Morons of the Month - February 2012

It's Valentine's Day, but no love from me today.  Nope, I'm considering morons.

I found this month's nominees indirectly.  On your average drug-and-toiletry run at a CVS in Santa Monica. 

Here's how it played out.   I don't usually shop in Santa Monica, but there happened to be a parking space right in front of the drugstore and I made an impulsive choice.  I ambled up and down the aisles, filling my little red basket with such items as shampoo, shaving cream, and the like.

I proceeded to the checkout stand and laid all my items out onto the counter.  Probably about forty dollars worth of merchandise.  I was in robotic mode so the clerk's question didn't faze me at all.

"Would you like to purchase a bag for ten cents?"

Huh?

I figured this was for one of those recyclable sacks that the super markets are shoving down our throat.  I haven't gotten one from Ralph's.  I certainly have no need for one at CVS.  I respectfully declined.

Monetary transaction complete, the clerk stared at me.  I stared down at the Crew Shampoo and the Sensor Excel blades.  Two seconds quickly became ten seconds of silence.  I asked what happens now.

"Well, you didn't buy a bag...."

And how do I get my stuff to the car?  If I begin to walk out, do you think the toiletries will hop off the counter and follow me like puppy dogs? 

"You did want to pay ten cents for a bag..."

Oh.  Not understanding at all, I pulled out a dollar.  Can I revisit the bag purchase?

"Sorry, I already closed you out.  I can't do that."

Reluctantly, she gave me a small paper bag.  Free.  Many kudos for the generosity, CVS.

Finally carrying my goods in a proper way, I began to wonder just what happened here.  When I got home, I simply Googled "Santa Monica plastic bags."   The results were plentiful.

Welcome to the lunacy of the Santa Monica City Council, whose lemmings are pictured below.

More dummies who are getting their jollies by enacting bizarro regulations to impose on the innocent citizen.  All, once again, in the name of ecology.

Yes, indeed, they recently passed a law that prohibited the existence of plastic shopping bags anywhere in the little metropolis of Santa Monica.  And, yes, if you need some sort of vessel to carry your recently purchased wares, a dime will cover the purchase of a reusable paper bag.  And, when it stops being a bag, you can use it to make a nifty puppet.  And maybe even name it after one of these numbskulls on the Santa Monica City Council.

I looked into the rationale behind their plastic bag hatred.  Hmmm, spurred along by some environmental group called Heal the Bay.  These bags are clogging our shores, our sewers, and causing car accidents.  I raised an eyebrow with those last words.

Causing car accidents??

Well, apparently, when it gets breezy in the oceanside community of Santa Monica, plastic bags can float onto your windshield and wreck your car.  

Now I wish I had paid better attention to the newspaper reports of fender benders.  I wanted to know just how many car crashes were caused by those dreaded flying plastic bags.  Meanwhile, if plastic bags are gone from the scene, what the heck will the homeless of Santa Monica wear for shoes?  Because there are plenty of them down by the shore.

More craziness from our politicians.  Regardless of whether they are Federal or state or local, they are all the same.  Screwing up the lives of us all simply to give themselves something to talk about at monthly meetings.

I looked at the on-line bios of this motley crew sitting currently on the Santa Monica City Council.  Every single one of them has been involved in environmental activities.  Translation?  People with too much time on their hands and a desire to wield some power when, in their private lives, they probably have none.  One of the nabobs has the last name of Shriver and there's likely no mystery how he got involved in this group.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all for the environment.  I recycle.  I want clean air.  I want running water.  It doesn't even have to be clean as I use a Brita filter anyway.  

But, realistically, most environmental groups of kooks can stop right there with their regulations.  Most of them are nothing more than excuses to run up more revenue for their balliwicks of bullshit.  

I guess I should be happy about this ruling.  Knowing that I can safely drive through Santa Monica without my car being attacked unceremoniously by a plastic bag from CVS.

Dinner last night:  Pork loin with sweet potato fries.