The "Great Easter Show."
Okay, they have...no pun intended...resurrected this production at Radio City Music Hall. There's no movie, of course. And now it's called a Spring Holiday Spectacular, so as not to offend anybody.
Puh-leze!
One more time, I am longing for the old days. And a visit today to the multiplexes of America makes you wish they were still making movies like this one which played at the Showplace of the Nation.
Um, no such luck. You know the monthly deal, gang. I'll sift through the movie pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my gut reaction to what's polluting our screens this month. Trust me, plenty of Easter eggs are being laid.
And I did say "Easter."
Cinderella: Disney's live action version of the girl who can't keep her shoe on. Not to confused with their cartoon edition or the Broadway musical. Or, for people who read this too fast, the Coachella concert.
5 to 7: 6:55 to you.
Broken Horses: What happens when you have overweight riders.
Get Hard: Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, and probably not one single laugh.
Furious 7: They apparently send off the late Paul Walker in a sweet way. After glorifying car crashes for two hours before.
While We're Young: Review to come. Yes, I did see a Ben Stiller movie.
Danny Collins: Al Pacino plays an aging musician. Show of hands for those people who actually want to hear him sing.
The Longest Ride: A sappy romantic drama that features an unrecognizable Alan Alda in a supporting role.
White God: Dogs rebel. Apparently there are not enough hydrants around.
Woman in Gold: Helen Mirren searches for a Gustav Klimt painting. Yeah, that's not a typo.
Ex Machina: Did they leave out "Deus?"
It Follows: Another horror movie from Hollywood. But, then again, aren't they all?
El Nino: Boy, do we need one of those in Southern California? The weather phenomena, not the movie.
Home: More non-Disney animation with Jim Parsons, Jennifer Lopez, and Rhianna among the voices. Mel Blanc was...ahem...unavailable.
Paul Blart - Mall Cop 2: For those three people who can't get enough of Kevin James.
Unfriended: The first Facebook-based slasher movie.
Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter: The title alone keeps me away.
Salt of the Earth: Being boycotted by anybody with high blood pressure.
The Divergent Series - Insurgent: I know no one who is into this franchise. But, then again, most of my friends are over 15.
Effie Gray: Victorian scandal with Dakota Fanning. Okay, if you insist.
Dial A Prayer: God makes robo calls.
True Story: A killer assumes the identity of a New York Times reporter. As if the newspaper isn't having enough problems with fact checking.
Beyond the Reach: Michael Douglas as a crazy billionaire on a hunting trip. This might be a documentary.
Child 44: A disgraced intelligence agent in 1953 Russia. Nyet.
Monsters - Dark Continent: More aliens. The ones from outer space, not across the border.
The Squeeze: A gambler and his young protege. Odds are I won't see it.
Kill Me Three Times: Which I believe is redundant.
Seymour - An Introduction: A documentary on pianist Seymour Bernstein. Unless he's the guy who composed "Chopsticks," I'll pass.
Lost River: Ryan Gosling is the director. That's a yellow flag.
Alex of Venice: A workaholic attorney restarts her life. At $250 per hour.
The Road Within: A young man with Tourette's sneaks out of his clinic to be with his OCD love interest. Bring your own medication.
Dinner last night: Pasta shells with sausage and portobello mushrooms in olive oil at Casa Nostra in Pacific Palisades.
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