472: AFTER BEING BESIEGED IN ROME BY HIS OWN GENERALS, WESTERN ROMAN EMPEROR ANTHEMIUS IS CAPTURED IN THE OLD ST. PETER'S BASILICA AND PUT TO DEATH.
So much for the national Anthemius.
1346: CHARLES IV OF LUXEMBOURG IS ELECTED EMPEROR OF THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE.
Roman emperors have more churn than a butter factory.
1405: MING ADMIRAL ZHENG HE SETS SAIL TO EXPLORE THE WORLD FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Was his wife named Zheng She?
1576: MARTIN FROBISHER SIGHTS GREENLAND.
And said "big deal."
1735: MATHEMATICAL CALCULATIONS SUGGEST THAT IT IS ON THIS DAY THAT DWARF PLANET PLUTO MOVED INSIDE THE ORBIT OF NEPTUNE FOR THE LAST TIME BEFORE 1979.
Pluto? Dwarfs? You get the impression that the universe was invented by Walt Disney.
1740: JEWS ARE EXPELLED FROM LITTLE RUSSIA.
Gee, if you piss off Little Russia, what's the big country gonna do??
1750: HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA IS ALMOST COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY FIRE.
Did anybody notice?
1789: JACQUES NECKER IS DISMISSED AS FRANCE'S FINANCE MINISTER SPARKING THE STORMING OF THE BASTILLE.
Screw the job. With that name, he must have gotten a lot of girls.
1796: THE UNITED STATES TAKES POSSESSION OF DETROIT FROM GREAT BRITAIN.
Otherwise Al Kaline would have lived in London.
1798: THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS IS RE-ESTABLISHED. THEY HAD BEEN DISBANDED AFTER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR.
Oh, good, now Gomer has some place to go.
1804: A DUEL OCCURS IN WHICH VICE PRESIDENT AARON BURR MORTALLY WOUNDS FORMER SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY ALEXANDER HAMILTON.
If only we could solve our Washington DC problems like this now....
1864: DURING THE CIVIL WAR, CONFEDERATE FORCES ATTEMPT TO INVADE WASHINGTON.
Or there's another way to clean the town out.
1889: TIJUANA, MEXICO IS FOUNDED.
Just a hop over the border.
1893: THE FIRST CULTURED PEARL IS OBTAINED BY KOKICHI MIKIMOTO.
Mikimoto. I have his ears with my name on them.
1895: THE LUMIERE BROTHERS DEMONSTRATE FILM TECHNOLOGY TO SCIENTISTS.
So this is who we can blame Alec Baldwin on?
1914: BABE RUTH MAKES HIS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL DEBUT.
Boston, enjoy him while you can.
1920: ACTOR YUL BRYNNER IS BORN.
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
1921: FORMER US PRESIDENT WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT IS SWORN IS AS 10TH CHIEF JUSTICE, BECOMING THE ONLY PERSON TO EVER BE BOTH PRESIDENT AND CHIEF JUSTICE.
Obviously, Mrs. Taft was looking to get this guy out of the house.
1922: THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL OPENS.
My summer home.
1924: ACTRESS BRETT SOMERS IS BORN.
Wouldn't you have wanted to be a fly on the wall during one of her marital squabbles with Jack Klugman?
1931: ACTOR TAB HUNTER IS BORN.
If he had been a girl, his mother was going to call him "Fresca."
1936: THE TRIBOROUGH BRIDGE IN NEW YORK CITY IS OPENED TO TRAFFIC.
And immediately loaded up on it for the next 76 years.
1937: MUSICIAN GEORGE GERSHWIN DIES.
Rhapsody in Black.
1947: THE EXODUS 1947 HEADS TO PALESTINE FROM FRANCE.
Still looking for a home since Little Russia kicked them out.
1960: "TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD" BY HARPER LEE IS FIRST PUBLISHED.
Hey, Boo.....
1962: THE FIRST GAME OF THE WORLD CHESS CHAMPIONSHIP 1972 BETWEEN BOBBY FISCHER AND DEFENDING CHAMPION BORIS SPASSKY STARTS.
If Boris Spassky was gay and married Art Shamsky, he'd be Boris Spassky Shamsky.
1977: MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. IS POSTHUMOUSLY AWARDED THE PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF HONOR.
I wonder if this is part of the estate that his kids are fighting over.
1979: AMERICA'S FIRST SPACE STATION, SKYLAB, IS DESTROYED AS IT RE-ENTERS THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE OVER THE INDIAN OCEAN.
What's that up in the sky? Oh. OUCH!!!!
1989: ACTOR LAURENCE OLIVIER DIES.
Wuthering indeed.
2007: LADY BIRD JOHNSON DIES.
Give her a medal, too, for sleeping with Lyndon.
2006: 209 PEOPLE ARE KILLED IN A SERIES OF BOMB ATTACKS IN MUMBAI, INDIA.
And the city actually looked better after the blasts.
2008: SURGEON MICHAEL DEBAKEY DIES.
He had some heart.
2010: YANKEE PUBLIC ADDRESS ANNOUNCER BOB SHEPPARD DIES.
"Ladies and gentlemen, now not living for the Yankees....."
Dinner last night: The salad bar at Gelson's.
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