1430: JOAN OF ARC IS CAPTURED BY THE BURGUNDIANS WHILE LEADING AN ARMY TO RELIEVE COMPIEGNE.
So what kind of wine goes better when you're cooking a human?
1498: GIROLAMO SAVONAROLA IS BURNED AT THE STAKE IN FLORENCE, ITALY ON THE ORDERS OF POPE ALEXANDER VI.
I'll ask the question again.
1533: THE MARRIAGE OF KING HENRY VIII TO CATHERINE OF ARGON IS DECLARED NULL AND VOID.
No community property laws in England.
1568: DUTCH REBELS LED BY LOUIS OF NASSAU, BROTHER OF WILLIAM I OF ORANGE, DEFEAT JEAN DE LIGNE AND HIS LOYALIST TROOPS IN THE BATTLE OF HEILIGERLEE, OPENING THE EIGHTY YEARS' WAR.
So this nonsense is over in 1648?
1618: THE SECOND DEFENESTRATION OF PRAGUE PRECIPITATES THE THIRTY YEARS' WAR.
So this nonsense is over in 1648, too?
1701: AFTER BEING CONVICTED OF PIRACY AND OF MURDERING WILLIAM MOORE, CAPTAIN WILLIAM KIDD IS HANGED IN LONDON.
Breaking an unofficial Hollywood rule: you don't kill off a Kidd.
1706: JOHN CHURCHILL, 1ST DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH, DEFEATS A FRENCH ARMY UNDER MARSHAL VILLEROI.
3rd Duke of Pall Mall.
1805: NAPOLEON BONAPARTE IS CROWNED KING OF ITALY WITH THE IRON CROWN OF LOMBARDY IN THE CATHEDRAL OF MILAN.
As if screwing up France wasn't enough for Shorty....
1829: ACCORDION PATENT GRANTED TO CYRILL DEMIAN IN VIENNA.
Now Myron Floren has something to do.
1844: A MERCHANT OF SHIRAZ ANNOUNCES THAT HE IS A PROPHET AND FOUNDS A RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT THAT WOULD LATER BE BRUTALLY CRUSHED BY THE PERSIAN GOVERNMENT. HE IS CONSIDERED TO BE A FORERUNNER OF THE BAHA'I FAITH.
Unfortunately, we won't be rid of this nonsense for, like ever.
1873: THE CANADIAN PARLIAMENT ESTABLISHES THE NORTH-WEST MOUNTED POLICE.
Sgt. Preston, here you come.
1910: ACTOR SCATMAN CROTHERS IS BORN.
I wonder if it really says "Scatman" on his birth certificate.
1910: BANDLEADER ARTIE SHAW IS BORN.
He made it to 94. And you thought no man could survive being married to both Lana Turner and Ava Gardner.
1911: THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY IS DEDICATED.
So am I. To doing this blog every single day.
1912: ACTOR JOHN PAYNE IS BORN.
He proved there was a Santa Claus. At least in the movies.
1919: ACTRESS BETTY GARRETT IS BORN.
That Irene Lorenzo dame!!!
1928: SINGER ROSEMARY CLOONEY IS BORN.
One of my favorites. And I met her once on my birthday!
1934: BANK ROBBERS BONNIE AND CLYDE ARE AMBUSHED AND KILLED BY POLICE.
Oh, crap, so that's how the movie ends? Spoiler alert!
1936: ACTOR CHARLES KIMBROUGH IS BORN.
Jim Dial of "Murphy Brown" fame.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, HEINRICH HIMMLER, THE HEAD OF THE SS, COMMITS SUICIDE WHILE IN ALLIED CUSTODY.
Coward's way out.
1949: THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF GERMANY IS ESTABLISHED.
Rising from the ashes already.
1958: COMEDIAN DREW CAREY IS BORN.
Now reduced to a life of Plinko games.
1967: EGYPT CLOSES THE STRAITS OF TIRAN AND BLOCKADES THE PORT OF EILAT TO ISRAELI SHIPPING.
Eighty years of war. Thirty years of war. Here comes six days that will last forever.
1975: COMEDIAN MOMS MABLEY DIES.
My mother loved her. With or without her teeth.
1981: COMEDIAN GEORGE JESSEL DIES.
My grandmother hated him. With or without her teeth.
1986: ACTOR STERLING HAYDEN DIES.
The first guy Michael knocks off in the Godfather.
1998: THE GOOD FRIDAY AGREEMENT IS ACCEPTED IN NORTHERN IRELAND WITH 75% VOTING YES.
With 25% voting against, that's hardly an agreement.
2002: GOLFER SAM SNEAD DIES.
The sand trap of eternity.
2006: POLITICIAN LLOYD BENTSEN DIES.
This idiot could have been Vice President.
2010: PITCHER JOSE LIMA DIES.
I still remember him for Game 3 of the 2004 NLDS pitching for the Dodgers. An electric performance.
2015: ACTRESS ANNE MEARA DIES.
Jerry Stiller now Meara-less.
2017: ACTOR ROGER MOORE DIES.
He lived and now let to die.
Dinner last night: Sandwich.
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