Most of the time these days, the real disaster in the theaters is what is on the screen. You all know the drill, gang. I'll drift through the movie pages of the local newspaper and give you my gut reaction to what is polluting the cinemas of our lives.
And, now focusing on the main feature above, I guess we can all remember a night we might have spent with a real blob, too.
Captain Marvel: He's a woman!
Wonder Park: An animated theme park. At least you can save on parking.
Five Feet Apart: A young girl with cystic fibrosis falls in love. Just goes to prove there is somebody out there for everyone.
How To Train Your Dragon - The Hidden World: Luckily I live in a dragon-free apartment building.
Captive State: An extra-terrestrial force takes over Chicago. I thought that was Oprah.
Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral: Proud to say I have never seen a Tyler Perry movie.
The Lego Movie 2 - The Second Part: The number "2" and the "second part" are redundant in the title.
Alita - Battle Angel: More futuristic garbage. As if the present day isn't bad enough.
Green Book: Sorry, Spike, it was the Best Picture of the Year.
Isn't It Romantic: Probably not.
Fighting With My Family: The family that wrestles together stays together.
Greta: A young girl gets more than she asks for when she returns a handbag she found on the subway. No good deed goes unpunished.
Apollo 11: Blog review coming. Trust me. This documentary is worth your time.
The Upside: I hear there is none.
What Men Want: A romantic comedy with Tracy Morgan. How about a tutorial for Tracy on how to wear seat belts.
Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase: Can a Hardy Boys reboot be far behind?
Gloria Bell: Reviewed here recently. Absolute garbage from a director who is so full of himself that he remade his own movie.
A Star is Born Encore: With extra footage! Just what this piece of junk needed.
Everybody Knows: About this movie, I know little.
Happy Death Day 2.0: Just when I finally figured out V 1.0.
The Russian Five: Collusion!!!
El Chicano: It's a drama but George Lopez is in the cast. Wait. That makes sense. He's not funny.
Wheely: A cartoon about a city where cars are citizens. Insert your favorite New York or Los Angeles traffic joke here.
Hotel Mumbai: Terrorism in India. When is check out time?
Ramen Shop: All about a ramen chef. You're out of your noodle.
Trading Paint: John Travolta as a stock car racing legend. Maybe his car needs some "Grease." Okay, go ahead and groan.
Maze: All about the 1983 breakout of 38 Irish Republicn prisoners from Maze Prison. Well, it is the season of St. Patrick's Day.
Dragged Across Concrete: Mel Gibson as a cop suspended for assaulting a suspect on video. I love the title.
Out of Blue: A New Orleans cop investigates the murder of an astrophysicist. Talk about falling into a black hole.
Us: Four masked strangers descend upon a family at a beachfront house. Well, there goes that vacation. Jordan Peele is the director, so assume there's a teachable moment or two about diversity.
They Shall Not Grow Old: I hear this is a wonderful documentary by Peter Jackson about those who fought in WWI.
Stan and Ollie: Still playing around and I still think this sweet and charming movie is worth your attention.
Dinner last night: Bratwurst and German potato salad.
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