Aye Aye

Well, shut my blogging mouth.  Just when I thought that Hollywood had completely forgotten how to make a great action movie, they go and release "Captain Phillips," which might be the best film of this genre since the quintessential actioner "Die Hard" came out in 1988.  

Yeah, folks, for me, it's been that long.  I've always held action movies against that Bruce Willis benchmark.  A movie filled with a fun but not incomprehensible plot.  Heroes you love to cheer on.  Villains you love to hate.  And a bare minimum of special effects.  John McClain and his battle against the Euro-trash terrorists holding Nakatome Plaza (the real building is around the corner from my LA apartment) was cinematically perfect.

And, so too, almost miraculously is the new "Captain Phillips."  A true story that translates perfectly to a film ideally accompanied by an extra large tub of buttered popcorn.  With heroes you love to cheer on.   Villains you love to hate.  And, in the hyper-digital world of 2013, a minimum of special effects.  Oh, I'm sure there was probably tons of CGI but it all looked seamless to me.  And, praise the movie gods, 3-D glasses are not required.

"Captain Phillips" tells the story of...well...Captain Phillips.  Duh.  A working stiff whose career has consisted of shepherding cargo ships all over uncharted waters and delivering needed supplies to the third world slobs of this globe.  Except these pigs take it a step above and frequently like to pirate the ships themselves. The old "you give me an inch, I'll steal from you a yard" adage.  I'm sure this kind of piracy is happening every single day somewhere in the world.  We, of course, never hear about it so as not to disrupt us all from our "kumbaya" moments loving our fellow global denizens.  

Meanwhile, the first thing we learn about these cargo ships is that they must sail around amidst all this treachery practically unarmed.  Yet, gang, no guns allowed.  The most they can do is shoot some water at pirates trying to board their boats.   The world's worst scoundrels and the best ammunition available are a couple of high-power Super Soakers.

Back in 2009, Captain Phillips and his crew are indeed overtaken by a pile of excrement in the person of four idiots from Somalia.  They are as dumb as can be, but they've got rifles and real bullets trump water any day.  The result of this high seas larceny is a harrowing two days where Captain Phillips is ultimately held hostage in a lifeboat that looks like a bathtub toy from when you were five years old.  The plot sounds pretty darn simplistic, but every single moment is gripping.  The movie grabs hold of you about ten minutes in and doesn't really let go until the closing credits.  You are there in this battle of wits and nitwits every step of the way and the ride is as choppy as the one Captain Phillips himself is on.

Tom Hanks stars in the title role and, shutting my blogging mouth a second time, he is terrific.   I've never been a big fan of Hanks.  Frankly, I've always thought he's not as good as everybody thinks he is.  His Oscar-winning work in the grossly overrated "Forrest Gump" and the overly maudlin "Philadelphia" was way too pretentious for me.  You could actually see him acting.  But, here as "Captain Phillips," he shines in ways that he has never done on the screen before.  If there's indeed an Oscar nomination for this role, I'd be the first to stand and cheer.  And kudos to Mr. Hanks for having the guts to go shirtless with such a bloated and out-of-shape abdomen.  That took guts all by itself.

I have no clue who the rest of the cast is, but they're all marvelous.  The four Somali pirates are suitably disgusting and I'm now firmly convinced we need to bomb that part of the world ASAP.  But, given I now hate them so much, that must be a tribute to the four actors who indeed essayed those roles.  I can't forget either the wonderful direction throughout by Paul Greengrass, whose work I initially enjoyed with "United 93."  He puts it all up there on the screen for our sheer enjoyment. 

"Captain Phillips" is that movie rarity.  A good time at the multiplex with a gripping story and top notch performances.  We don't get that very often any more.  Hell, as far as I'm concerned, we haven't got a movie like this since 1988.

Yippee ki-yay, mother fucker. And you, too, Captain Phillips!

LEN'S RATING:   I'm on a roll.  Four stars.  Third time in a month.

Dinner last night:  Chinese chicken salad.