried underneath everything -- is the reason we actually celebrate the holiday: the birth of Christ.
For Christmas, find a charity you believe in and donate. Even better: Keep doing it during the year.
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