Recycled

As you may know, I'm a big fan of documentaries.   They give me the opportunity to learn a different slant on an old news topic.  Or to learn about something completely new on a subject which may have eluded me over time.

So I guess one of those reasons is why I went to see filmmaker Alex Gibney's "The Armstrong Lie."  I knew very little about champion cyclist Lance Armstrong except that he came out on Oprah's show last year and admitted he lied about using performance enhancing drugs.  I wanted to know more.

I saw the movie and learned little less.  As it turns out, "The Armstrong Lie" is a rather uncompelling documentary that left me...well...sleepy.  

Okay, I will be right up front.  There are two sports or activities that I completely don't understand.  Running, especially the marathon type.  There are folks who are addicted to this and I have seen all their futures.  It's crippling arthritis.

Cycling also has its devotees and I totally understand the exhilaration they must feel on some long rides on country roads over crisp fall weekends.  The bikers who love to do this on main roads and cause auto smack-ups?  Well, they can go to hell.  But, the cycling done by one Lance Armstrong is in a sport that, for our sake, stays off the streets and out of traffic.

Except it's a sport that I don't understand.  I have no clue how the Tour De France is organized.  If you're not familiar with the competitive rules of cycling, this movie is totally over your head.  As it was mine.

Truth be told, I would have a soft spot for somebody like Lance Armstrong.  He's a cancer survivor for one of the body parts that I also worried about.  Well, he had it.  I didn't.  But I can share a lot of the fears associated with testicular cancer.

Armstrong recovers from this disease and ends up winning that French bike race a whole bunch of times.  In the process, he pisses off a lot of people who eventually turn him in for doping up during those big races.

Done.  End of documentary.  Please leave the theater.  Remember to throw your soda cup into the trash can on your way out.

If you're dying to watch lots and lots and lots of footage of professional bicycle races, this is the film to see.  If you're not, the couch at home is quite comfortable and feel free to nap there instead of the theater playing "The Armstrong Lie."

You learn nothing new from this movie that you didn't already know from watching five minutes of ESPN Sportscenter.  Lance lied.  He's a total prick.  Who cares?

There are no revelations or hypotheses offered by the filmmaker.  In a film that is craving for some sort of opinion, you get none.  And, even worse, this is a documentary that is almost two hours long.  

One hour and forty-five minutes of which are spent watching people pedal all over the French countryside.  

A good documentary makes me want to learn more.  "The Armstrong Lie" made me want to know less.  And, as I drove home, I was cut off by one of those lunatics on a bicycle.

I hit the horn a little longer.  Get out of the way, stupid!

LEN'S RATING:   One star.

Dinner last night:  Pancetta and provolone panini.