Chocolate Milk and Other Horrors

Okay, it's been years since I downed a glass of chocolate milk.  But, when I was a kid, this was a real treat.  Sometimes, you could get it in a plastic container from the grocery store.  Or you simply made it yourself.  A couple of spoonfuls of Bosco into a glass.  Or a pump or two from the Cocoa Marsh dispenser.  Bingo, bango, instant chocolate refreshment.

As an adult, I have looked at the calorie content of chocolate milk and pretty much pushed it away from me.  But, still, it's milk, I'm no longer ten years old, and kids do need a treat from time to time.

Except it was recently revealed that some school systems have now banned it from their cafeterias.  Sorry, kids, you're too fat.  Go expand your waists elsewhere.

What????

Now that you've rolled that around your noggin, try this one on for size.  There are some schools in the increasingly brain-dead metropolis of Chicago that are now prohibiting kids from bringing bagged lunches from home.

What????

I guess the thinking is that the school cafeterias can do a much better job than Mom or Dad when it comes to giving their youngsters a noontime meal.  Okay, I don't know who's dishing out the slop in the Chicago schools, but I remember what passed for lunch at Mount Vernon High School.  And it usually passed right through me.  There was one edible item on the menu.  Friday pizza.  How can you fuck up frozen pizza?  Miraculously, the ladies with the hairnets at MVHS didn't.  But, on most days, I had my brown bag.  Taylor ham with mustard on a roll.  And I grew up just fine.

Wait, guys, there's more.

This dumbbell of a mayor in Boston had to get into the act.  He's banned all sugar-based soft drinks from any city property.  Soda, punch, sports drinks?  Good luck finding them in selected areas of Beantown.  Of course, he did negotiate a special deal with the Boston Red Sox so baseball fans can still buy a soda at Fenway Park.

What the hell is going on??????

Trust me, I'm the first one to admit that America is woefully out of shape.  Let's face it, the Midwest in this country is just one big XXL pair of sweatpants.  But, still, shouldn't the policing be done at home?  What happened to self control?  Where is the parental responsibility?  What is wrong with any of these pictures?

A lot of this is a direct by-product of the desperatate need for First-Lady Michelle Obama to have something to do with her days.  All Presidential wives have to adopt a cause.  Lady Bird Johnson cleaning up garbage on the side of Route 80.   Nancy Reagan showing on "Diff'rent Strokes" to tell kids not to smoke weed.  Laura Bush yakking it up about the reading skills of children.  With Mrs. Obama, there was a fervent desire to give her a cause that was so benign that she couldn't possibly screw it up.    Wow, the eating habits of children.  How hard could that be for her?

Um, pretty hard.   She screwed it up anyway. 

Thanks but no thanks for the guidance and teachable moments, folks.  I personally know what I can eat and what I shouldn't eat.  And, if I do, so do my friends with children.  And, for those who don't have the time to give guidance to their young'ins, well, them thar is the breaks.  If you take your kid to McDonald's three times a week, you shouldn't be surprised when they grow up to look like Rosie O'Donnell the day after Thanksgiving dinner.

But, at least, they should be allowed the choice.  You can have normal children.  Or they can be supersized.  But it should totally up to you.

When does the insanity stop?  To quote a good friend of mine...

"The only one who can tell me what to eat is my mother.  And she's dead."

Dinner last night:  Smoked sausage with salad.