Is it CBS?
Is it the Arnaz kids who hold the rights to a lot of the Lucy legacy?
Is it simply a TV audience that has gotten so blase that they allow such outrages to happen?
Maybe it's all three. But, somebody needs to be punished for the outlandish telecast of the "I Love Lucy Christmas Special" last week.
Actually, now that I think about it, perhaps we blame media mogul Ted Turner. After all, he was the one in the late 80s and early 90s who applied crayons to all those classic black and white movies. But, then again, I'm pained to slap him on the wrists, too. I mean, he created the Turner Classic Movies cable channel. Heck, for that alone, he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize more than Barack Obama.
But, I digress...
Back in the Crayola days twenty years ago, somebody dusted off the rarely-seen "I Love Lucy" Christmas episode from the 1956-57 TV season. It never wound up in the syndication package so it was never rerun after the initial airing. Frankly, it's not the best Lucy outing. The Christmas theme here is simply a device to show some flashbacks from the "Lucy is Pregnant" storyline from Season 2. And they even recycle a multiple Santa Claus bit for the tag and that was originally done in the very first season.
All well and good, any "I Love Lucy" in prime time is welcome.
Except this was all colorized. And in a manner that made the Ricardos and the Mertzes all look like circus performers.
So, in 2013, "somebody" tries to re-introduce this all to a new generation. One more age group exposed to the glories of "I Love Lucy."
And I suppose that, because all the youngsters of today don't even know what black and white is, the ghoulishly colorized Christmas episode is brought back one more time.
But, wait, there's more. CBS opts to fill out a whole hour by colorizing another Lucy adventure. To make matters worse, it's the beloved "Lucy in the Grape Vat" episode.
Yes, I watched it all. And was thoroughly repulsed at the worst colorization ever. Beyond the bad hues of skin and hair, I noticed how mismatched the Ricardos' apartment looked. The walls weren't color-coordinated with the carpet. Who was the interior decorator in charge? Stevie Wonder?
Meanwhile, as annoyed as I was with the apparent need for colorization, I was angry all over again as I watched the second episode. I'm a Lucy fan and have watched this series for more decades than I want to admit. I know them by heart.
And that's how I noticed that there were lines missing. Edited out probably by CBS to include even more commercials for the last-minute-Christmas-sale at Target.
I remember that Fred makes a joke comparing the Roman Coliseum to Yankee Stadium. Gone.
Also removed was a whole exchange between Lucy and Ethel regarding how the former will get around the Italian vineyard without speaking the language. Lucy talks about the hand gestures she will use. But, that whole dialogue is taken out. Of course, there's a hand gesture gag later on that now has no pay off because the set-up is gone.
Hello, hello, is this mike on? Does anybody else care about this?
Even the opening and closing credits were doctored. True Lucy fans know that the heart opening was only used for the syndication reruns. When "I Love Lucy" was originally in prime time, the opening changed every week and used these wonderful stick figures of Lucy and Desi. Why not use them? They're available on all the DVD sets of the show.
Meanwhile, the closing credits were also redone to include a scrolling guest cast for both episodes. Hey, who am I? Maybe this had to be done for new provisions in talent contracts. But, still....
Tampering was afoot. And, as far as I'm concerned, unnecessary.
Yep, I was mad. But the problem is that I don't know who to be mad at. In a situation fraught with morons, I don't know who are the true morons.
As for me, when I want to be thoroughly re-engaged with "I Love Lucy," I simply turn to my vast DVD collection.
In beautiful black-and-white. And completely un-edited.
Dinner last night: A Christmas dinner cooked by yours truly. Ham, fingerling potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, glazed carrots....the works.
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