Sunday, April 15, 2018

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Exploring a Family Photo

My search continues for memories left behind by my family.  Unfortunately, there is still very little on my mother's side, which remains a perplexing mystery for me.   But the paternal end of things is turning up some interesting relics.

My cousin Lisa is doing the same with Ancestry tests, etc..   Oddly, she is turning up about as much information on her mother as I am with mine.  But she dug up the above photo on our fathers' side and it is so revealing in so many ways.

A little history.   My paternal grandparents came to America in the early 20th Century.   They were not married at the time and they showed up separately.  Did they meet in Europe originally or was the hook-up here?  That is anybody's guess.   Indeed, their respective birth places change over the years.  In the 1920 census, my grandfather lists his birth place as Russia.  In the 1930 census, it was Poland.  In the 1940 census, both grandparents said that Germany was their homeland.  Hmmm.

Well, anyway, once they connected in the Bronx, New York, Grandma popped out four sons pretty quickly.   The oldest was August, named after my grandfather and my cousin Lisa's dad.   Next was Alfred, later called Fritz.  Then, Leonard or Lenny.  I am named after him.  The youngest son was Harold.  That was my dad.

So, from the photo above, we had to do some detective work to figure it all out.  Those are my grandparents in the middle.  Grandma's hair is dark.  I never saw that for myself.   Grandpa looks as stiff as a board.   But, as I zoomed in, I noticed something sweet and very unusual for my family.   Grandma and Grandpa are holding hands.   You would have had to be in my family to know that such public signs of affection are rare, to say the least.

Okay, so the three brothers from left to right are Fritz, Harold, and Augie.  They are all dressed in tuxedos which means this is a wedding.  But whose?  Well, although he is cut off a little on the right, Augie's tie seems to be different than the others.   So, Sherlock Holmes guess it's his wedding day.

Now, my cousin tells me her folks were married in November, 1946.  This would be eight months before my father and mother tied the knot.   Fritz' oldest son was born around 1945 so he was probably already wed in this picture.   The point being is that all three brothers had significant others who were probably at this gathering but didn't make the photo op.

Speaking of Fritz, you seem how big he appears to be.  That would be my memory of him.  He was the brother that was closest to my dad, but, frankly, the guy scared the bejeebers out of me every time this five-year-old saw him.  His appearance was that of a giant.   His voice was booming.  And every time he followed me up a flight of stairs, he'd give me a wedgie.  Charming.

I look at this photo and my dad appears small and relatively uncomfortable.  Comparatively, that was my image of him throughout life.   His personality was not one that would light up a room immediately.  Both Fritz and Augie had more bombastic personalities.   You heard their voices several rooms away.  My dad tended to blend more into the background.  He seems to do so in this photo as well.

Of course, as I am told the likely photo date from Lisa, I note that this would be about a short fifteen months after the fourth brother, Lenny, was killed in World War II.  Ironically, he died in action in the south of France just two weeks before the European portion of World War II ended in May of 1945.  So, Lenny is missing from this family photo and I wonder what the emotions were about that.

Or were there any emotions at all?  You never know because there is nobody to ask.   And they certainly never told me over time.   So we just have to be content with little glimpses of their lives in photographs like this.  

Fascinating and simultaneously sad.   Another reminder to ask the questions while you still have the opportunity.

Dinner last night:  Steak and shrimp with Szechwan sauce.




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