Meanwhile, fifty years later this month, the multiplexes tell us that it's a bad, bad, bad, bad world. Even though we've have an uptick of decent films this fall, you can always count on Hollywood to give us a lot of stickers. Which always makes me mad, mad, mad, mad.
You know the drill, gang. I'll sift through the Los Angeles Times movie pages and give you my knee-jerk gut reaction on the junk cluttering our eyeballs this weekend.
Well, there's always the DVD of "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." But I doubt all those premiere guests would fit onto my sofa.
Baggage Claim: An urban chick flick. Does it star Katherine Heigl in blackface?
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane: A high school party on a secluded ranch. Apparently, Mandy Lane wears a saddle.
Carrie: The remake of the old Brian DiPalma horror flick. As if the first time wasn't bad enough.
Birth of the Living Dead: A documentary on filmmaker George Romero who gave us the Living Dead franchise. Not a fan of the latter, so I am unlikely to see the former.
Big Ass Spider: A venomous creature terrorizes Los Angeles. Probably held over from the Mayor Villaraigosa era.
12 Years a Slave: One more reminder that there was once slavery in this country. Some people won't be happy until I myself am in chains.
All is Lost: Robert Redford is stranded alone at sea. Well, that's one way to duck the paparazzi.
Enough Said: Reviewed here recently. With a cast like this, I was thoroughly disappointed.
Don Jon: Joseph Gordon Levitt is a porno addict and trying to maintain a relationship with his girlfriend. I like the actor a lot, but it's playing in about two theaters. My guess is that it's got no buzz.
Captain Phillips: Tom Hanks is captured by Somali pirates. I wish.
Parkland: The people that were on the periphery of the JFK assassination. Reviewed here the other day. A winner but practically gone from theaters in one week. That's a shame.
I Used to Be Darker: The John Boehner story?
Rush: Ron Howard's latest and I saw it. Even though I know little about auto racing, it's an exhilerating story. The focus on the lesser of the two drivers is fascinating.
Romeo and Juliet: The umpteenth rendition of this. At some point, they will do with Miley Cyrus as one of the leads. If she plays Romeo, I may have to check it out.
Machete Kills: Another blood and gore effort from director Robert Rodriguez. Charlie Sheen plays the President of the United States. I saw that as an upgrade.
Insidious - Chapter 2: I am officially two chapters behind.
Muscle Shoals: A documentary about the Alabama town that became a music mecca. I'll take their word for it.
Linsanity: A documentary about pro basketball sensation Jeremy Lin. I know just a little more about pro hoops than I do of auto racing, but this could draw my attention.
Ihe Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete: Two kids have to fend for themselves in the Brooklyn projects. So they tore down Ebbets Field for this???
I Will Follow You into the Dark: A documentary about anybody who watches MSNBC regularly.
Kill Your Darlings: A drama about Allen Ginsburg, Jack Kerouac and other beatniks of the era. I see Daniel Radcliffe's name in the cast, but no mention of Maynard G. Krebs.
2 Jacks: A lecherous filmmaker and his son later follows in his footsteps. 2 Jacks? Who are the Jills?
The Fifth Estate: A drama about that Wikileaks screwball Julian Assange. Talk about speedwriting a script. Didn't this just happen about a year ago?
Escape Plan: Action adventure with Sylvester Stallone and, back from the state capitol, Arnold. I don't need an escape plan. I'm not entering the theater in the first place.
God Loves Uganda: I seriously doubt it.
Hellbenders 3D: Not even considering Hellbenders 2D.
Gravity: The big moneymaker right now and it is quite impressive to look at. But the hokey dialogue makes me want to send the filmmakers to the moon.
Lost for Words: A Marine in Hong Kong falls in love with a dancer. Or simply wait for "The World of Suzie Wong" to show up on TCM.
I'm In Love with a Church Girl: Ja Rule as a high powered drug trafficker. So the title is what they call "ironic?"
Prisoners: Reviewed here previously. A way too long episode of "Without a Trace."
Inequality for All: A documentary on that nutso, former Labor Secretary Robert Reich, who won't be happy until all your money is in some poor slob's wallet.
Bridegroom: A documentary about a gay man who lost his boyfriend from...oddly enough....writer/director Linda Bloodworth. Perhaps it should be retitled "Designing Men."
A.C.O.D.: That means "Adult Child of Divorce." Just in case you thought you had missed a new illness in the headlines.
The Summit: A documentary about some dead mountain climbers. I'm guessing they never reached the title of this movie.
Paradise: From Diablo Cody who did "Juno." A young, conservative girl goes to Vegas to let go of her inhibitions. And then you end up like the character in Cody's first movie.
The Paw Project: Yet another documentary. This one is about a vegetarian trying to ban the declawing of cats. I can't think of a worse way to spend 90 minutes.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2: My forecast is unlikely with a side of roasted potatoes.
Grace Unplugged: Grace Trey is the ideal Christian teen who is also a phenomenal singer. But at the tender age of eighteen, after she gets the music break of a lifetime and is thrust into the "real world" - her faith is put to the test. God help me.
Runner Runner: When a poor college student who cracks an online poker game goes bust, he arranges a face-to-face with the man he thinks cheated him, a sly offshore entrepreneur. It stars Justin Timberlake and Ben Affleck, so consider this your first and only warning.
Sweetwater: In the late 1800s, a fanatical religious leader, a renegade Sheriff, and a former prostitute collide in a blood triangle on the rugged plains of the New Mexico Territory. Starring Ed Harris and January Jones in the remote chance that you're even considering this.
Escape from Tomorrow: In a world of fake castles and anthropomorphic rodents, an epic battle begins when an unemployed father's sanity is challenged by a chance encounter with two underage girls on holiday in a famous amusement park. Disney lawyers meeting on Skype as we speak.
Dinner last night: Sauted chicken breast.
2 comments:
The dumping of "Parkland" is puzzling, especially since Tom Hanks produced it. He seems to have abandoned it to a quick death. Shame.
You mean stinkers, not stickers.
This blog is racist. "12 Years A Slave" is brilliant, a masterpiece. I haven't seen it personally, but I can tell it's the truth. - Andre
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