218 BC: HANNIBAL'S CARTHAGINIAN FORCES DEFEAT THOSE OF THE ROMAN REPUBLIC DURING THE SECOND PUNIC WAR.
I totally slept through the first one.
1271: KUBLAI KHAN RENAMES HIS EMPIRE "YUAN."
Yawn.
1642: ABEL TASMAN BECOMES THE FIRST EUROPEAN TO LAND IN NEW ZEALAND.
On purpose?
1655: THE WHITEHALL CONFERENCE ENDS WITH THE DETERMINATION THAT THERE WAS NO LAW PREVENTING JEWS FROM RE-ENTERING ENGLAND AFTER THE EDICT OF EXPULSION OF 1290.
Our birthday boy today would be proud.
1777: THE UNITED STATES CELEBRATES ITS FIRST THANKSGIVING, MARKING THE RECENT VICTORY BY THE AMERICANS OVER BRITISH GENERAL JOHN BURGOYNE IN OCTOBER.
In December? A little cold to blow up those helium balloons, I think.
1787: NEW JERSEY BECOMES THE THIRD STATE TO RATIFY THE US CONSTITUTION.
Ah, the Constitution. Remember that?
1878: JOHN KEHOE, THE LAST OF THE MOLLY MAGUIRES, IS EXECUTED IN PENNSYLVANIA.
The Molly Maguires? Didn't they sing in Vegas?
1878: RUSSIAN LEADER JOSEPH STALIN IS BORN.
You can still visit his entombed body. Creepy.
1886: BASEBALL STAR TY COBB IS BORN.
And immediately went 3 for 4.
1892: THE PREMIERE PERFORMANCE OF THE NUTCRACKER IN RUSSIA.
Just in time for the holidays. What a genius move.
1916: DURING WORLD WAR I, THE BATTLE OF VERDUN ENDS WHEN GERMAN FORCES UNDER CHIEF OF STAFF ERICH VON FALKENHAYN ARE DEFEATED BY THE FRENCH.
The French won??? Really????
1916: ACTRESS BETTY GRABLE IS BORN.
Nice set of pins on her.
1917: ACTOR OSSIE DAVIS IS BORN.
If he had hooked up with Harriet Tubman, we would have had one hell of a sitcom.
1917: THE RESOLUTION CONTAINING THE LANGUAGE OF THE 18TH AMENDMENT TO ENACT PROHIBITION IS PASSED BY THE US CONGRESS.
Talk about a buzzkill.
1932: THE CHICAGO BEARS DEFEAT THE PORTSMOUTH SPARTANS 9-0 IN THE FIRST EVER NFL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. BECAUSE OF A BLIZZARD, THE GAME IS MOVED FROM WRIGLEY FIELD TO CHICAGO STADIUM.
Because there was no blizzard five miles away????
1943: ROCK STAR KEITH RICHARDS IS BORN.
Starting to gather some moss.
1944: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE US AIR FORCES BOMBS HANKOW, CHINA, WHICH IS A JAPANESE SUPPLY BASE.
Holy hankow.
1946: DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG IS BORN.
We're gonna need a bigger crib.
1956: JAPAN JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.
Oh, sure. Now you want to play nice.
1963: ACTOR BRAD PITT IS BORN.
A reminder to send birthday greetings to a good friend of mine who grew up with Brad and shared the same birthday party in grade school.
1971: GOLFER BOBBY JONES DIES.
Yeah, but somehow he ended up pitching for the Mets thirty years later.
1972: PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES THAT THE US WILL ENGAGE NORTH VIETNAM IN A SERIES OF CHRISTMAS BOMBINGS AFTER PEACE TALKS COLLAPSE.
That ain't Santa Claus up on your roof.
1973: THE ISLAMIC DEVELOPMENT BANK IS FOUNDED.
No interest.
1978: DOMINICA JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.
Is this a country or a stripper?
1997: HTML 4.0 IS PUBLISHED.
RFLMAO.
1997: ACTOR CHRIS FARLEY DIES.
What a waste.
2002: THEN GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIAN GRAY DAVIS ANNOUNCES THAT THE STATE BUDGET DEFICIT WILL BE TWICE WHAT HE PREDICTED.
Here comes Arnold.
2006: UNITED ARAB EMIRATES HOLDS ITS FIRST-EVER ELECTIONS.
That explains the gunshots.
2006: ANIMATOR JOSEPH BARBERA DIES.
Wilma!!!!
2007: TV HOST JACK LINKLETTER DIES.
His dad Art outlived him by three years.
2014: ACTRESS VIRNA LISI DIES.
Lots of happy guys in Heaven on this day.
2016: ACTRESS ZSA ZSA GABOR DIES.
At the age of 208.
Dinner last night: Hot fog at the movies.
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