Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Beware the Ides of March

From the Useless Information Department:

The traditional gift for a fourth anniversary is silk as shown in the photo above.

The more modern but accepted gift for a fourth anniversary is a small appliance.

I don't need either.  But I will accept your good wishes today.  The official fourth anniversary of Len Speaks.  Perhaps the worst thing to ever happen since Julius Caesar woke up on the same day and decided not to call in sick.

On this annual occasion, I always take time to deliver what I call my State of the Blog address.  The good news is that my words don't cost us anything in new property taxes or health care costs.  Unlike the President of the United States, I don't have any recent shooting victims or first responder heroes sitting with my wife up in the Congressional rafters.  Nope, these words are shared between me and you alone.

Isn't that what blogging is all about?

Looking back at Len Speaks for the past twelve months, it was quite the year for gaining new readers.  Thanks to some Google links, a tie-in to some other blogs such as "By Ken Levine," and a lot of shameless promotion on my part, the daily hits have skyrocketed.   I am writing about this in another entry, but it's almost startling to see where some of the readers are clicking on.  There's one daily check-in from somebody in India, which means a telemarketer is looking for something to do in between providing you with excellent Dell computer support.

The more astute fans know that I made a very conscious decision to stop writing about the disastrous political platforms now permeating everything we see, hear, and do in America.  It has resulted in a little bit kinder Len Speaks.  The major change came when I discontinued my Wednesday rants.  Frankly, I find every politician, regardless of the party affiliation, fairly detestable. 

When will these folks realize that the taffy pull between two extremely opposite thought processes is killing America as we know and love it?  I've been very vocal in announcing that I think the United States has only about a half century left as a purely democratic nation.  Unfortunately, from everything going in our worlds today, I now concede that my vision might be a little too optimistic.

But, I digress... 

The new Wednesday blog pieces are simply "This Day in History" and my research for them has been very educational.  They are also easy to write and, blog cheater that I am, I have discovered that I can write them way in advance.  Indeed, I did all of the March Wednesdays in one morning.  So much for doing a blog that forced me to have a daily writing session.  I set up a lot of the content here in advance and have often forgotten to run pieces altogether.  I had some nifty words to say about Lindsay Lohan last November.  Except, by the time I remembered the piece was in my draft queue, the whole thing was dated and her arrest record had already expanded by six more court dates.

I also make sure to have at least one daily piece that is "evergreen."  For those days where I am either not available to write or being held hostage.  If, in the next several weeks, you suddenly read a blog entry about Jack Benny, please contact the local SWAT team. 

Checking the Sitemaster stats, my most widely read piece was the one where I related my experiences "co-hosting" Dodger Talk last summer.  It also was helped by the fact that I posted that day's link on my Facebook wall.  There are some blog writers who do this as a regular practice.  I have resisted...so far.  After all, Facebook should be reserved for more special things.  Like telling your friends that last night's dinner made you nauseous or that your cat just ate poison.

My most popular pieces continue to be found in my Sunday Memory Drawer.  As a a matter of fact, in a rather amazing series of events tied to Facebook, some memories from grade school re-connected me to three girls that were with me from the second through the eighth grade.  That will evolve into new Sunday Drawer pieces soon as one memory usually leads to a flood of them. 

Indeed, that's often what happens with those entries.  Truth be told, there are some Friday nights where I realize that I have nothing written for the upcoming Sunday.  Then, suddenly, I will have an inkling from the past.  Before I know it, I have a three-part series that will consume my content quota for practically a whole month.  I can't explain how my mind works. 

I have come to realize, however, that my memory well is not bottomless.  There are stories I recall that I suddenly remember I wrote about two years ago.  This explains why, from time to time, I will bring back some previously-told tales for a second peek.  Yes, that's a classy way of saying "rerun."  I rationalize this action by referring to all the new readers who were not here in 2008 when I first wrote about some wacky thing somebody in my family said or did.  I will do my best to keep coming up with new "old" stuff.  But, when a Sunday Memory Drawer entry is all about starting this blog, it will be time for me to find something else to do on a Sunday.

It has been suggested by several friends that I should stitch the Sunday Memory Drawer into a screenplay. A "coming of age" story about somebody who is still admittedly waiting to "come of age."  I counter that nobody would really care about my story.  Frankly, it's really nothing more than "The Wonder Years" with a German grandmother.  And I did that already in a spec script for that show about twenty years ago.  If I find some sort of hook to hang the saga on, I will give it a whirl.  The good news is that most of my relatives are dead and can't sue.  Unless, of course, we all discover the ultimate horror and find that litigation is possible in Heaven.

Thanks for indulging me over the past four years.  At this point today, I'm meandering off the point.  But, then again, isn't that what a blog is all about?

What the Hell!  Happy Blogiversary!  Year Five begins now.

Dinner last night:  Sausage and olive pizza at Maria's Italian Kitchen.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Happy Blogiversary! I so enjoy reading them, especially Sunday Morning Drawer. You bring me back to so much that I have forgotten. Happy writing!!

Anonymous said...

Happy 4th.

As a friend who nags you to write a script about your family, I don't know what you're waiting for. Tishabah?

You could write your own "Radio Days" or "Hope And Glory." Audiences like family stories and you can honor your parents and grandparents by telling their story. No one else will.

There's gold in them thar Memory Drawers.