My Predictions for This Year's Oscars - Part 1

It's that time of year again. Fire up the office pools.  NCAA Brackets time? Nah, not yet. We need to first consider the Oscars.

You might remember that this is an annual happening on this blog.  I participate in a competition every year with good friends Lorraine and Dennis back in New York.  We first try to guess the nominees in the major categories.  That's done and, at this juncture, I have 28 points.  Lorraine is at 27 points and Dennis holds up the rear with 24 points. 

Now we have to predict the winners in each and every category this Sunday night in an effort to add to our respective totals.  On the line is a dinner hosted by the two losers for the winner. 

So, if you're looking to win in your own personal Oscar pool, you might want to consider my guesses.  Today we tackle all the lesser awards.  That's where the surprises happen.  And there's no better place to start than...

LIVE ACTION SHORT:  As opposed to Dead Action Short.  Lorraine and Dennis actually go to see all these things.  Me?  I guess from the titles and pick anything that looks even remotely tied to A) the Holocaust or B) Black oppression.  I'm not seeing a thing this year.  I'm going for THE SHORE.  Why?  It's about Ireland.  That would be Handwringing Topic D.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT:  Now, even though I haven't seen any of the nominees, my heart would normally go to "God is the Bigger Elvis," which is all about former actress Dolores Hart who left the business to become a nun ages ago.  She's even going to show up at the ceremony.  But, I read there's another one about Pakistani women recovering from acid attacks.  Damn, that sort of drama beats the Vespers any day.  The winner will be SAVING FACE.

ANIMATED SHORT FILM:  Why don't they call it what it really is?  A freakin' cartoon!  I'm not seeing any Bugs Bunny titles amongst the nominees.  In that case, always go for the Pixar offering.  The winner will be THE FANTASTIC FLYING BOOKS OF MR. MORRIS LESSMORE. 

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE:  Searching, searching for my Holocaust and/or Black oppression topics.  Wait.  There's one about three convicts in Memphis, who killed some kids.  Close enough.  The winner will be PARADISE LOST 3 - PURGATORY.  You mean there were two other documentaries before this???

SOUND MIXING:  One of those awards when, during your home Oscar bash, you use this time to put the Chinese food containers in the garbage.  I have this sense that the Academy wants to salute the dazzling technical elements of Martin Scorsese's HUGO.

SOUND EDITING:  The award when, during your home Oscar bash, you announce "Okay, anybody want anything else to drink?"  The winner again will be HUGO.

ART DIRECTION:  Why did I just tell you?  The movie was really cool to look at, even with those damn 3-D glasses which always give me a headache.  The winner again will be HUGO.

VISUAL EFFECTS:  Okay, I'm a little Hugo-ed out, aren't you?  You would think it would take this award as well.  But when your competition is a bunch of chimps running across the Golden Gate Bridge, it's hard to keep that juggernaut going.  The winner will be RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES.

MAKEUP:  It's ultimately a battle of who can put more junk on the faces of Glenn Close and Meryl Streep.  In "Albert Nobbs," they made Glenn look like a man.  I would argue that's not such a hard trick.  My winner is THE IRON LADY.

ORIGINAL SCORE:  Original?  Phooey!  We know it's not going to be on Kim Novak's ballot, but I'm thinking that most of the Academy doesn't give a shit that Ludovic Bource stole a lot of his "original" music score of THE ARTIST.

ORIGINAL SONG:  Hollywood could only muster up two nominees this year and one of them is from a Muppet movie.  Never bet against felt.  The winner will be MAN OR MUPPET FROM THE MUPPET MOVIE.

COSTUME DESIGN:  I'm sure it deserves an award for essentially raiding the armoire of Clara Bow, but the competition this year is as weak as the crotch lining in that suit you bought from Walmart.  The winner will be THE ARTIST.

FILM EDITING:  "Hugo" is up for this, but the winner of this award almost always matches up to the Best Picture victor.  And, blowing off one headline for tomorrow blog's, that will be THE ARTIST. 

ANIMATED FEATURE:  What???  No Disney???  Oh, the humanity!  I only saw one of the nominees, so that's my pick---RANGO.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:  Even though their one entry from Israel and another one about the Holocaust from Poland, I'm thinking they will bestow the olive branch to the movie offered up by Iran.  Gee, with all the shooting and rioting, they had time to make a film?  The winner will be A SEPARATION.

CINEMATOGRAPHY:  This frequently matches up with the Best Director and the Best Picture.  But, this year, I'm guessing the Academy wants to throw a bone to director Terrence Malick for his picture postcard THE TREE OF LIFE, despite the fact that it was eight hours long and shunned at the box office.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:  As much as I thought "Moneyball" was the best movie of the year with an amazing script that turned a boring book into an incredibly lyrical story, I don't get a vote.  The Academy is in love with THE DESCENDANTS, which I swear I saw five years ago on Lifetime with Joan Van Ark in the lead role.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:  As funny as "Bridesmaids" was and as fascinating as "Margin Call" was, Woody Allen's love letter to the City of Lights was his best work in years.  I recently saw it for a second time and felt like I was hearing words for the first time.  Very few movies can do that to me.  The winner will be MIDNIGHT IN PARIS.   And here's a bonus prediction.  He won't show up to get it.

Tomorrow, I tackle the biggies.

Dinner last night:  Asian chicken wings plus broccoli salad.