Blog Post #500!!! --- A Photo Essay of My Saturday Errands

You've had 500 days of me in this blog. Well, 500 posts. There were actually two days when I posted twice, so perhaps we're really talking about 498 days of me. Now I'm already wondering what I will do to commemorate 1000 days. Unlike John F. Kennedy, I will not be riding in an open-air limousine through Dealey Plaza in Dallas.

But, that benchmark is down the road. We are at the 500 mark and what better way to celebrate 500 days than by showing you one. In pictures.

Please join me as I go about my Saturday errands all over Westwood, California.

The day, of course, begins at the computer as I post whatever I'm loading onto this blog site. This is Blogger Central, better known as the desk in my bedroom. You will note the dueling Met and Dodger stuffed animals. The pencil holder is a ceramic Met uniform with Mike Piazza's number on back. I haven't dressed yet, so we don't want to spend too much time here.

As I drove out of my garage for the errands, this is the first thing I had to see. Some dopes across the street have cleaned out their garage and offered it out to the public for sale. You see this all over my neighborhood on Saturdays. One man's junk become another man's...well, garbage. My church did a tag sale once, and you will be astounded who shows up at these things in the Los Angeles area. Movie studios canvas these yard sales stocking up their prop and wardrobe departments. There's a real find in this photo. Look at the wooden wheelchair on the left. Perfect if Paramount decides to do "FDR-The Musical."

Stop #1 for me is the dry cleaners. Or, should it be "are the dry cleaners." Well, anyway, when I was in the other apartment, they were right nearby. Then, we moved, but kept going to them. Then, they moved and we kept going to them anyway. So, if I ever move to San Diego, they'll probably do the same thing. The place is run by a very nice Korean family and the owner calls me "Mister Wren." One day, I dropped off a bundle while I was wearing a Dodger T-shirt. That prompted him to get very excited as he wanted to know all about how Korean-born pitcher Chan Ho Park was doing. I complied and that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, that's all we talk about whenever I show up. "Chan Ho he do good." Every single time.

Then, I usually stop for some pocket cash. I once left my ATM card in the machine and the bank totally impressed me with their customer service as a result of my sheer stupidity. Everybody in this branch is Persian, but we don't engage in too much friendly dialogue as the Dodgers currently do not have a Persian player on their roster.

I had a mail drop to do and this is one of those mailboxes where you don't even have to get out of your car. Of course, there was one time where I did this a little too quickly and my car (with its damaged driver's side mirror) wound up at... Well, let's just say there is a local auto body shop on my speed dial.

This is my favorite Ralph's Supermarket, although the entrance is totally obscured by the Best Buy next door. This is actually a very old building across from UCLA. Oddly enough, it used to be a Macy's, but has been completely overhauled to sell nothing but electronics and groceries. When I show up there on Saturdays, there is always some crowd of lunatics waiting for Best Buy to open. Forty five minutes later, you can find the same knuckleheads wheeling their HD TV purchases out to their cars. You see this week after effin week. And then I turn on the car radio and listen to the news about the current "recession." Uh-huh. People can't pay their mortgages, but that Discovery Channel sure does look great in High Def.

This Ralph's store features those automatic (translation: non-human) express lanes. They are amazing and confounding at the same time. Given the store's proximity to UCLA, these express lanes are usually frequented by Asian math students. And it amazes me just how confusing they find these very simple-to-operate machines. They spend 24/7 on their I-pods, their X Boxes, and cell phones. Yet, the simple task of scanning a box of Cocoa Puffs can take up to 15 minutes.

A snapshot of last Saturday's purchases. We horde Diet Snapples with Lemon. I regularly clean them out of these nifty 12 packs every Saturday morning. If you are looking to buy Diet Snapples in Westwood, you better get there before 10:20AM on Saturday morning. When the big earthquake hits, we will be the only home in Los Angeles where you can still enjoy a Diet Snapple.

I'm on line at the deli counter and incredibly bored, so I took this shot of the dairy section. My interest level is being challenged because this old couple is ahead of me and they are asking to sample every freakin' salad in the showcase. Ralph's will let you do this and I can swear some old fossils literally eat a whole lunch by taking samples. And they are surveying every single cold cut on display. "What's the difference between oven roasted turkey and maple roasted turkey?" It's turkey, damn it!! Slice the effin meat and get going! Meanwhile, one of the assistant manager eyes me suspiciously as I take pictures of his store. I'm sure he was thinking that I was prepping for some terrorist suicide attack against the challah bread.

For some bizarre reason, I always wind up driving past my old apartment during my Saturday errand run. This is the place we got tossed out of when the temple across the street decided to become some slum lords. There are people living in there again. I've checked the intercom directory and it looks like the White Pages in Tel Aviv. I wonder if the new tenants have discovered that their floor boards are acting as a Boston Market for termites. I expect to see this building in splinters any day now.

After dumping off the perishables at home, one of my favorite Saturday haunts is Laser Blazer, which is the leading DVD store in Los Angeles. Several of the clerks there have purchased two bedroom townhomes thanks to my patronage. And they have a computer system there that can list probably 98% of my DVD collection. My friends will shop there for my Christmas and birthday gifts, because the staff can easily call up what I already have. My visit there last Saturday also prompted a rare, but insightful conversation with the store owner. He knows me well, because there are only two people in their system with my last name. And he knows that I am Len and not Dieter. Anyway, we are chatting over a purchase and he was checking on my address. He jokes, "You haven't gone into hiding yet?" A throwaway line, but, for some strange reason, I let my guard down and reply with a political statement.

"No, not yet, but, given the two idiots running for President, I may hide under my bed for the next four years."

The owner nodded and said that he was going to go one better.

"If the wrong guy gets in, I am going to go and live with my gradnfather in Europe for a while."

He was dead serious. And I was wondering just which one he thought was the wrong guy. That revelation came almost immediately.

"I'm not looking for the change he's talking about."

Got it.

After a stop for gas, I was 75 dollars poorer. No need to show you a picture of the prices at the 76 station. Why document something you all know for yourselves? And then I went home for the afternoon. At this point, the Diet Snapple had been sufficiently chilled. And, with the central air in the apartment a cool 68 degrees, so was I.

Dinner last night: Dried cappacollo sandwich with salad.